Do You Worry A Lot? Are You Germaphobic? Ocd?

Lounge By Rylan Updated 6 Aug 2009 , 12:23pm by cylstrial

Rylan Posted 31 Jul 2009 , 2:34am
post #1 of 44

After discussing this subject in a cake related thread, I thought maybe I should make a separate thread about this.

I worry a lot. I always feel like my partner (soon to be husband) will leave me for someone skinnier. I also never take my dog to parks or walks because I am afraid some type of parasite will stick to him. I always worry that I might get some type of disease or illness.

I am also germaphobic. When I used to work in the medical field, I washed my hands so much until it felt like I had a sunburn. I don't touch door knobs in public restrooms or hospitals. I cannot sleep if the closet door is open. There are times when I repetatively check if the doors are locked. I also have to park my car perfectly straight and even. There are more but when do you think is the time to ask for professional help? It doesn't really affect my life because I have adapted to it but do you think it has been extreme? Is this normal?

How about you? What are your experiences?

43 replies
Cakepro Posted 31 Jul 2009 , 2:57am
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Yeah, it's time for you to see a shrink.

redpanda Posted 31 Jul 2009 , 4:10am
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I have some, but not all of those behaviors. My ds teases me about going back repeatedly to check the garage door. I now say out loud, "garage is closed" after checking, before pulling away from my driveway. Woe to anyone who talks to me when I am checking, because it means that I will have to circle back.

With regards to not touching bathroom fixtures and doorknobs with your bare hands, that is actually the current public health recommendation. (That's my story, and I'm sticking with it!)

Most people have "a smidgen" of various psych disorders. Not enough to even consider consultation with a psychologist, but enough to go, "hmmm" when reading articles and surveys.

Texas_Rose Posted 31 Jul 2009 , 4:36am
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Rylan, do you get enough sleep? I've had issues with checking that the doors are locked when I haven't been getting enough sleep...it's like my brain doesn't have time to rest and reset for the next day. I also used to have trouble when I didn't get days off, I worked more than a year with no day off and by the end it was really hard to remember what I had done on which day and keep track of it all and I would end up checking things over and over.

It sounds like seeing a doctor wouldn't be a bad idea...but some of the medicines they treat anxiety or other mental issues with are no fun to take, especially for a man...they can turn Mr. Happy into Mr. Limp. So you might try to treat yourself with herbal meds and see if that would help before you see a doc.

Rylan Posted 31 Jul 2009 , 6:17am
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Redpanda, I didn't know about the public health recommendation. Now I think I am pretty normal when it comes to that. I also keep checking the garage door well but not excessively.

Judi, I actually have irregular sleeping patterns. I never thought that it could be a link. I don't check the doors obsessively everyday but there are those times when I do--especially when I hear bad things from the news. I don't think all these things has dramatically changed my life. If my partner tells me that it's all going to be fine, I will feel better. Last week, I got the common cold and I was thinking it was swine flu (of course it isn't). Sometimes I have to call my partner to make me feel better if I had a cut because I will think it will get infected.

I will try your suggestions. Thanks.

Texas_Rose Posted 31 Jul 2009 , 6:30am
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You know how I got over having trouble sleeping when I hear bad things on the news (or more specifically in my case, read the police blotter for my complex and see that my neighbors have had break-ins)? My husband has worked nights for 8 years so I've had to get over being scared to be by myself at night. I bought a gun after someone tried to pry my front door open two years ago. My husband already had a gun but he has to take it to work, so I bought my own. Now if someone breaks in, at least if I end up on the news, it will be a castle law case and not something terrible happening to my kids.

KKC Posted 31 Jul 2009 , 6:58am
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Rylan, I am the same way when it comes to checking doors throughout the night...and also with the public bathrooms. Even in my bathroom I won't flush the toilet with my hands. I wash my hands like every 10 minutes to the point where my hands are always dry and rough. You are not alone!

I know that I am obsessive when it comes to my son...when he use to catch the bus to school...i'd call the school to make sure that he arrived. I just started taking him to school myself and walking him to his classroom. I'd try to call his teacher during lunch to make sure he eats his lunch (he's not a good eater)..and when I drop him off to school (if my hubby is not with me) I'd circle the school to make sure he didn't come back out or to check and see if there are any weird looking people hanging around the school. I have it bad..but with all the stories I hear in the news about these poor kids I can't help it!

TexasRose, I understand where you're coming from...my hubby works at night and I hate it. The good thing is that I have family that live on each side of me (next door, and across the street). But I still don't feel safe all the time. My hubby said that he's going to take me to the gun range to learn to shoot but I don't like the idea of a gun in the house with my son.

Sox-n-Pats Posted 31 Jul 2009 , 7:15am
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KKC- my kids are older (14 and 11) and I honestly don't know what my parents did without us kids having cell phones. My kids call when they get down the street to a friends house, or to my sisiter's house (9 houses down). My son will call when he gets to the bus stop, and when the bus gets there. He calls to let me know he is in the house when he gets home.

I had to take a sub job at a school last week and my son had a violin lesson- so we let him ride his bike. i made him call me when he left my house (my daughter then had to call me so I could hear her lock the door behind him). Then my son had to call me each time he was going to cross a street, or hit a place along the route I told him to call from (as he passed a school, the firestation, the starbucks....) that way I could track his riding, his speed and his safety. Then if he didn't check in, I knew roughly where he would be or should have been. Then he called me when he arrived.

They oblige me- because frankly if they don't then they don't get to go anywhere. My son is going into 9th grade and yet I still worry.

On the OCD note- my closet is totally organized, my shirts all go the same way, they are grouped by colors, I have my pantry in ABC order within each group of foods (canned, cooking, baking, snacks, cereals....) I have those plastic bins in all my drawers with everything grouped by size and use within each drawer. Everything has to have a place. If I can't find something I will shoot flames from my ears and sparks from my eyes.

AND...
I can tell if someone has moved something even a millimeter out of place- from furniture to plates in the pantry. I can't concentrate on anything until everything is clean and organized.

Texas_Rose Posted 31 Jul 2009 , 7:15am
post #9 of 44

KKC, I didn't want a gun in the house either. Then one night, my birds woke me up because they were screaming, which they don't do unless they hear a weird noise in the dark. I went out to the living room and I could hear metal scraping and wood cracking at the front door. I didn't have a phone so I couldn't call the cops so I started taking books from my bookcase and throwing them at the front door. My little girl wanders at night and was sleeping on the couch. I was too scared to look out the window until it had been quiet for a while, and then there was no one there but the doorframe was cracked in half and there were gouge marks all over the side of the door.

So when I got my tax refund, I bought a gun. I've let the kids look at it and hold it so they know it's nothing special (when it was unloaded of course). I keep the gun and the magazines stored apart from each other, both where I can get to them in a hurry and both out of reach of the kids. I've gone to the range with my husband but that's not great because I want to fire about 10 shots and then I'm done and want to go, but he goes through boxes of bullets (he's willing to use the cheap ones in his gun) and he thinks I should reload his magazines while he shoots...not fun.

Sorry to hijack your thread, Rylan, you can have it back now icon_biggrin.gif

KKC Posted 31 Jul 2009 , 7:29am
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Oh and thats another thing...I don't let my son sleep in the living room and he sleeps with me because I just can't sleep if he's not next to me.

TexasRose..i'm going to sound like a complete amateur (sp?) when I ask..what are magazines? I mean I'm sure it has something to do with the gun but I'm clueless!

Texas_Rose Posted 31 Jul 2009 , 7:39am
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LOL...everyone in the house would sleep on my couch if I let them. It's a big leather sectional and we all just lie around on it whenever we can.

The magazine is the part that holds the bullets on a semi-automatic. Have you seen in the movies when they run out of bullets and they drop a black rectangle from the grip of the gun, take another one from the pocket or wherever and push it into the bottom of the gun. That's the difference between a semi-auto and a revolver. The revolver holds 6 rounds and the round part above the barrel flips sideways to load it. The semi-auto holds more rounds usually...for example the gun I have is a 9mm and it holds 15 rounds plus one in the chamber. So if I ever had to use it, I would have that many chances to hit (or scare away) the bad guy.

KKC Posted 31 Jul 2009 , 7:43am
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Oohh..okay I gotcha! Wow you know your stuff girl lol!

Rylan Posted 31 Jul 2009 , 2:42pm
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Wow, I didn't know that there are a few people like me in here.

Judi, that is exactly what I was talking about. When I heard that a few people had broken in on my left and right neighbors, I completely got scared. From now on, I don't check the locks as much as before (but still do, sometimes)until we had set up and alarm system (now I check the alarm a lot). I don't think I'd be able to touch a gun because I'm afraid I might accidentaly use it wrong.

KKC, that is one reason why I feel that it is ok that I am not able to bear a child because if I did, I'd probably worry so much just like you. I worry of my love ones too, making sure my partner calls me before work and after work. I sometimes even call while he's working--but thats a different story because I just do that when I am bored or I need comfort. Oh yes, that's what I mean by the hands. It gets so dry. I wash my hands everytime I touch eggs.

Sox-n-Pats, again, same situation as KKC. Parent's make sure that children gets there safe. Atleast they are still on the younger side because nowadays, more and more kids as young as 13 gets pregnant (in my area, yes). As for the OCD note, I also cannot concentrate until everything is clean. I can't even start baking when the kitchen is messy.

Anyone, feel free to hijack this thread and share your own experiences. I made this thread because I wanted to see if there are more people out there who shares the same things.

The question is, do you all wish you didn't have to worry as much or is it an advantage to protect yourself/love ones? Do you wish you didn't have some sort of OCD?

dailey Posted 31 Jul 2009 , 3:08pm
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i'm a*big* worrier too! even more so now that i have kids...i think its very natural as my friends are all the same way. medication should always be a last resort, and honestly, you don't sound like you are in need of them.

the one thing that i do often is pray which helps calm me tremedously : )

yellobutterfly Posted 31 Jul 2009 , 3:12pm
post #15 of 44
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sox-n-Pats


On the OCD note- my closet is totally organized, my shirts all go the same way, they are grouped by colors, I have my pantry in ABC order within each group of foods (canned, cooking, baking, snacks, cereals....) I have those plastic bins in all my drawers with everything grouped by size and use within each drawer. Everything has to have a place. If I can't find something I will shoot flames from my ears and sparks from my eyes.

AND...
I can tell if someone has moved something even a millimeter out of place- from furniture to plates in the pantry. I can't concentrate on anything until everything is clean and organized.




sox-n-pats - my pantry needs your help
icon_wink.gif

Rylan Posted 31 Jul 2009 , 4:10pm
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Dailey, atleast I now know that it isn't uncommon, thanks. Maybe my case isn't really that severe

I agree with you, I feel calmer when I pray.

susanmm23 Posted 31 Jul 2009 , 5:18pm
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i worry a lot as well. ..... i have been taking medication for it for almost a year and was seeing a therapist. she helped me to understand my worries and fears. it was very helpful to put my fears into groups of rational and irrational it took a while but the irrational ones slowly stopped bothering me altogether.

susanmm23 Posted 31 Jul 2009 , 5:20pm
post #18 of 44

i worry a lot as well. ..... i have been taking medication for it for almost a year and was seeing a therapist. she helped me to understand my worries and fears. it was very helpful to put my fears into groups of rational and irrational it took a while but the irrational ones slowly stopped bothering me altogether.

Doug Posted 31 Jul 2009 , 7:02pm
post #19 of 44

all are OCD about somethings and totally lah-dee-dah about others.

to wit -- my shirts and pants must be in color and style order when hung in the closet.

everything else -- open the drawer & stuff it in praying drawer will shut. Fold sheets? - never! the wrinkles stretch out just fine when put on bed, thank you.

In the den - how high can you pile? -- but that calendar is color coded with a unique color for every category of activity and my collection of pens of many colors are in color order!

bookcases and CD shelve -- general groups (that shelf Broadway show tunes, this classical, over here Christmas; that book case theatre, this one English, etc.) but books or CDs in alpha order -- dream on!

---

as for sanitation - love all those studies that continue to show we ARE TOO germophobic. That children raised in very clean homes have greater risk of asthma and allergies. That dirt, dogs, other hairy pets, (ok cats too if you insist) and dust bunnies are actually healthy for us and young children by helping to build the immune system.

so there live by mom's and my and sister's motto: clean enough to be healthy, dirty enough to be home.

surprisingly if you're reading this, studies show your sitting at one of the DIRTIEST places in your house -- that's right the desk -- even dirtier than what we think is the dirtiest: the toilet seat!

dirt you are, to dirt you will return -- so why put up such a fight with it while living?????

----

security -- no lock invented someone can't overcome. do what I can and then que sera sera.

my little fear -- will lock myself in SO well, that if house catches fire can't unlock myself out!

----

now as for leaving for someone thinner? -- well aren't we all worried about "wandering eye" syndrome. No guarantees. Just don't get "jealous" and obsessive as that could actually create the very result you don't want...

the old -- hold on to what you love lightly (so tired of the bar of wet soap analogy, even if it is a good metaphor)

right now focus on the NOW - that love is there enough to commit (OH NO - the "C" word!) to being wedded.

Rylan Posted 31 Jul 2009 , 7:22pm
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Susan, I think I need to manage separating the rational and irrational fears as well.

Doug, we are so alike. I may be organized when it comes to my closet but I can easily stuff some of my clothes in a drawer with no problems. If I never met my partner, I would probably be dating you -- well, if you agreed (hehe).

In case my partner is spying and reading this: Victor, I said, "if I never met you". You know I love you and you know how loyal I am to you. I will never cheat on you and definitely not flirting with Doug.

Doug Posted 31 Jul 2009 , 7:54pm
post #21 of 44
Quote:
Originally Posted by RylanTy

Susan, I think I need to manage separating the rational and irrational fears as well.

Doug, we are so alike. I may be organized when it comes to my closet but I can easily stuff some of my clothes in a drawer with no problems. If I never met my partner, I would probably be dating you -- well, if you agreed (hehe).

In case my partner is spying and reading this: Victor, I said, "if I never met you". You know I love you and you know how loyal I am to you. I will never cheat on you and definitely not flirting with Doug.




who (if I'm guessing correctly) is way MORE than old enough to be your DAD! if not even grandpa! (happy happy joy joy got the senior discount today at Golden Corral without even asking or showing an AARP card!)

eeeeeeewwwwww!

icon_rolleyes.gif

tamarawagner99 Posted 31 Jul 2009 , 7:55pm
post #22 of 44
Quote:
Originally Posted by RylanTy

Wow, I didn't know that there are a few people like me in here.




There are probably a lot more than just a few, Rylan. I wouldn't "worry" so much about it icon_lol.gif . Ha ha.

No, seriously, what you do/experience sounds exactly like my husband. He is definitely a worrier about his health - he doesn't feel sick or hurt often but boy when he does, he thinks it's a heart attack, cancer, swine flu, etc. He says so jokingly, of course, but he never fails to say it, so I know what that he's slightly worried.

He checks the locks, most of the time, twice before we leave. If we're getting in the car to leave for more than a few hours, he never fails to ask me if I unplugged my curling iron and the clothes iron. When I tell them I haven't used one in months and the other in more than a week, he repeats the question but louder. He just wants to hear that everything's unplugged and the house won't catch on fire while we're gone.

I feel like he and I both are a bit OCD about a lot of things, but I generally don't think twice about the things that worry him. And the things that bother me to no end, he acts like I need to get over myself. We're a lovely couple that way... icon_rolleyes.gif I'd like to think that we have rubbed off on each other enough to bring each other to a little more of an even keel over most things. Hopefully your fiance can do that for you, and you for him!

[/i]

Sox-n-Pats Posted 31 Jul 2009 , 8:29pm
post #23 of 44
Quote:
Originally Posted by Doug

all are OCD about somethings and totally lah-dee-dah about others.

to wit -- my shirts and pants must be in color and style order when hung in the closet.

everything else -- open the drawer & stuff it in praying drawer will shut. Fold sheets? - never! the wrinkles stretch out just fine when put on bed, thank you.

In the den - how high can you pile? -- but that calendar is color coded with a unique color for every category of activity and my collection of pens of many colors are in color order!




OMG! I'd go nuts. My drawers have baskets in them and my stuff is all separated. My T-shirts are folded and in nice neat piles (like a 4-square)- I even have 2 different drawers of T's- one for just playing around at home and one drawer of my cute ones I could wear to work if I was in a hurry. Even my dress socks and my cotton socks are separated!

My sheets are folded and in baskets in the closet- twin, king, calking, top, fitted, pillow cases. They even have labels so my husband knows wich sheets to put on our bed without going through the whole nice neat folded stacks.

My laundry room has 4 tall laundry baskets- one for towels, sheets and napkins (we use cloth every day), one for darks, one for whites, and one for colors. We don't keep dirty laundry in our rooms or bathrooms because with a tween and a teen, it's just too stinky- so laundry is sorted each night when they get into jammies! My detergents are all in plastic baskets along with other laundry items, I use shelf separaters to help keep supplies (toilet paper, papertowels, baggies, foils, etc) in their space.

My junk drawer even has plastic bins to divided pens, markers, pencils, colored pencils, glues, cards and misc.

Charger cords aren't allowed to be laying around or plugged in. Once something is charged, the cord gets unplugged and put in one of various baskets or drawers. I hate cords all over the place!

That's just inside my house- you should see my garages!!!!

(Yes, I know I'm completely nuts) icon_biggrin.gif

Doug Posted 31 Jul 2009 , 9:00pm
post #24 of 44

Sox-in-Pats -- have you considered working as a professional organizer?

There are those who would pay for you to work your "magic."

----

Now if I wanted to put you in total cardiac arrest I could post a pic of my laundry pile, but, I'll be nice!

---
oh, I do an "unforgiveable" supposedly -- I HANG my good t-shirts and polo shirts. Fold? no!

Rylan Posted 31 Jul 2009 , 9:14pm
post #25 of 44

Doug, I am not as young as you thought but I look and sound younger that what I am. Haven't you heard of the saying "the older, the better"?

Tamara, your husband sounds like me and you are exactly like my fiance. He comforts me and makes sure I don't get stressed out over little things. I'm pretty sure your husband will go nuts without you.

Sox-n-Pats, I hate cords as well, especially the back of a computer. I like everything hidden.

tamarawagner99 Posted 31 Jul 2009 , 11:13pm
post #26 of 44
Quote:
Originally Posted by MsRylan

Doug, I am not as young as you thought but I look and sound younger that what I am. Haven't you heard of the saying "the older, the better"?

Tamara, your husband sounds like me and you are exactly like my fiance. He comforts me and makes sure I don't get stressed out over little things. I'm pretty sure your husband will go nuts without you.

Sox-n-Pats, I hate cords as well, especially the back of a computer. I like everything hidden.




Well, if it's any consolation and indication as to the security of your relationship, I would go crazy without HIM. He seriously, he keeps my sanity in check.

Sox-n-Pats Posted 31 Jul 2009 , 11:46pm
post #27 of 44
Quote:
Originally Posted by Doug

Sox-in-Pats -- have you considered working as a professional organizer?

There are those who would pay for you to work your "magic."

----

Now if I wanted to put you in total cardiac arrest I could post a pic of my laundry pile, but, I'll be nice!

---
oh, I do an "unforgiveable" supposedly -- I HANG my good t-shirts and polo shirts. Fold? no!





HaHaHaHaHa!!

I have considered it before. And quickly got it right out of my head. I spent an immense amount of time helping my sister with her new place once. In a matter of days, it was totally disorganized and she was complaining. Never again. People think that just because you organize them, that everything will magically stay that way. I have friends who say- "My house doesn't stay neat". Really? It's your houses fault nothing gets put away correctly???

Your laundry couldn't even compare to my husband's closet or his "pile" by his side of the bed. I've threatened to sleep on the couch before because his sloppiness affects my abilty to sleep well.

Oh- and I too have some T'shirts that are hung up- not many, but a few.

Rylan- I take my kid to violin and come home to find you changed your screen name!! Goodness gracious. I like the MsRylan though. I never could figure out why posters would think you were a guy! icon_eek.gif

Rylan Posted 31 Jul 2009 , 11:55pm
post #28 of 44

Sox-n-Pats, I was just checking it out if it works to change the name and when I was trying to go back with RylanTy, I couldn't. Now all I can use is Rylan.

I'm a masculine woman and no, I am not a bodybuilder.

Jen80 Posted 1 Aug 2009 , 12:00am
post #29 of 44

There are so many things that people have said here that relate to me.
Especially about having children. I worry so much about them that it makes me sick to my stomach.

I have to do things in order otherwise I feel it just isn't right.

If my house is a mess I can't think straight and I get confused and angry.

A place for everthing and everything in its place.

My before bed routine: Check doors, check windows, check iron, check oven, check fireplace, check plugs are out, check lights are switched off properly (I have a fear that a fire will start if they aren't clicked all the way off even though it's probably an unwarranted fear). I do all of this at least three times over and if I get interrupted I have to start all over again.

I was getting so bad that I was sure that I was on the way to a nervous breakdown, so I started to change my lifestyle.

I made myself realise that there are some things that I could control and some things that I couldn't. So I kept doing the things that I new would make me feel safe that I could control and then just stopped worrying about the things that I knew that I couldn't.

I stopped watching and listening to the news.
I stopped watching anything that would bring me any kind of fear.
And when I was scared about things that I couldn't control I made myself think about why the fear was not rational.

As for worrying about your partner leaving you: If he's that type of person you don't need him anyway. But to me he sounds as though he is a nice person and is very supportive, so I don't really think you have anything to worry about.

My DH would never leave me for somebody skinnier. He gets worried when I start losing weight because I'm sure he thinks I'm going to leave him. Ha Ha! Actually it's pretty annoying because I do need to lose weight but everytime I start shedding a few kilos/pounds he starts getting sooky. LOL!!!

Jen80 Posted 1 Aug 2009 , 12:12am
post #30 of 44
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jen80

If he's that type of person you don't need him anyway.





Not trying to insult or offend anyone here. That would be my rational thought to make myself stop worrying about it.

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