sometimes i really want to inform clients

Business By love2makecakes Updated 4 Jun 2010 , 3:08am by Mabma80

Mrs-A Posted 9 May 2010 , 10:55pm
post #91 of 127
Quote:
Originally Posted by Melvira

..... I'd certainly hate to think that people were looking at me and thinking I was gauche!! Now I'm a little embarassed!! icon_lol.gif



heheheehh... its ok.. i dont blame you, i can blame your folks if that helps icon_biggrin.gif
i guess we can always blame the lack of cake is the reason why some bonbonerie are opened up & eaten at the reception

or that there are just some very bad favors out there... like the CD of love songs and photos of the bride & groom from birth to wedding day, seriously i didnt need to hear "the lady in red" while looking at your highschool photos

or the stubbie holder with the bride & groom face on (i think you call this a cossie, its a neoprene thing that keeps your beer can cold-although for a sydney person a cossie is a bathing suit)

now im showing my bad manners by diss'ing wedding favors icon_redface.gif

mandymakescakes Posted 10 May 2010 , 1:03am
post #92 of 127
Quote:
Originally Posted by tmgarcia_98


Rather than have a meal, she had buffet lines of finger foods (chicken strips, mini egg rolls, stuffed mushrooms, etc) that were cold by time I got to eat. However, when I walked past the bride & groom's table........they were eating steak, grilled potatoes, salad, a whole spread!!!!!!

I would never serve snacks to my guests as I sat up there eating steak!!!




This happens more often than not... I worked for a hotel for a number of years and saw this several times. I always felt horrible serving up happy-hour style bar food to the guests while the B&G were mowing their way through a T-Bone and/or Lobster right there in front of everyone... at least eat it somewhere where your guests can't see!

Melvira Posted 10 May 2010 , 1:16am
post #93 of 127
Quote:
Originally Posted by mandymakescakes

This happens more often than not... I worked for a hotel for a number of years and saw this several times. I always felt horrible serving up happy-hour style bar food to the guests while the B&G were mowing their way through a T-Bone and/or Lobster right there in front of everyone... at least eat it somewhere where your guests can't see!




O...M...G. icon_surprised.gif
Mrs. A you're cracking me up... people blame their parents for a myriad of things. I never thought of blaming them for not teaching me wedding favor etiquette! Thanks for that giggle! I really needed it!

7yyrt Posted 10 May 2010 , 1:34am
post #94 of 127

The problem with favors that aren't consumable or disposable, is that most people already have too much 'stuff' hanging around their houses.

Now they either need to find a space for them, or feel bad by throwing them away.

Chasey Posted 10 May 2010 , 12:54pm
post #95 of 127

Oh my, there is "not knowing any better because it's a regional thing" and there is "OMG tacky!"

Being from the South, I probably have consumed the table favor while still at the reception! icon_lol.gif
On the other hand, if you leave me something to take home that commerates your wedding day or you've printed that all over cocktail napkins...errr, uh, yeah. I don't really plan on bringing that home. If I do stick it in my purse because you wanted me to, I'll feel guilty later when I throw it away. icon_sad.gif
I used champagne bottle shaped bubbles at each place setting. You could blow bubbles when we came in or you can give them to your kid when you get home. I assumed no one wanted my wedding date stamped on something laying around their house, lol! And I only created this "favor" because I was marrying a man who had family from the North. I felt pressure to do "something!"

I am STUNNED that bride and grooms actually order a fancier meal and eat it in front of their guests!!! I've never heard of this!

rosiecast Posted 10 May 2010 , 3:37pm
post #96 of 127

I HATE favors with a passion. well, I hate favors that are non-edible or not useful. candy, good, golf balls bad.

So for our wedding and because we live in NYC where it's tradition (not that I cared, but DH/Groomzilla did lol) the "favor" we gave were bookmarks sent to us from St. Jude's hospital stating that in our guests' honor we had given a donation to the hospital in lieu of favors. People were really touched and it even moved them to make their donations to St. Jude's or other charities.

Jayde Posted 12 May 2010 , 12:05am
post #97 of 127

I wasnt into the whole favor thing at our wedding either. I actually detest people who feel like they need to give me something, just because I spent the day at their wedding. Honestly, if I didnt like ya, I wouldnt have come.

At our wedding we contacted a local butterfly farm and got butterflies for everyone to release instead of bubbles or rice or bird seed. Original and most people thought it was really cool.

Sagebrush Posted 12 May 2010 , 4:42am
post #98 of 127
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jayde

At our wedding we contacted a local butterfly farm and got butterflies for everyone to release instead of bubbles or rice or bird seed. Original and most people thought it was really cool.




I love this idea... it would have been so much fun!

Mrs-A Posted 12 May 2010 , 5:11am
post #99 of 127
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sagebrush

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jayde

At our wedding we contacted a local butterfly farm and got butterflies for everyone to release instead of bubbles or rice or bird seed. Original and most people thought it was really cool.



I love this idea... it would have been so much fun!




had to pee on the idea but from the north american butterfly association: "Breeding butterflies for release into the wild at special events poses serious risks to wild butterfly populations and is not endorsed by conservationists"

http://www.naba.org/orgwed.html

i remembered this because when my nephew got married his wife was told all the reasons why it was wrong

7yyrt Posted 12 May 2010 , 3:02pm
post #100 of 127

Had to do a search on the butterfly thing...

Comments and explanations about regulations relating to butterfly breeding and butterfly releases.
http://www.butterflybreeders.org/public/permits/permitting_corner.html

Apparently, many need a USDA permit for release, "For most states 6-8 species are permitted for environmental release."
Image

Kima920 Posted 12 May 2010 , 4:53pm
post #101 of 127

Some of the story on here are just plain funny and crazy at the same time! Some of the things that people do are just too much.

Beside cakes I also do some event planning and I have a client who is getting married next year. She wants favor so I told her to do edible favors because why spend money on something that you guests really don't want or will just throw in the trash the minute the wedding is over.

I agree with Debi that it is just a way to get more money out of people..so where ever customers come to me I tell them that I do edible favors at least guests will eat it. I also told my client that she has to have guest welcome bags for her guests that are coming from out of town to attend her wedding. She didn't know what that was.

I think that couples/brides who are getting married really don't know anything about wedding etiquette. Or it can go the opposite... when they are watching shows like Platinum Weddings on WE and want the things that are shown not realizing that the show is called Platinum Weddings for a reason.

indydebi Posted 12 May 2010 , 5:47pm
post #102 of 127

Kima, I work nights in a hotel while going to school during the day and we frequently have 20-30 gift bags behind the desk, ready to give to the out of town wedding guests when they arrive. So if brides think it will be too much work to pass them out ... no problem!! The hotel is happy to help with that!

Kima920 Posted 12 May 2010 , 5:49pm
post #103 of 127

That is a really good idea Debi.

KHalstead Posted 12 May 2010 , 5:58pm
post #104 of 127
Quote:
Originally Posted by Melvira

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs-A

i always cringe by the behaviour - you are suppose to take them home folks



And see, some of us are so uneducated on that sort of thing that we have NO clue. Seriously, I would never mean it to be rude, but if it's candy or something I might certainly eat it depending on what other food type things were going on. Now, I'm not Catholic, and honestly have never been to a Catholic wedding, so maybe it is different. I'd certainly hate to think that people were looking at me and thinking I was gauche!! Now I'm a little embarassed!! icon_lol.gif





Oh man, I just went to my BFF's wedding and she's italian, her hubby's italian and they had the jordan almonds in the little net and she said it was "tradition" we all said...."oh cool.".......as we RIPPED THEM OPEN AND ATE THEM IN FRONT OF HER!!! She didn't say anything!! I'm such a dirtball!!!!!! icon_cry.gif

cai0311 Posted 13 May 2010 , 7:51pm
post #105 of 127

I am doing the cake for a wedding in July but the cake is only for the bridal party, parents and grandparents of the bride and groom. The couple is Italian and for dessert the guests are getting cannolis.

After explaining that a cake to feed 20 is small and really won't look like a traditional wedding cake for the pictures the bride opted to have a three tier cake but only the bottom tier is real cake.

I have a feeling some of the guests are going to get irritated because they didn't get cake. I think that considering the couple's background everyone would be okay with cannolis - if that is what everyone got. But seeing a three tiered cake, assuming there is enough for everyone, and then having to watch some eat the cake could get ugly.

Jayde Posted 14 May 2010 , 12:46am
post #106 of 127
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs-A

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sagebrush

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jayde

At our wedding we contacted a local butterfly farm and got butterflies for everyone to release instead of bubbles or rice or bird seed. Original and most people thought it was really cool.



I love this idea... it would have been so much fun!



had to pee on the idea but from the north american butterfly association: "Breeding butterflies for release into the wild at special events poses serious risks to wild butterfly populations and is not endorsed by conservationists"

http://www.naba.org/orgwed.html

i remembered this because when my nephew got married his wife was told all the reasons why it was wrong




Actually our butterflies were bred locally by our local botanical garden, they release into their garden frequently, actually its a big thing every year "the butterfly release." Since we had our wedding in their garden, they assured us that it was kosher to release the butterflies...

kjskid Posted 14 May 2010 , 1:29am
post #107 of 127

Ok, love2makecakes, I just have to say that your avatar picture is making me drool! icon_razz.gif

sugarMomma Posted 14 May 2010 , 1:53am
post #108 of 127

I was at a friend's wedding where butterflies were released. I thought, what a cool idea!

But they were kept in thin little envelope-like boxes which I thought was kind of cruel, and you could hear them struggling and trying to flap their constrained wings which made a lot of their "feathers" come off making flight difficult to impossible. I imagine putting them into the boxes didn't help their delicate wings. And they had been captive prisoners, squeezed in those boxes for at least 24 hours. Poor butterflies!

When it was time to release them most were dead, and the ones that weren't fluttered pitifully, didn't make it far then landed soon after and died. Children were horrified.

It was really sad. And the bride was such a nature lover. I would never recommend this for a wedding.

angelicconfections Posted 14 May 2010 , 2:24am
post #109 of 127

wow, some people. It amazes me how brides want a top $ gown, white stretch limo and cheap food.

We had a low budget wedding, under a 100 just close family and friends. I wanted our geusts to be able to relax and enjoy the chance to catch up with family and friends. So we had fewer people, served food I made myself, lots and lots of hot beefs along with salads and veggies bought at Sam's Club.

I admit I didn't know much about cakery then, other than baking and was inspired to make my own cake. I was talked out of it, thank goodness, but we kept our cake affordable by having a sheet cake with a small push in tier that was a heart. I got it from a good local bakery and while it wasn't stunning it was pretty and it tasted good.

My cousin's wedding cake cost around $1200 and tasted like sawdust. I make my cakes about quality including taste and I haven't heard any complaints yet. When I get sticker shock from brides I have learned to point out more affordable options like sheet cakes from Costco. icon_biggrin.gif

Chasey Posted 14 May 2010 , 11:59am
post #110 of 127

cai0311,

OMGosh that is awful!! Or maybe they are used to that kind of set up? But I can't imagine EVERY guest is Italian or a family member and would be okay with a cannoli. How weird!!! Does it really save them a lot of money to purchase all of those handmade desserts vs. a real 3 or 4 tier cake?

I would be one of those guests eyeballing the beautiful 3 tiered cake and waiting impatiently for my slice. icon_mad.gif

noahsmummy Posted 14 May 2010 , 1:25pm
post #111 of 127

ok seeing as we are talking wedding ettique i thought i may ask for some advice (sorry in advance if i ramble..=/)

an old work colleague of mine, who i was and sort of still am, very close to is getting married. Anyway, me being me, offer to do whatever i can to help, because i have no life and love a good wedding! hehe.

anyway, so engagment party, shes asks me to do the engagment cake for her! i jump at the chance, spend hours researching, invite her around, make little cupcakes for her to have a "tasting" and go over my research to help decided what she wants.

Anywho, shes says shell get back to me, she just need to figure out the cupcake stand etc. im getting all excited.. she never gets back to me =(. went to the engagment party, and she just had a "sheet cake" as you all call them.. lol. yea... CUT!

sooo, back to now, im still asking about wedding plans, still all excited, she asks me to do her bachelorette cake (well see if it eventuates...), and then asks if i can help with music, SURE! no probs=). i have an itunes library of 6,000 songs, so that fine by me.

Anyway, so then after i said thats fine by me.. she asks me if i can be the "dj" at her wedding. by which she means can i sit next to the speakers with an ipod to make sure the right songs are played at the right time......

Now, shes knows i have a very busy little 17 month old who will be coming along, and as im a single mum, there wont be anyone there who can take care of him... soo i used my son to get out of it .. hehe.. kids are excellent excuse makers!!

so, just wondering, am i right to find this incredibly rude? this girl i considered to be one of my closest friends who wanted to hide me away in a corner for her wedding? am i REALLY that embarrassing??!?! honestly ill probably have to make a quick get away with my son anyway.. dont see him lasting too long in a room full of "dont touches..."



oh also.. on the topic of whole open bar thing.. i for sure wont be having one if i ever get married. i dont even know if i will serve alcohol. im not big on it, and people close to me know my reasons and would respect that.. but yeah, no way would i want drunks wandering around everywhere.. ruining my big day..=(

Mrs-A Posted 14 May 2010 , 11:33pm
post #112 of 127
Quote:
Originally Posted by sugarMomma

I........ Children were horrified.
.......




im laughing over here at the image (not because of the poor butterflies) because then everyone goes to the reception and there is no cake so the kids are horrifed, the adults are horrified, therapy for all

margaretb Posted 15 May 2010 , 3:03am
post #113 of 127

There have always been wedding favours at weddings I went to, but they are always food. It used to be the mesh bag of square mints, but now it will usually be candy or chocolates. For my wedding, we used Jelly Bellies because Costco had just started carrying big bags of them. And most people opened them up and ate them while they were waiting for the bride/groom to appear and supper to be served.

As for birthday party grab bags, I refuse to do them. Yes, kids like them, but as far as I can tell, they mostly get dumped out and wasted. I just think there is too much expense and high expectation around parties. The one thing my kids DO get, though, is a good looking birthday cake!

noahsmummy Posted 15 May 2010 , 3:30am
post #114 of 127

i do lolly bags for my sons parties. but as far as i can rmemeber, we have always done them here. they are nothing fancy, just a bag full of lollies and maybe a tooter and a balloon or something... so the sugar rush can continue for the parents at home.. hehee

indydebi Posted 15 May 2010 , 6:24am
post #115 of 127

icon_lol.gif
Around here, a "tooter" is the noise you make when you pass gas (and I dont' mean a burp!) icon_lol.gif

noahsmummy Posted 15 May 2010 , 6:41am
post #116 of 127

hahaha well, im not sure how youd go about getting one iof those into a party bag? lmao. tooters are those little party horns you get.. and they "toot" when you blow them. lol

tinygoose Posted 15 May 2010 , 8:28am
post #117 of 127

Ahhh....I have had the pleasure of attending some interesting weddings.

Like the one where we were informed that we were paying for our own dinner (when we arrived at the restaurant), fortunately the restaurant was having trouble seating everyone (the couple had made reservations for about 60% of the guests) so we had no problem bowing out of that one.

Or the one where the couple hired a cross dresser and an over weight belly dancer to "entertain" the guests. The over weight belly dancer was literally rubbing her belly in the very embarrassed guests faces. It cleared the whole dinner room. Honestly, I don't remember the cake, we left soon after.

One of my favorites was the one were my then fiance (now DH) whispered to me as the bride walked down the isle. "So that's the mother of the bride?" Confused because she was wearing an ivory ballooned southern bell, funky 1700 century....god knows I can't describe it....looked like it was made out of burlap sack and she wore a tall ivory "grand pooh-bah" hat on top with a ivory tassle hanging off to one side. Oddest dress I've ever seen. My DH had met the groom outside, and he was a young normal looking man, and well the bride was at least 10 years his senior and fairly eccentric. It was all I could do to just lean over and whisper. "No dear, that IS the bride." I thought for half a moment my husband was going to shout out. "Dear God Man! Have you thought this through??!!" But he was good.

The reception that followed was just as interesting....I recall my favorite quote from that was right after the bouquet was thrown. I won't describe who caught it, but there were three literally diving for it, rolling around on the floor, all I saw was acres of taffeta, finally someone got away with it. One of the tipsier young men shouted. "Well, who's gonna marry her???!!!" Then he got a sharp elbow from him mom. Then turned to his mom in a loud voice and shrieked. "Weeeellll, who is??" My DH turned to me and said. "So ya ready to go?" "Yeah, I'm ready." I sort of remember some cake being thrown in the background, but I didn't stick around to catch my piece.

First two couples divorced shortly thereafter, the third has been married now for over 16 years.

Melnick Posted 15 May 2010 , 1:11pm
post #118 of 127

Wow! The more I read about weddings over there, the more it strikes me how different our weddings really are.

Here you tend to have an afternoon wedding. Around 3:00ish. The ceremony is what everyone comes to. Sometimes people you couldn't afford to invite to the wedding will come and watch the ceremony - like the parents of your friends, work mates etc. 4 Bridesmaids is considered to be a BIG wedding party. The FIRST time the groom sees the bride is when she walks down the aisle. After the ceremony, the guests congratulate you and take some photos with you. Then the bridal party goes off to have photos together. Most of the guests find something to do for an hour or so - often you go somewhere for coffee or a drink.

The guests then make their way to the reception venue. Often it will start anytime between 5:00 and 6:00 where predinner drinks and hors d'oeuvres are served. The guests are then seated and the bridal party arrives. You would NEVER invite someone to the reception that wasn't invited to the ceremony. And you absolutely feed everyone at the reception - the same food that the Bride and Groom are eating!

For the majority of weddings I've been to, the cake was cut up and left on the coffee table or offered to guests where they were seated, not used as dessert. This is because it pretty much costs the same to give your guests dessert and then serve the wedding cake as it does to have the wedding cake plated up for dessert. I can't say that I care either way if I get a piece of wedding cake or not. And our wedding cakes tend to be mudcakes but I have never had a torted wedding cake.

An average wedding is 80 - 120 people (at least for the weddings I've been to). An intimate wedding is 40 - 60 people. Italian and Greek weddings are the exception and I've heard they are around 300 - 400 but there aren't many venues that can accommodate those numbers.

I know that cocktail parties are gaining popularity but most people would rather a sit-down meal.

I know I am generalising in a huge way about our weddings and probably another Aussie would contradict what I have said but I find the stories I've been reading on here so strange. It seems that the majority of weddings are around 200+ guests. Is that the case? Maybe it's just the crazy ones that have weddings that big? And why are there such big bridal parties? And why would a bride and groom ask people to be in their bridal party if they don't like them?

Oh - and for my favors, I had little organza bags filled with white jellybeans. The guests LOVED it. They ate them while they were waiting for their meals. I also had chocolate hearts scattered over the table which people appreciated too.

Jayde Posted 20 May 2010 , 12:44am
post #119 of 127
Quote:
Originally Posted by sugarMomma

I was at a friend's wedding where butterflies were released. I thought, what a cool idea!

But they were kept in thin little envelope-like boxes which I thought was kind of cruel, and you could hear them struggling and trying to flap their constrained wings which made a lot of their "feathers" come off making flight difficult to impossible. I imagine putting them into the boxes didn't help their delicate wings. And they had been captive prisoners, squeezed in those boxes for at least 24 hours. Poor butterflies!

When it was time to release them most were dead, and the ones that weren't fluttered pitifully, didn't make it far then landed soon after and died. Children were horrified.

It was really sad. And the bride was such a nature lover. I would never recommend this for a wedding.




OMG! I am appalled! Ours were in small crystal clear boxes and I am happy to say that NONE were dead.

Minstrelmiss Posted 25 May 2010 , 3:35pm
post #120 of 127
Quote:
Originally Posted by Melvira

Ok, actually, I DO make wedding potatoes! icon_redface.gif





hehehehe, no offense taken icon_biggrin.gif

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