I posted not long ago about going to Utah to do a wedding for one of my closest friends. Well, I think that I made her into a Bridezilla!
She keeps wanting to look at wedding cake pictures and has changed the wedding cake design like 7 times in the past 3 weeks. I'm not talking about little changes - totally different cake designs. We went from a shell cake, to a cake with swags and calla lillies, to a cake with black and white photos of the couple with a rose swag, to that cake with the tower of roses design... and it keeps going.
Finally I told her that I will surprise her with a cake that has elements I know she loves. She told me that was fine. Than she starts telling me that she wants the cake in petal shape, that she wants this and that she wants that - somethings contradicting what she has said! And she can't settle down on a date, type of flower, or colors - though as of yesterday we may actually have a date.
This is already going to be difficult enough. Isn't it enough I'm doing the cake for FREE, aside from the expenses? UGH!
Rachel
As of right now the wedding is September 7th. I don't want to deal with this for the next 7 months. 
I did tell her she was becoming a bridezilla and her response was, "you made me this way!"
Rachel
She's your friend, let her look and enthuse about all sorts of designs.
THEN -You need to treat her just like a customer. Make a contract stating the design, NO changes after a certain date; MAXIMUM size; put your usual cost to make the cake, then her discount; etc...
Oh without a doubt. I am NOT going to play around when it comes to the cake. She is definately a customer and I won't get screwed on this one. I will be sending a contract as soon as they have a definate date. *sigh*
I like what Duff said on Ace of Cakes one episode. He will do any of his friend's wedding cakes for absolutely free, but they get NO say in the design. If they want to pick their design then they have to pay for it. That might be worth a shot, might get her to "simmer down" a little. Good luck!
I know exactly what you are going through as I am going through the same thing only I am getting paid for it. I really wish we could put an aggrivation clause in all contracts.
Exactly. Well, I'm going to talk to her about it tonight. I'm also going to write up a contract because I want all the expenses that I expect them to pay layed out in plain English. I have a sneaking suspicion that I won't end up doing the wedding cake cuz paying for me to get to Utah, whether by plane or car will be expensive. They'd get the best cake for the $ cuz I will pull out all the stops for this woman, but they could get a nice cake much cheaper if they didn't have to pay for me to travel 2000 miles. We'll see.
Rachel
My aunt made my wedding cake. All I could tell her is what shape pans I wanted. It was three tiers (I had no choice in that). I told her the colors and she did the rest. DH picked what he wanted on the grooms cake and she designed the rest. I will do the same for my family members. They will tell me shape and colors and that's all. Of course my family has to pay me for the ingredients because I ask but they don't seem to mind.
I like what Duff said on Ace of Cakes one episode. He will do any of his friend's wedding cakes for absolutely free, but they get NO say in the design. If they want to pick their design then they have to pay for it. That might be worth a shot, might get her to "simmer down" a little. Good luck!
YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
obviously you know what elements she likes......just keep "yessing her to death "when she says things.....she will love whatever you come up with.
deb
I have to passionately disagree with this advice.
A wedding is something most women dream of from the time they are young girls. A wedding is magical, and (should be) a one-time shot at a dream come true. I would never be so presumptive as to tell a bride that as long as I'm doing their cake as a gift, I will choose the design. The wedding is the bride's dream, not the cake decorator's dream.
Let it be all about her. 
Let your friend look all she wants, and reassure her how beautiful is each new design she chooses! Then, 2 months before the wedding, get her to commit to the design. Until then, indulge her. In the blink of an eye, it will all be over, and she should have nothing but happy memories and photographs of her beautiful wedding and that dreamy once-in-a-lifetime cake.
I agree with both, a bit. #1 - this isn't her first wedding, but her first wedding was a disaster so we're making this one super special.
#2 - I can't wait til 2 months before the wedding to have her make a decision, I'm travelling 2000 miles with this cake and as the wedding date now stands it is 2 weeks before I go to OSSAS, so I have got to have decisions made NOW so I can prepare.
#3 - My friend has asked me to make the final decision and to make the cake for her that she'd love. I finally got the color/flower decisions and I have the cake sketched out and will post it later for you to see. It's a combination of about 4 designs she looked at and is highlighting most of her favorite elements.
Anyway. I'm talking to her now and we're working out some of the details. It is still going to be a pain in the butt but the contract conversation that I'm having with her has made the light come on upstairs.
Rachel
obviously you know what elements she likes......just keep "yessing her to death "when she says things.....she will love whatever you come up with.
deb
I have to passionately disagree with this advice.
A wedding is something most women dream of from the time they are young girls. A wedding is magical, and (should be) a one-time shot at a dream come true. I would never be so presumptive as to tell a bride that as long as I'm doing their cake as a gift, I will choose the design. The wedding is the bride's dream, not the cake decorator's dream.
Let it be all about her.
I would agree with this to a point. Proper etiquette seems to be a lost art these days.
The cake is free. You do not take advantage of someone doing you a tremendous freebie like this. So as long as the bride is being courteous, then ok .... get their input. Once they cross the line to a demanding bridezilla, then it's a whole new ballgame. I am not going to donate what amounts to hundreds of dollars worth of time and product so I can be treated without any consideration.
If you (bride) are gracious about receiving my gift, then I will be gracious about getting you want you want. It CAN be a win-win.
However......
If you (bride) want to be inconsiderate of my time and effort in this endeavor, then you can pay for the privilege. And I guarantee that you won't like my rates on a cake made in those circumstances.
Okay. Well, we're all settled on a bunch of details with some room for change, but not much.
She settled on red gumpaste roses, yellow gerbera daisies and white lily of the valley.
The cake will be all dummy cakes and we'll do sheetcakes to serve.
Here is the sketch.
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