I'm Being Stupid!

Decorating By nikki72905 Updated 14 Mar 2009 , 2:29am by kansaslaura

nikki72905 Posted 7 Mar 2009 , 8:22pm
post #1 of 17

Hi Everyone.
I am being so stupid here, My mother in law is getting married (in April) she is having the reception at a local restaurant (no biggy) However, she asked me to do the flowers (no problem - I have them almost done already) But what I really wanted to do was the cake.... My husband said, just tell her you wanted to do the cake. But I don't feel right, I took her pictures etc. and said do you have the cake taken care of -- She said they will make something at the restaurant. I said it will probably just be a sheet cake, she said, thats ok, they will probably go above and beyond for us. (So I just let it go) My mother in law and her "fiance" are Regulars at this resaurant, but I would like to make her cake -- I just need to get over it LOL But I told my Dh that I was thinking about going to the restaurant and telling them I will do the cake, they don't have to. But he just looked at me. I'll probably just let it go -- I am not mad or anything - I just haven't baked a cake in FOREVER - because I am not allowed to eat cake, icing etc. anymore - and I have never made a wedding cake. If you look in my pictures you'll see the one that I drew up, (and two become one) ... Oh well... I guess she will have a sheet cake for her reception. She doesn't care, why should I.

16 replies
Caths_Cakes Posted 7 Mar 2009 , 8:34pm
post #2 of 17

Why dont you actually speak to her about this? tell her you would be more than honoured to do this as there wedding gift? im sure if you sat down and explained how you feel about it, she would give you teh chance. If not, dont worry about it, im sure youll find a reason to do another cake soon

mbelgard Posted 7 Mar 2009 , 8:34pm
post #3 of 17

Your MIL might not have the option to ask you to do her cake.

You didn't say if you are legally selling cakes. Depending on laws where you live that might be a problem for the venue. Some places don't allow you to bring in outside food no matter what the state laws are because they are buisnesses trying to make money.

I know you're disappointed but maybe you could make a fancy bridal shower cake or next year make them a tiered anniversary cake that resembles a wedding cake.

tripleD Posted 7 Mar 2009 , 8:36pm
post #4 of 17

If you get along with her like I do mine. I would like to do something special. I would go to this restaraunt and ask if they have something in mind.. most of the time they don't do cakes they would just go and order a small something from a bakery anyway.

If it means something to you go ask. In the end I think she would really
like it.

I make cakes for a small home style restaurant and they will call and order small cakes for a small wedding party 10-15 people. they always say just do a sheet. I always try to do a small tier. The brides always like the thoughtfulness.

so go ask you know you want to...

shelly-101 Posted 7 Mar 2009 , 8:41pm
post #5 of 17

I would just talk to her, maybe she feels bad asking you to make the cake since you cant eat them any more. I know for me it is really hard to make a cake and not sample the cake, iceing, ect. I know since i have been making cakes wich has only been about a year or so I have gaind like 15lbs.......lol....

patticakesnc Posted 7 Mar 2009 , 8:42pm
post #6 of 17

I was thinking the same thing. Most places around here do not allow outstide food, even a wedding cake unless it is from a lisc. bakery.

kakeladi Posted 7 Mar 2009 , 9:46pm
post #7 of 17

As was mentioned if you are not legal it might not be an option but I would approach the restaurant - certainly can't hurt.

stephaniescakenj Posted 8 Mar 2009 , 12:58am
post #8 of 17

Yea I was devastated when my cousin had her baby shower. The venue wouldn't allow any outside food and they got her the most awful cake ever from a grocery store. we couldn't even eat it, it had more frosting than cake and was just sickenly sweet. I would make it perfectly clear to your MIL that you would be honored to make the cake and she might explain her reluctance at that point.

paulstonia Posted 8 Mar 2009 , 1:16am
post #9 of 17

I would tell her you would love to do it as a wedding gift. She would probably be touched. I looked at your sketch, and love it! I'm sure it would be a beautiful cake.

nikki72905 Posted 8 Mar 2009 , 12:34pm
post #10 of 17

Thank you for all the comments. You can bring outside food into this restaraunt. It is just a small family restaraunt, and they have brought in food before. But I think I will go to the resaraunt, and see what's up. I got the flowers done last night ... so I will have plenty of time to work on the cake, if that is the way things go, if not, I am not worrying about it.

Happy Cake Days to all!


mbelgard Posted 8 Mar 2009 , 4:56pm
post #11 of 17
Originally Posted by nikki72905

But I think I will go to the resaraunt, and see what's up.

I would NOT do this. It would be going behind the bride's back and it's her right to plan her wedding as she sees fit. It might have hurt your feelings some not to have been asked but I'd bet even if you just talk to them she'll hear about it.

Since you're married put yourself in her place and ask yourself how you would have felt to have a family member go behind your back to override part of your wedding plans.

You might be able to make a better cake but that doesn't give you the right to do this to any bride.

nikki72905 Posted 8 Mar 2009 , 6:32pm
post #12 of 17

I didn't think of it that way. I thought it would be a surprise for her... It's not that big of a deal.... My MIL doesn't care what her cake looks like, so I probably wont do anything anyway...

kansaslaura Posted 9 Mar 2009 , 4:41am
post #13 of 17

Your MIL actually may not care and didn't want to bother you. Quite honestly most people don't understand us "cakies" Tell her you'd love to do this for her, to be a part of her special day. She may feel that the flowers are enough to ask of you and feels like you don't need another thing to take care of.

Open, honest communication will take care of all your doubts!

nikki72905 Posted 10 Mar 2009 , 10:47pm
post #14 of 17

Spoke to my MIL and she didn't want me to go "to all the trouble" -- I of course told her "I would love to do it"

So I am dong her cake... Yeah!!! I can't wait to get started!

Thanks to all those who replied and encouraged me to talk to her!

paulstonia Posted 11 Mar 2009 , 12:46am
post #15 of 17

Glad to hear you're doing the cake. I know I get my feelings hurt too if family doesn't ask me to do the cake for their special events. Don't forget to post a picture, your sketch is great and I want to see the real thing icon_smile.gif

SpoonfulofSugar Posted 11 Mar 2009 , 1:08am
post #16 of 17

so glad your doing the cake and I love the sketch....before I read the whole thread I was thinking she probably doesn't want her to go to any trouble....my family does not ask me usually b/c they think it's trouble....hmmm no, this is what I love and more than anything love doing for family

kansaslaura Posted 14 Mar 2009 , 2:29am
post #17 of 17

I'm glad it all worked out! Can't wait to see the pictures of the cake!

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