LoveMeSomeCake615 Posted 9 Jul 2013 , 1:20am
post #1 of

I know I shouldn't let things like this bother me, but darn it, they do! 

 

I just saw something on FB that was really rude and hurtful. We are doing a bridal show in August, and the organizer does a post about our business once a month leading up to the bridal show, to introduce us as one of the vendors and posts a picture of one of our cakes (we send her the pictures we want her to use). So she did one today, and posted a picture of a cake we did a while back. I "liked" the post, so it is sending me notifications when there's activity on it. I just got a comment notification and went to look at it, and someone had commented "That's an ugly cake sorry." ouch.gif

 

This was a cake that I had designed and we worked hard on it and were really proud of it. 

 

Now, I don't know this person at all, it's just someone who saw the post and I guess felt the need to comment. (They are not a competitor or anything) What I don't understand is why?? Why would someone do that? If you think it's ugly, ok, whatever, but why wouldn't you just keep your opinion to yourself? Especially on a post like that, it's not like it's just one of her friends posting it, it's a business posting about another business. I just don't get why someone would be so rude. 

 

I've never, EVER had anyone say that one of our cakes is ugly, or even just so-so. We always get really good feedback on our cakes. It's an icky feeling, that's for sure! :(

60 replies
LoveMeSomeCake615 Posted 9 Jul 2013 , 1:25am
post #2 of

 

Here's the "ugly" cake

MimiFix Posted 9 Jul 2013 , 1:32am
post #3 of

The "S" on top is for Stunning  thumbs_up.gif

auntginn Posted 9 Jul 2013 , 1:34am
post #4 of

That's how it is on fb, everybody feels free and/or the need to "express themselves"  regardless of who it might hurt.

auntginn Posted 9 Jul 2013 , 1:35am
post #5 of

By the way, that green is my grandaughters fav color, she would just go crazy over your cake. 

Cakemommy2012 Posted 9 Jul 2013 , 1:40am
post #6 of

Beautiful! =-)

AnnieCahill Posted 9 Jul 2013 , 1:43am
post #7 of

Sorry they said that.  Don't let it bother you.  Some people have really big cake balls online.  I think technology has made people mean, empty, and socially inept. 

 

I don't mess with Facebook at all.

Norasmom Posted 9 Jul 2013 , 1:48am
post #8 of
Quote:
Originally Posted by AnnieCahill 

Sorry they said that.  Don't let it bother you.  Some people have really big cake balls online.  I think technology has made people mean, empty, and socially inept. 

 

I don't mess with Facebook at all.

So true!  The person who wrote it is ugly.

smittyditty Posted 9 Jul 2013 , 1:52am
post #9 of

Well I look at this two ways.

1. I assume no one would think one of Ben Israels' cakes is UGLY.

In all fairness though I'm sure someone has the courage to say they are ugly simply because they don't like his style. So to them its UGLY.

So you could have a perfect cake and still have people who can't properly communicate or don't bother to do so because they only think of themselves.

On the other hand, I think its always good to learn why the person feels that way. I think it would make you feel better as well.

If you sent her a kind message and simply said I was very interested in why you thought my cake was "UGLY" so that I can learn

better ways to make my cakes appealing. If she gave an answer say "I hate green how could you make a cake that was that color?" you know

its not you. If its something more its a learning experience. Either way I think you would feel better to know the reason. Heck you might even thank her in the

end. Maybe if it is a real reason or something you think a lot of brides would think you can fix it before going to the show.

 

2. If it was a bride who said this who knows what kind of bride she is. She might just be a bridezilla or a person who likes to cause drama.

smittyditty Posted 9 Jul 2013 , 1:53am

I'd like to add that I think it is still wrong that she posted that. People post their most awful thoughts on FB hence I'm not on anymore. lol

hbquikcomjamesl Posted 9 Jul 2013 , 3:06am

Yet another reason why
I.
Do.
Not.
Do.
Facebook.


Ever.


For any reason.



The cake looks fine to me. Not something I'd do, but that's more from not having the time, energy, or skill to do it, than from matters of taste.

BrandisBaked Posted 9 Jul 2013 , 3:13am

AI find something about it very unappealing as well. The skill is fine, just not my style. I wouldn't call it ugly at all, but some people have a limited vocabulary and no social graces. I wouldn't take it personally. There are different types of art and I Don't understand why anyone thinks Andy Warhol was great. .. but to each their own.

scrumdiddlycakes Posted 9 Jul 2013 , 3:27am

I'm a really sensitive person, and criticism when I don't ask for it just pisses me off.

Especially when it crosses the line from criticism to rudeness or nastiness. One of the reason I don't put much at all on FB.

If you think someone else's work is ugly, or not to your personal liking, why on Earth would you say so? Nobody is asking.

 

As you can tell, I'm sensitive :P

 

I'm sorry you had to see that, I hope the admin removed the comment.

Annabakescakes Posted 9 Jul 2013 , 3:38am

While I prefer a more old fashioned, romantic, softer look, I see the appeal ;-)

LoveMeSomeCake615 Posted 9 Jul 2013 , 3:56am

Thanks for the encouragement everyone! The admin did remove the comment. :) 

Quote:
Originally Posted by BrandisBaked 

I find something about it very unappealing as well. The skill is fine, just not my style. I wouldn't call it ugly at all, but some people have a limited vocabulary and no social graces. I wouldn't take it personally. There are different types of art and I Don't understand why anyone thinks Andy Warhol was great. .. but to each their own.

May I ask what you find "very unappealing" about it? I'm not trying to be pissy about it, I genuinely want to know. If there is something than can be improved, I'd like to try. 

Godot Posted 9 Jul 2013 , 4:52am
Quote:
Originally Posted by AnnieCahill 

  I think technology has made people mean, empty, and socially inept. 

 

People were mean, empty and socially inept long before technology. The lemming march (social media) just makes it more visible.

cakeyouverymuch Posted 9 Jul 2013 , 5:07am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Godot 

People were mean, empty and socially inept long before technology. The lemming march (social media) just makes it more visible.

 

THIS.

 

There is a certain sort of person who believes that because they have a mouth they must, therefore, speak and who verbalize every unsolicited thought they have no matter how inane, thoughtless or hurtful it might be.  Those people used to have limited reach because their lack of verbal filters would drive people away and they would eventually have no audience.  Technology just gives that sort a longer reach and enables them to reach out to strangers.  They have mouths, hence they must speak becomes they have fingers, hence they must type.

RubinaD Posted 9 Jul 2013 , 5:21am

AI would not say this is ugly. I love the colour green and your piping is amazing, i personally do not like the draped fondant. Maybe i do not understand your vision to appreciate why it was draped the way it was. But you did do an amazing job.

Annabakescakes Posted 9 Jul 2013 , 6:11am
Quote:
Originally Posted by LoveMeSomeCake615 

Thanks for the encouragement everyone! The admin did remove the comment. :) 

Quote:
Originally Posted by BrandisBaked 

I find something about it very unappealing as well. The skill is fine, just not my style. I wouldn't call it ugly at all, but some people have a limited vocabulary and no social graces. I wouldn't take it personally. There are different types of art and I Don't understand why anyone thinks Andy Warhol was great. .. but to each their own.

May I ask what you find "very unappealing" about it? I'm not trying to be pissy about it, I genuinely want to know. If there is something than can be improved, I'd like to try. 

I know you didn't ask me, but I would like to help, if I can.

 

I think the draping on the second tier down is a little flat, and flappy for my liking. And maybe it should be on the opposite diagonal from the top tier. (Rather than being parallel.) And the sticking-up bit on the middle tier is a bit out of place, and awkward, like they are left-overs from the second to bottom tier. Also, I think it should just end at the white gathered tier. The bottom doesn't seem to tie in with the overall look, and the big white balls don't go with the blingy swirls.

 

HTH, JMHO, take it or leave it, but I genuinely would like to help, and mean no offense.

johnson6ofus Posted 9 Jul 2013 , 6:50am

I agree with annacakes... but you have TONS more talent than me.

 

Love the top tier, love the bottom tier. I prefer symmetry, so I want to another "bling" tier, like the bottom one, done as the 3rd tier??? 2nd tier draping  has no "look" to it...IMHO

 

I would just LOVE this cake and really love the green. It is NOT ugly. And don't we all constantly do "re-dos" in our heads...? Artist curse...lol.
 

niniel1 Posted 9 Jul 2013 , 9:25am

I wouldn't take it personally, hard not to I know, but not everything you do will be to the taste of others. The person who commented on FB was a bit blunt and rude, but that's one opinion badly expressed. You can't please everyone. 

BrandisBaked Posted 9 Jul 2013 , 11:01am

ASince you asked me, I like the green, but I think there is too much draping/ruffles, and it doesn't look good to me. There's something about the second tier that ruins the look to me. But again, I am only speaking for myself.

gemmal Posted 9 Jul 2013 , 11:27am

Maybe they don't like green, or find draping too old fashioned for their tastes, or one of a hundred other things, maybe they are the type of person to order a 8 tier hot pink zebra print cake for their wedding which many people would look at and go 'ewwww' in their heads. I really think this is just preference, the advice from everyone else seems really helpful but yeah, not up to that level myself so can't comment on those but I really think it's a case of taking this with a pinch of salt. ALL social media now has given everyone an opinion without thinking because there are no consequences. Without thinking, people will go "Ewww, that cake is green/purple/girly/boyish/old fashioned/too modern/any other opinion" and then like peoplee above said, they just type it because, heck, its just a picture of a cake, not like someone actually spent hours lovingly crafting it and if they did, who cares, its not like they know them... Just think what would have come out of that persons mouth if they saw it in person with you standing behind the cake with an 'I made this' sign around your neck? Would they have still not liked it? Definitely but their response would have probably been something like 'It's just not my style'. On line is anonymous. There's a difference between constructive criticism and just being a jerk.

LoveMeSomeCake615 Posted 9 Jul 2013 , 12:30pm

Thanks for the feedback everyone. Yes, there are always things I would change about every cake I do, I am constantly analyzing it and wishing I had done some element of it differently. I see what you mean about the draping on the second tier, and I actually felt the same way about it, it just wasn't cooperating and draping how I wanted it, so I had to make it work the best I could. I was still pleased with the overall result, and still am, but I can definitely see things I would do differently next time. 

LoveMeSomeCake615 Posted 9 Jul 2013 , 12:37pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by BrandisBaked 

Since you asked me, I like the green, but I think there is too much draping/ruffles, and it doesn't look good to me. There's something about the second tier that ruins the look to me. But again, I am only speaking for myself.

Since you responded to my direct question, I wanted to respond back to you specifically. :)

 

I appreciate your honesty! In your opinion, would you have just left the draping on the second tier off completely? Would that improve the look? 

newbe86 Posted 9 Jul 2013 , 12:53pm

AI think your cake is beautiful! You are clearly extremely talented. Is this a cake I would choose for myself, probably not. Why? I'm not a big fan of green and I personally like clean lines, but my personal taste doesn't interfere with the fact that you are very talented.

luckylibra Posted 9 Jul 2013 , 1:06pm

I am sorry someone was so rude. I agree with those above who state there are people for whom the technology has made some more vocal and as a society we just seem to have more people with no social grace. I liked the cake but also agree the second tier draping looked a bit misplaced. I think if you used some of the elements from the bottom tier on the second instead of the draping it would be more balanced. Beautiful cake and I am sure it took a ton of time!

jmt1714 Posted 9 Jul 2013 , 1:21pm

AIf this is going to be a business for you, you just have to develop a thicker skin. If your client liked the cake and you are getting other business, who cares? You can't please everyone.

LoveMeSomeCake615 Posted 9 Jul 2013 , 2:06pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by jmt1714 

If this is going to be a business for you, you just have to develop a thicker skin. If your client liked the cake and you are getting other business, who cares? You can't please everyone.

I'm working on it! icon_smile.gif I've always been a very sensitive person, so it's taking me maybe a little longer than others to develop that "thicker skin". Having a business definitely helps, because it's forcing me to deal with it. 

 

I guess it just kind of came out of left field for me and caught me off guard. 

rica827 Posted 9 Jul 2013 , 2:39pm

Since you asked :), I would say for me, personally, I'm not a fan of that color green, and I'm not a fan of the mix of old fashioned draping and modern bling. I think it's the second tier that's throwing me off. I don't understand the purpose of that draping. However, that's my PERSONAL opinion. The faceless bully who wrote a mean comment is just that, a Facebook bully. Social media has taken away social consciousness. People hide behind a computer screen and type whatever they want. If that person was standing in front of you, he/she may have thought "that's an ugly cake", but I bet they wouldn't say it to your face.  "Pretty" and "ugly" are subjective. That person might think it's ugly, but the next person might want to order that exact same cake. Don't let it get to you :) You're never going to please everyone!
 

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