I am needing to vent! I went to the school today to pick up my son and saw that he had once again gotten a scuff on his sweet little cheek! There is a boy in a grade below him that has major behavioral problems. I know this becuase his Mother is a friend of mine. I know she has her hands full but this is rediculous!! This is NOT the first time this has happened! I know boys get to rough housing at recess but come on! My son told the teacher on duty but I have no idea what was done if anything. How do I stop bullying in first grade????? It just breaks my heart!!!!! Anna 
I would talk to the child's mother if she is a friend of yours. When my child was that age, there was a boy that kept slapping my child in the face. I talked to his teacher and she said she tried talking to the boy, but he continued to do the same thing. After a certain point, I called the child's mother and told her what her child was doing and she said," kids will be kids". I kept telling her that he is just bulling other children and she needed to talk with him about how to behave. Once again my child was slapped and I went to her house and confronted her again. She said that she did not think it was that big a deal so she did not talk to him. I told her that she was being put on notice that from now on if her son hit my son that my son would be given permission to be the tar out of her son. Well, his teacher said that she went to school to see what was going on and saw him attack another child and went up to her child and slapped him in the face. Guess where he learned his behaviour? Her child was not allowed to be near my child after that. When this child was in high school, guess who was always in trouble with the law?
Wow, I am so sorry to hear that you went through all of that! It is SO distressing to have your child being picked on, bullied or mistreated in any way. Totally heartbreaking and mind blowing. I really hope that it won't come to that in my case. I know we all say that "It won't happen to me". But I will do what ever it takes to protect my son. He is a sweet, thoughfull and mellow child. He doesn't fight back, he just takes it. I keep telling him that it is okay to defend yourself and that sometimes you just have to. You cannot just stand there and let someone mistreat you or they will continue to do so. My son is no different from anyone else in his class or his age so I don't understand this at all. I think it is just that this one kids has problems and his Mother is not handling it well. His childhood has not been without turmoil. I am just going to have to pray my heart out that this will resolve itself and for the wisdom to know how to handle this and for the courage to do what ever it is that the Lord calls me to do to make it stop. Thanks for your help all of you! Anna
Iam so lucky to have an awesome awesome first grade teacher for my son if I were some of you I would pluck him out so fast no body would see it comming. I however do not think confronting the parent is a good idea moms of misbehaved children rarely believe there child can do anything wrong in some ways thats why the child is the way he or she is because the parents dont do anything to stop it the best thing you can do is be a presence continually call the school the teacher the princapal until something is done in todays schools people take the 0 tolerance policy way overboard when it is not needed and then when it is nothing is done I assure you if your child hits back thats when the teachers will deciede to take action and your son will be the one in trouble its the way it always works if i had to go to the school myslef and watch unseen from a corner on the play ground somewhere thats what i would do and you should definitly let the princapal know that the playground dutie is being remiss.
Well, that's a thought. But what if the other kids saw me? Wouldn't that give them AMO to tease my son? I don't think it would be good for his Mommy to be hovering over him like that. I have to admit that I would love to see exactly what goes on with my own eyes and catch the little TURD red handed. I'm afraid of what I might do though! I might be the one in trouble then! I agree though that going to the parent is the last resort. The last time he did this to my son, he had thrown a piece of ice at his face! The little miscrient had cut him under his eye!!!!! I had my son go up to his Mother and SHOW her what her son had done to him! I didn't hear what the Mother said but I heard the kid denying it up and down. I was so livid I could barely speak, at least anything that wasn't X rated. Anna
I am confused why you wouldn't talk to his mother if she is a friend of yours. Is your friendship on thin ice? If not she should understand your concerns. I am not saying go screaming at her. You said you showed her the injury and her son denyed it up and down. What was her reaction? If she defended him, then go to the principal and tell him what is happening. Tell him that you are concerned that next time he throws something, it might cause a more serious injury. If the principal igores you, then tell him if there are any serious injuries, you can take it to the school board.
I know the feeling too well. My daughter is also in first grade and the little girl cat fighting is unbelievable! Stay on top of it with your son's teacher and the principal if necessary. It's sickening to think of our littles being treated this way.
I know your concerns about not wanting to get your son further teased by being at school I myslef am a parent volunteer so im in the classroom twice a week I help on the playground its not nearly as bad for your mommy to (work) at the school as it is for your mom to be there to protect you from bullies and when im there I dont sit attached to my son I play with all the kids and talk to the other grown up's I cant tell you how many hugs I get its so cute at class partys take valentines for instance all the kids brought me a teacher valentine to cause they knew I would be there it is not uncool in first grade. but if you do see a problem involving your child you have to have the control to bring it to the teachers attention and not going running up to his rescue cause that would make the other kids tease him I know its a balancing act between letting them grow up and wanting to proctect them I struggle with it everyday luckily the only problem we have had is a older larger bully on the bus and that was easy to fix i just had my husband ( who is rather intimidating) walk him to the bus a few times and that ended that. whatever you choose to do just keep on the teachers and the princapal dont try to talk to the mother without a medator even if she is your friend keep a record of the things this bully does and if all else fails if there is anther phscial altercation take it to the police.
When my son showed her the injury I didn't hear what she said. I didn't want to put her in an awkward position by having me standing there like I was demanding some kind of apology. I felt like that should have come regardless. So she ended up doing nothing about the first incident. This was the second. My son said that he was wrestling with him and scraped his face against the pavement and into the "dirty water"! My son repeatedly asked him to stop but he wouldn't. The teacher that was on recess duty was actually the boy's teacher and apparently she did keep him in from recess today for punishment. But his Mother has done nothing to my knowledge. She certainly has not said anything to me. If this happens again then I will have no problem going to the Mother. I am not sure I can really call her a friend of mine anymore. Anyone that allows their child to treat my child in this manner is no friend of mine. I don't need friends like that. But as of right now I would say our friendship is lukewarm. I guess the reason I didn't confront her about it the first time was because I know that she has her hands full with him and I didn't want to get him in trouble or do anthing to cause friction in our friendship. Friends come and go though, my first responsibility is to my children. Thanks for helping me realize this. A little light bulb just went off in my head. I have been being a bit to timid. Is that what you think? Anna
As a teacher, talking to the mother is not going to prove helpful. Parents (I've found) have this uncanny ability to recognize the behavioral problems of their children while in school. And basically, if it's happening IN school, there is little to nothing the parent can do to stop the behavior other than ultimatums. It may sound extreme, but you need to talk to the principal about this (especially because the offending boy is in another class). You don't have a right to discuss the boy's behavior with his teacher, but you do have a right to discuss what is happening to YOUR son during school hours.
why dont you ask for a meeting between yourslef the boys mom the two teachers and the princapal to see if the issue can get resolved. there is no excuse for bulling and it should not be ignored but maybe you could tell your son to ignore this boy if your not wrestling with him you cant get hurt. often times and im sure we all know this bullys are the way they are to get attention and fanning the flames is only going to cause this troubled boy to continue his aggressive behavior he is obvilously in need of attention and this is his way of getting it maybe just try to have your son play on opposite sides of the playground for awhile.
Thanks rlsaxe! I appreciate your reply, especially since you are a teacher! I have just been at a complete loss as to how to handle this. Could I be over reacting? That is a fear in the back of my mind. I bet you here allot of this kind of thing on a daily basis. This kid just irritates me and that could be partly why I am so defensive. My son's name is Alex. This kid calls him "Allie" as a nickname. This really bothers me as "Allie" is a girl's name! Alex even has a girl in his class named this! The kid is Alex's age, just in the grade below him. Alex had the same teacher he has last year. So she knows my son and his personality and temperment. Anyway, I appreciate your comments a great deal! It's just so hard when your precious children are mistreated!
Anna
CORRECTION.....I MEANT to say that parents have an uncanny ability NOT to recognize the behavioral problems of their children!
ANd YES, it is VERY hard to see your child being mistreated in ANY way. It hurts like nothing else.
Talk to the principal. Don't seem overly upset when you talk to him/her....just request a time for a quick sit down in order to bring the situation to light. Principals need to know what is going on in schools, especially when kids are being left with marks on their faces from rough behavior.
heather2780, I did do that. I have told Alex to try to stay away from him. I asked him if he had any problems with the kid today and Alex told me "No, he didn't see him today". So I was glad for that. One good day this week so far! Let's hope for some more! I hope that I won't have to resort to a meeting! That kind of horrifies me! I hate drawing attention to myself or causing any ripples. I just want to get along with everyone and I want everyone to like me. Is that crazy? Anna
In the first grade, I wouldn't worry too much about the kids teasing him because his mom is around. At that age, they are mostly still 'afraid' of adults. If the bully knows you've got your eye on him, maybe that will make a difference.
No, it's not crazy to be non-confrontational, but don't be afraid to do what you have to do to keep your child safe. Sometimes you have to be 'hard core mommy' - it's just part of the job description!
Quote by @%username% on %date%
%body%