Family Vs. Strangers...

Business By CakeMommyTX Updated 6 Aug 2009 , 12:25am by FullHouse

CakeMommyTX Posted 4 Aug 2009 , 5:23pm
post #1 of 21

...sorry family but utter and complete strangers win every time, when it comes to cake orders that is.
Why is it family members are the worst when it comes to cake ?
They don't think the rules/contracts apply to them.
The expect a discount if not a free cake.
They assume I'm a mind reader, and simply saying "I need a cake" finalizes your order, flavor choice, cake design, serving amount, delivery info etc.!
Get annoyed when they call at 3pm for a cake that night and I can't do it, "but I don't need it until around 5 tonight"!
Even friends/co-workers of immediate family feel they deserve a discount because they "rooted for you" when you started your business.
So if I cheer the car mechanic on while he's replacing my transmission do I get a discount?
I have only one family member who insists on paying full price and tipping me, and for that I give her huge discounts, because she doesnt take advantage of me.
My family are the worst bunch of customers there is.
They even tell other people "oh don't worry about it, I'll get you a discount" and then get frustrated at me when I say no.
I don't know the person they promised the discount to and I have no reason to give them a discount.
I don't go around promising people I know that they will do their job for them for 1/2 off!
Ok rant over.
Sorry family love you but just hate doing business with you!

20 replies
Kiddiekakes Posted 4 Aug 2009 , 5:25pm
post #2 of 21

That is a bummer..I don't have that problem as everyone in my family knows if they wants a cake they pay for it..No Discount unless I offer to give one or do it for free!!

__Jamie__ Posted 4 Aug 2009 , 5:25pm
post #3 of 21

Awwww, I would not like to have family members or friends like that, and am so grateful to not experience any of that crap. I don't get some people!

CakeMommyTX Posted 4 Aug 2009 , 5:44pm
post #4 of 21

It's only when it comes to cake, in every other way they are perfect.
In their mind it's "just cake".

DefyGravity Posted 4 Aug 2009 , 5:48pm
post #5 of 21

Tell them that you will charge their friend 1/2 off, but you fully expect them (your family) to pay you the rest! icon_wink.gif

ccr03 Posted 4 Aug 2009 , 5:52pm
post #6 of 21

I'm with Jaime. I am so grateful that I don't have family or friends like that. They root me on so much and when I give a free cake it's because I want.


But strangers are better. I feel less inclined to give a discount - even though my family doesn't ask for it.

sadsmile Posted 4 Aug 2009 , 6:00pm
post #7 of 21

Well let me make you feel better by telling you about my family. I just took a cake to a gathering(pot luck every one brings) Well this time there was MORE deserts then the last time. Why because they don't like fondant. And because my mother with the biggest damn mouth about how I don't use real butter or millk... instead I use soy milk and a dairy free vegan butter. So they have a mental block on how bad it tastes. My mom thought she was bragging. I never tell people until later on or if they ask because they know we can't have dairy. And none of our neihbors or other friends have ever said they could tell. Quite the oposite infact they can't beieve it dooesn't have all that good stuff in there. I know there isn't anything wrong with my baking. But my Aunt's AC was broken on Mother's Day and I had to skip the buttercream at the last minute and use ganache and fondant so the cake would even hold together. And who likes hot cake anyway?
Just some background on this cake for you... I was ill and waited till the last possible minute to make the cake to be sure I was over my cold. And what do ya know the day before the gathering my water was shut off to fix a pipe-ALL stinkin day! So I double timed it and worked with unsettled cake to get it done even. I couldn't do my original design because of the time loss and had to settle for copying The London Cake company for somthing quick and still pretty.
SO I overheard one of my uncles talking to my cousin about how it's pretty but he wouldn't want to eat it and thats why they brought back up. And no one wanted any of the cake but my Grandmother whom it was for and my kids and my mom. So help me even if I am asked I will never ever take a cake to a family gathering again! I am beyond pissed.

DefyGravity Posted 4 Aug 2009 , 6:11pm
post #8 of 21

Next time they come to you like that, ask if they'll help you with your tax-expempt paperwork, since apparently you're running a charity now icon_wink.gif

CakeForte Posted 5 Aug 2009 , 3:07am
post #9 of 21

LOL @ the tax exempt comeback. I'm going to start saying that one!

Deb_ Posted 5 Aug 2009 , 3:34am
post #10 of 21

You need to "train" them to be good customers.

When I stopped doing "freebies" after I became licensed, I sent out an e-mail to all of my family members that had reaped the benefit of free cake over the years.

It simply stated that I was now a "real" business with "real" business expenses. I also included a price list, ordering policy, payment policy etc.

I guess what I'm trying to say is if you want your family to treat you as a "real" business, then you need to treat them like all your other clients.....get the contract out and take their order.

After you do it once, they'll get the picture.

Good luck......hopefully they're fast learners! icon_lol.gif

FullHouse Posted 5 Aug 2009 , 3:14pm
post #11 of 21
Quote:
Originally Posted by dkelly

You need to "train" them to be good customers.

When I stopped doing "freebies" after I became licensed, I sent out an e-mail to all of my family members that had reaped the benefit of free cake over the years.

It simply stated that I was now a "real" business with "real" business expenses. I also included a price list, ordering policy, payment policy etc.

I guess what I'm trying to say is if you want your family to treat you as a "real" business, then you need to treat them like all your other clients.....get the contract out and take their order.

After you do it once, they'll get the picture.

Good luck......hopefully they're fast learners! icon_lol.gif




I wish I had the cake balls to do that, or even charge my cost. Last cake I made for my SIL's kids (the fondant frog cupcakes in my photos), she said, "oh, those are cute" with no enthusiasum then offered to give me the $ for a cake mix... I used gourmet choc. and made everything from scratch, never mind the hours it took to sculpt the frogs. I did offer to make them for her kids b/c I had just done a cake for my other niece (which was hugely appreciated and although I didn't ask for $, they gave me a generous giftcard). I didn't expect payment, but it was insulting to have her offer the $1 for the cake mix and just an offhand comment about them being cute. Her friends all loved them and told me so.

Deb_ Posted 5 Aug 2009 , 6:11pm
post #12 of 21

Fullhouse, that's awful I'm sorry your SIL did that to you. We've all been in that position, so I know how you feel, but somehow it feels so much worse when it comes from a family member.

Does your family know how much you charge for your cakes and cupcakes? If not, then you really should e-mail them all a link to your site where they'll find all your prices and policies.

Somehow you need to convey to your family that this is a business and your livelihood depends on getting paid to make cakes/cupcakes.

It's much easier to do it through e-mail then face to face.

I also live by the "If I offer to bring the cake it's my gift but if you ask me to make one, it's an order".

Baby steps..... icon_wink.gif

FullHouse Posted 5 Aug 2009 , 7:00pm
post #13 of 21

Thanks. Some people just are who they are. I know that she would never spend more than Target prices for a cake, which is fine, I understand since I couldn't afford my own cakes either. I had offered to make something for her kids' sakes, but expected a bit more verbal gratitude (my other in-laws were falling over themselves to thank me when I had done their's), and if she was going to offer $, then at least offer to cover my expenses, not infer that all it was worth was a cake mix. Live and learn. She hasn't asked for a cake since, but I'm hoping if she does I'll have the strength to say "no", my problem is I'm always thinking that it's not the kids' fault. Luckily I can use my DH as my backbone, he hates me spending hours of what could be family time on free cakes even when it is for his family. I love this site, I often find myself reading through OPs when I know I'm about to set myself up to be taken advantage of.

indydebi Posted 5 Aug 2009 , 7:18pm
post #14 of 21
Quote:
Originally Posted by FullHouse

but I'm hoping if she does I'll have the strength to say "no",


Just keep thinking about if you DON'T say 'no', then you'll have to come on here, confess what you did, and then sit back and let us electronically smear you with buttercream!!! icon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gif

MelissaMay Posted 5 Aug 2009 , 7:48pm
post #15 of 21

dkelly,
first of all...GO Red Sox!

thanks for the advice, I too have been doing cakes for free or for cost, so that I could "practice" I now am trying to turn my hobby into a business and this process is very complicated...My plan is to send a letter/annoncement with my new business card, so that I get my point across...thanks again!

Are you from the Boston area???

bakery_chick Posted 5 Aug 2009 , 8:13pm
post #16 of 21
Quote:
Originally Posted by indydebi

Quote:
Originally Posted by FullHouse

but I'm hoping if she does I'll have the strength to say "no",

Just keep thinking about if you DON'T say 'no', then you'll have to come on here, confess what you did, and then sit back and let us electronically smear you with buttercream!!! icon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gif




that is funny.

Deb_ Posted 5 Aug 2009 , 10:39pm
post #17 of 21
Quote:
Originally Posted by MelissaMay

dkelly,
first of all...GO Red Sox!

thanks for the advice, I too have been doing cakes for free or for cost, so that I could "practice" I now am trying to turn my hobby into a business and this process is very complicated...My plan is to send a letter/annoncement with my new business card, so that I get my point across...thanks again!

Are you from the Boston area???




Oh that's great good luck to you in your new business venture!

I'm about 50 miles south of Boston, close to the Rhode Island border....I've been a HUGE Sox fan since I was a little girl. It's so nice to enjoy some championship seasons after all the years of disappointment icon_lol.gif

Fullhouse, here's a thought for the next time your SIL offers to "pay for the mix".......keep a running tab of all your expenses and hand it over to her................then snap a picture, I want to see her face! icon_razz.gif

GenGen Posted 5 Aug 2009 , 10:59pm
post #18 of 21

i stopped doing cakes for the family for a while cause it seemed like they were getting tired of them, they stopped asking me for cakes for family occassions and started just bringing store bought stuff. sure some of it was good but still. after a while i stopped letting it get to me till my father inlaw who never bakes or bakes well w/o a big mess lol started baking cakes and using store bought frosting. yes for him t his was a big deal especialy as they were turning out very edible. just basic cakes in a pan with frosting spread over. i was thrilled for him and wanted to start doing some co projects with him but my MIL asked me not to (she knew he always escalated projects etc and i don't blame her much on that lol)

i admit i kinda felt well not jealous but forgotten lol everyone was making this big deal out of those cakes when i knew what i could do etc lol.. ah well we're a close family so no hard feelings.

on fathers day hubby asked for only one thing he wanted a chocolate cake with raspberry filling. so i did.. and boy did it turn out Yum. it was my first venture in trying the method i had and yUuumy. well we showed up with the cake, i didn't know my FIL was going to make one too lol.. and ifelt bad that most of my cake was eaten and only a few pieces were taken from his. both were very good though.

I"m starting to make more cakes for the family again as we have two children getting ready to graduate and this is a personal gift from Aunt Gail that i can give a bit of myself to them before they leave us.. its going to be doubly hard for me as my oldest will be not only graduating this year but has also joined the navy! so i'm planning a doubly special cake for him. he wants a navy cake.. i wanted to make him a violin.. so it may be a violin but half of it with a navy theme icon_smile.gif i cant wait icon_smile.gif

mackeymom Posted 5 Aug 2009 , 11:04pm
post #19 of 21

I can't get my family/friends to eat cake! I even sent out a text to everyone in my phone saying "I want to practive! If you cover my expenses, I 'll make the cake." The only response I got was from my mom. She said she would, but she is sick... Really? NO ONE wants a cake?

Fine. I made a WASC cake and took it to the shelter and they were THE MOST appreciative people ever. If you ever want a pat on the back for a free cake, take one to the shelters. They know all about hard work with little reward or thanks.

JoJo0855 Posted 5 Aug 2009 , 11:18pm
post #20 of 21

Mackeymom: Try decorating cake dummies for practice! icon_smile.gif

FullHouse Posted 6 Aug 2009 , 12:25am
post #21 of 21

[quote="indydebiJust keep thinking about if you DON'T say 'no', then you'll have to come on here, confess what you did, and then sit back and let us electronically smear you with buttercream!!! icon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gif[/quote]

icon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gif

I am getting better, I keep remembering how my 2 yr old sounds when he's in the kitchen begging "Mommy play, pleeeaase". Then I remind myself I owe him my time before I owe it to anyone else. Before I was pregnant, I worked mostly after 9pm when the kiddos were in bed, now that's my bedtime too so my caking time has become more valuable.

Quote by @%username% on %date%

%body%