Again ..... in my many many browsing of practically all of the threads on here, I cannot recall EVER seeing a comment such as "your cake sucks", ergo I believe exaggerated statements like this are posted just for the purpose of getting something started and detract from any credibility.

In my experience on CC, if anyone EVER flat out said "your cake sucks", then I'm willing to bet the rest of us CC'ers would go down the throat of the person who made such a statement, because we aren't going to let you beat up our little sister! Anyone who has been on here any length of time knows that like any family, we bicker, we fight .... and we're VERY protective of each other!

fluffers started another thread, and it is a "tire" cake, not a 4 "tier" cake she's making. It's a grooms cake for her brother at his wedding.

Not at all, Indy.
So what do you do when someone passively does it?
If it's not blatant it's just as bad. Stings as much. It's still wrong.
Passive aggressives suck.

Here's a recent example paraphrased, "My cake will be decorated cleaner than that one." It's an underhanded way of saying the cake is not decorated in a clean way. Did they come out and say 'this cake sucks' --yes they did. Now what.

Not that I'm always correct in my way of approaching people, I screw up just like every one else, even when I mean the best at heart. But how I TRY to approach these posts:

I do not offer advice unless asked. If they didn't ask what they could have done better, I don't tell. Now, we also know there are people who ask, get GOOD advice and still get their feelings hurt. Don't ask if you don't want to know. But that's a whole other subject. Back to topic.....

You can ALWAYS find something nice to say. Always. I've seen some horrible sloppy cakes but their coloring was perfect. So I say - "that is an awesome red! Great job!"

Or maybe the borders rocked, or something as simple as the flavor sounding yummy. I've seen designs I didn't like, but the cake was as level as perfect can get and nice and neat - and I say so. I don't lie, but I also TRY not offend. Or maybe they are doing a technique I don't care for - I can still appreciate the skill needed to execute it and say so. I don't care for basketweave cakes - but I can appreciate a nicely done job none-the-less. That's hard on the hands! And keeping those lines straight - wow! Or all those stars on the character cakes. Personally I would never buy a character pan (only because they are limiting - not because I see anything wrong with the pan itself), but I can respect the decorator who stood there piping a thousand stars on one.

There is always something nice to say, and still be honest. You only have to look inside yourself to find it.

Amen! And anyone who has done those thousands of stars is nodding their head along with us! I personally don't like topsy turvy cakes. I think they are the silliest looking things ever. but I absolutely respect the talent it takes to create one! There's a difference between doing a bad job and doing something that is just not my taste.

Indy, I guess her mea culpas seemed sincere but all she had to do was edit her post. What. And the girl who made the cake eventually saw the thread and that's nothing but shitty.

When we skim posts it's easy to overlook those underhanded sucker punches but they are so there. And so some of us take those folks to task just like you said--and we got scars to prove it too.

There are definitely people who get banned off here repeatedly--thank God--but unfortunately reincarnate themselves and you can totally hear their same ass-y 'voice' in their posts. They try & come up with a new identity--but you can read 'em like a newspaper that's been wrapped around week old fish.

phhfffft phffft phffft--good riddance (to them, the bad apples)

A morning show radio host in MY town started a movement called BeDifferent, find it here: http://bedifferentpact.com/ It's exactly about what we're talking about...it's the norm today to be negative and rude to each other and he's trying to change it. I know him personally and he's an awesome guy! I applaud his efforts and it's really catching on!

I hope your daughter is going to be ok and all goes well.

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One time I mentioned in a post that I thought you weren't going to respond to something because you did not post for a while. So I'm thinking you are correct here:

You certainly can have your own perception. But this amazes me. This site is kittens and lollipops compared to almost every other forum I know. In fact, I know lots of bakers who won't come here because they think it's too nice.

I think the bottom line is we're all just groups of people, no matter which site. And everyone can stay or go as they please. But I agree that you really can't make it be the site you want it to be. It is what it is. And personally, I overlook the "too nicey nicey" aspect, even though it makes my teeth itch sometimes, because the value here outweighs it.

Isn't that the truth! And, although the anonymity of the internet allows people to show their worst personality traits without consequence, common courtesy and civility have eroded to the point where I don't like to take part in some social organizations.

There's an afterschool program in my area that is very successful at keeping kids out of trouble. Their motto is: Work hard. Be nice. If only more adults lived by such advice!

I'm going to go bake a cake.....an Irish whiskey cake for Christmas eve dinner.....and maybe I'll have a couple of shots, too! Merry Christmas and a peaceful New Year to all. Have fun and be nice, people!!! [/b]

OMG your too cute! Thanks (and I won't write a blog post about any stalkings). Happy holidays.

Thanks Tiggy for the well-wishes for my daughter...Also, this is so true...

indydebi please do not take what I wrote the wrong way. I did not mean that someone actually wrote that about one of my cakes - In fact the opposite as I wrote I have found CC to be very helpful. Nor was I trying to incite anything. I was trying to show 2 extremes... nothing more. I didn't think it would be taken as though someone had written that specifically more as a "don't say xxx" say it nicely as "xxx". I'm sorry if it was taken wrong.

Again...I have seen it--and those they said it to have seen it and many others have seen it--and I called them on their ugliness.

I have seen more than one thread where many people piled on an unsuspecting caker worse than junior high it was. One example-If a caker said someone was fortunate to have a business I've seen that person fileted for not bowing down and recognizing the hard work --it was not fortune wah wah wah. Please.

I think it's pretty good fortune to live where you would be allowed to have a shop on your property. I think you're fortunate to have a business, fortunate in the sense of it being a blessing, a good thing. Saying something is fortunate does not mean there was no work involved.

Wealthy people are considered fortunate whether they worked hard for it or it was inherited.

One of the names Browniebatterer had before they were BB (then after that they were that Karmasomethingorother)--the pre-BB person said ugly ugly things to some folks so did BB, etc.

I put a generic thread out about it--I didn't give their names at that time--but it was two posters at that time who had said 'your cake sucks', or 'you suck' in so many words. And then those people started retaliating against me personally--very unpleasant. And every time browniekarmat reincarnates themself and they think they create a new identity--they don't. They are still just as obvious and obnoxious, no social skills--same unmistakable voice though.

You can say it ain't so all day long.

Friends write you condolence pm's.
I've written condolence pm's.
A lot of those posts get deleted too.

It's part of being on the world wide web.

Yes it does so too happen. It's one thing as a poster to hope it doesn't bite you and avoid it--that's smart.

But ditch the rose red colored glasses, Indy. Be indignant toward the jerks not the people like Fay who are offering credible positive suggestions/solutions.

That is your perogative, Tiggy2.

If I was feeding a fire my post would have read much differently.
Fay's original post that was quoted is actually sweet, fire extinguishy and thoughtful.

Clearly there's problems on here off and on like anywhere--saying it ain't so on the back of a newbie's pleasant helpful posting was something I wanted to weigh in on. Instead use that energy to help put down the loosers who rise up and cause trouble when the time comes.

But if you don't recognize or see the trouble and the trouble makers and go on to say it doesn't exist--I gave a couple for instances. Ugh uh been through too much on here to let it be said that it doesn't exist. pffhhhht

I mean just consider sheet cake haters--another good example.

Just say no to bashing.