sarahnichole975,
That email you wrote to her was professional, straight forward and left no room for her own interpretations to be made.
You did awesome and should stand proud.

I completely understand the view of the bride. They come to you with the trust that you can help them figure out what they want in a cake and then deliver it. I have no problem answering questions.. I do it several times a day. I have no problem if someone calls me asking about this or that and would this be a good fit or not. I try to cater to my brides (and all customers) when I can. BUT.. if you can't show me that you are comitted to me as a baker.. I don't have the luxury of helping you through your turmoil about your cake only for you to decide to go up the road because they are cheaper or what-not. I think until that happens to you you can't really understand. I wasted a load of time with this one woman only to have her thank me and go else where.. sketches.. changes.. discussions about what would work.. listening to her ramble.. reading countless e-mails and replying to them.. that's HOURS of my time that I could have spent doing something more productive. So until you are officially on my books.. you get the bare minimum (which isn't too bare when it comes to me). And please don't read this thinking I am ranting.. I am not. Just giving the other side of the coin so maybe it will be easier to understand where at least I am coming from. I am very customer service oriented. I always make time for my customers.. but until you are officially a customer.. I can't afford to invest the amount of time Nikki has in this woman. She did have a meeting with her.. a meeting that took so long her fiance was lying on Nikkis couch with their child.. I think that is more than sufficient for her to have decided that she either will or won't go with her. And then to say she gave her design away.. I have been doing this long enough to where I can smell a bridezilla.. and I think I smell one. I wish I had listened to my inner baker more than a few times.. and she is always right (the bitch). I wish I could be that good.

I think your response to her was very professional, firm, but not harsh. Whether she meant to be insulting or accusatory, I think it's perfectly appropriate to let her know that's how it comes across.

My take on the situation is that there are two problems her (1) She has no clue what she wants whatsoever, and is wasting both of your time looking over and discussing designs that should be obvious to her are way out of her size and price range, and (2) She is very naive her expectations of originality and what is "her" design. Unless she had planned it out and sketched it herself prior to meeting with you, it's not "her" design. It is YOUR design for her cake, and you are free to use it on as many cakes as you want! Silly girl, parents have turned her into a spoiled, pampered princess who thinks she's more special than any other bride. I've never had a client express concern about whether anyone had or will have a design similar to theirs. They never end up exactly the same anyway, different sizes, flowers, colors, etc.

I would have set her straight on the design issue right away, and would not spend another minute with her unless she had the deposit in hand, and had figured out exactly what her budget was.

Honestly from a budget minded comsumer side it sounds like she wants to have everything ironed out before committing to putting down a deposit... I almost wonder if she hasn't been shopping around and is compairing apples to oranges. BTW I like all of your apples Your cakes pics are proof it should be nothing to have faith in you to do a wonderful job!

be the gingerbread man, run, run as fast as you can!

bride sounds like a drama queen, you don't need the headache

Well, I realize sarahnichole has sent her email, and I wish her all the best!

A little off-topic...but I just thought I'd share an experience I had, when DH and I were customers for a custom kitchen. We first went to a local cabinet shop, met the with designer, looked through books, and asked questions. We received a free plan, which we got to look at, but not take home. Then, were were told we could think about it, and the quote was good for 1 year. If we wanted another sketch, we'd have to pay 10% down. All questions were free. All this was in writing, and explained to us as well.

So, we did think about it. We got a sketch from a box-store place (think orange) which let us take the sketch home. We kept getting a different designer when we called with a few questions, and the sketch we got to take home wasn't drawn to the correct dimensions.

We thought about it some more, and decided to go with the custom place. At first, we were a little nervous about that 10%, but we soon realized that the designer at the custom place gave us great service and attention. She never bad-mouthed the "orange place," and we saw she took her job seriously.

We ended up paying more, and we did have to commit to them to get "more" time from her, but we were glad we did. And the kitchen is really great -- made locally. We had one small problem which they fixed that day.

I found my kitchen-buying model a very helpful one for my cake business....I'd just thought I'd share.

No meanness meant towards anyone. Peace all!

I think the response to the bride was great. Whether or not the bride intended to be rude, insulting, or whatever doesn't give her the right to take up so much of your time waffling back and forth deciding on a design.

I also think you did the right thing by leaving her w/ an opportunity to set another appointment. But I hope in doing so, that when you talk (by phone this time preferably), that everything is settled w/ regards to getting a deposit - otherwise you just need to be booked or decline doing the cake altogether. You yourself said you were too busy to be dealing w/ this. I agree!

The saying "time is money" is actually true, especially in the very time-consuming custom cake business - don't give her any more of it without some type of firm monetary committment on her part.

Good luck on this, I'm interested in hearing what happens.

Hey Nikki,

I thought your response was really nice and polite and firm and everything. But....JMO.... I wouldnt have written it. I think this probably should have been worked out in person the next time she would have seen you in September. I say this because any misunderstanding or negative feelings on both of your sides could have been resolved by seeing your intentions face-to-face. It is SO hard to read someone's feelings by email. Things get said the wrong way very easily. Words can be taken out of context or taken with negative connotations.

Also, JMO you didnt need to explain all of that to her. She doesnt deserve it I think. I would have said something short and sweet and not explain yourself. You don't have to explain yourself, you were fully in the right and had no obligation to defend your cake designs. Again, JMO

I am sure your response will do the trick though. I applaud you for considering her and I do think she sounds like a PIA if she has met with you twice and has not made a decision about design and paid a deposit.

All of this and you still have no deposit? I NEVER discuss any details with a bride until I have a contract and deposit in place...How do you know she isn't taking your ideas and giving them to her aunt Millie to make her a free cake? Or another cake designer?

I agree, go with your gut..or charge her a huge amount of money that it will be worth it, or she will run herself...
and make sure it is paid in full before you even crack an egg..

omg that dog is gonna give me nightmares!! crypt keeper for sure!! i think you were being very tactful but firm in your email, you let her know your are not "exclusive" to her and that perhaps it would be better to go with someone else if that is what she is looking for (wouldn't say that i'm on a budget if that's the case). i would also have said that a deposit would be required BEFORE you spend anymore time in meetings with her-time wasted whether decorating/doing the cake or not is still time wasted (and not paid for) or maybe have a fee for consultations after a certain amount? everyone's time is valuable, hers and yours and maybe if she had to pay for the consult. maybe she would be better prepared jmo

Okay my lil support group!

The bride and I have been communicating, and it's all worked out. (Don't we all love a happy ending!) She was apologetic and said that she did not mean for her email to come off the way it did. She was very reasonable in understanding what my accomodations could be in her "original" design. She was very nice in her further communications with me. AND the deposit is in the mail. Hopefully, it all works out well from here. She was very adamant about wanting ME to do her cakes. And we've agreed that communicating problems through email can be trouble, as, as many of you have said and I do agree, tone is often not conveyed in writing.

So be at peace all, the crypt keeper dog has been put to rest for the time being. And Theresa, I still am thankful for the slap! I'm sure my email was just firm enough without saying "NO CAKE FOR YOU!" to let her know what reasonable expectations were. I'll call on you again if I ever need another one! I'm so mild mannered, I'm sure I will...

Atta Girl! I'm glad everything worked out, and that you expressed yourself to her. Now, keep smiling that angelic smile, but from now on, give your customers that strictly business personality.

I had good news today, too! Way OT, but it will tell you how much of a hard-ass I am.

I bought a set of china dinnerware from a local dept store. They shipped it to my home. 2 pieces were missing, 2 were broken. 5 weeks later, 4 telephone calls later, and no replacement pieces. On Monday, call number 5 was to the store president's office. I spoke with his secretary. She took all the information and passed it onto him. I got a telephone call today - the pieces are on their way.

I don't waste too much time with the middle man anymore. If I can't get satisfaction, I go right to the top and work my way back down. I'm a call-center nightmare, and there's a telecommunications corporation head office where the people say "Oh, No, Not Her Again!?!"

Bi---? Yes, but I'm a bi--- with all the pieces to her china set!

Theresa

Isn't it funny when a guy does stuff like this in business, he is considered a good businessman? But when a woman does the same, she is considered a royal b-----?

Good for you, PlayingWithSuger, you were a good businessperson! You held firm with your business practices and policies, and your client realized it!

Oops, looking at the wrong names - I meant to type good for you Sarahnichole!!

And good for you Playingwithsugar, for getting your china!!

you did great girl, I am so thrilled she chilled a bit and all is well. At least now none of her friends or anyone else will come to you thinking your a pushover and she'll think a little more before writing emails that can be misconstrued as she sounds like she has other wedding stuff to arrange for too. Lesson learned by all and all is well.....now let's make a cake!!!!!!!

Glad all the turmoil has come to a end. Theresa
knows her stuff. The bride needed a push and the
letter was it. I've learned in this business that I won't be pushed around. I've taken classes with some of the best in Ny and heard their perspective on dealing witch customers. Don't let them run you!

So glad it's all working out!

When I read your email, I was sitting here thinking, "YES!!!!!!!!!!!! THat' how to do it!" It was firm, polite, and to the point. I'm watching too many news shows, Dr. Phil shows, etal, on the subject of "kids today" and how they are being raised thinking they ARE a little princess who deserves everything she wants, and being polite and considerate to the vendor is unheard of.

This is business and you handled it in a pure business manner. I found the bride at least on the verge of being rude and inconsiderate and you let her know up front that her "potential" attitude was not going to be tolerated.

I get a bit confused on the "I'm not talking to you until I get a non-refundable deposit from you" stance. I can't imagine how I can talk to a bride about her wedding cake without TALKING to the bride about her WEDDING cake. I can't imagine saying, "well, yeah, I have an idea about how to do this cake, but I can't tell you until you give me money on blind faith ... and by the way, if you don't like my idea, you don't get your money back." When I send a quote to the bride the next day, it has everything she needs to know about her cake/catering. When they email me to book me, after they look over the quote, we don't ever have to meet or talk again .... everything is done.

I definitely talk to brides with or without a deposit. But after out initital consult and tasting.. if you haven't decided if you can trust me enough to invest in our working relationship.. I don't invest any further either. I mean I am not rude.. I will field questions, but I am not going to send sketches or spend loads of time making you happy unless I know if it is going to be good for me too.

So much of my business is handled through emails and phone calls. I've had brides I don't even meet because we do all of our discussions this way. Most of them have had my cake at a function already, so they don't feel the need to do a tasting, even though I never mind doing one. And typically I wait until we have the design ironed out before we do a deposit. Most brides have a real good idea of what they want to begin with. But in this case where she's having a hard time deciding what exactly she wants, I'm glad to have the deposit on the way, or at least a partial deposit anyway. I try to be easy to work with, and have really not had any problems in the past. One great thing is that I know I'll be able to do something different with this one. I definitely get tired of the same ole same ole (POLKA DOTS!!!!)

BTW I did advise the bride that if she truely wants something original, for us NOT to do the LSU stadium or polkas, stripes, and diamonds cake.

Again, thanks everyone for the encouragement.

Im sooooo glad it worked out for you! We have all been hoping the best as we read your thread. It's nice when we can voice support for one another in these kinds of issues because, let's face it... noone can understand the way another cake decorator can!

Have a GREAT day Nikki

you wrote; So much of my business is handled through emails and phone calls. I've had brides I don't even meet because we do all of our discussions this way. Most of them have had my cake at a function already, so they don't feel the need to do a tasting, even though I never mind doing one. And typically I wait until we have the design ironed out before we do a deposit. Most brides have a real good idea of what they want to begin with. But in this case where she's having a hard time deciding what exactly she wants, I'm glad to have the deposit on the way, or at least a partial deposit anyway. I try to be easy to work with, and have really not had any problems in the past. One great thing is that I know I'll be able to do something different with this one. I definitely get tired of the same ole same ole (POLKA DOTS!!!!)

BTW I did advise the bride that if she truely wants something original, for us NOT to do the LSU stadium or polkas, stripes, and diamonds cake.

Again, thanks everyone for the encouragement.


I'm glad you have worked things out, I too do much of my orders by phone and email but now I do insist that when they agree to the contract we meet in person for the contract signing and deposit. I once had a bride who's mother ordered the cake for her, and mom ordered the wrong cake it was not a pleasent experince, so I draw up a skectch of what the bride wants and have her inital the design and then make a copy so the initaled original is in my contract and the copy goes with the bride. I lets me worry a lot less!

you wrote; So much of my business is handled through emails and phone calls. I've had brides I don't even meet because we do all of our discussions this way. Most of them have had my cake at a function already, so they don't feel the need to do a tasting, even though I never mind doing one. And typically I wait until we have the design ironed out before we do a deposit. Most brides have a real good idea of what they want to begin with. But in this case where she's having a hard time deciding what exactly she wants, I'm glad to have the deposit on the way, or at least a partial deposit anyway. I try to be easy to work with, and have really not had any problems in the past. One great thing is that I know I'll be able to do something different with this one. I definitely get tired of the same ole same ole (POLKA DOTS!!!!)

BTW I did advise the bride that if she truely wants something original, for us NOT to do the LSU stadium or polkas, stripes, and diamonds cake.

Again, thanks everyone for the encouragement.


I'm glad you have worked things out, I too do much of my orders by phone and email but now I do insist that when they agree to the contract we meet in person for the contract signing and deposit. I once had a bride who's mother ordered the cake for her, and mom ordered the wrong cake it was not a pleasent experince, so I draw up a skectch of what the bride wants and have her inital the design and then make a copy so the initaled original is in my contract and the copy goes with the bride. I lets me worry a lot less!

I like to sit down with people.. even if they don't want to taste my cakes.. just so that you can bring it home.. have that person be more than a voice of the phone. That and so much can get lost in translation that sitting down with someone can make your work a ton easier. I have had 100% over the phone cakes, but not usually for a wedding cake.. too much at stake for me.

Wow! That crypt dog sure looks like what I have envisioned a Chupacabra to look like!!!