My MIL lives like that. All her children have moved out, she lives in a nice-sized5 bedroom house, and one room, you cannot walk into. There are things there still in the boxes since before I got married (10 years), she has doesn't know when she will use it but she needs it. My sil's recently "gave (threw) away" the dress she wore to my bil's wedding 20 yrs ago. She has circulars from 2 years ago, cause she didn't read them yet. Why would you want to read what was on sale 2 years ago? I also don't open her fridge EVER. If I want something, I make my dh or someone else get it for me. When I was pregnant, I used to eat apples to fight my heartburn. I opened the fridge and there was a rotten plum there touching the apples, melting onto them. It was the only time I vomited while pregnant.
My mother is the exact opposite. She never let us keep mementos from school, only diplomas, yearbooks, report cards and awards. If something wasnt used this season, it was passed down, given away or thrown away.
I also don't keep my kids' clothes and toys. I like to give it away to donation centers, let someone enjoy it before it gets stained and ruined. If its something special, I take pics and I give it to family members so i could see it. I would need a huge house to keep all the stuff otherwise.
A word of warning: like I said, my mom is a "thrower", my dad is a "saver". My mom sometimes throws away useless stuff, and they have major marital problems every time. (I'm talking computer screens that are like 5 inches across with green letters that blink, I don't think you could even hook them up to a modern day computer, etc. but my father feels that its his) So if your spouse wants to keep stuff, you have to either rent out a storage room so you dont live in a fire hazard, or sit down in a civil manner to discuss what you keep and what you give away, like I found ppl who have cel phones like my dh used to have and gave them all the old chargers so dh felt like i wasnt throwing his stuff away.
A word of warning: like I said, my mom is a "thrower", my dad is a "saver".
My husband is kinda like that. Bluntly, I think he's just too lazy to either throw it away or put it away, so he insists he "needs" that .... and for some reason he needs it to sit in the original bag next to the couch for 4 or 5 months. He swears he "needs" to keep the box his new cell phone came in, along with all of the literature that came with it .... even tho' he NEVER looks at it. So there it sits, in the AT&T bag, next to his chair.
So here's what I do. I move the bag to behind the chair ... then a few days later, I move it to the hall closet .... then eventually, it goes in the trash can. He never even misses it.
One day I confessed that this is what I do with his "stuff". He pulled the "oh no what have you thrown out!?" line. I said, "nope! you tell me what you're missing and I'll tell you if I threw it out."
I come from a family of packrats and could have some of those tendencies myself but none of use are near as bad as people on hoarders. I just feel bad because these people have problems.
Anyway, I had space so I kept stuff. In 1998, my hubby and I sold our home our stuff, bought a motorhome and traveled around the country for 2 years. When we were clearing out, everything had to fit in a 10x10 storage room. If it didn't fit, it went, if it didn't work, it went. Now, I'm pretty good about clearing out and keeping cleared out. There are 2 of us, we have a 3200 sq. ft. house and my mom thinks it's horrible that I have empty drawers and closets.
We only have 2 boxes of 'stuff' that we don't want to get rid of, except Christmas decorations. However, my brother, just retired from the Air Force moved to Hawaii in 2004 and could take limited amount of stuff. I have 20 boxes of their stuff which includes at least 3 boxes of my nieces baby clothes - she is 15. Mom has some, sil's family has some. As soon as they buy a house, it's all going to them. Hope they find a HUGE house. 
I think this show is so fascinating. What makes me sad is that for all the stuff they have, these people are all so empty inside. The psychological aspect of why people do it is really interesting to me, and I think the more I understand about it, the more compassion I have for the people who suffer from it. I really feel for the families. It has to be a horrible thing to grow up in or see your parent devolve into. The more I learn, the clearer it is to me that nearly all maladaptive behaviors are the result of some kind of trauma or brutalization in early life. So many ways to screw up an innocent human being...
Conversely, a few years ago I took a four month job assignment across the country from my home. I had a furnished apartment, and other than my clothes, toiletries, and some family pictures, I didn't have ANY personal stuff with me. It was the most unexpectedly liberating feeling to travel that light. I've been a grown-up for 32 years, and I have a lot of crap! I never realized until then how having so much stuff weighs you down in some strange way, even if it's just sitting in boxes in the garage. I've been systematically organizing and decluttering ever since.
Debi, I totally appreciate your desire to not leave a bunch of things for your kids to have to go through. My mom is not at all a hoarder, but she just has SO much stuff. I dread the thought of having to dispense with it when the time comes.
Debi, I totally appreciate your desire to not leave a bunch of things for your kids to have to go through. My mom is not at all a hoarder, but she just has SO much stuff. I dread the thought of having to dispense with it when the time comes.
We keep teasing them about, "isn't it more fun to go thru our stuff while we're still alive?" What's funny, though, is all the things they DON'T want. Hubby has a lot of woodworking equipment. Pretty expensive. Neither our son nor son-in-law wants it. We own 3 or 4 grills ....weber, charcoal, big gas grill and a spare. (Hubby likes to grill, what can I say?) So we figure our son, who just became a new homeowner with a nice backyard, would jump at the chance to have our big gas grill. Nope! He doesn't want that either. 
What we thought would be nice things that our kids would enjoy having "after we're gone" turns out to be just some "stuff" that no one wants anyway.
That turned out to be a great lesson in this decluttering exercise we're going thru. Now instead of keeping something because "the kids will like having that", I'm making the decision based on whether *I* will like having that around anymore.
Watching this show is also really helping me in the declutter process. I don't want my kids talking about me like that when I'm dead! I'll come back and haunt them!! 
Growing up while my parents were still married, my dad would move us just to give him a reason to throw away the stuff my mom collected!
My mom grew up as an orphan so she never had things of her own. So, now in her adulthood she "hoards" and it has driven us (the 4 kids) crazy all our lives. Well, Hurricane Katrina took care of it as far as my brother is concerned. My mom had a four bedroom house full of her belongings! When the crews can to help clean, my brother just told them to move it out. Didn't give my mom time to sift thru any of it. So there were some of valuables that might have been salvagable. (Jewlery, china, etc). But all my brother saw it as a way to finally get rid of Mom's "JUNK". I lived in Ohio at the time and was on my way to assist in clean up and was going to help mom sift thru her things. But my brother had his own house and my father's house to help with also. Hints the rush! 
I had a breakdown the other night after watching that show. I told my hubby that I wanted to go thru the garage and get rid (donate or trash) anything we haven't touched in a year. I can't turn into my mom.
when my kids moved out, we had no plan for a large bedroom so that is where we put boxes of miscellaneous stuff "to sort out later".
of course, over the years, it became a junk room and the thought of going thru all of the stuff was really yucky.
the problem was solved for us when an electrical fire started in the room. poof! it was all gone.
it was an over the top way to unload all of it and i wouldn't recommend it as it really is horrible, but if you have a house fire, it's the perfect place for it.
we had lots of smoke damage so the bedroom, bathroom and kitchen had to be gutted and rebuilt.
after the initial terror and trauma, i did have a fresh new bedroom, bathroom and kitchen woo hoo!
I totally understand why my inlaws lived like that, since when they were growing up they both were very poor and had that a "better save it you might need it someday" mentality. One thing that I can give them credit for is tahat they were both very good money-savers too, so they're now able to pay for the retirement home they're living in (and it costs $5000 a month .)
My MIL just has the "I'm poor" mentality, and when we moved them into the retirement home she kept saying "I hope that the money holds out". My husband figured out that they have enough money with thier pensions and savings to last them for about 10 years, so they have nothing to worry about (he's 92, she's 88.)
When she brought up the money thing we'd tell her that they were fine, but she kept worrying about it and that's all she talked about. I finally told her that when she started worrying about it she should tell herself "I'm RICH!" over and over. She thought that was funny, but when she started in on it again we'd say "what are you supposed to say?" and she'd laugh and say "I'm rich." That seems to be helping to "reprogram" her.
The funniest thing, though, is that she keeps mentioning all of the things that she wishes she'd brought from her house. When I ask her what things, she says, "I can't remember." I tell her that if she can't remember them they probably weren't things that she really needs, and she says "well, they probably had sentimental value."
LOL - I watched one where the couple had like 100 cats. They had no money - the cats had completely ruined the house, but yet they continue to take in more cats. It was filthy with cat hair, cat food, and cat crap everywhere.
And I watched one more - but I don't remember what it was.
My husband is kinda like that. Bluntly, I think he's just too lazy to either throw it away or put it away, so he insists he "needs" that .... and for some reason he needs it to sit in the original bag next to the couch for 4 or 5 months. He swears he "needs" to keep the box his new cell phone came in, along with all of the literature that came with it .... even tho' he NEVER looks at it. So there it sits, in the AT&T bag, next to his chair.
Substitute "Verizon" for AT&T, and you have described my dh.
Both dh and ds are definitely keepers. What has helped tremendously is posting stuff on our local Freecycle. For some reason, they are much more willing to get rid of stuff if there is a specific person who wants it. DS, who fought getting rid of a lot of his old toys decided to add his stuff to what we were giving to a family with 6 kids, who had hit hard times.
While I don't need anything, I check the Wanted posts on Freecycle, looking for things we can give away. So far, this has purged us of an old radio scanner that my parents decided we needed to have, but have never used, a phone cord, a juicer (from my parents), an ice cream maker (wedding gift--from 23 years ago, used once), and Christmas lights.
This is interesting-we just moved a few weeks ago, out of a house we lived in for 4 1/2 years and had another child in. So we had a lot of stuff to go through. Since it was a cross country move, we really had to purge.
I have no problems going through things, looking at them, and deciding it isn't worth packing, or it's too old, or we don't use it, or whatever. Neither does my husband-and we kind of joke now because we moved to a house with a basement that we filled with boxes and we think "If we didn't unpack it, maybe we should get rid of it."
My mom is the opposite of that. She isn't a hoarder, but she does hang on to things that she could get rid of because of the "just in case" mentality.
There are so many hues in the spectrum of this-the people who can't throw anything away and are literally drowning in it, and the people who are complete minimalists and have nothing in their homes.
Both dh and ds are definitely keepers. What has helped tremendously is posting stuff on our local Freecycle. For some reason, they are much more willing to get rid of stuff if there is a specific person who wants it. DS, who fought getting rid of a lot of his old toys decided to add his stuff to what we were giving to a family with 6 kids, who had hit hard times.
sounds just like my dh. he let me get rid of a whole collection of old cel phone charger cause he heard that my sister and her husband have one of the phones that i had 4 chargers. my bil travels alot,so he leaves alot of chargers in hotel rooms. so dh feels good that he gave them to him. also found a few other ppl to give chargers to.
I think that these traits are hereditary. My mil doesn't let a garbage bag go out without looking through it (gross!), my dd was like that til she turned 3. now she's like my mother - she tortures my other kids that they "don't really need this, right?", don't wait for an answer and fill up a garbage bag in about 2 minutes flat. my mother feels good, like a high, whan she throws out stuff.
We just finished cleaning out my inlaws' hosue, which they'd lived in for 50+ years. They were both depression children, and had inherited a lot of furniture and "stuff" from other relatives ove the years. I don't think they'd thrown out one thing in all that time!
I went up and worked in there for about 8 or 9 days, and threw out a ton of things. Then we hired an estate sale person to do a sale, and she had a staff come in to prep the place before the sale...It took them 56 HOURS to get the place ready for the sale, and 25 to clean it up afterward (physically cleaning the house.) And this was a group that knew what they were doing.
!
Okay, I'm quoting myself to correct something... I just saw the statement that the estate sale lady sent us, and it didn't take 56 hours to get the house ready, it took 159 hours 
So I'm extra happy that I hired her.
My FIL died almost 4 years ago and my MIL is still cleaning up his trash/treasures. They are both from Europe during the war and grew up with nothing. She hordes also but nothing like he did. You couldn't walk in 3 rooms in their house they were so full and the garage was insane! I don't even want to tell you what all was in there. I'll just leave it at this...we rented a dumpster twice (each time for a week) largest dumpster they offered and filled it up each time just from garage items. The sad part was that there was still more in the garage after that. It's only a 2 car garage.
My uncle (he's a hermit and still lives at home) is a collector of books. My grandma's entire house is filled from floor to ceiling with books (except her room). There is a tiny path through each room, kind of like a maze of books. I'm so scared (so is the rest of the family) that if there is a fire they will never be able to get out. I know that they never would make it. I'm a small built lady and can hardly get through there.
There are a few other horders in mini form that I'm related to, but the 2 above are the worst ones. I hope to never be like this.
mkolmar, when you mentioned the books ..... hubby and I are super avid readers. Some people read a book and give it away. I read books over and over. we have determined we "collect" our books. They are alphabetical by author. We cleaned them out once, a few years ago. Gave away 300 books and STILL had five 5-shelf bookcases, double rowed and double stacked.
During our decluttering process we're doing right now, we looked at all of these books ... these dust-covered, haven't been touched in god knows how long books .... and we giving them ALL away. We thought that would be the hardest part. And with the right mindset, it's not hard at all. we're boxing up at least 2 big boxes worth this weekend, to give to one of hubby's co-workers. Her husband is semi-disabled and LUVS to read. Turns out he loves the same authors we do! The rest will go to Goodwill or the half-price bookstore.
Win-win for all! 
... and STILL had five 5-shelf bookcases, double rowed and double stacked.
Debi, I swear you and I live in parallel universes! THIS is my husband's den. Five large book cases, stacked two deep, double high. He loves his books and will not part with them. He does at least re-read them. He also has a Verizon bag next to his chair with the cell phone crap in it!
I keep trying to introduce this man to a library card, but he just loves owning his books. I guess it's a minor vice.
Wow Deb, that's a lot of reading!
I wish my uncle would get rid of some books. It's beyond words in there, you can't even see that there is hardwood floors or what color the walls are. They are literally stacked to the ceiling. I haven't been to my grandmas in a long time, simply because there is no room in there. I was there over 2 years ago and could only walk about 3 feet into the house. I turned around and walked out to stand on the porch, could hardly breath. Everything was so close I felt claustorphobic and the dust on the books was horrid. I have ever so slight allergies to dust and started wheezing instantly. My uncle is a former college professor of English. Hes so smart but refuses to get rid of the fire hazard around him.
sounds just like my dh. he let me get rid of a whole collection of old cel phone charger cause he heard that my sister and her husband have one of the phones that i had 4 chargers.
I want to know what's with men and cell phone chargers. 
I recently got my husband to get rid of several that he had been keeping "in case we get a phone that uses the same charger." Like that's going to happen. 
He gets it from his parents, his father is worse than his mother and she is always telling me how I shouldn't get rid of junk and giving me "great" ideas on how to reuse it.
I think the kids have been picking up on my views on getting rid of stuff though. We have some Christmas shows that my MIL bought the kids on tape several years ago and most of them are little kid things like Thomas so yesterday I told my youngest to go through and pick out the ones he doesn't want any more. He announced that he was getting rid of all tapes and going through the Christmas books too and purged a bunch of them as well. 
I am going to rescue at least one Nativity story before I give them away since they decided they didn't want any of those.
Wow Deb, that's a lot of reading!
I'm a speed reader. I can read 2 or 3 books per day. I can't read magazines. I read them too fast so it's not worth the money. Someone mentioned a library card .... not worth it to me. I'd have to check out 6 or 7 books to give me enough reading material to last a week.
One year for Christmas, I rec'd 10 books as gifts. I had them all read before New Years Day.
I actually ended up putting my speed reading on my resume as a job skill. I actually CAN read a report while it's going thru the copy machine. I can absorb a lot of material in a very short time. One job I had, the VP liked to buy self-help and motivation books but he never had time to read them. So I volunteered to make it part of my job to read them and give him a synopsis of the book, letting him know which ones to read now, which ones to read later, and which ones he wasted his money on. I took 4 books home one night and gave him a typed synopsis on each one the next morning. (Got a great raise that year!)
deb,
is your ability to speed-read natural or a skill that you've developed?
Natural. I could read when I was 4. Not just a word or two .... I was reading books.
Look, I don't want this to sound like I know it's going to sound, so I'll apologize up front, but my son has a genius IQ and he did NOT inherit it from his bio-dad! When I was in 2nd grade, I read all the books in that room and I ended up being sent to the 4th and 5th grade library to get books. When in 5th grade, they wanted to skip me a grade but my parents said no. I never studied a day in my life and was the straight-A student that all the teachers loved. That actually became a handicap .... when I started taking college classes and HAD to study, I discovered that I didn't know how.
When hubby and I were dating, we were reading a magazine article together. I started to turn the page and he stopped me because he wasn't halfway thru the page yet. He actually quizzed me on the article because he didn't believe I'd actually read it.
Had a new boss who handed me a memo to review. I read it and handed it back. He said, "You didn't read it that fast!" My co-workers around me started laughing. He looks up all confused ..... one of my co-workers told him, 'Don't EVER get into a reading race with debi. you'll lose. trust me, you'll lose."
I never studied a day in my life and was the straight-A student that all the teachers loved. That actually became a handicap .... when I started taking college classes and HAD to study, I discovered that I didn't know how.
I did the same thing. High school was a total breeze for me, so when I got to college I didn't know how to study. My then boyfriend and later DH had to teach me some study habits.
I'm telling ya' Debi, parallel universes!
I live in a small apartment in New york for 15 years with my hubby and twins and 2 pugs. If I have not used an item in one year, I THROW IT AWAY.
Also, I make sure any clothing items I buy it works with my wardrobe. We don't have a walk in closet.
i find that throwing stuff out or giving it away elevates my mood. the more stuff that is pitched, the better i feel.
I like getting things I'm not using out of my house, but I hate throwing away things that are still in perfect condition. This is partly because I feel that I shouldn't have bought the item in the first place (or that the person who gave it to me shouldn't have) and partly because it feels so wasteful.
Whenever possible, I give the item to charity/freecycle/otherwise make the item available to someone who would appreciate it.
If something truly is junk, it is quite liberating to get rid of it.
My daughter, who is studying to be a psychologist, just caught this show tonight. She called to tell me she is so grossed out ... and hooked on the show.
Yeah, that Augustine woman has some serious problems. I'm watching the 2nd hour ... the lady who hoards food. SHe has something like 24 jars of spaghetti sauce. I wont' even talk about her refrigerator.
Yeah, the food hoarder is the most horrifying thing I've seen in a long time. I really felt for Augustine's kids. What an ungrateful woman she is. She had to be prompted to even say thank you to the clean up workers. It was hard to work up much sympathy for her, I'm afraid. At least she's agreed to some therapy.
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