Well this story starts back a few months ago. I had just finished my last Wilton class on a Tuesday and of course I had just made the wedding cake required for that last class. It actually turned out really well.

It just so happened to be one of my mom's sister's birthday and some of the family was having a little party for her at another sister's house on Wednesday. My mom ask me if I wanted to make her a cake.

Well I told her that actually I had a very nice cake already made from class that I would love to give to someone, but I would also make everyone just a regular chocolate sheet cake just in case that other one was'nt to good. ( I was'nt sure because it was covered in Fondant.)

So she said great, so I made the other cake, boxed them both up and my mom picked them up a little before the party. I did'nt go, but my mom and my kids said that everything was good and everyone really liked the cakes.

Now here is the kick in the stomach part....... today my mom's sister, the one's house that held the party, not the one that had the birthday, anyways she called me today. She asked me what was the name of the teacher that taught my cake decorating classes? Well first I thought that well someone in her family wants to take some classes, ( which kinda irritated me a little, because it was kinda like, your cake looked so good, instead of asking you when we need a cake we will just go learn ourselves how to do them.) So I told her the teachers name, and she said yeah we thought maybe that was her, we want to ask her to do my daughters wedding cake in December.

Well I was kinda pissed, shocked, and stupid. Like well you are good enough to get info from and to be invited to the wedding, but you are not good enough to make this cake.

I really actually don't care about making the cake, it would be a nightmare making something for this aunt, but it was kinda like she wanted to let me know that she new I can make cakes but she didnt want me to make her daughters.

My family is a very backstabbing, jealous, two-faced and lowdown type of a family. And this is just another lump in my throat.

I dont know if it's just me, but alot of people just love to try and piss on whoever they can.

You know, I mind my own business, but I must have a sign on my back that says, Kick me like a dog, I love it!!

Sorry so long. But when you get started you cant stop.

So sorry this happend to you. It definately wasn't very nice, but just think of all the hassle it will save you if you don't have to make the cake. My family is the same way and I just try ( although it's really hard sometimes) to hold my head high and be the bigger person. I believe that one day it will all come back and bite them in the rear. Don't let it get you down and put your attention on the people who do want your cakes. Good luck and wishing you all the best.

i'm sorry I have one side of my family that is similar- and it still makes yah feel bad even though I should no better !!! Just try and let it roll off -sometimes i think it isn't right out mean but people that are so wrapped up in themselveds they don't even notice how they make otgers feel!!
{{{{hugs}}}}}

C'mere Crystal... you need a hug really bad!!

>>>>Crystal<<<<

A good portion of my mother's family is that way, so I know exactly what you are talking about. My aunt knows how to make roses, and she throws a couple on a dry cake with a can of frosting, then looks at my cakes and acts like they aren't as good as hers. She couldn't even spell fondant. But she looks down her nose at everyone. She is pissy at me because her parents think I am the living end, and she doesn't want them to love anyone except her. How sad is it that you don't want your parents to love their own grandkids. And don't even get me started on the two faced inlaws I have to deal with!! I know your pain girlfriend, I am living it, and I have your back! Screw her and the horse she rode in on. You are so far beyond her petty crap! Keep that smile and know that we appreciate you!!

OMG! That sounds like my inlaws!!!!

You poor thing! (luckily, I don't HAVE to associate with my inlaws, lol)



I don't know what they were thinking, but that was just downright RUDE!!! I'd tell them about it!



(but, I've come to find out that family can be some of the worst customers, anyway...)



UGH! That is just so mean!

WOW, that sounds a little like my family, not to that degree, but enough for me to know where you are coming from. I'm sorry they felt the need to do that All I can say is misery loves company and they are probably just jealous.

My own sister just pulled something on me this week. It's my nephew's birthday on Friday and since I have taken my classes starting in March I have made everyone's cake in the family. Well, she wants to have a cookie cake for his birthday party . I'm like WHAT!!!!

Whatever! Chin up!

Why is it that we let family inflict the most pain on us?? Just remember what Dear Abby used to say, "no-one can take advantage of you without your permission!" When you let her hurt you like this, it's with your permission! Take back your power and let it go! You know that doing that cake and working with that aunt would have been sheer hell on earth! As I started to read your post, i thought it was going to end with negative comments on your cakes - instead you got mentally messed with by the wicked "auntie"! She doesn't deserve your time and talent!! Get caller i.d. and don't answer her calls!!

I'm sorry to hear that you had such a time with your family. Maybe she isn't mean, just really stupid. Some people think that even though you've taken classes for something that the teacher did all the work for you or something. Maybe it didn't even dawn on her that you could do it for her!

When my first brother got married, I was a little upset that he didn't ask me to do the flowers (I was a floral designer for 4 1/2 years). Later I got the impression that it never even crossed his mind since it was out of town. I didn't say anything and just let it go. When my oldest brother got married a couple of years later (I had stopped designing by then and was going to school) he asked me to do them even though he had never seen my work. He is a big tough guy but he almost cried when he saw the flowers I had done! He was so happy with them. I wouldn't say either brother was nicer than the other, just one thought of it and the other didn't. Maybe that's the case with your Aunt. Or maybe they have something else they'd like you to do. I can tell you from experience though, it's stressful doing something for a relative's wedding! You're probably better off emotionally (and financially) just attending.

Hope this helps! As Dr. Phil says, don't give your power away to someone else by getting all upset and angry with them- if they did something stupid or hurtful they don't deserve to get your power!

Hugs!

I was having a pretty awful day today....and then I read your post.....and I felt even more like crap. However, I do have to say your last line brought such laughter that it relieved some of my stress......thanks and hope that your cousin's cake falls before the party even starts......(I know....that's mean.....but just saying what every CC'er is thinking!!!!! )

I don't blame you for being mad. That was wrong of her to call you for the number and not even ask you if you would like to make the cake. But then again you don't need that headache. Think of it this way, if the cakes sucks you wont get blamed for it. My family is the same way. my brother says that my cakes suck. But I know that isn't true. He just has to complain about everything and doesn't like anything. Don't let them get you down.

If you family is that bad, good thing your not doing the cake.

That's sounds just like my inlaws! And like the others said, I'm trying to be the bigger person. My nephews (ages 11 to 17) always asks for my cakes but their parents just don't let them!!! Only one of my SIL thinks I'm good enough, she refers me to her friends! But MIL just calls me when she knows I have a big order, and she wants to know who's the customer, what they ordered and why. I never tell her because it's none of her business!!! She knows everything that happens here in town, but never the true story, she always tells stories like she wants it to be!

I feel your pain, but don't let it get to you! They'll see when you begin to take orders, and they hear other people rave about YOUR cakes!!!

(((((((((((((((big hugs)))))))))))))

I'm glad your aunt didn't want you to do the cake. If she did, you'd be posting in a few months about the no-good bridezilla that just happens to be related to you and the aunt who expects you to whip out $500 worth of cake for nothing.

May your first wedding cake be for a kindhearted, generous bride and her mother with a heart of gold-that is my wish for you! Then, it will be a wonderful success and your cousin will always blame her mother for not asking you to make the cake!

Are we related!!! Tee Hee )

I have issues with some of my in-laws and my cake decorating skills too...my BIL swears by grocery store cakes and coolwhip icing..he wouldn't by a cake from me if I was the last baker on earth..just because his ol'lady says I don't do anything she cant cause she took culinary class's for a couple of months, years ago...and is always saying she can do this and that..when actually she has yet to squeeze out one single decoration to prove it!!! I've been decorating and selling cakes for 12 years now and been teaching cake decorating classes for over two years...yet she can out do mine...yah right!...I've made so many cakes I cant count em and literally made 1000's of roses in my time....BUT when an occasion comes up every one else in the family is more than happy even down right honored to have me make theirs.....for family I either have them buy all the supplies for the cakes OR I make them as my gifts for the occasion....

I wish I had taken pictures of ALL my cakes or had a decent camera back during the times I did take pics, I always used those disposable cameras till I finally bought my self a digital camera a year or so ago...I have bookoos of pictures yet they are so distorted, bad lighting and such as

Don't let your wicked aunt get to ya, its her loss and in reality your probably better off NOT doing a cake for her any ways...

Do like I do, make sure when you know she's gonna be around one of your cakes at an occasion flaunt it a tad in her direction (evil grin emerging) gesh how did my halo get around my ankle?... LOL

wow, I don't know if its my age or life experience, but I see the other side.

I can see why you feel hurt, but think about this.

If your cake was a hit, that just proves that you have some aptitude and that you had a great teacher.

So, that said please don't be offended.

Think about it, making a wedding cake is very stressful, do you THINK that you can handle all that? I know it's just for family, but if you will be getting paid then you need to be able to deliver.

I like to tell people this, when they ask me something I don't know and I refer them onto the person that has more skill or more experience..

and please don't be offended coz I'm not calling anyone names..lol

"WHY GO TO THE HORSES BEHIND WHEN YOU CAN ASK THE HORSE'S HEAD?" lol

SO, maybe when you have a little more experience under your belt they will ask you to make bigger and more elaborate cakes. Also....if you want...you can call your teacher..explain that you really want to do this cake and if she could just refer the family back to you.

You can in the meantime keep in touch with your teacher for extra pointers.

HTH

Thank all you guys so much. There really are others out there that feel just like me. And have other people around them that does things like this to others.

Not that I'm glad others have to go through these things, but for quite most of my life things like this always seemed to happen to me, and I really wonder sometimes if maybe i'ts really me that's the crazy one. I always seem to be the minority in everything that has to do with the world and other people.

Even my husband makes me believe that I just don't like nobody. Oooohhh. He makes me just as mad.

But yeah, I am so much more appauled with my aunt than I am hurt. I don't expect anything less from her. She's the type that if you and her were going out on the town, she will call you and ask you what you were going to wear, because she didnt want to under dress or over dress what you were going to wear, and then she would show up way over dressed than you were. You know, trying to look better than you.

And how would you take this,
My son used to have a small turtle in a very small birdcage in his room. Well he decided to put it outside in a pond we have.

I had set the birdcage out against the wall on my front porch. It still had a couple of fake rock looking water bowls and a cute little rubber turtle. It has been out there for about 2 months. I hadnt moved it because actually it looked kinda cute. Even a nice little cluster of clover and came through a crack in the porch and grown through the back of the birdcage. And people would stop and ask if that was a real turtle in there.

I had just told my daughter how I thought I would leave it there when we decorated for Halloween.

Well, the other night my daughter said the neighbor just called and said she was getting her little girl a bird and wanted to know if she could the cage on the my porch. Well I did'nt know what to say, so I said yes, she could have it. And it's missing the top, she said she could buy a top. Well, the whole cage only cost like 14.99. It is very small.

Well see, once again, I'm left thinking, do I go around asking people can I have the stuff off there porches? Nooooooooooo, I would'nt dare ask someone if I could have something. That's not me. If I cant go buy my own, I dont ask others if I can have there's.

Please understand, i'ts not that they thought, "Well, If she's not using it, maybe I can have it."
I'ts more like, "Oh, that bird cage she's has on her porch is cute, and if I ask her if I can have it, it will put her on the spot."

Do ya'll know where I am coming from when I say, I wish for one day I could go around to all those who have tried to irritate and piss me off, and be able to show them just what a good job they have done. BAM BAM BAM!!!!!!

Oh, Risquebusiness. I am glad she didnt want me to do it. I would be very nervous making it. But, one thing is for sure, it would be as close to perfect as I could get it, because I would never do a cake for someone that was'nt presentable. I could never live with myself. If I had to redo it a thousand times to get it right, I would.

This was more of a slap in the face kinda thing.
There is alot more people out there than just my teacher. she has four kids that all have been married more than once. Another one just recently.

She had already found out who my teacher was before she ever called and asked. Theres only two places around here that teaches classes. Only two teachers.

She just wanted to rub it in that she was'nt asking me.

wow, you're just going to have to practice saying no in your bathroom mirror.

If you hear yourself say it every day, you will find that it will be easier to say no to a person.

Sometimes we "read" more into people's actions than there is...some people are not that complicated...and don't have all that going on inside of them.

You will be much happier if you just don't over thing these situations and practice saying no more often.

You will also feel much better about yourself and a lot happier.

It sounds like you let these people walk all over you and then you get angry. You are giving these people POWER over you and your life...and that is NOT a good thing.

Hope that you feel better and here is a {{HUG}} for you.

Don't let them get to you!! Just don't let them see your hurting, instead turn it around and either act like it doesn't bother you at all, or act relieved that you didn't want to do their cakes in the first place cuz they don't deserve you! They really don't, they're just showing their jealous side.

My MIL is that same way when it comes to asking for things. One time she came over and just happened to open a drawer in my kitchen (for what, I have no idea what she was looking for) and she saw some circular curtain holders. She asked if she could have them. My DH told her no and she just sighed and put it back. The nerve....her daughter is the same way, asking for things, even if you're using them!

I wasn't going to reply to this thread because well, I didn't want to upset the OP with what I was going to say. I agree with RisqueBusiness. As soon as I read your post I immediately thought that the Aunt either 1) thought that you might not be ready for such an important cake and 2) maybe she, herself felt a little more comfortable going with someone who had more experience. I don't think she meant it as a slight at all.

As far as the neighbor goes, I think you're reading things into that as well. I'm also not a person who would go around asking people if I can have things but some people feel comfortable doing that. I don't think the neighbor asked to put you on the spot. They probably just saw a cage sitting out front that wasn't being used and figured what the heck, I'll ask. It is then up to you to say No.

It seems to me that you are having problems standing up for yourself or saying no and then you get angry about it and feel like you're being used and the whole world is out to get you.

If you want to do the cake go to the aunt and tell her you'd like to have the chance to do it and offer to do a trial cake in a similar design to what they want for the wedding. That way you will know if you're up to it and they can see what skill level you have and see if they would feel comfortable with you doing it. If they aren't aware that you would like to do the cake (if indeed you would) then you can't fault them for not asking you.

As far as the neighbor goes, you could have just said no if you didn't want to give them the birdcage. But I don't feel it's fair to them to get angry at them for asking you.

I hope this didn't offend you at all because it was not my intent, just trying to shed some light on what possibly may just be a misunderstanding.

Amen, maddicakes..

I have another suggestion.

If you would like to do a "trial" cake..offer to do one for the Bridal shower...less stress and a good practice run to see if you can handle such a large undertaking.

And it will also be a confidence builder for you...!

{{{HUGS}}}

I have to say family can be the worst people to do these things for! So you don't need the aggrevation anyway! Don't feel so bad it happens to all of us! That's why this site is so wonderful, you can vent and get support from us. Because we have been there. Keep up the good work, and don't let her get you down.

I am so sorry that your family is like that. I have a loving and supporting family, so I don't know what it is like, but I can tell you that you would'nt want to do that wedding cake anyway. No matter how perfect it would come out, they would find something to complain about. So just think of it as a blessing that you were'nt ask. Besided I am sure you will be very busy with other orders very soon anyway.

Maybe it's a blessing in disguise that you were not asked to make the cake. NOT because you are not good enough, because I'm sure that you would be very capable of making this cake, but probably if they had asked you, you will be put in a situation that is just total "HELL", esp. that you are dealing with demons, the kind with the longest horns. Don't worry, consider it a blessing, but I understand that you just want to punch them on the nose, and please do !! BTW. Sit back and relax. And tell us how the cake look like later.

Don't stress it. I feel sorry for people that live to be such negative human beings. It seems that you know what they are like so this shouldn't have come as a complete surprise. Life is too short so stay a bigger person than they are and let it go and move on. There are lots of other people out there who will appreciate the work that you do so . . . . Happy Baking!!!!

PS. My Mother in Law is the epitome of EVIL!!!!

Thanks everyone for all the support.

And no, I am not offended by anyones thoughts.

I guess it's something that you have to be in a person's shoes to understand.

Because, yes there really are people out there that have nothing better to do but to see what *stink* they can stir up.

And I have always been one of the people that these *stink* stirrers are attracted to.

I am a very defensive person when it comes to my kids, but I seemed to not take up for myself hardly ever. And afterwards I think I should have spoke up and told them how I really feel.

Thanks again CC'ers

wow...i must say that until you have been doing this for a while your family will not take it serious. it happened to me. i made my sisters wedding cake. (she wouldnt have it any other way) my cousin got married and NO didnt ask me to do her cake. and my other cousin got married and you guesed it NOPE didnt get that either. my advice to you is to skip along and have fun with yur baking and dont let them bother you.