When doing a monogram for a wedding, what comes first, the bride or the groom? example john and mary Smith get married, is it shown as j S m or m S j ? please let me know. Thanks Kelly

When dealing with the initials of a married couple, it is most common for the man's first name initial to go on the left, the woman's first name initial to go on the right and their last name initial to go in the center, larger than the rest. However, placing the woman's first name initial on the left with the man's first name initial on the right is also acceptable.

I always thought tradition dictated last name in the middle, women's on the left and men's on the right as far as wedding monograms go. Now I think the men's goes first on say like towels and things.

i think it should just be whatever is pleasing to the eye, when placing them on the cake..jmho

These links suggest that the bride's first intial goes first, last name in center and groom's first initial goes last.

http://www.noteworthynotes.com/monogramming-stationery.asp
Monogram for Two
When monogramming for a couple - such as for a wedding or an anniversary - we recommend placing the first initial of the couple's last name in the middle (and making it larger) with the first initial of the woman's first name to the left and the first initial of the man's first name to the right.
As an example: Jane Doe and Frank Doe becomes JDF



http://www.cathyscreationsonline.blogspot.com/
The order of the couples initials is also dictated by etiquette. The bride's initial goes first in a monogram. For example, if the bride takes the groom's last name, the order is bride's first initial/name, shared last initial/initial, groom's first initial/name. Of course, many couples stray from the typical monogram format and opt for a more creative, logo-like look for their wedding monogram.

I do as labellaflor.....woman's on the left, last in the middle, man's on the right.

Thanks everyone for your input!

The oldest traditions call for no joint monograms (separate monograms for the bride/groom are used to label their personal things).

Older tradition with the joint monogram calls for the man's initial first - since it is his last name and he is the head of household. His first initial is supposed to be linked with his last initial (in order).

"Modern" etiquette calls for the woman's initial first.

This is why most modern bridal sites or monogram sites which are lax on etiquette will advocate putting the woman's initial first (this may have started as a sort of rebellion against the idea of men leading the home, or because of the mentality that the woman 'owns the stuff'). Good sites will inform readers of the change in tradition over time. Ironically, many sites believe the 'man's initial is supposed to be linked with his last name' somehow refers to the exact opposite (placing his first initial apart from his last initial - on the right!).


Monograms aren't really in the realm of hard and fast rules, they have a lot to do with personal tastes and what 'looks good'. (If the order spells a weird word, for example, it is better to change it). However, if the couple is conservative or wants to follow strict etiquette, they may prefer a monogram with the husband's initial first or even separate monograms.

http://www.bellalino.com/rules_of_monogramming.htm

"Pamela & Greg Martin-Typically her first initial ,P, on the left, their last name, M ,in the middle and larger, and his first name initial ,G ,on the right. Tradition actually has his first name initial on the left, and her first name initial  on the right, but today, most couples place her name first on the left, and his name on the right."