So today's been a good day. I finally booked my and my mom's trip to Italy! It is seriously a dream come true! I can't wait!!!!

Well, then I start talking to my cousin. He mentions that he talked to my sister. My sister and I don't talk - at all. She is making decisions in her life that are not all in line with how we were raised. She has alienated herself from the family. So whenever anyone mentions her name, yes, I cringe. It sounds so bad. What's worse is that I don't want her talking to my cousin. He's the best kid ever and I don't trust her around him. Heck, I don't trust her period.

Anyway, I'm annoyed at myself that I let this bug me. I shouldn't. She's been like this for 1.5 years and I don't see a change coming soon. But even more, it's stupid. My cousin is a smart kid. We get along real great.

I should be happy - I'm going to freakin' Italy with my mom! My mom deserves this more than anyone! I feel so happy/blessed that I can give this to her. I need to focus on that - not the stupid stuff my sister does.

well, we can't pick our family.

But on the other hand just cause you don't want anything to do with her right now, does not mean that the rest of the family has to cut her off.

enjoy your trip

That's true. - about not picking our family.

And honestly, I didn't cut her out. Last time I reached out to her, she hurt me really bad. She's hurt our parents in ways I could have never expected. And I guess I just don't think it's fair that she think she can go around town thinking/acting like she did nothing wrong and all is fine and dandy. It's over and what happened happened, and honestly I don't ever think of her unless someone mentions her. It still hurts. I still hurt.

I just need to vent. Please let me do that.

(Man, idk why - but this just really hit me. I haven't been hit by this whole thing in a long time. Dang it! Just when everything is going great I let her situation suck me back down. sigh)

edited to add:
@peg Please don't take like I was attacking you. I soooo know that you were not attacking my situation!!! Dude, you posted a response so that great! I guess I just got tired of hearing from family member's her version of the story where we are the bad guys. Hearing your words reminded me of those times.

Urrgh - I just need to focus on Italy!!! I'm going to freakin' Italy for goodness sake's and I'm hung up on my sister - how wrong is that??

Focusing on Italy...focusing on Italy....

Oh believe me i take no offense and understand the need to vent. We all have family/ friend issues that really suck. And i stand by my words that you just can't pick your family, i know i would pick a few different members if i could.

Just hang tough have a great time on your trip and don't fret the things you can't change.

Awe that's because going places isn't who you are, it's just a trip somewhere. You were raised right and no matter what she does deep down it matters to you and you are scared for her. You may have been hurt before, but that didn't just shut of your sisterly love for her. You are not a faucet. It's only natural that you would feel this way. Family can be a real pain but they are your family regardless. That's tough, hang in there she may just really need somebody sometime in the future.

I feel you pain, I have a family member that I try not to think about and when people talk to me about him, I relive the entire saga again. Just think of her as a small particle in the universe and you have no control over that speck of dust.

Just concentrate on what you want to do in Italy, where you want to travel and how much you are going to drink. LOL

Life is to short not to enjoy it so you and your mom should soak up the entire country.

Thanks ladies!!! I know I responded like a witch earlier. Thank you so much for allowing me to vent!!!

You all are the best!!!!