Throught you might get a kick out of this 
Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven.
When they get there, St. Peter says, "We only have one rule here in heaven: don't step on the ducks!"
So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one.
Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw.
St. peter chains them together and says, "Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man!"
The next day, the second woman steps accidentally on a duck and along comes St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing. With him is another extremely ugly man. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first woman.
The third woman has observed all this and, not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man, is very, VERY careful where she steps.
She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St. Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on: very tall, long eyelashes, muscular, and thin.
St. Peter chains them together without saying a word.
The happy woman says, "I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?"
The guy says, "I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck!"
Hope you enjoyed it as much as I did 
Forgot to add that I tried to copy and paste the pictures that went along with it but for some reason it did not work.
The guy was really sexy looking and the woman was a real dog...bow wow.
this reminds me of a joke I heard about Winston Churchill.
supposedly he was at a party where he got drunk.
a woman came up to him and told him he was drunk.
his response was:
"Madame, it is true that I am drunk, but, madame, in the morning I shall be sober and you will still be ugly!" 
this reminds me of a joke I heard about Winston Churchill.
supposedly he was at a party where he got drunk.
a woman came up to him and told him he was drunk.
his response was:
"Madame, it is true that I am drunk, but, madame, in the morning I shall be sober and you will still be ugly!"
Reminds me of when Dean Martin once said - "I feel sorry for you people that don't drink, 'cause when you wake up in the morning, that's as good as you'll feel all day long."
Well as we're telling jokes - I like this 'techie' one:
THREE WOMEN - ONE GERMAN, ONE JAPANESE & A HILLBILLY - WERE
SITTING NAKED IN A SAUNA. SUDDENLY THERE WAS A BEEPING
SOUND.
THE GERMAN PRESSED HER FOREARM & THE BEEP STOPPED. THE
OTHERS LOOKED AT HER QUESTIONINGLY. "THAT WAS MY PAGER." SHE SAID.
"I HAVE A MICROCHIP UNDER THE SKIN OF MY ARM."
A FEW MINUTES LATER, A PHONE RANG. THE JAPANESE WOMAN LIFTED
HER PALM TO HER EAR. WHEN SHE FINISHED, SHE EXPLAINED, "THAT WAS
MY MOBILE PHONE. I HAVE A MICROCHIP IN MY HAND."
THE HILLBILLY WOMAN FELT DECIDEDLY "LOW TECH". NOT TO BE
OUTDONE, SHE DECIDED SHE HAD TO DO SOMETHING JUST AS
IMPRESSIVE.
SHE STEPPED OUT OF THE SAUNA & WENT TO THE BATHROOM. SHE
RETURNED WITH A PIECE OF TOILET PAPER HANGING FROM HER BEHIND. THE
OTHERS RAISED THEIR EYEBROWS & STARED AT HER.
THE HILLBILLY WOMAN FINALLY SAID, "WELL, WILL YOU LOOK AT
THAT, I'M GETTING A FAX!!
I love these...I'm laughing as I type this, too.....
I hope someone else has funny jokes like these...
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