Condescension And Humility

Lounge By hbquikcomjamesl Updated 20 Oct 2014 , 4:28pm by cakebaby2

hbquikcomjamesl Posted 15 Oct 2014 , 12:57am
post #1 of 20

In the nearly eighteen months since I subscribed to this board, I have solicited constructive commentary and advice on my meager efforts, and I have offered the same. And I have learned a great deal

 

I have opened myself to the board on matters as absurd as feigning ignorance of Barney the Purple Dinosaur, and matters as serious as the recent death of my mother.

 

I have, when faced with a fellow subscriber's very real distress, replied with constructive, meaningful words of encouragement and practical advice, WHICH THE ORIGINAL POSTER TOOK IN THE SPIRIT INTENDED, AND APPRECIATED, only to be publicly flamed, and my words deemed offensive, by others whose responses to the original poster's distress consisted entirely of meaningless platitudes, resulting in a flame war that had to be quashed by the moderators.

 

I have had a completely and utterly inoffensive word -- the surname of the title character of a classic 1970s sitcom -- redacted by the board's autocensor, with nobody providing any explanation of why that word would be considered offensive.

 

I have made what, on any other board to which I have ever subscribed, or any of the email list servers to which I have subscribed, would be regarded as deliberately absurd offhand remarks, only to have them treated as insulting.

 

Over the course of my previous 1279 posts, I have, without exception, endeavored always to conduct myself with all the appropriate humility of a self-described dilettante, who has never stacked layers, much less tiers, and I have shown nothing but respect to the professional bakers and decorators here. Some have treated me with kindness, but others have treated me more condescendingly than I would treat a stray cat.

 

At this point, I'm starting to wonder what I'm doing here.

19 replies
ReginaPayne Posted 15 Oct 2014 , 1:00am
post #2 of 20


thanx

MBalaska Posted 15 Oct 2014 , 2:09am
post #3 of 20

I think that you will understand the reference and exactly what it means that it is the Brave New World & Big Brother is watching..................and in our lifetimes.   Who would have believed it in our youth???  Also I'm A Heinlein fan, have you read him?  Can you even believe that every single piece of mail that you send or receive through the U.S. Post Office is photo copied.  Every phone call logged and recorded. Every tiny single stoke on your keyboard can be recovered. This isn't our grandparents world anymore.

 

 I'm  watching, learning, gaining knowledge, progressing in my skills.  But honestly, and simply put - if this were a Sobbing Sara Saga or a Miss Agony Aunt Column  all about peoples daily foibles and misfortunes in life and not about baking, caking, decorating, cookie or candy making.  This would be the Dr. Phil-Maury Povitch-Monteil Williams show and not CakeCentral. 

 

You ask why you are here. You can answer that only to yourself.  Have you  tried out some new recipes? An icing that is not butter & sugar mixed with  a fork?  Piped roses & leaves with a good consistency icing. Hopefully you have enjoyed some of the fun, and learned to bake & decorate a bit better.

 

Can you believe that we all own Capt. Kirks hand held communicator, or that all of the doors at big businesses open and close without ever touching a handle......just like on the Enterprise??  big changes.  This too shall pass.

-K8memphis Posted 15 Oct 2014 , 2:41am
post #4 of 20

AJames, i'm looking forward to your next cake-- i came across an old old recipe that was most popular in the 70's & 80's and i've been thinking about suggesting that you or anyone get some silicone molds and make some cream cheese mints -- your guests will go nuts for the cream cheese flowers and leaves -- just as a potential idea of something very doable you could add to your repertoire someday -- my husband and i are literally aghast at the goings on and the timing in the other thread --

but let me try out the mint thing first-- not that you're gonna be running out tonight to try it or in the next two years either or anything -- but the mints can be made way in advance and kept frozen -- but i haven't made any in eons so let me see how they do in the more intricate molds we have these days -- and i will post about it going forward -- might be an idea to consider --

do you have anything planned for the holidays? i mean something you bake every year?

MBalaska Posted 15 Oct 2014 , 2:42am
post #5 of 20

or perhaps I missed the point altogether, as I'm oft to do...............the playoffs are distracting me.

denetteb Posted 15 Oct 2014 , 3:44am
post #6 of 20

Oh, what unpleasantness is happening in another thread?  Rats, I can't find it.  Oh, maybe I shouldn't announce that I do occasionally follow along just to see what goes on, kind of like watching a soapie.  I hate it when I comment on a thread and later get a notice about more posts and it has been deleted.  I always wonder where and how it turned bad.  Anyway, cream cheese candies are just as fabulous as ever, yummy little sugar bombs.  I haven't tried them with newer silicone molds but the gray live palm rubber ones are fantastic and last forever.  There are also ones that are yellow and they aren't as stretchy and easy to pop out as the gray ones.  My  mom tried some in one of the clear plastic molds, more like what you would use for chocolate or candy melts and she didn't have any luck with those for a mold for the cream cheese candies, they didn't come out nicely.  Cream cheese candies are wonderful little no brainer treats you can pop out sitting watching tv.

Norasmom Posted 15 Oct 2014 , 3:48am
post #7 of 20

I don't think you are condescending.  I do, however, find your posts to be odd, like many things on the internet written by people that I don't know personally. I find you to be very eccentric.  You don't make typical comments and ask typical questions about cakes and this is a cake website.  If you don't mean to be condescending or offensive, you know your true intentions so don't get too upset if people don't like what you write.

denetteb Posted 15 Oct 2014 , 4:00am
post #8 of 20

Uffda, I found it.   I did have to read the foot ball post twice to get the joke, can I blame it on being late?  It is a funny/wry comment so I will have to repeat it to my husband.  If you find pleasure in participating on Cake central, continue on.  If you don't, then don't.  But let it be your decision.  And perhaps don't do anything rash for a few weeks, you have enough emotions going on already.  My sympathy in the loss of your mother.

mattyeatscakes Posted 15 Oct 2014 , 4:30am
post #9 of 20

A

Original message sent by Norasmom

I don't think you are condescending.  I do, however, find your posts to be odd, like many things on the internet written by people that I don't know personally. I find you to be very eccentric.  You don't make typical comments and ask typical questions about cakes and this is a cake website.  If you don't mean to be condescending or offensive, you know your true intentions so don't get too upset if people don't like what you write.

This!!! ^^^

MBalaska Posted 15 Oct 2014 , 7:47am
post #10 of 20

"miscommunication" happens when we all don't agree to speak a common language that is accepted and understood by all.

 

It is something to consider that people from America, England, Scotland, Ireland, Wales, New Zealand, Australia, France, Spain, Germany, The Caribbean Islands (at least those are the CC members who post whose countries come to mind) and if this is going to be a forum with the common language of English.........then it is best to communicate in simple straightforward common and current English words. 

 

Avoiding complicated archaic encyclopedia jargon and  ancient off-the-wall uncommon references;  which makes communications murky and confusing, and translation impossible; is thoughtful and considerate.

Rfisher Posted 15 Oct 2014 , 2:44pm
post #11 of 20

AJames, you come here for the same reasons as every one else. To share and to learn. Each person puts their own angle and spin on those two. If one can't control themselves and try to control others...they belong on their own blog. Not a forum. I am sorry for your loss. Now, that being said, I don't believe this is a case of humor vs mourning. Timing of this is unfortunate. Nor do I believe this is a case of others miffed at an inside joke shared with folks outside the circle, nor obscure references than waiting with baited breath to be asked to explain and gleefully doing so. I don't believe this is an example of the strain of reading $1000 words chosen over $.99 ones, nor nationality/ dialect. The man was asked if he was disrespecting CC members or his own mother. Something else happened that we, the general public are not privy to. I hope I am right. I'm not saying all this is called for, nor warranted. I know that I do not have the right to know. But I hope it does get explained.

hbquikcomjamesl Posted 15 Oct 2014 , 4:14pm
post #12 of 20

Quite honestly, I do expect anybody who's sufficiently educated enough to be here in the first place to be educated enough to figure out that "equine masticatory orifice" is an intentionally silly way of saying "horse's mouth," and to recognize "straight from the horse's mouth" as a metaphor for truthful and accurate information, direct from the source (and "looking a gift horse in the mouth" as a metaphor for ingratitude for, and/or questioning the value of, something one didn't have to pay for).

 

And when I explained it, I did not do so "gleefully," because I expected to do so; rather, I was surprised and annoyed that I would have to do so.

 

By contrast, if I'm telling the "get the quarter back" joke, which actually DOES involve gleefully explaining something that SHOULDN'T be instantly obvious, I don't actually wait for anybody to feed me the obvious straight line (i.e., asking me what I'm talking about); I deliver the punchline as soon as the non-sequitur of football being "way too much fuss over a lousy 25 cents" starts to sink in.

 

Then again, I dunno whether it's grief, politics, or both, but I seem to have a short fuse this week.

-K8memphis Posted 15 Oct 2014 , 4:54pm
post #13 of 20

all bereaved people have short fuses although you have conducted yourself just fine short fuse or not and then when you get cyber bullied on top of it it's mind blowing and egregious -- what those people revealed about themselves is embarrassing -- 

costumeczar Posted 19 Oct 2014 , 9:28pm
post #14 of 20

Quote:

Originally Posted by hbquikcomjamesl 
 

Quite honestly, I do expect anybody who's sufficiently educated enough to be here in the first place to be educated enough to figure out that "equine masticatory orifice" is an intentionally silly way of saying "horse's mouth," and to recognize "straight from the horse's mouth" as a metaphor for truthful and accurate information, direct from the source (and "looking a gift horse in the mouth" as a metaphor for ingratitude for, and/or questioning the value of, something one didn't have to pay for).

 

And when I explained it, I did not do so "gleefully," because I expected to do so; rather, I was surprised and annoyed that I would have to do so.

 

By contrast, if I'm telling the "get the quarter back" joke, which actually DOES involve gleefully explaining something that SHOULDN'T be instantly obvious, I don't actually wait for anybody to feed me the obvious straight line (i.e., asking me what I'm talking about); I deliver the punchline as soon as the non-sequitur of football being "way too much fuss over a lousy 25 cents" starts to sink in.

 

Then again, I dunno whether it's grief, politics, or both, but I seem to have a short fuse this week.

I don't know what thread you're referring to, or whether someone has been sending you private messages to scold you. Doesn't matter...I'm sorry about your mother, my mother died 7 or 8 years ago and it's still raw. I'd recommend taking time off from things that annoy you, including any online boards where people feel like they should be telling you what to post. Once you're feeling better things won't be as nerve-wracking.

 

You do tend to use terminology that's deliberately obfuscatory (there's one for you) and that can throw people off. However, unless you asked for an opinion people can either choose to read your posts or just skip them, there's no reason to confront anyone about anything they post in a public forum unless it's racist, obscene, whatever. I'll add that your comment about assuming that people on here are generally educated enough to be on here made me laugh, because as far as I know there's no test to see if you're smart enough to use the internet. Once you're online all bets are off.

mcaulir Posted 20 Oct 2014 , 1:42am
post #15 of 20

Quote:

Originally Posted by hbquikcomjamesl 
 

Quite honestly, I do expect anybody who's sufficiently educated enough to be here in the first place to be educated enough to figure out that "equine masticatory orifice" is an intentionally silly way of saying "horse's mouth," and to recognize "straight from the horse's mouth" as a metaphor for truthful and accurate information, direct from the source (and "looking a gift horse in the mouth" as a metaphor for ingratitude for, and/or questioning the value of, something one didn't have to pay for).

 

And when I explained it, I did not do so "gleefully," because I expected to do so; rather, I was surprised and annoyed that I would have to do so.

 

By contrast, if I'm telling the "get the quarter back" joke, which actually DOES involve gleefully explaining something that SHOULDN'T be instantly obvious, I don't actually wait for anybody to feed me the obvious straight line (i.e., asking me what I'm talking about); I deliver the punchline as soon as the non-sequitur of football being "way too much fuss over a lousy 25 cents" starts to sink in.

 

Then again, I dunno whether it's grief, politics, or both, but I seem to have a short fuse this week.


You know, I'm pretty educated. I can understand lots of fancy book learnin'. I can understand what you write. I just wonder what the point of writing in such a way on a cake forum might be. To be honest, I rarely bother reading your posts because it's too much effort. You can write in whatever way you like, of course. But I don't think you have a leg to stand on when writing things that are deliberately over the top, and then get offended when people misunderstand.

 

And to be honest, basically implying, as you did above, that anyone who doesn't immediately understand obscure metaphors is ill-educated or stupid is pretty insulting.

MBalaska Posted 20 Oct 2014 , 1:58am
post #16 of 20

http://www.cakecentral.com/t/779378/to-fill-or-not-to-fill#post_7549678

 

as @hbquikcomjamesl said in this thread ^^      ......"Miscommunication can lead to grief."  

 

my post above is in agreement with that statement.

jennicake Posted 20 Oct 2014 , 4:05am
post #17 of 20

Quote:

Originally Posted by hbquikcomjamesl 
 

Some have treated me with kindness, but others have treated me more condescendingly than I would treat a stray cat.

 

I dont know what happened (and am not asking to know) to spur this post... but unfortunately, that's the way it seems to be when dealing with a bunch of essential strangers in a faceless forum online.  Whether its here, or any other forum really.  There will be tons of kind people, and undoubtedly a few who will be condescending just for the sake of being that way.  Don't those people get to you, they are who they are and the comments probably have absolutely nothing to do with you even if they are directed at you.  I'm confident there are much much more people around here that are kind to you than those that are condescending/rude/etc.   Keep that in mind!

 

And I'm terribly sorry about your mother.  I dont know you, but I know that can't be an easy thing to deal with right now, so my thoughts are with you.

jgifford Posted 20 Oct 2014 , 11:41am
post #18 of 20

James, you're a hoot.  If others don't get or understand your humor, don't worry about it.  I've discovered that my warped (as my father told me) sense of humor doesn't go over well in print and people are so quick to take offense at anything these days.

 

I made a comment a couple of years ago, strictly in fun, and was treated to a ripping like I had never received before.  It was deleted almost immediately, but not before I saw it.  Since then, I don't post photos and I try not to say much on the forums.  But this is where I get inspiration, encouragement, ideas, etc., so I keep coming back. 

 

I haven't yet seen the thread in question, but I'm going to look now.  Don't let them get you down.

 

My condolences on the death of your mother.

 

Jan

elisaber Posted 20 Oct 2014 , 11:45am
post #19 of 20

Anyone else think this was a thread about condensation and humidity?? I swear I was one huge big "HUH??" when I opened it and started reading :lol:

cakebaby2 Posted 20 Oct 2014 , 4:28pm
post #20 of 20

Quote:

Originally Posted by elisaber 
 

Anyone else think this was a thread about condensation and humidity?? I swear I was one huge big "HUH??" when I opened it and started reading :lol:

I like your style elisaber!

Quote by @%username% on %date%

%body%