angelicconfections Posted 25 Apr 2009 , 6:05pm
post #1 of

Ok, I just need to vent a little. I just got a phone call from a long time friend who wanted to order 2 cakes. I frequently do not charge her for her kid's birthday cakes as the cake is the present to the child. She now wants me to do a wedding cake for her brother-in-law's wedding in october. 4 tiers with an additional top tier for about 250 geusts. Geuss how much she generously offered to pay me since it isn't a single pan kids cake? $100, yep she assured her soon to be sister in law that I was super cheap and super good and her best friend so she could get her a great deal. She had to call the bride back who I hear shrieked in shock when she got the acutal price of $525. Then she burst into tears and told me that they were very broke, are going to have a baby and they just couldn't afford that kind of money for a cake. So then my friend called me back and related this sob story, and she promised the bride, and couldn't I keep her promise for her? I took a deep breath and calmly told my long time friend that I was sorry but I couldn't afford to eat $425 dollar loss. I explained to her that a cake that size was many hours worth of work and explained how much in raw matierals that a cake of that size costs. She then said she was going to the local bakery she used to use before I started doing cakes becasue she could get a sheet cake there for a lot less. Yes, I said you could but they closed 2 years ago and I could give her a sheet cake for a lot less too. The up shot is I told her for $150 I could sell her a small 2 tier cake and 2 sheet cakes. I am telling myself to not feel guilty and stick to my guns.

91 replies
sweetjan Posted 25 Apr 2009 , 6:17pm
post #2 of

Bless your heart, that is a bad story. But no, most people can't take a $400.00 loss. I'm sorry you're going through this as I can tell you care.
Best Wishes

sugarlover Posted 25 Apr 2009 , 6:18pm
post #3 of

I don't think so. Tell her to take her butt to Super Walmart w/that sad story. They knew they were getting married so they should have tucked money away for their big day. What nerve! icon_surprised.gif

butterfly831915 Posted 25 Apr 2009 , 6:21pm
post #4 of

I would have to wonder why such a big wedding if they have no money. Probably just another try of "it's just cake". Sure it's cake but you want it to be special don't you? Sad they are in the situation and you were placed in that situation. Your friend shouldn't of done that to you. Hope it doesn't hurt your friendship.

akgirl10 Posted 25 Apr 2009 , 6:22pm
post #5 of

Geez, even $150 for all that cake is a steal. Sorry, but if you're broke, don't invite 250 guests and expect everyone to give you deals. Your basically paying for their wedding cake.

pipercakes Posted 25 Apr 2009 , 6:26pm
post #6 of

Kudos to you for saying 'no'. I would be mad that my friend was recommending my business, saying I was cheap, with no thougt to how it affected me. She should be grateful you don't charge her for every kids birthday cake!!

iceit4me Posted 25 Apr 2009 , 6:28pm
post #7 of

I can totally relate to you. Your time, talent and expenses to make a lovely teired cake is so much work. I also am sooo tired of people whining about the prices I charge for cakes. You are worth every bit of the money! Hold out and stand your ground. You can do it!

jimandmollie Posted 25 Apr 2009 , 6:33pm
post #8 of

You know, when my husband and I got married both times (long story! lol) we didn't have the money for a wedding. I would have never dreamed of asking anyone for money or for free stuff. We went to the courthouse and went out to dinner (dutch) with family afterwards. I didn't get the wedding but I got the guy and that's all that matters. If you can't afford it then don't buy it. There are a lot of people in America that need to learn this lesson. Shame on her for not learning it sooner. She has no right to make you feel like a bad person because she is spoiled and wants what she doesn't need and can't afford. You stick to your guns dear!

MrsMabe Posted 25 Apr 2009 , 6:34pm
post #9 of

I'm sorry, but your friend has some nerve. If I got special deals from a friend, I would NOT go around offering those deals to other people and "promising" it could happen. And to call you back and give her friend's sob story? Incredibly tacky. I might have to reconsider giving her free birthday cakes after a stunt like that.

i_heart_pastry Posted 25 Apr 2009 , 6:36pm

You did the right thing. Your friend spoke out of turn; she never should have made an offer on your behalf (especially one so "out there!"). Sounds like the bride & groom are planning a wedding way beyond their budget...their concern, not yours! Hopefully your friend has learned a lesson and your friendship can get past it. Good luck!

Bec

ThreeDGirlie Posted 25 Apr 2009 , 6:41pm

You don't have a wedding for 250 guests if you're already expecting (using it as an excues) and you can't afford more than $100 for a cake. Period. End of story.

It's not your job to bail these people out when they're trying to have a wedding they can't afford.

solascakes Posted 25 Apr 2009 , 6:41pm

I don't understand this post,how can you be broke and have 250 guests.I was broke at my wedding and had 14 guests. Do i need glasses to re-read or what..........

tonimarie Posted 25 Apr 2009 , 6:44pm

I say way to stand up for yourself! (clapping for you!) Don't have a wedding for 250 people if you can't afford all the trappings that go along with it.

shelly-101 Posted 25 Apr 2009 , 6:53pm

I know how you feel i am going through the same thing with my little sister. She had me make a baby shower cupcake tower for her sister-in-law and promised to pay me because it really has nothing to do with me and i to make my nieces and nephews cakes for free because it is my gift to them any way when the cake was made and delivered and i am expecting payment my sister tells me she will pay me when she gets her pay check. OK no problem i say. just yesterday she calls me and says that her pay check is not as much as she thought it was going to be and her husband got laid off so could i please not make her pay for it that they just can not afford it and i am thinking to myself well how in the hell do you think that i can afford it. icon_mad.gificon_mad.gificon_mad.gif ya i feel bad for them but it is not fare to me or my family...my husband says i am no longer allowed to do cakes for my family because they just take advantage of me. he says if they want a cake for someone other than their kids i am to treat them as i would a regular paying customer. and if i don't tell them that then he will and he won't be nice about it icon_eek.gificon_eek.gif

solascakes Posted 25 Apr 2009 , 6:59pm

And your friend should apologise to you for even recomending you cos "you're cheap",how annoying is that.I ALWAYS let family members who are getting a free cake or even a DISCOUNT know the worth of the cake(a bit inflated of course since it's free),and also REMIND them to remember when recommending me that the price will not be the same.
I take offence to pple taking advantage of me, and in this case advantage of your friendship. Please let her know it's not done because she might not know.

ladym1 Posted 25 Apr 2009 , 7:01pm

Your "friend" had absolutely no right to make promises to anyone about what you would charge for a wedding cake. You decorate cakes as a business and you alone decide the cost of your services. Don't let anyone trivialize the work you do by offering to pay $100 for a wedding for 250 people. Unlike a birthday cake, wedding cakes take a lot of time and preparation.

solascakes Posted 25 Apr 2009 , 7:03pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by shelly101

I know how you feel i am going through the same thing with my little sister. She had me make a baby shower cupcake tower for her sister-in-law and promised to pay me because it really has nothing to do with me and i to make my nieces and nephews cakes for free because it is my gift to them any way when the cake was made and delivered and i am expecting payment my sister tells me she will pay me when she gets her pay check. OK no problem i say. just yesterday she calls me and says that her pay check is not as much as she thought it was going to be and her husband got laid off so could i please not make her pay for it that they just can not afford it and i am thinking to myself well how in the hell do you think that i can afford it. icon_mad.gificon_mad.gificon_mad.gif ya i feel bad for them but it is not fare to me or my family...my husband says i am no longer allowed to do cakes for my family because they just take advantage of me. he says if they want a cake for someone other than their kids i am to treat them as i would a regular paying customer. and if i don't tell them that then he will and he won't be nice about it icon_eek.gificon_eek.gif




You husband snatcher,you married my husband didn't you,what his name let's check if he is living a double life. icon_lol.gif
I have also been exactly there where my husband is ready to fight my sister over cakes any minute,plus he won't be nice at all.

Juds2323 Posted 25 Apr 2009 , 7:10pm

You could always be snarky and say in an innocent voice:

"If you wanted to you could pay the difference for the bride, and I won't say a word about it - so it looks like she got the cake for the price you promise. Because I know you don't want your word to be doubted.... I mean this price is already a special "friends only" price and all - so it's still a deal" LOL

Judi

shelly-101 Posted 25 Apr 2009 , 7:18pm
Quote:
Quote:

You husband snatcher,you married my husband didn't you,what his name let's check if he is living a double life. icon_lol.gif
I have also been exactly there where my husband is ready to fight my sister over cakes any minute,plus he won't be nice at all.


[/quote]

lol...that's funny. How did you handle it. I swear i have a little sign on my forehead that says i am a weeny and i can't say no so please feel free to take advantage of me.

cylstrial Posted 25 Apr 2009 , 7:23pm

Aww...I'm sorry that happened to you! It sounds like you are really going to have sit down and resolve these issues with your friend. She can't keep telling people that you are cheap. That's so rude. You need to tell her how much time and energy it takes to make a cake. Then go and get the pictures of the cakes that you have made for her and say, now if I hadn't given this cake to you as a gift, I would have charged you $150 for such and such. Hopefully, she will get the idea!

solascakes Posted 25 Apr 2009 , 7:38pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by shelly101



lol...that's funny. How did you handle it. I swear i have a little sign on my forehead that says i am a weeny and i can't say no so please feel free to take advantage of me.




Jesus icon_surprised.gif , not only have you snatched my husband but you have snatched me,you body snatcher.
Unfortunately people say I have a baby face,that might be my downfall,but I got over it when my sister came on an inpromptu visit and I was decorating a wedding cake,I was on my feet in the kitchen the whole time she was with me,I was too busy.She then went OMG this is such hard work,you've not moved from this kitchen the whole time,I didn't realise.Plus I always tell people it takes a week to make a big cake. icon_biggrin.gif
I also had a friend who will ALWAYS have a story everytime she ordered a cake so she gets huge discounts from me icon_mad.gif .She ordered a wedding cake for her friend one time its a 14",12" and 9" and stressed me to collect £120 .FOOLISHLY i agreed ,finished the cake at 2.30 am and cried till 3a.m,I felt so cheated. My dear that was the last time i did a cake and not happy with the price,I have done that cake again I charged £250 icon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gif .
No more crying.

Narie Posted 25 Apr 2009 , 7:38pm
Quote:
Quote:

If you can't afford it, then don't buy it. There are a lot of people in America that need to learn this lesson.


Amen to that. With the economy the way it is, very few people can afford to be taken in by sob stories. A fancy wedding with cake is a luxury not everyone can afford, nor should they. I sincerly hope that one by product of this recession/ depression will be the end of age of excess and splurge. It really is time to for people to relearn the old adage "cutting their coats according to their cloth."

bakingatthebeach Posted 25 Apr 2009 , 7:44pm

Thats like if your friends husband sold cars, and you promised your brother in law that he would sell him a car under cost. Whats wrong with people. First off, they arent broke, they are having a wedding with 250 guests. Thats not broke. And the wedding money they get from those guests can pay for the cake if they want cake for that many people. It is so frustrating when people act like making a cake is no big deal and no big cost. Or as someone suggested, let your friend purchase the cake from you as a gift to the couple.

angelicconfections Posted 25 Apr 2009 , 7:50pm

she and I have been going back and forth all day by phone and email we really are not fighting she just keeps trying to talk me down. I know this friend very, very well we are in our 30's and met when I was 15. Three of her 4 kids are my first cousins. She offered to taken on the major wedding planning since the bride and groom are broke. They thought they would just married at the court house and have everyone meet later at my friend's house for a kegger and maybe grilled chicken and brats. Yes, the bride and groom are a lot younger than my friend and I. We have in the past done a lot of parties togeather as a team. I have pitched in the cake as part of my share, like her kid's birthday cakes, and once I did one cupcake tower free but the bride was my first cousin and that was my wedding gift to her. It was also only about 50 guests because they were super broke. My friend just doesn't seem to get that when I do big wedding cakes I actually do get paied for it and she doesn't understand why I will not give her brother in law and his bride a cake basically for free. Like I said she offered to pay $100 but in a cake that size that isn't much more than the matierial costs. When she and my other best friend did my baby shower they had a falling out over the cost of things and I really don't want a reapeat. I have agreed to do sheet cakes. My friend just doesn't see that there is a big difference in a double batch of cupcakes and big wedding cake. Thanks everyone for the support, none of my close family or friends do cake and don't really understand that it really is WORK!! I did a fairy princess castle cake for her youngest daughter's 6th birthady last year, it was all MMF and different flavors and of course a lot of time and effort. I pointed out to her today that the castle cake took about 20 hours all told she was speechless. I invited her to come over tomorrow and watch me make a gradution cake. It is only to tiers but it has a lot of detail, she may get the picture then. Thanks again all,

Angie

miss_sweetstory Posted 25 Apr 2009 , 7:56pm

Bravo! Bravo! Standing ovation for Angie!!!


icon_biggrin.gifking.gifprincess.gifparty.gifmadhatter.gif

solascakes Posted 25 Apr 2009 , 8:05pm

That's it Angie I was going to suggest,invite her to come help you and make her work,then she'll know. Good luck to you.

doughdough Posted 25 Apr 2009 , 8:07pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by sugarlover

They knew they were getting married so they should have tucked money away for their big day. What nerve! icon_surprised.gif




With a baby on the way, I'm not so sure they "knew" they were getting married....

But that still doesn't mean they deserve a cake they can't afford. Bravo to the OP for sticking to your guns, as well as offering a compromise to them. Hopefully they are smart enough to take it!

step0nmi Posted 25 Apr 2009 , 8:09pm

wow angie! I commend you for sticking to your guns! I think you should and I feel bad for you that your friend doesn't value your time icon_sad.gif

good luck with having her watch you make cake! icon_biggrin.gif

Criola Posted 25 Apr 2009 , 8:27pm

Great job in saying no...Family and friends are the first to try and screw you...I figured this out after many, many cakes...lol

Texas_Rose Posted 25 Apr 2009 , 8:29pm

Maybe you should suggest to your friend that she make cupcakes for the event instead. The baking time and supplies for 250 cupcakes alone should tell her how much goes into it.

It sounds like the couple wants a big wedding in hopes that they get lots of gifts, otherwise why not have a more manageable guest list. How can your friend fit 250 people in her house anyhow? Where are they all going to park?

My sister tries to take advantage of me the way that your friend (whether she realizes it or not) is doing to you. Once I made six dozen cupcakes for her old college roommate's sister's bridal shower, with fondant roses on each cupcake, and when my sister showed up 30 minutes before the party to pick them up, she gave me three dollars and said that was all she had on her. We had been trying to get caught up on our electric bill so it wouldn't get shut off and we had been eating, rice, beans or pancakes for dinner every night...spending $60 for two weeks on groceries for 4 people...and the cupcake supplies cut into my grocery budget in a big way. I told her she had to pay what I actually spent on the supplies, and she had my mom bring me $20 and suggest that if I couldn't afford to feed my family, I get food stamps. That really soured me on baking for a while, and after that I learned to stand up for myself a little better. My husband still says the same thing about not baking for family, though.

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