You guys know that I always come to you all for advice so I have a question. I had to bake for a huge event on Saturday that my sil helped me to sell stuff. Well I was trying to keep all the money because I noticed a few times that she helped me there was a few dollars missing and she would tell me that she was walking around selling and she brought something. Then sometimes she would call me after the event and say tha she found a few dollars in her pocket that she forgot to give to me. I was paying her something in the beginning but now I really dont have the money to be paying for her assistance. I have stopped her from having to to do the baking but needed help to sell stuff on saturday.

Well anyway saturday she said that she didnt bring any money with her except for $10. She showed me the money and she said that she put it in her other pocket seperate from my money. Well I said ok but was trying to get all the money that she was making and kept asking for the money. Well I had to go to the restroom twice and I told her to keep track of sales and to keep the tally. Well she brought something at the sale and spent $6. She should have had $4 left. Well we go out to dinner afterwards and my husband and I were going to pay for her and she pulls out $29 and puts $20 on the table for her food. I was shocked. We get to the car and I mention to her "Wow, you had money to pay for your food, I thought you only had $10 on you!" She says, "oh, I had a few dollars more." Huh? That doesnt even sound right. I know that she took my money and I dont know what to even say to her. I want to be tactfull but on the other hand I want her to know that I know what she did. I hate thieves!!!! It makes me more angry because I was going to give her some money for helping and on top of that I was so grateful that she always helps and never ask for anything in return. I would rather her ask then steal from me. What should I do? Should I say anything to her?

My sympathy to you. It's painful, realizing that you can't depend on family to help you.

Your situation is exactly why I wouldn't let my God-child talk me into going into business with her - because I knew I would be doing all the work, while she would try to pocket all the money.

I hope I'm wrong, but after being burned so many times by others, I am immediately suspicious of everyone who tries to involve themselves in my money or my business.

Your SIL already knows what she did. Why else would she think she has to show you her $10, unless she knows you suspect her of stealing from you? If that were me, and I knew I was innocent, I would tell you to sell your own darn cakes and not help you anymore. You didn't get that protest from her. And in the end, she slipped up, anyway.

Can you get someone from your church or a nearby one, to assist you instead? Perhaps some 16-year-old from a church group, who could use a few extra dollars by helping you out. I've got a grand-niece I could send to you, but we're probably too far away from each other.

Theresa

This is a tough one Karema. I think I'd just not ask for her help any more. She obviously cannot be trusted.

The only way to avoid this situation in the future is to count every item you give to her to sell and when you hand it to her say "I'm giving you 12 cupcakes so I'll expect $XX when you return if you've sold them all"

I think you're probably hurt even more because she's family and I don't blame you. The simplest solution would be to not allow her to help you anymore.

Maybe she feels like she should get something for spending her day helping you? It's not a reason to steal, but maybe she doesn't like working for free?

I don't think that she should work for free but I'm just going through a rough patch. she doesnt work either and hasn't worked in three years because she chooses not to. I would have given her something if she had asked. Also I'm so uncomfortable because when she comes to my house do I hide my money now? I think I'm more hurt than anything and I have caught her lying so many times before that I'm beginning to think that she is a liar and now a thief!!

That's a bad position to be in Will she blow up if you confront her about it? Maybe you will be able to think of another trustworthy person to assist you with the sales that will not take your money. HTH

It's a sad position to be in really..

my 12 yrs old sister steals from me and my mother. I had left 20$ on my computer desk,went to get changed and it was gone..when I looked in her room it was on her dresser.. my mom confronted her about it and now I hide all my valuables.. it really hurts to know I can't trust my own sister.

I guess the best solution, even if you hurt her feelings, if to confront her about it, probably more nicely than my mom did

Well I finally said something but did not accuse her of anything. I just told her that I was a little upset because I had counted every item before I left the house and when I compared what amount I had made it didn't match. I told her that I was short some money and was having a hard time figuring out where it had gone. She looked shocked and was like "really" "how much are you short?" I said almost thirty dollars. She said " That is a huge difference and that sounds odd." Well I've put it out there to see what happens. At least I let her know that I'm keeping track of things and it's seeming a little fishy to me.