ok so new years eve is a good few months away, however a friend of mine is getting married then, and wants me to do her cake, 3tier stacked, in white and silver with hundreds of small roses cascading all over, ive tried telling her i cant do it, i want to spend christmas week enjoying the festivities with my children and dh not slaving in the kitchen,
she dosent seem to get what im saying, i feel like im being backed into a corner, ive told her straight go to a bakery, but no she still tries to convince me, apart from screaming in her face i am not making your cake my children come first at that time of year, i dont know what else to say,
what would you do

keep telling her no. do you know of any good cake decorators or bakeries in your area you could suggest to her? she should get the message then.

my son was born on new years eve. i did the big party thing for his first birthday (on the day) and i have promised my self i will never do it again. it is just far too much, and i end up just a grouch for his party because i havnt sleep in about 2 months... (i do gingerbread houses in the lead up to chirssy.. so its non stop for me! haha)

you just need to keep telling her until she gets the message. if it takes screaming at her; do it.

Last Christmas I (stupidly) took a cake booking for December 27th and another for January 2nd. That meant that I was working on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, and New Year's Eve and New Year's Day. Never again! Don't care who it's for!

You spend so much time preparing for Christmas, looking forward to family times and festivities - and I missed it!!

These two clients were in a bind because no one else would do their cake during the Christmas holidays so I felt bad for them. As a result, I sacrificed my family's needs for their needs. Sacrifice is not always a bad thing - I try to do whatever I can to help someone out. But at some point you have to draw the line and put your own family first. When you're in this type of business, you are already sacrificing your weekends, your summers (because that's when most of the wedding season is), and most other holidays.

If you have a wedding cake for New Year's Eve, it's not like you're only working that one day. You have a day for baking, a day for decorating and a day for set-up and delivery. Plus if there's sugarpaste or other detail work, that's more time. You have also have to shop for supplies - that's more time again! It's not just one day!

I kicked myself for disappointing my family. They are so good and understanding for the rest of the year that they didn't deserve to be ignored at Christmas because of my work. As a result, I resented every minute I spent away from them.

Right now, you have a couple of options:

- take the order and all the consequences, or
- give her a list of referrals for bakers in the area, or
- offer her a dummy cake (maybe you have one left over from a show)

Take it from me, it's just not worth it!

I would tell her you'll make it if she helps you!!!!!!!

I'm sorry she keeps pestering you when you have already given her your answer..."No." I would tell her ONE MORE TIME and firmly that you aren't going to do the cake and why. No friend would really want you to be miserable and working over the holidays when all you want to do is relax with your family. I would end the conversation by telling her she better start looking for a cake elsewhere soon and get on somebody's calendar or she might be without a cake altogether.

It is just so rude for people to not take no for an answer...especially a friend. She really needs to respect your decision in my opinion.

ok so she phones me and says, "cheryl can you do me a practice run of my wedding cake please"
i say NO im sorry i am not making your wedding cake, she says pretty pretty please i say ok i tell you what, if you help i will do it (thanks KHalstead ) she says ok your on, so i tell her right ok then dont make plans on christmas day, boxing day etc, because i will need you on this cake,
she said OH i cant do that what about my kids i cant leave em "silence"
woohoooo the penny finally dropped

thanks guys for your support big thanks hugs coming your way

Glad she finally got it. You did a great job helping her to see what she was asking you to give up! Now it's clear to her WHY you didn't want to do her cake. Nicely handled.

I would have done it, just quote her a price for the cake then a PITA fee for it having to miss the holidays with your family of an additional $500,000 dollars/pounds for each of those holiday days missed. You would make a little over a million...LOL!

lol!! I tell ya, it works every time. I have a friend (good friend too) that used to order tons of elaborate cakes, I used to always give her a deal on them and she knew she was getting a deal and always said I didn't "have to" but accepted the reduced rate anyhow.

One time I told her I was swamped and would do it if she helped....she said OOOHHH sounds like fun. Well after working for about 16 hrs. on the cake over the course of 2 days and only being halfway finished she threw her arms up in the air and said this ISN"T worth all the time and effort it takes!! I said, what...aren't you having fun??? She said "I don't know how you do it". She orders from me still but she always pays full price (she will NOT accept any discount now) and always gives me a very generous TIP on top of that. And she's always sure to remind me........"you deserve this tip....it looks amazing and I KNOW how much work you put into them"

some people don't realize and others are so quick to have you give up time with YOUR family.........but when they have to give up time with THEIR family it's a whole different story!!

What if you were to make a dummy cake in advance and she could serve kitchen cakes. The kitchen cakes could potentially be made in advance and frozen so noone would have to miss out on Christmas or be too stressed out. Just a thought. I would have said no to baking over Christams too so I am glad that you don't have to do that.

It is so true that family has to be put first. I am realizing that even more now that my kids are starting school full time and I suddenly realized they are growing up. LOL. I didn't expect to be so emotional when my daughter started the first day of grade 1.

oh cake-angel..you ARE an angel..........I think that's an awesome idea.......as long as your only problem WAS the timing and not that you just didn't want to make the cake at all! Of course then the bride will probably start begging her to make the sheet cakes too saying "they're only sheet cakes, the main cake will be done.....come on please???????"

KHalstead, that is a great story! I did a cake for a good friend's wedding this past New Year's Eve, and I have 3 of my 4 kids' birthdays in December along with Christmas. I will NEVER EVER do it again! I also work a full time job, so by the time late Dec. came along I was so run down, I got sick with a sinus/upper respiratory virus, and had to get antibiotics, so I could stand up long enough to set up the cake! She was a doll and loved it, and told me how much she truly appreciated it. Needless to say, I had a few glasses of wine at the reception, but talk about stress. The Holidays are for family, and I agree, you should definitely put family first!

I'm glad she finally got the hint!!!

Now this thread has got me dreading the NYE wedding cake I've agreed to do....
I like the sheet cake & premade dummy idea...