Yesterday I recieved an email from my neighbor inviting us to her sons birthday party. She wasn't real sure what time or when other than it would be memorial day weekend. Okay fine! She just wanted to give us a heads up.......So I replied saying keep me informed and if we don't have plans we will try to stop by.

Today she sends me a reply....Yes we are having it and I would like to get a recipe and frosting from you. What the heck?!?!?!? I'm not sure how to respond in order not to make her mad. UGH! I want to send her a box mix and frosting in a can!

CINDY

Just tell her you're sorry but you use family recipes that you can't give out but you can direct her to some that you've tried before. Tell her to check out the Cake Mix Doctor book or something.

I really thought you were going to say that she asked you to bring a cake.

I thought she asked you to bring the bday cake too.
I also suggest that you tell her you can't share family recipes

but you can direct her to foodnetwork.com and the wilton website and she can find them herself.

Say they are business recipes, and cannot be given out.

Just tell her no I can't...

I don't know why we can't just say NO

NO

NO

No

Can you make a cake for tomorrow.. Ummm NO

Can you make a 7 ft. tall baby with a transformer toy for 50.00? umm NO

LOL

NO
NO
NO
NO
Sorry NO

We are old enough we shouldn't have to give explanations

When people ask me for recipes that I don't want to share, I direct them to Foodnetwork.com or recipezaar.com.

There was a teacher who kept asking how I make my candied popcorn. I told her that my recipes are a well kept secret, but gave her a basic recipe sheet from my local cake and candy supplier.

You know, I was just thinking, that if any of the other guests had tasted your cakes and frostings before, and then had the cake that the woman baked and decorated using your recipes, and it turned out very horribly, then they'd be thinking that you made it, and that probably wouldnt be a good thing. Just my 2 cents though.

If you're afraid of her getting angry just find a recipe on line and give her that one. If it doesn't turn out "right" tell her sometimes even the same recipe done by different people can taste totally different and don't let on that it's not the same one.

I'd say..what flavor? And then go pull one off of any website and send it to her as if it's the recipe you use. Then when she complains that it didn't taste like yours tell her "baking is a science and not everybody can bake a cake by just following the ingredients listed." Then you can avoid the whole explanation of why you don't give out your receipes.

Christi thank you for reminding us NO is actually in the dictionary! Why is it so easy to say NO to our children, but we can't so NO to adults? I probably wouldn't get the screaming tantrums with adults that I get out of my 3 and 13 year olds.

This should probably go under another forum post but oh well.

I wouldn't put it past her to ask for me to bring a cake. One of our other neighbors asked me one day...Would you like to make a cake for Friday? It was one of those DUH moments that I often have. I said sure what do you need...she said something for a Derby party. I replied OKAY! I had just made her daughters birthday cake the week before and didn't think anything about it, because she actually gave me a very nice tip. So she picked the cake up on Friday and said..."Thanks I sure do appreciate it"! No payment!!! My mouth hit the floor. That was my fault since we didn't discuss it up front. UGH

I guess Sugar_Plum_Fairy and I had the same idea..LOL!

Sounds like these people know how to work you Punkin!!

I'm trying to get the nerve to hand out flyers to my neighbors, indicating I'd love to give them a 15% discount for their patronage....but it sounds so pompous. But if I don't, I'll be there OFFERING cakes for FREE, and I need this in place first to protect me against my own stupidity!!!! :S

Direct her to Wilton and call it a day!

That slogan "Just Say No!" applies to all kinds of things, if we would all just use it!

IMO it takes a whole lot of nerve to ask a neighbor (or anyone for that matter) to make a cake for an occasion and not even offer to pay for it, even if you did tip for the one she made for you a week earlier!

She probably thought if she asked you for recipes you would just offer to make the cake.

Hey, Christi, what dish (recipe) do you want to know about? I'll see if I can remember how my grandmother made it (God knows she hardly ever wrote anything down!) lol

Ohhhh Grace you are Italian aren't you.. I'd love to have a GREAT all day gravy recipe

That, my dear, "I" actually do off the top of my head. lol No longer have to check on recipes for that one. I'll PM you later because right now I'm actually running out the door to pick up my daughter from a play date and dropping off printed icing sheets to someone for her cake.

I'll check in later.

Just what are these people thinking????????????????

Bottom Line! She didn't want a recipe, She wanted you to say,"Oh, I'll bake the Cake" And for FREE! I get invited to a lot of functions because they hope I'll bring a cake. She should have just asked you if you'd mind baking the cake. But not for free.

i agree with others...give her a different recipe, maybe from Martha Stewart or something. Most times, people don't use the recipe or they just breakdown and buy a store bought. I've given friends "real" recipes before and they alway come back and say it didn't come out right.

unfortunately, as adults, we all want to please others (especially when you have talent to make things). so in order to please...we do it...but we can't and we shouldn't compromise our own hard work and research into the recipes we've all memorized in our heads. I suggest to be neighborly and give her some recipe, show up to the function a little late so everyone will know that you didn't make the cake.

Give her this website and tell her to take her pick.

www.allrecipes.com

Theresa

Okay I have a different opinion here. Is your recipe special? Did you come up with it or tweak another recipe? If it is an average, easy to find on the internet recipe, why not just share it? It isn't always the recipes, but the cook that makes the recipe come out good.

I really don't agree with playing off a recipe as yours when you know it isn't. I also don't agree with leaving out something so it doesn't come out as good as when you make it.

If you really and truely don't want to give out your recipe, then don't. But please just be honest about it. You can always say "I'm sorry but I can't give out my recipes." And then direct her to some sites where she may find some good recipes.

I am thinking that she thought you would offer to make the cake. I have had several people ask "that way".

THe one this past week that offered me to help make a cake was so she could get it for less.

She is your friend, just give it to her. Life is too short to be petty.

This happened to me once with cookies and RI recipes. I directed her to Williams sonoma's website and said " I use their icing recipe some times. That way she got a recipe but NOT one I used a lot. I hate when people try to "cheap out" when they know you make cakes. I just had a friend ask me to borrow all my icing tips/bags, get color and for "ideas" for her to decorate her daughter's cake. That way she didn't have to pay me!