Sunny77 Posted 5 Oct 2007 , 7:31pm
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Hi Everyone, I've just returned from my daughters wedding back in Iowa. I ended up not making her cake and turned that over to Susan from QTCakes (also a cakecentral member). She made the most beautiful cake I've ever seen at a wedding and it was delicious I hear. But here's the problem and I am hoping for some feedback. My daughter and I had 2 "official" cake servers for her wedding. They were doing a very nice job slicing and plating servings of cake for the guests when a very wealthy and obviously very drunken guest (invited by the grooms parents) decided to dismiss them telling them "let a professional do it!" and she proceeded to hack and tear away at the cake and plopping some on the floor. She thought it was so funny she began using her hands to pick chunks and put them on plates and by the time I got to the table she had completely obliverated the entire cake. This was a 5 tier gorgeous detailed cake! She destroyed the top piece that my daughter and her husband was to keep and she had her hands in all the other parts as well. It truly looked as if a cake fight had occured. My sister reached the table before I knew anything about it and dismissed the woman telling her to go wash up (she was covered including her clothes and hair in cake). The drunken woman was upset. It was all I could do to not cause a scene. I knew it wouldn't bring the cake back and it wouldn't save my daughters top piece but I didn't even get a bite of it! After seeing the mess she made no one wanted any. I am still so angry and upset about it. Please help me know what to do. I know there isn't much I can do but what right did this woman have playing in my daughters cake. She truly was NOT trying to help. Is there anything I should do? We are thinking of calling susan and asking if she can recreate the top for my daughter and her husband to freeze and have next year. For some reason that tradition was very important to both my daughter and I since I never had the opportunity to do that with my wedding cake. Sorry this is so long and thanks for any remarks.

83 replies
heyjude Posted 5 Oct 2007 , 7:43pm
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I would call Susan and see if she would make another one. And then call the drunken lady who obviously was brought up by a pack of wolves and tell her she owes you for it.

I would have been beyond angry at that lady if I were you and your daughter. icon_evil.gif

keriskreations Posted 5 Oct 2007 , 7:53pm
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I'm so sorry this happened! What a horrible woman! Weddings seem to bring out the worst in some people! How upsetting to have someone ruin such a lovely thing! I think I would contact Susan, tell her the situation, and ask her if she wouldn't mind making another topper. Of course, someone's going to have to pay for it - and to avoid conflict with the new family, I would probably just offer that up front. I'm sure she would have no problem re-creating that for the tradition sake!

Not only do weddings bring out the worst in some people - it brings out the worst people, that would otherwise be holed up in their homes. HA! Again, sorry this happened!!

BlueRoseCakes Posted 5 Oct 2007 , 7:54pm
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I agree with heyjude. I'd find out from the groom's parents who that person was, then send them a bill (and let the groom's parents know that's what you're going to do so they aren't blindsided if the person calls them). Include a letter stating that she ruined an expensive cake and an important part of the wedding, not to mention the momento of the top tier. Hopefully the grooms parents will agree with you and support you. If someone on my side did that, I'd go after them myself.

tiggy2 Posted 5 Oct 2007 , 7:59pm
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If it would have been me she would have been wearing the entire cake! I don't know where people get off thinking they can take control of someone else's event. Are the in-laws aware of how their guest acted? I'd call her and tell her the wedding cake cost $xxx.00 and that is what I expect to be reimbursed from her since she took it upon herself to destroy it.

Sunny77 Posted 5 Oct 2007 , 8:11pm
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The girls that were supposed to be cutting the cake told me the mother of the groom was taking photos of her drunken friend destroying the cake and thought it was humorous. I am just sick about the entire thing.

DoniB Posted 5 Oct 2007 , 8:12pm
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I'd definitely ask for the money for the cake. Cakes are too expensive to just play in like that, unless you've bought one specifically for that purpose. She can! icon_razz.gif And I would certainly make the groom's family aware of it... if they don't want to bother her with it, then THEY can make reparations, but either way, an expensive element of the wedding was destroyed, and someone should respect and be responsible for that!

just my opinion. icon_razz.gif

BrandisBaked Posted 5 Oct 2007 , 8:12pm
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Just wondering if anyone got photos of her attacking the cake....

As either evidence or blackmail. icon_wink.gif

briansbaker Posted 5 Oct 2007 , 8:23pm
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I would call the mother of the groom.. and ask her to pay for the top tier cake and also ask her to pay for half of the wedding cake.. being no one touch it after her drunken friend got a hold of it.. Or better yet! Make the drunken friend pay for it!! That's not fair to your daughter.. maybe the cost of a wedding cake will make her think before touching someone elses wedding cake again.. drunk that is!!
shit were grown men and woman.. icon_mad.gif We dont have time to play childish games with others.. It was your daughters wedding.. a day you cannot replace.. and dont think your going to hurt either ones feelings.. because that was the last thing on thier minds at the wedding..

shoot.. give me thier numbers, I'll call her!!!! icon_twisted.gif

Sorry ya.. Got me in a mood!!! tapedshut.gif

FromScratch Posted 5 Oct 2007 , 8:28pm

What a wench!! I would have pressed her face in the cake and not let go until she stopped moving..

She should be sent a bill for the whole cake.. just so she knows what she did. If I were the servers I would have kept her away from the cake at all costs, but I am more agressive than most people.

At the VERY least she should be responsible for a new top tier.. but do contact her and let her know that she made the entire cake unserveable and made the bride VERY upset. How horrible.. I'd hope she would be so embarrassed that she'd just pay for the cake.. I know I would (not that I'd have destroyed the cake in the first place, but you know what I mean).

jen1977 Posted 5 Oct 2007 , 8:29pm

I would send the mother of the groom a bill for 50% of the total price, and her drunken friend a bill for the other half. I'm guessing that since there are pictures, you could have a case against the drunk in small claims court.

Melvira Posted 5 Oct 2007 , 8:33pm

If it were me, Drunky Drunkerson would get a bill for the entire amount of the cake with a strongly worded letter about her behavior. I'd let her know that she ruined your daughter's reception, no one was even able to eat the cake, and that if she failed to reimburse (whomever paid for it) as well as sending a written apology, she will quickly find herself in small claims court where you will add a sum for pain and suffering to the total.

I get SO SICK of hearing things like, "Oh she was DRUNK, she didn't know any better!" as an excuse!! There is no excuse for acting like that. If you don't know your limit, DON'T DRINK IN PUBLIC where you may end up doing something like this. She thought she was being cute, but she was making a mockery of the beautiful and expensive cake that was the centerpiece of the whole party. Not to mention the sheer embarassment of everyone thinking this was someone your daughter associates with.

That's just my opinion, and I know you will hear SO many more, but I had to weigh in! I'm so sorry this happened!

rhiannon1979 Posted 5 Oct 2007 , 8:34pm

First and for most, I am so sorry to hear about what happened. It makes me sick to my stomach to think that someone could do that in the middle of the most importnat day in you daughters life. I have a daughter and though she is way to young to get married I would be so mad for someone to ruin her day. I can't believe that the mother of the groom thought it was funny. What did your daughter and her new husband think about the whole thing? I think that I would try to get the top layer re-made. Then I would send the bill to the drunkn lady icon_mad.gif . Again I am so sorry for your problem and I pray that everything gets resolved. God Bless icon_wink.gif

TheCakeGirl87 Posted 5 Oct 2007 , 8:36pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Melvira

If it were me, Drunky Drunkerson would get a bill for the entire amount of the cake with a strongly worded letter about her behavior. I'd let her know that she ruined your daughter's reception, no one was even able to eat the cake, and that if she failed to reimburse (whomever paid for it) as well as sending a written apology, she will quickly find herself in small claims court where you will add a sum for pain and suffering to the total.

I get SO SICK of hearing things like, "Oh she was DRUNK, she didn't know any better!" as an excuse!! There is no excuse for acting like that. If you don't know your limit, DON'T DRINK IN PUBLIC where you may end up doing something like this. She thought she was being cute, but she was making a mockery of the beautiful and expensive cake that was the centerpiece of the whole party. Not to mention the sheer embarassment of everyone thinking this was someone your daughter associates with.

That's just my opinion, and I know you will hear SO many more, but I had to weigh in! I'm so sorry this happened!




I totaly agree!

cwcopeland Posted 5 Oct 2007 , 8:43pm

I am so sorry this happened to your family. How stupid can some people be?

This is the reason I refused to serve liquor at my daughter's wedding. I totally agree with the other posters that you should get another topper for the couple and bill the lush who destroyed the cake along with a letter telling her how stupid she acted and looked.

I also agree with the poster who suggested blackmail. Then again, this is probably pretty common for her so it won't bother her.

I'd still bill her for it.

Doug Posted 5 Oct 2007 , 8:45pm

and I would be contacting a lawyer to sue her in civil court for damages to include total cost of cake as well as a replacement for the anniversary.

far to easy anymore for people to just blow off "requests", "demands," and "strongly worded letters."

a lawsuit they cannot dismiss.

and do be sure to check about getting photos of the woman in action and of the results.

----

so sorry a wonderful day had to have this happen on it.

meldancer Posted 5 Oct 2007 , 8:49pm

I would send the a bill to the drunk for the cost of the cake plus for the replacement of the top tier. Was she trying to ruin the cake because of a past issue with the bride/groom. Ex girlfriend?

ccr03 Posted 5 Oct 2007 , 8:51pm

I'm gonna have to disagree with the majority and agree with kriskreations.

I would just ask Susan to make another topper and pay for it myself. I know TOO many marriages that have broken up or lead to worse because in-laws fight with each over the dumbest things. Yes, the chic was completely wrong and the MOG was wrong to not do anything, but if the MOG didn't so anything at the time, why would you expect her to do anything now?

Andchances are that neither the MOG or the drunk chic are gonna want to pay, so you'll either end up paying or with MASSIVE headaches.

Basically, I think there are certain people/things worth fighting with/for and others not. Plus, if you got the cake I am sure it would be much more special/meaningful to your daughter because YOU got it for it.

dueter Posted 5 Oct 2007 , 8:53pm

Before you get say anything to the MOG about her friend, I would ask for copies of all the pictures taken. That way the ones of Drunken Slob don't convently get lost. Documentation....as Indi says. Proof is in the before and after pictures.
You have not said anything about the groom. If he backs up Drunken Slob then it is not worth the price of cake to put that kind of strain on the newlyweds. If he backs up his bride(if he is smart he will) then the price of the whole cake and new top should be payed by Slob.

snowqueen93 Posted 5 Oct 2007 , 8:55pm

Send her a bill for the cake and the replacement tier with a letter explaining why she owes the money and that you will take her to small claims court if she does not pay. (This matter would not be allowed in a civil courtroom - in the eyes of the law the amount would be too petty).

And if she gives you the drunk excuse remind her that being drunk is not an excuse in the eyes of the law, you are still liable for the actions you perform while you are intoxicated unless you are involuntarily intoxicated, which means someone would have to tie you up and force you to drink until you get drunk - not likely!

What a totally inappropriate way to act. I can't even believe this is for real.

darandon Posted 5 Oct 2007 , 8:57pm

I agree that "being drunk" is no excuse and it is not "cute" behavior. I'd send her the bill.

cakekahuna Posted 5 Oct 2007 , 9:00pm

Send her a bill for the cake. The whole purpose of having the cake at the wedding (serving to the guests) was defeated by her unruly and drunken behaviour. The guests refused to partake of the cake because she made a play dough of it. I say send her a bill immediately!!!

nickymom Posted 5 Oct 2007 , 9:03pm

UGH this is one of the reasons why I hate alchol. It changes people's behavior (usually for the worst).
Drunks are so stupid!

I seriouly doubt you're going to get the drunk or the MOG to pay for the topper so you're probably going to have to pay for the 2nd one if you want your daughter to have it for her 1st ann.

((((((hugs))))))
Sorry this happened to your daughter!! icon_sad.gif

becky27 Posted 5 Oct 2007 , 9:08pm

there are just no words...stupid people everywhere...send the lady a strong worded letter with a copy of the bill for the cake and a copy of the new bill for the cake top!!!!
and i bet this lady didn't even bring a present....go and check!!!! i want to know what she brought if any!!! i am so angry!!!!!

EmilyGrace Posted 5 Oct 2007 , 9:10pm

I would send the drunk a bill for the entire cake, but leave the MIL out of it (except to ask for the pics). I also wouldn't ask for extra for the top tier as that cost would be included in the bill for the entire cake.

I hope you get this sorted out!

CakesbyMonica Posted 5 Oct 2007 , 9:20pm

I agree with Doug, this is a case for small claims/civil court. This is a serious issue. Destruction of property.

If I was the bride, that woman would have gotten it!

grama_j Posted 5 Oct 2007 , 9:22pm

Well, just my opinion, but the best thing you could do, is get the pictures of her ruining the cake..... send a copy directly to her with a very strongly worded letter stating that you hope she is proud of herself for ruining the reception, and the $ XXX.XX cake, which could not be served after she had PAWED her unsanitary hands through each and every last piece........and tell her you now need to replace the top tier so that they will have their "anniversary cake"..... Let her actually SEE what she did.... otherwise, she either won't remember, or will just make a joke out of it..... at this point, she doesn't even know she hurt someone.....

indydebi Posted 5 Oct 2007 , 9:25pm

Leave MOG out of it. She may have invited the person but she is not her sister's keeper.

I'm with Doug. Have your attorney send her a letter. Trust me, I''ve been there (not with a wedding but with a personal matter). Let's just say an "EX" in-law does not mess with me anymore because all that had to happen was her to see a letter in her mailbox with a return address that included the words "Attorney at Law".

If it was my daughter's wedding that was ruined..... first, I think y'all an imagine how unashamed I would be to pull that wench outside by the hair on her head and kick her sorry a$$ to the curb! Second, it would be worth every penny that I would pay my attorney to get this chic to see that it was NOT funny, that it was NOT acceptable, and no one thought it was CUTE!

There are repercussions for actions and this troll needs to learn that!

step0nmi Posted 5 Oct 2007 , 9:27pm

Oh yeah! I agree with deuter and gramma_j...she may not even know that she destroyed it! Or if you get the word around before getting the pics she could deny it. Anyway...get the pics first and then settle this! I agree with Doug too! This is a lawsuit if this woman doesn't pay for the cake and the new topper. She DESTROYED the cake and no one was able to eat it!

Good luck with this one. Really think things through before you take any action.

FromScratch Posted 5 Oct 2007 , 9:50pm

Yes.. be sure to secure some pictures of the act and so contact a lawyer.. This is between you and the drunken lady.. no need to get the MOG involved.. This still steams me up.. such a wench.

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