Bummed. Need To Vent.

Lounge By Sugarflowers Updated 8 Mar 2010 , 4:50am by JustToEatCake

Sugarflowers Posted 7 Mar 2010 , 4:09am
post #1 of 15

The saying that when life gives you lemons make lemonade doesn't really work if the lemons are rotten. What am I supposed to do when I get hit with so many problems? I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis 9 1/2 years ago. It caused me to have to close the bakery/sandwich shop I had opened only 9 months before. It has now causing what is called "Pseudo Visceral Syndrome". This means that my brain is getting signals that my internal organs are on the fritz. Medications for congestive heart failure don't work because I don't have CHF, but my heart is racing most of the time and my blood pressure varies widely from low normal to alarmingly high. My liver hurts, my stomach is cold indicating poor circulation to the spleen, I retain water (poor kidney function), and feeling like I'm totally drained almost every day. Recently my legs give out on me more quickly than ever, so if I want to do more than lie in bed I have to have a wheelchair. The MS also makes my skin feel like I have a sunburn. This one is humorous because I cannot be in the sun for more than a few minutes. I can't eat much because it causes more pain. This one really stinks because I don't lose any weight. At 1200-1400 calories a day I should be stick thin. However, I am considered to be obese. Lovely. Even when I do eat everything must be bland. Any thing with spice makes me physically ill and causes more pain.

I am so sick of being sick. I am stuck in the house all day except when I go to the doctor's office. The Austin cake show was my first trip in over a year that wasn't a trip to the hospital. By the way, I had 7 hospital stays in 2009.

I would like to think I'm a decent person. I do my best to treat people well and do what is right. So why do I get all this garbage on me? This doesn't include all the family garbage that is dumped in my lap.

Yes, I am feeling sorry for myself. There are so many people in the world who are complete jerks and are nice and healthy. They have interesting lives. Mine is lonely, painful, and boring.

I believe God has plans for all of us. I just wish he would give me a hint of why I have to go through this.

Sorry for such a downer post. I just really needed to say this without upsetting my family.

Thanks

Michele

14 replies
mommicakes Posted 7 Mar 2010 , 4:41am
post #2 of 15

Michelle, I am sorry to hear you are having a bad time, I truly am. My heart goes out to you. I can understand somewhat of how you feel, my mother is feeling some of those same feelings you are having now. Your post brought tears to my eyes, and just wanted to say that I will be praying for you and hoping you get a little relief soon, although I know it is unlikely. Keep your chin up though, it won't hurt.

LaBellaFlor Posted 7 Mar 2010 , 4:59am
post #3 of 15

I will praying for strength and insight for you.

Sugarflowers Posted 7 Mar 2010 , 5:05am
post #4 of 15

mommicakes, I'm so sorry to hear about your mom. Does she have MS as well? I think MS is the least understood illness of all the many horrible illnesses. I'll pray for her for whatever is afflicting her.

Michele

Loucinda Posted 7 Mar 2010 , 5:17am
post #5 of 15

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} I am sorry you are having such a difficult time - you are a wonderful artist, and we are very thankful that you are so willing to help others. I will keep you in my prayers.

mkolmar Posted 7 Mar 2010 , 5:18am
post #6 of 15

My aunt has MS and is getting closer every year to a wheelchair. So hard to watch her go down hill and know there is nothing you can do to help.
(((BIG HUG))) I'm sorry you are feeling so awful. You'll be in my thoughts.

Margieluvstobake Posted 7 Mar 2010 , 5:25am
post #7 of 15

I'm so sorry for the difficult time you are going through. As soon as I read your post I said a prayer for you. You are right. God does have a plan for all things, but we don't always know what that plan is, and we may never know this side of heaven. I wish there was something I could say to make you feel better. Sometimes putting down in writing (like you have done here) can help how you feel. I hope it does. Remember your cake buddies are always here to listen.

jsmith Posted 7 Mar 2010 , 5:32am
post #8 of 15

Aw, I'm sorry you're having such problems. You're such a talented artist. MS is a horrible disease. Someone in my church has it and it has completely disabled her. I wish there were a cure for it. I will keep you in my prayers too. hugs.

mommicakes Posted 7 Mar 2010 , 6:14am
post #9 of 15

Thank you Sugarflowers, No my mom doesn't have MS, but, she has had very severe arthritis for many, many years, she has been on all of the new meds, including injectibles every day, the steroids, and much more, she has both osteoarthritis, and rheumetoid arthritis, and it has effected her movement. One bright side, she does have a wonderful doctor, he in my opinion is the best. icon_smile.gif She can't really walk, and like you, she doesn't leave her house except for dr. appts. she uses a wheelchair most of the time, if she does go anyplace. It has been very hard watching her.

I am sorry to hijack your thread, I can truly say I get how you feel it is heartbreaking to hear of anyone suffering so.
So when you say you are feeling very poorly, I can totally understand. I will keep praying for you everyday.

costumeczar Posted 7 Mar 2010 , 3:07pm
post #10 of 15

I'm so sorry, this sounds like an awful situation that has to just be frustrating the heck out of you. I hope that your doctors can figure something out to give you some relief from the symptoms. icon_sad.gif

Sugarflowers Posted 7 Mar 2010 , 3:23pm
post #11 of 15

Thank you every one. You have been very helpful.

I wish the doctors could give me some relief too, but... on top of everything else I have very bad reactions to medications or they don't work at all. One med put me in the hospital for 3 days with full body muscle spasms. Because it takes SO much medication to stop the spasms the doctors think I'm a junkie. I look like I'm having a Grand Mal seizure, but fully conscious. This freaks out everyone. After one of these episodes that is an intensive full body workout. I'm incredibly sore and not one pound lighter. icon_sad.gif

Thanks again to all.

Michele

p.s. mommicakes, you did not hijack my post. I asked about your mom. I'm so sorry to hear that she is suffering so much.

dailey Posted 7 Mar 2010 , 4:14pm
post #12 of 15

i am sorry to hear you are going through this. i will keep you in my prayers everyday...

mrspriss0912 Posted 7 Mar 2010 , 4:38pm
post #13 of 15

I am so sorry to hear this. I will keep you in and your doctors in my prayers.
{{{{{{{{{{{{{ HUG}}}}}}}}}}}}}} Keep the faith!

JulieMN Posted 7 Mar 2010 , 6:49pm
post #14 of 15

I am so sorry to hear of your struggles. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.

JustToEatCake Posted 8 Mar 2010 , 4:50am
post #15 of 15

You have every right to complain! We are here to listen. I'm so sorry you are suffering. I hope soon it will be better. If you aren't already please speak to your doc about depression, it only makes things feel worse.

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