The field is massive...we have a 'forest' at the end of the cul de sac..no ones property..then the whole back of the whole neighbourhood for miles is all field..again township owned. They live on the lot closest to the cul de sac forest. Because the field is sooo big, the boys move from one 'forested' area to another all day long.
I'm outside all the time anyway, gardening, weeding, brushing the dog..etc... That's why I see so much and know what this kid is really like. I admittedly don't hang out in the field, nothing back there, but i have a pretty good view of some parts of it from the back deck. Unfortunately the places they play the most i can't see from my view. In the summer we like to go out there and take 'nature' walks with nicholas..great family time. It really is the ideal setting for a young boy to grow up in.
You are right, there is no avoiding this family, we live sooo close. I'm sure half the neighbourhood has heard the story by now, since she talks with so many. I really don't care at this point. I'm still pretty heated today. I'm starting to feel like a prisoner in my home. Who wants to come home and deal with all this nonsense?
We'll see how the next few days go. Hopefully what's said is said.
I don't think i've ever been this mad at a person, shame really. It's not my nature to cause conflict. I've turned my cheek so many times.

Social exclusion is bullying, and I would have said so to the group of boys. There is a lot of anti-bullying stuff going on in school these days, and I find that if I tell my son that such and such that he is doing is bullying, he gets all wide eyed and will stop. Hee hee, maybe you should have said that if they are playing in the field, then everybody gets to play, and if they are going to leave someone out, they have to go into anthony's house to play!

Hitting and throwing sticks and rocks at someone is assault. If this is an ongoing pattern, I would consider contacting the police, although not sure how much they could do except have a talk with the parents and child, and obviously the child doesn't have any respect for authority. And I would probably also mention the sex comment and ask if they think there might be something behind that and should you report it so social services.

Ringing the doorbell and running away -- trespass or nuisance.

I liked the comment someone made about telling the parents that you have tried to work with them, but if they cannot resolve this with their child, you are moving on to other authorities.

Does your kid have any other friends from school? Perhaps he could invite a school friend or cousin over to play seperate from the neighbourhood kids.

I would also be documenting incidents and your communication with the parents.

Wow
kinda makes me glad I was a loner as a kid.
I don't have kids but my blood was boiling just reading all your posts.
I do remember your posts from last year dealing with this boy.

Someone else mentioned videotaping the evidence.
I would say, that as long as your video taping your own child, they can't say anything about it.

Is there any way Nick could join any kind of clubs or programs that would allow him to make friends with kids outside of the neighborhood??
If he gets to spend a few hours a week playing with other kids, then it might be that much easier to make him spend less time with the neighborhood kids.

Do you have a fence around your backyard??
I ask because these people strike me as the kind that if their horrible child gets hurt while trespassing on your property, would try to sue you for everything you have. If you don't have a fence, it might be worth the expense to install one.

That way even if Nick is playing with a friend from school, the demon spawn can't bother them.

Well, so far no call from the neigbour..not surprized at all.

My son has friends over from school often, but the problem is boys will be boys and they ALWAYS want to go to the field and dig, make forts, play in the ditches catching turtles and get dirty. Even if they start out by themselves, it's never long before someone shows up wanting to join in. His cousin lives five minutes away and he does go there often..just sometimes it's nice to have your child home..ya know.
Yes, we have a backyard and it's fenced..My son has told me, he has gone to the backyard to play and anthony follows him. He either goes through the garage door if it's open or through the fence. He tells him to go away, and doesn't. I told him that if he does this i am to be told right away and i will deal with him.. I just learned of this.
His soccer league starts up tonight, so he willbe busy two nights a week with practises and games. He loves it, and the boys are great. Funny we were just talking with one of the moms the other night and she was telling us her childs being bullied at school..different school then nick. I think she was just as happy as us to have soccer starting up.

Maragaret..you are sooo right about social exclusion..that's why i was so heated last night. How dare she tell her son's to send my son away and then get everyone to join along. If she is so concerned about anthony being around nick she should take him away from the group, not isolate nick. Whew...that ticked me off big time.
Calling the authorities..i feel that would just create an all out war and I do have to live here. Right next door to them. I also don't know that they would do much anyway because it's their word against mine..it would just probably make the situation evern worse. I'd like to deal with this without going to that extent if possible. I guess we will have to see what the future brings.

I'm exhausted, barely slept last night, my mind racing but i do have a bit of good news today...My son had his oral food challenge at the hospital this morning to see if he outgrew his cashew allergy..and he passed!!! five nuts down....four to go. He's thrilled, as are we.

Thank you everyone for comforting me during this stressful time. It really does help to talk it out.

suzanne

Wow - this sounds like my situation with my neighbor (and we also live in a cul-de-sac). My DD is 5 and the neighbor's DD is bullying her verbally. She will deliberately do things to her and then have this smile on her face when my DD gets upset and starts to cry. I had a talk with he mom also and she tried to tell me it was because something that happened with them over 2 years ago - WHAT - I don't believe a child that age can hold a grudge for that long. I know my child is not perfect and does things she shouldn't - whose kid doesn't. This kid will lie to her mom just so she doesn't get in trouble. Her mom is just blinded by it.

I have started teaching my child things to say back to her when she shows her nasty hateful self. One day we were at a meeting and the neighbor told my DD that she wasn't going to be her friend because she now has another friend and she would never play with her again. My DD looked at her and said "ok, fine be that way". The other little girl just looked at her with her mouth dropped open. I was just laughing on the inside. The other day, we were outside and the neighbor's DD asked her younger sister for a kiss and she looked at her and told her no and hugged her other sister and the girl started crying. This is the same kind of things she will do to my DD. I just wanted to jump up and down and do a dance! Her mom was like, you know she does that just to see you cry. I wanted to tell her mom, she was doing it because she learned it from her!

I have started keeping my distance from them. We used to hang out all the time. I have gotten to where I invite someone from her class over to play at least 2-3 times a week so she has someone to play with. They don't understand why you don't want them playing with them when the entire neighborhood is out there playing. If I could pick my house up and move it right now, I would do it in a heartbeat! Unfortunately, we have at least 2 more years here!

I have to say that girls are way more vicious than boys. With boys the bullying is sometimes more physical than emotional. With girls they try to mindf**k with you. All types of bullying is wrong, but girls just seem to be more nasty.
As parents I think we all try to believe the best in our kids. Though some are way more delusional than others. No one wants to hear their kid is doing something hurtful to another. Why, that would reflect on us as parents, kwim?

I'm glad you son has other friends and activities he can do. Hopefully this isn't going to continue into the summer.

There was an interesting story from a town not to far from where I am (I'm in Ottawa, story was in Prescott). Anyway, I guess a group of parents got fed up with the bullying that was happening in their town and went to their town council/police/mayor/ whoever would listen to try to get the situation resolved. Its still an ongoing process, but the bottomline is that they are showing the town that they aren't going to put it up with it any longer. They want the laws changed to protect victims and not the bullies.

Hope your son has some fun and enjoys soccer!!

Thanks everyone.

Things have been pretty quiet the last few days. My son played his first soccer game on Tues..and wouldn't you guess who's team he was playing against...yup..anthony's older brother. Their dad was there, he had to have seen us, but he didn't approach us or say hi. Just as well because that is not the place or time to talk with him.
Nick has been playing with one of the other boys in the neighbourhood the last couple days, just the two of them and they have been playing beautifully, working on a new fort.;0)..no anthony around to stir up sh!t.
Nick tells me anthony talked back to the bus driver again..no surprize..as she was trying to discipline him for bad behaviour on the bus he just walked by her and put his hand up in her face. That's another story all together.
I'm just glad there has been no other incidents since i last posted.

Navywife..sorry to hear that your family is dealing with this sort of thing too. What's with bad kids and cul de sacs anyway? Maybe it's that parents feel 'safe' living in cul de sacs and just let their kids roam around outside by themselves from a very early age. No fear of car traffic etc.. Then they never get the discipline they need perhaps? Anthony has been roaming the neighbourhood since preschool without supervision..shocking to me.

Cakes22..you are right, girls can be pretty viscious. At least boys just kinda say what they have to say and move on. Girls on the other hand let the issues linger forever.

You alll have been wonderfully supportive, thanks from the bottom of my heart.

Whatever happened to the days when if your parents found out you got into trouble at school............you also got into trouble at home?

That's how I was raised. I wouldn't dare go home and tell my parents that one of my teachers *unjustly* punished me because I knew damn well that they would always believe the teacher and then I'd be punished again at home.


Also, if we were misbehaving in the neighborhood our friend's parents didn't think twice about handing out some discipline to us, AND our parents wanted them to.

Ahhhhh, the good ole' days when kids actually respected their elders.........and parents weren't afraid to be *parents*.