You've Got To Be Kidding Me !! *venting** (Long)

Decorating By careylynn Updated 22 Oct 2010 , 11:25am by Karen421

careylynn Posted 20 Oct 2010 , 5:16pm
post #1 of 69

Ok, here's the story. I was asked by my mother in law to do a wedding cake for her good friend. Since it would be my first one, my MIL asked if I do it at cost, since she was giving it as a gift to the bride. Her thinking was also to give me experience...I agreed reluctantly. Big mistake....

So the wedding was Saturday. I gave the bride a gorgeous wedding cake, exactly what she wanted. As far as cake flavor, the bride left it up to me to choose. So I went simple (since it was my first wedding cake, I had enough to stress about, I wanted to make the baking process as simple as possible), white cake with lemon buttercream and chocolate cake with chocolate chip buttercream. The whole cake was then covered in white chocolate ganache and fondant. Everyone was in awe of the cake and amazed that it was my first (last upload on my pics, if you want to see). Everything went smoothly and I was very happy with the whole process. Until....

My MIL called me last night to "inform" me that my cake was too sweet and that she tried telling me to do a "less" sweet cake before hand (she wanted me to torte the thing with different fillings, but I told her no, because I was doing this for free and the bride told me she didn't care, so I wanted to opt for simple). She went on and on and on, 15 mins worth, of lecturing me on my cake/frosting choices and that I should just do a box mix because it's what people like. SERIOUSLY???????? You mean to tell me after I spent 35 hrs doing a FREE cake you are going to call me 3 days later to complain that the cake was too sweet??? Mind you, she hates sweets. So here I am in tears, feeling crappy and mad. I just can't believe she has the nerve to call me and complain like that. I called everyone today to ask their opinion on my cakes, and everyone has told me that they disagree with the "too sweet" comment. UGH...

I used the "a better white cake" recipe and the viva towel crusting buttercream with hi-ratio shortening. For the chocolate cake , I used the hersheys recipe on the back of the cocoa box, FYI.

Sorry for the long post, just venting. And upset. Lesson learned....never again will I do a free cake for family, especially a wedding cake.

68 replies
moralna Posted 20 Oct 2010 , 5:29pm
post #2 of 69

With all due respect, tell your MIL to go suck an egg. Your cake is absolutely beautiful!!!!

Kiddiekakes Posted 20 Oct 2010 , 5:29pm
post #3 of 69

I would have told your MIL to %#* off...It was basically a freebie so you're lucky I didn't charge full price...Next time it will be and I would have hung up....

yummy_in_my_tummy Posted 20 Oct 2010 , 5:35pm
post #4 of 69

First of all.... that cake is amazing. I put it in my favs when I was checking it out icon_smile.gif

Second of all.... I'm so sorry that happened to you! Some people don't realize how much time and effort - and heart & soul go into a cake like that! They think it's as easy as mixing a boxed mix and ta da, it pops out of the oven gorgeous and ready to go. I think sometimes family can be a lot more harsh because they're more comfortable with you so they feel they can say whatever they want.

Try not to let it bother you. I know that's hard to do, because she absolutely CRUSHED you, but If I've learned one thing while doing cakes, it's that you can't please everyone. If you had made the cake less sweet, someone would have said it wasn't sweet enough!

I think it was unkind, hurtful and discourteous for her to do what she did. Keep your chin up!

mareg Posted 20 Oct 2010 , 5:35pm
post #5 of 69

Your cake is beautiful!!!!! MIL can go complain elsewhere! Who eats a cake and dosen't want sweet anyway????? Don't listen to her ESP since you have talked to others with different opinions!!

daltonam Posted 20 Oct 2010 , 5:38pm
post #6 of 69

OH MY GOSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU DID THAT CAKE FOR FREE? First time I seen it it went right into my favs. It ROCKED! To your MIL **beep** to her. BTW--that cake/flavor filling WASN'T simple. Girl simple is plain jane buttercream, LOL!!!!


IGNORE HER! (now I have to call mine & talk cake with her, ughhhhhhh)

Spuddysmom Posted 20 Oct 2010 , 5:38pm
post #7 of 69

That cake is GORGEOUS!!!
Your mother-in-law must be a real peach.
The truly sad part of this is that your labor was free, but you agreed to that ahead of time and it certainly provided you experience and a lovely cake to add to your portfolio. Now, don't go around givin' away anymore free wedding cake, ok?
Some people do find white chocolate ganache very sweet, but personally I discount your MIL's opinion as she dislikes all sweets.
Is she always this critical/bossy, etc? Her 15 minute tirade is inexcusable; that being said, why are you allowing her to talk to you like that for 15 minutes? You can still be polite, if you have to have this relationship, and be strong. Do not allow ANYONE to treat you like that. You have a great deal of talent, believe in yourself, congratulate yourself for doing a wonderful job, learn all you can from this experience and learn to hang up the phone.

divinecc Posted 20 Oct 2010 , 5:44pm
post #8 of 69

Wow, the nerve! People don't understand how much work goes in to the cakes. This is one of the most beautiful cakes I have ever seen, seriously, if it was my cake I would care less what it tastes like! I would love to know how u did some of the flowers, for the most part I can tell how you did them but there are a few shapes I have never seen. Perfect!

dldbrou Posted 20 Oct 2010 , 5:45pm
post #9 of 69

Sounds like the Green Eyed Monster struck again. Plain and simple, she is jealous of your talent. She probably would have wanted all the rave reviews, instead they were directed at you.

In response to all her negative comments, just tell her that everyone you talked to said just the opposite and that next time she wants to impress her friend, she can make the cake herself since she is such an expert.

My daughter in law is just learning to decorate cakes and I know better than to critique her work. I just tell her it all comes with practice and patience. I am not all that happy with her instructor from Hobby Lobby. She is not really teaching the class the way I have heard they should be taught.

Also, since you did not charge for your time, tell your MIL that you get to choose flavors and recipes.

HobbyCaker Posted 20 Oct 2010 , 5:46pm
post #10 of 69

MIL is NUTS!!!! That cake is georgeous! As for too sweet, maybe for her taste! As for me, the sweeter the better, why even eat cake? OMG, I just wish my first wedding cake had been that beautiful,

leily Posted 20 Oct 2010 , 5:47pm
post #11 of 69

Bottom line is the bride was happy. It was the couples day, not your MIL. I know it's hard not to take it so personal, but not everyone likes sweets and it sounds like you already new your MIL didn't care for sweets.

Out of curiousity, Does your MIL actually know she got a deal? did you tell her how much the cake would cost if you did it for someone else, or if she went to another person? It probably won't shut her up, but maybe help nudge her in her place.

And i agree with daltonam - those cake flavor/fillings were not simple. Simple would have been just the cake with buttercream filling and covering.

Loucinda Posted 20 Oct 2010 , 6:04pm
post #12 of 69

I am with the "MIL is jealous of your talent" group. The cake is AMAZING! She obviously has issues with everyone adoring the work you did. Ignore her.

NerdyGirl Posted 20 Oct 2010 , 6:21pm
post #13 of 69

I don't know what it is with some MILs who have to pull crap like that. Is she often this way? Darn if you do, darn if you don't. Just promise 1. Not to listen to silly people who say that the cake is too sweet if they hate sweets already, 2. Never give a wedding cake away again, 3. Hang up the next time she starts ranting!

careylynn Posted 20 Oct 2010 , 6:24pm
post #14 of 69

Oh thank you everyone!!! You've made me feel better about this whole thing!!! To answer some questions why I didn't stick up for myself...we've had this same discussion a couple months ago when I did a cake for her work. I stuck for myself then, and she railroaded me with "hunny, I'm just trying to help you be successful". Blah blah blah.. I ALMOST hung up on her last night, but didn't because I knew it would of caused more harm than good. I just wanted the convo to be over with and not turn into a huge argument.
I do think it's jealousy. She made a comment to me half way through the cake about "being that perfect HAS to be stressful" icon_smile.gif I shook my head yes, and said it's worth it!!!
Oh, and yes, I made SURE she knew what I'd charge. I told her that I would'of PROFITED $500 on that cake. She didn't seem to care. SIGH*
Again, thanks for the nice comments, I appreciate it! icon_smile.gif

cakes47 Posted 20 Oct 2010 , 6:27pm
post #15 of 69

Don't ever doubt your work. You did a fabulous job and I'm sure
the cake tasted as awesome as it looked. As for that MIL ~
I can't say what I want to but I think you know what I want to say.
And I sure as hell wouldn't do another cake for HER!!!!

NerdyGirl Posted 20 Oct 2010 , 6:29pm
post #16 of 69

Amazing how "helpful" is generally the most hurtful. Passive agressive, or whatever you call it. Just remember that you're worth more than that, careylynn. I'm sure everyone that truly mattered loved the cake. It's gorgeous!

EmilysCakes Posted 20 Oct 2010 , 6:30pm
post #17 of 69

Just proves that monster-in-laws do exist. Wow, your MIL makes me feel better about mine!

cdgleason Posted 20 Oct 2010 , 6:41pm
post #18 of 69

First of all, that cake is as gorgeous as anything I have ever seen by prosessional bakers...
second..... A ~FREE~ cake... and someone is RUDE enough to criticize your choice in flavors and the sweetness..... NO WAY!! sounds like your MIL could use a refresher class on basic manners!!
In my opinion, if your MIL doesn't like sweets, she doesn't get a vote! She should have been so proud of you for such a beautiful cake that you produced for her friend! I'm sure everyone here would love to give you a big hug and tell you that YOU ARE AWESOME!! and your cake totally rocks!!
ps.... I made a free wedding cake, snowflake themed cake on my photos, and I NEVER recieved a thankyou note from the bride and groom!! Needless to say, I never offered up my services for a cake for their baby shower!! ~~

TexasSugar Posted 20 Oct 2010 , 6:45pm
post #19 of 69

Did you point out ot her that you did spend 35 hours doing her free cake so she could think gift it to someone? I would have.

Has she had your cakes before? If so, then she knew what she was getting. As far as telling you how you should have done it. I would have asked her why she didn't do it herself.

Followed up with a "please don't do me any favors," I'll find other ways to gain experince.

Does MIL like to complain about things? Is this the norm for her? If so, then don't even worry or think about it or consider what she has to say. If it isn't the norm for her, and you have talked to others that loved the cake, then I would say don't worry about it either.

mrsbriggs06 Posted 20 Oct 2010 , 6:57pm
post #20 of 69

the words i have for your MIL are not cake central safe.

there are no words for the absolute success of that cake. Great Job!

sari66 Posted 20 Oct 2010 , 7:25pm
post #21 of 69

First your cake is beautiful!! Second your MIL is a real peach icon_sad.gif if she doesn't like sweets then she should have just left the cake alone. Third let your haters be your motivators!! You may not think she's jealous of your work but if !she's being critical of your cakes then there is something there on her part. Never let anyone talk you that way even your MIL

sherrycanary62 Posted 20 Oct 2010 , 7:27pm
post #22 of 69

The lesson learned here.....

No More Freebie Cakes

ESPECIALLY FOR FAMILY!!!!!

Apti Posted 20 Oct 2010 , 7:30pm
post #23 of 69
Quote:
Originally Posted by yummy_in_my_tummy

Second of all.... I'm so sorry that happened to you! Some people don't realize how much time and effort - and heart & soul go into a cake like that! Try not to let it bother you. I know that's hard to do, because she absolutely CRUSHED you, but If I've learned one thing while doing cakes, it's that you can't please everyone. If you had made the cake less sweet, someone would have said it wasn't sweet enough!
I think it was unkind, hurtful and discourteous for her to do what she did. Keep your chin up!




Ditto. I also put in my favorites. So, look at it this way, you now have a superb, perfect, wedding cake in your portofolio. You have now learned early in your caking life what to expect from your MIL, so plan NOW what will be said in future whenever this subject comes up. Example: "I am so pleased the bride and her guests LOVED the cake. Had it not been provided at cost, she would never have been able to afford at $1000 cake."
(Then shut up and smile.)

careylynn Posted 20 Oct 2010 , 7:40pm
post #24 of 69
Quote:
Originally Posted by cdgleason

First of all, that cake is as gorgeous as anything I have ever seen by prosessional bakers...
second..... A ~FREE~ cake... and someone is RUDE enough to criticize your choice in flavors and the sweetness..... NO WAY!! sounds like your MIL could use a refresher class on basic manners!!
In my opinion, if your MIL doesn't like sweets, she doesn't get a vote! She should have been so proud of you for such a beautiful cake that you produced for her friend! I'm sure everyone here would love to give you a big hug and tell you that YOU ARE AWESOME!! and your cake totally rocks!!
ps.... I made a free wedding cake, snowflake themed cake on my photos, and I NEVER recieved a thankyou note from the bride and groom!! Needless to say, I never offered up my services for a cake for their baby shower!! ~~




100% agree on the lack of basic manners. It's typical for her. I mean, she'll stand behind ya and support ya, but not without her opinions being expressd first. As my husband puts it, no filter between her brain and her mouth icon_smile.gif

And, OMG, your snowflake cake is gorgeous!!! Beautiful! I can't believe they didn't thank you with a card. People can be so rude. I love your base on that cake too, how'd you do it?

careylynn Posted 20 Oct 2010 , 7:43pm
post #25 of 69
Quote:
Originally Posted by Apti



Ditto. I also put in my favorites. So, look at it this way, you now have a superb, perfect, wedding cake in your portofolio. You have now learned early in your caking life what to expect from your MIL, so plan NOW what will be said in future whenever this subject comes up. Example: "I am so pleased the bride and her guests LOVED the cake. Had it not been provided at cost, she would never have been able to afford at $1000 cake."
(Then shut up and smile.)




LOVE IT icon_smile.gif!!! lol

careylynn Posted 20 Oct 2010 , 7:46pm
post #26 of 69
Quote:
Originally Posted by divinecc

Wow, the nerve! People don't understand how much work goes in to the cakes. This is one of the most beautiful cakes I have ever seen, seriously, if it was my cake I would care less what it tastes like! I would love to know how u did some of the flowers, for the most part I can tell how you did them but there are a few shapes I have never seen. Perfect!




Thanks! I bought the cutters through globalsugarart.com. If you tell me which one, I can try to forward you the link of it icon_smile.gif

psmith Posted 20 Oct 2010 , 7:48pm
post #27 of 69

Your cake is awesome! It is so perfect! Your MIL is completely bonkers.

CNCS Posted 20 Oct 2010 , 7:58pm
post #28 of 69

So because you MIL doesnt like sweets,...no one else is allowed to?
Sounds just like my MIL.

linstead Posted 20 Oct 2010 , 8:05pm
post #29 of 69
Quote:
Originally Posted by Loucinda

I am with the "MIL is jealous of your talent" group. The cake is AMAZING! She obviously has issues with everyone adoring the work you did. Ignore her.




Just what I was thinking........she is envious of your talents. Obviously everyone else liked it so too bad. Sad though you'll probably have to put up with these comments for a long time to come.....

dadsdaughter Posted 20 Oct 2010 , 9:40pm
post #30 of 69

I'm so sorry to hear about what she put you through. How dare she! I'd love to view the cake, and read that you said it was your last pic posted. Being a newbie here-how do I find it? Thanks. thumbs_up.gif

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