Need Help With My Daughter! (Long)
Lounge By EverlastingSweets Updated 23 Feb 2007 , 2:09am by EverlastingSweets
MOM Is that you???? lol...I'm kidding..wow this takes me back to when I was in high school, I was Just like your daughter. I had the good grades, blah blah blah, my mom would give me ultimatums if my grades would drop below a B+...I didnt really have any friends and didnt belong to a click and I would eat my lunch in the bathroom...ewwwwwww I know. Or just go read in the library during lunch. Then in 11th grade things changed, I gained a few friends, not just associates, and gained a little social life. I was introduced to alternative music, or as my mom calls it, "The type of music where the people just scream and dont sing." I Looooved it, still do. Its my favorite genre. Depending on what she listens too its actually 'cleaner' then most of the other popular types, it ranks in there with country. I've found few that swear, and if they do its one word and hard to catch.
Anyway, I wore all black, my mom would make me wear girly things and give me guilt trips when I refused. "All I wanted was a girly girl that I could take shopping and get pedicures and have girl talk with..." When she MADE me wear what she wanted me to, I would cry. I'd snip at people that complimented me because it made my mom right. I agree that the more you push the more she will push away. I felt like my mom was being a bit controlling. I mean, I kept my grades up, I wasnt in a gang, I was an honor student. I worked during school for more credit. I just didnt LOOK the part. I wore black All the time, still kind of do. My excuse now is that it makes me look slimer. haha. As for my grades slipping, I got bored. I stopped going to class. It was way to easy and I found it more enjoyable to go somewhere else. I'm an introvert and didnt like telling my feelings to people and I didnt like confrontations, so when my mom would yell at me to go and talk to my teachers about how I could fix it, I would lie and say that I did because I was more terrified of my teachers than my parent. Even though my parent could get physical. In all honesty I'd rather take a whooping than an emotional attack, so I'd guard my feelings from ANY potential threat. In the end the lies bit me and I didnt graduate with my class. I later made up the credits and got my diploma 4 months AFTER. But now I'm 20 and have and Associates in Culinary Arts and a new job offer in Phoenix, AZ with more $$$$. I am more successful than all my high school buddies and am proud of it. I wouldn't change my HS experience because it made me more determined to prove people wrong. I think your daughter will be alright. Just keep the lines of communication open and free, dont talk down to her for things and just accept what she says with love. My mom Didnt and doesnt now and now I'm leaving her. If she were more like that we'd have a closer loving relationship not one of anxiety and guilt. She may be goth but she can still be on the drill team, look at the show Bring it On!! haha.
Munkey, you won't believe this, but that is my daughters nickname "Changa" which is Spanish for monkey. Is that you??? 
Thank you for your words. She's been wanting to get more involved in volunteering so I took her today to the church and she wanted to join the youth group there. There were at least 15 of her neighborhood friends there, she was shocked. But it gave her a chance to reconnect, and now she wants to invite some of her "new" friends to church with her. Which I think is a wonderful gesture. She's going on a retreat this weekend with 7 of the neighborhood kids so they can talk about themselves, each other, and ways to grow together in faith and in themselves.
I was shocked she wanted to join, and glad that she made the decision on her own.
thanks Mouse!
I happy with the first steps so far!
I'll let you gals know...
Everlastingsweets your daughter sounds a LOT like mine she is 16 she kinda likes the goth thing she has always been encouraged to do things and explore her surroundings At first I thought she was going to get heavy into goth but she hasnt she likes stores like hot topic and she has one pair of those black pants with the ties and chains but she hardly ever wears them; she also like your daughter doesnt have a lot of friends and she is in ROTC she does Color Guard and is on the Saber Team when she first started in ROTC she was very shy and withdrawn but now she is very outgoing and talking about public speaking wow I would have never thought it. She has even told me that ROTC has really helped her so maybe the drill team will be a good thing for her. HTH She too like munkey is an honor student just made the principals list and her personality is a lot like munkey .
aw thank you Jackie!
Wow, our daughters do sound alike..she does like Hot Topic too. I get frustrated going in there, too loud!
Thats good to know that your daughter has found her own path, I'm hoping mine will too...
Congrats on raising what sounds like, a great young lady!
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