Yes, Big hugs!! The first year is especially tough.
I also lost my dad it will be a year ago December 28. I'm so glad we got to spend Christmas with him at least. My dad lived with me, so it has been difficult to think twice about not having to fix his dinner plate or not peeking in his room to see if he wants me to fix him a snack. I miss him too. My sympathies to you. Holidays and his birthday are going to be especially tough. His favorite was a DQ ice cream cake, so we got him one every year. He also liked his chocolates at Christmas time. My only advice I can give is, hold on to the good times. The things that made him smile, especially. And when you think of these you will smile as well. HUGS TO YOU.
(((Hugs)))
No one can replace dad for advices. But if you search in your heart, you'll know that he taught you well, so the answer is right there waiting for you to discover.
I am so sorry. On Dec. 15th it will be 8 years since I lost my mom. I miss her everyday. It never gets easier it's just different. I try not to dwell on the day that she passed away on rather, I think of all the wonderful years I got to have with her.
Give yourself time and cry if you need to. Tell him you miss him--he loves you still and nothing, even death, will ever change that.
((((hugsssssss))))))
I lost my mom, a long time ago now, I was just barely out of my teens...I miss her still...missing them is a sweet tribute...it means they made an incredible difference (some parents don't ya know). I'm not gonna tell you you will get over it, but in time the pain gets easier. Someone is never really gone as long as there is someone to remember them.
(((((((((more hugs)))))))))))))
Hugs
I know exactly how you feel. It will be two years on Dec 22 that we lost my dad to pancreatic cancer. It is so very difficult around this time of year for me too. Just the thought of Christmas approaching brings back many sad memories and pain. I guess the only advise i can give you is to take it a day at a time and if you have siblings lean on them. I know in my family if one of us is having a bad day the others will pick them up.
I'm sorry to hear you lost your father too. There is never enough time is there? ;o( I dream of dad and wish he were here too. Things are just not the same anymore.
I lost my Dad Jan 3rd 1998 and I can honestly say it never gets any better, but it also doesnt get any worse either. My dad was a chef and he was my inspiration on doing cakes.
I totally get what you mean about needing and wanting his advice, I always went to my dad when ever I needed advice, what I do now is I talk to my Dad (not out load LOL) and ask his advice before I go to bed, and I find that the answer always comes to me in the morning or next day.
HTH and big hugs to you!
You're all very lucky that you had dads you loved and loved you back. Mine wasn't a dad like that. He died 7 years ago in a horribly traumatic way for us. I don't miss him at all. That's truly sad but true.
You're so lucky you had that kind of love from yours. I do feel that way about my mom though, and I'm very lucky I have her.
Jodie
Deb...it's okay....really! We don't pick our parents. I have no regrets at this point. I look at it this way. He helped make me the person I am, and I LIKE the person I am. He was a very unhappy person and should never have married or had children. I'm not! I'm very blessed with a mother that's my best friend. My kids will never understand that kind of pain.
Now, it took me a lot of years to feel this way. I guess I just wanted to point out that, in a way, missing a dad that you loved and who loved you isn't the worst thing. At least there WAS that love!
Jodie
My father died from bladder cancer. Tomorrow it will be a year. I just miss him so much. There are things I need his advice on. I just wish he was still here. I love him soo much
My dad died three weeks ago, today. My mom, sisters, and I were all with him when he died, and it was the most traumatic experience I've had. No way could I deal with the questions and condolences of my husband's relatives today, so I sent him and my sons to their house for Thanksgiving without me. Part of me feels terribly guilty, but the bigger part just couldn't handle the holiday so close to my dad's death.
I'm so sorry about your dad. I can sympathize with you, and send you hugs.
I totally get y'all.
My Mom died seven years ago today on the calendar but in 2002 it was the day before Thanksgiving. So we were in that slow motion cloudy fish bowl atmosphere for that extra day of just like in that indescribable holding pattern zone due to the holiday before we could start the trip (TN to Chicago).
It's like you can see people's lips moving but you don't know why--like you figure they're talking to the person next to you but you can't figure out why they're looking at you. Reality is either way too real or doesn't exist anymore.
We had Thanksgiving at the Holiday Inn that year--it was a huge and nice spread, ice sculptures etc. but we were all just like on strings, suspended in air--you know what I mean.
So this year it hit me way worse than usual--I was a basket case--my big brother called me yesterday--I just lost it more--he had notified me that year but I already knew inside before the phone ever rang.
Whew--that was rough. But we survive huh. I don't think Christmas will be as bad for me--but when it's the first holiday without a loved one it sting sting stings. But it will be ok.
I'm gonna babble another minute--we had a lovely lovely invitation yesterday for which I am sincerly and utterly grateful. But I think I should have made myself be busier somehow--I think the cooking and planning help you not have enough time to think as much.
Just a thought.
signed,
member of the club nobody wanted to join
(((big hugs to all)))
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