What Is Wrong With People?! (Vent)

Decorating By lindseyelaine Updated 9 Mar 2010 , 3:28am by JulieMN

lindseyelaine Posted 2 Mar 2010 , 5:40am
post #1 of 76

I have this bride who is driving me CRAZY! She contacted me after seeing one of my cakes at a birthday party with a very low budget. Ok, I can work with that. Instead of working within her budget of $150, I decided to give her extra because I am just starting out and want the experience. Big mistake.

We have been communicating through e-mail and every one of them she ends with "please reply asap" but then won't get back to me for days at a time, and her wedding is in 3 weeks! Every e-mail she asks for a little extra: a bigger cake for the same price, a groom's cake with no extra charge..etc.

I keep telling her that I need to meet with her to sign the contract and get the deposit but she doesn't reply. She hasn't even picked flavors! She says "I don't like cake. Do you have suggestions for flavors?" Then I make suggestions but she doesn't like them.

I'm bending over backwards for a cake that isn't even worth my while! In my contract I require full payment 2 weeks before the event, which is the same for any other bakery in this area. This saturday is two weeks before her wedding so I told her the payment will be due then.

She e-mails me today and says "my mother in law is not comfortable with paying you before we receive the cake. I think the way she works with other caterers has been to give a deposit. Is this normal protocal or do you just need money?"

What the heck am I supposed to say to that? I am so frustrated. I don't understand how someone could act this way when she knows that i have given her a huge discount and with such short notice. I don't even want to do this cake anymore.

75 replies
AmandaLP Posted 2 Mar 2010 , 5:59am
post #2 of 76

Then dont do it.

Tell her that your policies are there for a reason, and if she does not feel comfortable complying with them, then perhaps she should choose another baker.

And, double your price when she comes back, because it is now a "last minute cake" icon_smile.gif

Mrs-A Posted 2 Mar 2010 , 6:03am
post #3 of 76
Quote:
Originally Posted by lindseyelaine

........ She e-mails me today and says "my mother in law is not comfortable with paying you before we receive the cake. ......




i dont make cakes for people but i would be dumping her - what are you suppose to do, chase after in laws during the reception to get paid while you have already spent your time and money on it. bet you they are the type to complain on the day and demand a discount

i would be telling her contract needs to be signed and cake paid by this date (2 weeks prior) or you will be accepting another booking

goodluck!

sugarandslice Posted 2 Mar 2010 , 6:09am
post #4 of 76

Tell her that not only is it your policy but that it is very common practice for wedding cakes to be paid in full two weeks before the wedding.
Be firm but polite: "this is my policy, if I do not have full payment by X date and a contract signed, I will unfortunately be unable to make the cake for you"

Butterfly27 Posted 2 Mar 2010 , 6:09am
post #5 of 76

Sounds to me like this bride is going to be a PITA no matter what. She is already trying to get something for nothing by asking you to do a grooms cake with no extra charge. She won't keep in touch with you on a regular basis. She keeps changing her mind on the details and size of the cake.

This bride sounds like a nightmare. A wedding cake takes time to plan and it seems like she will keep changing her mind on details all the way up to the last minute before the wedding. Like you could just say Abbra Kadabbra and change the cake design magically.

And besides, I have never heard of a baker allowing a person to not pay the full price before deliver. Every bakery in my area requires the full payment 2 weeks before the due date. I mean what if they didn't pay you til they got the cake and then there is something they didn't like about it and refused to pay you the full price.

Sounds like one big headache after another that you just don't need. If I were you I would just tell her that you cannot accomadate her needs and that you wish her the best finding another baker and just move on. HTH. Good Luck! thumbs_up.gif

ramacake Posted 2 Mar 2010 , 6:09am
post #6 of 76

I would tell her that is is definately normal protocol!!! Every decorator I know gets paid in full at least a week or more before the wedding. If it is not paid for and contracts signed when you specify,tell her that you will not do it!!! Even if she went to Sam's or Costco or a grocery store, she would have to pay in full in advance.

If she dosen't pay in advance, then you won't have to do a cake that you won't want to do anyway.

It seems like every time you try to do something out of the ordinary to be nice to a bride on a budget, it always turns around and bites you. Been there, done that.

Bluehue Posted 2 Mar 2010 , 6:15am
post #7 of 76
Quote:
Originally Posted by lindseyelaine

She e-mails me today and says "my mother in law is not comfortable with paying you before we receive the cake. I think the way she works with other caterers has been to give a deposit. Is this normal protocal or do you just need money?"
Email her back and state -
On reflection, i am not happy with this whole situation and wish to advise that you and your MIL find another *caker*
I have explained my terms and have been helpful in every aspect.
However, my guidelines are not being met nor understood.
What the heck am I supposed to say to that? I am so frustrated. I don't understand how someone could act this way when she knows that i have given her a huge discount and with such short notice. I don't even want to do this cake anymore.
Some orders are just not worth the headache and drama - and this is one of them.
From what you have written - this is one wedding cake you will regret making.
There will be no *happy ending* that is for sure, especially with the MIL being as she is.
Another wedding will come along - thumbs_up.gif

Bluehue


indydebi Posted 2 Mar 2010 , 6:18am
post #8 of 76

My father in law has a saying: "If you give people a hand up, not only do they not appreciate it, but they EXPECT it from that point on." (aka "But you did it LAST time!")

Best advice is to dump her.

Should you decide to continue the business relationship, you send her one email that says, and one email only that says simply and firmly (and yes, I HAVE sent this email before):

"The flavor of your cake is the least of your worries. Your wedding is three weeks away. If I dont' have CASH payment in full AND a signed contract in my hand inside of the next 5 days, I will not show up at your wedding with a cake. I am available Tuesday afternoon and Thursday morning. Please let me know which day works best for you and what time you will be here."

And then stick to it. Period.

Bunsen Posted 2 Mar 2010 , 6:25am
post #9 of 76

If you don't want to deal with this anymore then you are perfectly within your rights to get out now!

If you still want to go ahead you need to tell her that your terms are the industry standard and she can check this with any other baker, you need payment in full and all details confirmed by the 2 weeks deadline and after that there will be no changes. Remind her that the contract is with her and not her MIL so you deal with her for payment regardless of who is actually stumping up the cash. And since she sounds like a prime candidate for weaseling for a refund after the fact make sure you have everything in writing and a watertight contract!

Good luck, she sounds like a nightmare!

handsomepants Posted 2 Mar 2010 , 6:48am
post #10 of 76

One thing that I've learned in my plant business (yes, I'm a horticulturalist AND a cake guy) is that if the client is giving you a hard time for EVERYTHING, even after you have bent over backwards to make things right when you weren't at fault in the first place, the best thing to do is cut your losses and get out. It's better to get out of a bad situation early rather than lose money on something that ultimately is NOT going to go the way it should.

DON'T do what Buddy from "Cake Boss" (the TV show) did after the bride, who didn't like how white the cake was, proceeded to smear colored frosting all over it when he went in the other room. His first reaction was correct..."Good-Bye"! But then he caved-in and did another BIGGER cake (with color) and she still didn't care for it, ON THE DAY OF THE WEDDING!!

Drop the client and move on! Good luck!

jillmakescakes Posted 2 Mar 2010 , 1:20pm
post #11 of 76

"Dear PITA bride,

Please know that with your wedding date fast approaching, the terms of your contract need to be finalized no later than XXXXX date. At that time, payment in full, in CASH is expected. If this is unaceptable to you, then please accept my best wishes on your upcoming wedding as I will not be making your wedding cake.

I am available to meet XX and XX at XX time. The meeting should take approximately 30 minutes. I will need to know today which meeting time you would prefer.
Thank you,

Me "

all4cake Posted 2 Mar 2010 , 2:02pm
post #12 of 76

In the subject line: FINAL NOTICE

Details finalized, contract signed and order paid in full by 6:00p.m.(be specific with time zone too), Saturday, March 6, 2010 if you desire me to create your wedding cake.

(your name)

and leave it at that...ignore all emails after that date unless you include a "this order WILL incur a rush fee after 6:00, Saturday, March 6,2010 for this order" statement in your email.

pianocat Posted 2 Mar 2010 , 2:34pm
post #13 of 76

Dear bride:
I thank you for giving me the opportunity to give you a price quote on your wedding cake. I am however, no longer in a position to do the cake. As I stated before, payment is due 2 weeks prior to delivery date. At this point, we have no finalized plans for the cake, and no signed contract securing that date for you. I made my policies known to you, and you are uncomfortable with them, so I suggest that you find another cake decorator who is comfortable with your terms. This will probably not be easy as the policies I have are standard for most decorators. I wish you well in your upcoming wedding.

Walk away from this as you don't need the headache this will bring you!

erinalicia Posted 2 Mar 2010 , 3:09pm
post #14 of 76

I'd personally tell her to take a flying leap. If it isn't worth your time to do it, I wouldn't do it. Simply tell her that you have not received a signed contract nor deposit and like all other bakeries who do wedding cakes you require payment in full before you BAKE, let alone deliver a finished cake, and that final payment is due This Saturday or there will be no cake and she can fend for herself.

As for her budget and her asking for bigger and better without paying for it. You need to stick to your guns. I'd tell her, for $150, this is what I can/will do, nothing more, nothing extravagant, and if there isn't enough cake, I'd tell her she needs to increase her budget or get to baking some cupcakes herself, or better yet, let her know-it-all MIL bake the bloomin' cake.

Sagebrush Posted 2 Mar 2010 , 3:17pm
post #15 of 76

Loving the responses!

Please post what you end up doing and whatever the results are for our further entertainment icon_biggrin.gif

TexasSugar Posted 2 Mar 2010 , 3:42pm
post #16 of 76
Quote:
Originally Posted by lindseyelaine


She e-mails me today and says "my mother in law is not comfortable with paying you before we receive the cake. I think the way she works with other caterers has been to give a deposit. Is this normal protocal or do you just need money?"




This to me, is the big red flag. She doesn't want to pay you ahead of time, though has no problem asking for more and more free stuff. This to me will be one of those situations when you get there with the cake, and it won't be what she wanted, even though she isn't paying for half of it, and they will refuse to pay you.

auntbeesbaking Posted 2 Mar 2010 , 3:45pm
post #17 of 76

She e-mails me today and says "my mother in law is not comfortable with paying you before we receive the cake. I think the way she works with other caterers has been to give a deposit. Is this normal protocal or do you just need money?"

What the heck am I supposed to say to that? I am so frustrated. I don't understand how someone could act this way when she knows that i have given her a huge discount and with such short notice. I don't even want to do this cake anymore.[/quote]

I would be telling her I no longer feel comfortable doing her cake since she has not respected your policies. Whose to say they wouldn't feel comfortable paying you after seeing the cake?! It's rude and insulting. Your reputation is worth protecting. She may tell her single friends that you are a pushover and can get away with murder. I would run, not walk away!

cakesbycathy Posted 2 Mar 2010 , 6:44pm
post #18 of 76

Dump her. now.

Aurora_333 Posted 2 Mar 2010 , 7:02pm
post #19 of 76

Run, run away as fast as you can. She just wants a free cake. Be sure to tell her Good Luck finding another baker.

Dolledupcakes Posted 2 Mar 2010 , 7:05pm
post #20 of 76

She e-mails me today and says "my mother in law is not comfortable with paying you before we receive the cake. I think the way she works with other caterers has been to give a deposit. Is this normal protocal or do you just need money?"

/quote]

What the #$%! icon_mad.gif ? Are you serious? I cant believe she sent that to you knowing you are doing her a favor. Dump the b*%$@. icon_mad.gif
Oh some people have the nerve.
Save yourself the stress and walk away.

CristyInMiami Posted 2 Mar 2010 , 7:15pm
post #21 of 76
Quote:
Originally Posted by auntbeesbaking


I would be telling her I no longer feel comfortable doing her cake since she has not respected your policies. Whose to say they wouldn't feel comfortable paying you after seeing the cake?! It's rude and insulting. Your reputation is worth protecting. She may tell her single friends that you are a pushover and can get away with murder. I would run, not walk away!





I totally agree. She is going to find something wrong and refuse to pay. People are sneaky and dishonest.

Dolledupcakes Posted 2 Mar 2010 , 7:28pm
post #22 of 76
Quote:
Originally Posted by auntbeesbaking



I totally agree. She is going to find something wrong and refuse to pay. People are sneaky and dishonest.




I agree with your statement. People are sneaky and dishonest. How do they sleep at night?

Chasey Posted 2 Mar 2010 , 7:57pm
post #23 of 76

I think that was insulting or snippy to say "or do you just need the money?"

Welllll...you are in this business to make money and yes, her ingredients will cost money, but to insinuate you don't have a penny of your own to make her cake is just rude! And I find it a little strange her MIL is paying for the cake and not in contact with you at all.

I would love to know how you responded to her. My response would be "nope, don't need the money or the hassle. Have a nice wedding and good luck." icon_twisted.gif

Nytepyre Posted 2 Mar 2010 , 7:57pm
post #24 of 76

Gotta say I agree with the other bakers, you've got to put your foot down and say "this is how it is, or get steppin'!" I paid in full for my personal wedding cake, 50% deposit before the tasting to hold the date and then in full 3 weeks before the wedding. (Which I did 4 weeks before since I'm crazy about deadlines)

I think indydebi gave great advice, as usual!

Madiken Posted 2 Mar 2010 , 8:17pm
post #25 of 76

Do NOT do this cake!

Dolledupcakes Posted 2 Mar 2010 , 8:27pm
post #26 of 76

I just got off the phone with a wedding couple who I met with a couple of weeks ago. I had to drop them. They were giving me such a hard time. They are having a wedding of 80 guest. Sooo they need a cake for 80. They asked me how big the cake was going to be, so I pulled out my chart and wrote down the sizes. The groom is having a fit. He wants the cake to be taller than 3 tiers. He also thinks the bottom tier is too small. Then, the groom has the nerve to ask if I could make a cake for 120 guest, but they only need 80 servings out of it. Sooo... he wants to only pay for a cake that serves 80, and I eating the cost for the rest of the cake. Take it as a loss?! Yeah right. No thank you. I offered them several options. They just don't want to pay it.

So, don't do the cake. It won't be worth it.

EvMarie Posted 2 Mar 2010 , 8:35pm
post #27 of 76

What a bummer! Big time - not sure what's wrong with people. You are a "baker" not a servant. I DO think it's "major" rude to say..."do you just need the money"? It's just plain disrespectful. I don't sell cakes...but there are definitely policies exactly like those you chose to communicate to the bride. I've heard about them here on CC, just by accident. I think she's just being sneaky...because she thinks she can.

You stated that you wanted the experience because you are just starting out. Well, if this is the way this bride and MIL are gonna be, don't think for one second they are going to speak tons of kind words about you to all who attend the wedding.

If you want to get experience, just get it. (With out the PITA bride headache) Pick a cake just above what your skill level is and try to replicate it. Even if it's just one tier. That's what I've been doing with my cookies.

DON'T COMPROMISE YOUR WORTH!!!! Don't be afraid of walking away from an order.

KHalstead Posted 2 Mar 2010 , 8:36pm
post #28 of 76
Quote:
Originally Posted by lindseyelaine



She e-mails me today and says "my mother in law is not comfortable with paying you before we receive the cake. I think the way she works with other caterers has been to give a deposit. Is this normal protocal or do you just need money?"




i would tell her that normally you DO take deposits, but that would have been the protocal months ago, now her FINAL payment is DUE but since she hasn't made ANY payments as of yet, she needs to pay the entire balace due THIS saturday!

Tell her to try and walk into wal-mart and pay a portion of the cost of one of THEIR cakes, and see if they let her walk out the door with it!!

Rosa2745 Posted 2 Mar 2010 , 8:48pm
post #29 of 76

Looks to me like she's the broke one that can dish out the $150 for her own cake. Dump her!

MyDiwa Posted 2 Mar 2010 , 8:49pm
post #30 of 76
Quote:
Originally Posted by lindseyelaine

She e-mails me today and says "... Is this normal protocal or do you just need money?"




Response?

Oh I'm so embarrassed you caught me! I actually DO need money. So between my huge embarrasment and your mother-in-law's protocol, I think it's best we no longer work together. I'd be too ashamed that i tried to get you to give me money for the cake my bakery is providing for your wedding.

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