http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/03/19/AR2008031903452.html?nav=emailpage

The above articles was in today's paper, and I found it online so I could share it here.

We hear and read LOTS of articles in which brides are told to get the vendor to reduce the price, so I thought it was refreshing to read an article where the bride is being told to be responsible financially (what a radical thought!) when planning a wedding.

You'll find the responses very interesting .... my favorite is the bride who is APPALLED that she be told to decrease her guest list!

Indydebi thanks for posting this. It is so true. It amazes me what things I hear brides say. I wonder just how many of these brides/grooms who throw these husge wedding blow outs are still married 5,10,15 years later. My husband and I got married by a notary with just a couple of family members present and then had a small reception and we will celebrate 20 years in November. So I can say its not all about the big weddings with some people. I am doing a cake for a bride next week and shae said her dad told her he would give her $20000 for a nice wedding or give it to her to buy a house, she chose the house. She is getting married in her friends back yard with 50 people coming to the wedding.
I am sure you have seen alot more than I have being in the business much longer than I. Thanks again for sharing this with us.
Faye

So true! Thanks deb. I sent an email to her thanking her for the article. My wedding was just me and hubby. No expensive dress, no family, no cake, just us. We have been married 2 years and our relationship seems a lot stronger than couples that have been married a whole lot longer! If family can't understand it's not in our budget oh well!!! They have been begging us to have children and my answer is write me a check and then we'll talk. We are still enjoying each other and when god thinks we are ready we will have them. As far as the wedding goes I have too much going on to stress about throwing a party for everyone else to get drunk and enjoy. I would rather wait until we decide to renew our vows and do something intimate.

Well, the girl that works for me got married 6 years ago, spent about $25000 on her wedding, they divorced last year, will be getting remarried again this year and is looking to spend about the same.

Makes no sense to me!

I read that yesterday and I too was impressed. I've seen some very nice small wedding and some over the top that seem lost in the circus of the event. I think she made many good comments in the article. Like remember who the wedding is for, the couple. And go from there with what you can afford. Be it small, average or huge.

We have a cake for most sizes, right!!

I am dying to tell one of my brides about this article!! Well, she may not be one of my brides... She's having 170 people to her reception, she told me she saw the venue and just loved it and wouldn't have anything else. It's like a $12,000 minimum... then she was freaking out over me saying a wedding cake to serve 170 people would cost $780. She wanted maybe a small 2 tier cake in the front and then sheet cakes in the back.

I just want to say, 170 PEOPLE?!?! If you can't afford that many people, then don't invite that many! How big could your family be?!?

I can't say for sure what the "norm" was 45-50 years ago, but everyone my parents age around here seemed to have their receptions in the basement, backyard or Church hall. The great majority of them are still together and happy. My mom says they got married right out of school, had a nice luncheon after the wedding for family (Homemade food by grandmas and aunts) and later in the evening all their friends from school came. They had sweets and pizza then. The memories they hold dear are not of the lavish things, but the FUN they had!

When I married, 16 years ago, we all felt pressure to go for broke. (My parents, in-laws and us) And while I am still happily married, I would change many things about that day if I could have it to do over. Starting with the guest list...

A great number of my friends who married around the same time and also spent a fortune are divorced and onto marriage #2 or even 3!

I think it's ludicrous what people spend for weddings these days. Mortgaging their houses??? Come on, people!! My hubby and I have been married for 4 years now, and we didn't want a big wedding, for the cost and for the hassle! We got married in front of our pastor and our parents, in jeans, sneakers and $20 bride and groom white tees Then we had a reception at a larger church. Total cost was about $2500. MAYBE. Dad was so glad it was cheap that he gave us money for our honeymoon. We were able to pay for our honeymoon PLUS use some for our house. Yay for thriftiness!

Interesting article. It is ridiculous what people will spend on weddings these days. My husband and I were already career people when we married. I set a budget of $12,000 and we both paid $6,000 cash.

It is absurd the amount of debt people will get into just to have an "over the top" wedding. They spend years paying off the wedding and struggling with finances.

My husband's 27 year old cousin had a lavish $20,00+ wedding 18 months ago, vacationed in Cancun and is already heading to divorce court. It's her parents fault for buying into the insanity.

A neighbor also had an extreme wedding with about 250 guests. They spent two years going through fertility treatment, finally had a baby and now they are getting divorced. I am still in shock!

I just read it and think it's great. I even copied/pasted it to Word for future reference.

I had a bride recently tell me (not ask) to "give me a good deal on my cake because since I am throwing a 4 day wedding for 400 people, I already feel like I will have to sell a kidney to pay for it." I guess the gun to her head making her do that is invisible, because I didn't see it....