another cheap bride with sob story, humph

Decorating By angelicconfections Updated 25 May 2009 , 4:39pm by Denise

solascakes Posted 25 Apr 2009 , 8:35pm
post #31 of 92

Ok i don't mean this but.....
I HATE FAMILY AND CLOSE FRIENDS

Texas_Rose Posted 25 Apr 2009 , 8:37pm
post #32 of 92
Quote:
Originally Posted by solascakes

Ok i don't mean this but.....
I HATE FAMILY AND CLOSE FRIENDS




icon_lol.gif

clovely Posted 25 Apr 2009 , 8:44pm
post #33 of 92

I agree with everyone...people are clueless. The problem, at least for me, is that I (we) enjoy and want to do this - some people seem to be trying to ruin that sometimes. When you're bending over backwards already, doing the kids' cakes and offering to do the cake rock-bottom already...to expect miracles for next to nothing and then try to "haggle" is insulting and hurtful.

These people have no business having a wedding for 250 people. And if your friend talked them into it and told them she'd handle it, she needs to cough up $525.

The dh's who get angry at us being taken advantage of have good reason. They have a stake in this too - in the time we spend in the kitchen while we could be doing so many other things, the expense we may or may not be reimbursed for (baking for friends), and sometimes the stress and emotion they have to endure when it might not be going smoothly - or is that just me and my poor dh?

AmyGonzalez Posted 25 Apr 2009 , 9:05pm
post #34 of 92

It is really hard when it's your close friend who EXPECTS free cake, but stick to your guns or this may wind up being one of many free cakes in the future. People really have no idea what kind of work goes into cake. icon_sad.gif

JenLen Posted 25 Apr 2009 , 9:20pm
post #35 of 92

$525 is a drop in the bucket when planning a wedding for 250 guests. If she can't afford that, and if they are worried about the cost of their new baby, maybe they shouldn't be throwing such a large event. Use the money to buy diapers! Sounds like your friend is trying to take advantage of you......no real friend if you ask me! icon_smile.gif

shelbur10 Posted 25 Apr 2009 , 9:23pm
post #36 of 92

You're absolutely right, people have no idea! I recently did a big cake (for me, anyway...nothing on the scale of most CCers...) and my family commented, oh, well, it's not like you had to spend that much to make it. Ahem...I spent about $80 on that two tier cake, what with cake drum, boxes, fondant, gumpaste, ingredients...the list goes on and on. No, I didn't use all the supplies up on that cake, but I still had to buy them, didn't I? And pay shipping! And that says nothing of the TIME it took me to make it. A couple days after that comment, my sis asked me to make some gp figures for my niece's grad and offered to pay for them. thumbs_up.gifCongrats on sticking to your guns! I'm sorry your friend is discounting your work like that, possibly she is genuinely clueless and means no harm. Here's hoping she will come and watch you make a cake and get a clue!

joenshan Posted 25 Apr 2009 , 9:25pm
post #37 of 92

This is a pet peeve for me. If I utilize the services of a friend, or friend of a friend, it's not so that I don't have to pay for it. I do it because I would rather give my business to them than a stranger. I WANT them to make money. As a matter of fact, my best friend for 30 years owns an auto repair shop. Unfortunately, I won't take my car there because they refuse to charge me.

I just had to get that off my chest with all these posts about people expecting you talented people to do things for free.

mayamia Posted 25 Apr 2009 , 9:35pm
post #38 of 92

you did the right thing angie, I just dont understand how sometimes friends and family expect things for free or super cheap, sometimes they rather spending their money somewhere else than doing business with you, but thats another story.
hope this issue gets solved soon and peacefully, and i agree if you are broke dont make such a big party.

Chef_Stef Posted 25 Apr 2009 , 9:50pm
post #39 of 92

Even for an old friend, I'd have laughed long and loud if she said she *promised* this bride basically a free wedding cake! Seriously.

Then, I'd have said, "Oh...HONey. I wish you hadn't done that. Now you have to go back and explain to her that your meanyhead old friend has done all the 'donating' she's going to do for the year, what with all the FRIENDS AND FAMILY getting free kids birthdays and all. You understand, of course, that since she runs a cake business, she can't afford to do a giant wedding cake at less than cost."

On a different note, $2.10 a serving ($525 for 250?), is WAY TOO CHEAP for a wedding cake. She's getting a steal of a deal, even at your full price. Tell her to pick up a recent Bride's magazine and see for herself.

I have no sympathy when it comes to pricing. It is what it is; they can pay or they can't. Like my DH says, "It's Ok, (cheap customer), 'no' isn't a bad answer."

Next....?

jlynnw Posted 25 Apr 2009 , 9:52pm
post #40 of 92
Quote:
Originally Posted by Texas_Rose

Maybe you should suggest to your friend that she make cupcakes for the event instead. The baking time and supplies for 250 cupcakes alone should tell her how much goes into it.

It sounds like the couple wants a big wedding in hopes that they get lots of gifts, otherwise why not have a more manageable guest list. How can your friend fit 250 people in her house anyhow? Where are they all going to park?

My sister tries to take advantage of me the way that your friend (whether she realizes it or not) is doing to you. Once I made six dozen cupcakes for her old college roommate's sister's bridal shower, with fondant roses on each cupcake, and when my sister showed up 30 minutes before the party to pick them up, she gave me three dollars and said that was all she had on her. We had been trying to get caught up on our electric bill so it wouldn't get shut off and we had been eating, rice, beans or pancakes for dinner every night...spending $60 for two weeks on groceries for 4 people...and the cupcake supplies cut into my grocery budget in a big way. I told her she had to pay what I actually spent on the supplies, and she had my mom bring me $20 and suggest that if I couldn't afford to feed my family, I get food stamps. That really soured me on baking for a while, and after that I learned to stand up for myself a little better. My husband still says the same thing about not baking for family, though.




Uhmm, excuse me, but If your did not have to spend your family's money on her cake, then you would not have to stretch your budget. It you were to get paid what the cake/cupcakes are worth, you would not be on such a strict budget. This give me free, just go get on food stamps, I deserve to have an extravagant wedding cake nonsense needs to stop! FS are not a way of life, expecting everything for nothing is. I think it is crap that anyone, much alone family, would say this to you.

OP, tell your friend to buy the ingredients, boxes, boards, etc and beings your "friends" you can do it for the minimal $100 charge she is talking about, just to cover the basic charges of electricity, water, soap, and use of equipment you have invested in. You know, that as your friends, she will also provide you family with meals while you are working on this as well as being the clean up person for you. The meals will have to be take out as your kitchen is working on the cake and you don't want to violate the health code by having raw meat near the cake. You wouldn't want the guests to get sick would you? Also, as you do have a family to tend to, what hours do you work on your cake, the regular 9 - 5 or do you have a "real" job that will require her to help you until 2 or 3 a.m. to get the cake done? Sorry to vent, but these "friends and family" need to get a check of reality!

angelicconfections Posted 26 Apr 2009 , 1:51am
post #41 of 92

Baker bear said...
With a baby on the way, I'm not so sure they "knew" they were getting married....

bakerbear, you are quite right. they have been sort of talking about getting married for a while now but decided to hurry up now.

How did they expect to get 250 people in her house? They didn't. Both my friend and I, about 15 miles apart live in very rual WI. Her place is even a bit more rual than mine. They have big parties there all the time. She doesn't really have everyone in the house but has her very own party tent. I don't think the bride and groom were planning such a huge event, somthing more like a graduation open house party. They are pretty young, 21. They didn't really give it any serious thought, I have meet these kids and they are clueless. Someone else mentioned that they seem to be seeking gifts. Also true, my friend I think raised their expectations on this too. I think I know how it went

Wedding? Really, no don't worry I can help you out. Just a few close friends and family? Nah, you won't get good gifts that way. Hey, I can help out, you remember Ang, you know the one who makes all the kids's cakes. Yeah, her listen I can get a steal for you, she never charges [/i]never me. Oh yes, we're tight family really. Remember Summer's cake last summer, yeah castle right, not a penny. She'll do it, I can talk her into it no worries.

then,

Oh, sorry. She wouldn't play. I don't know what's wrong with her today. Let's say we'll get it somewhere else and see if that brings her down.

Well, she said no, again, like she's actually trying to make a profit, off me, how do you like that. That other baker, the one I mentioned to her, it closed it's doors. Totaly, you know we might have to do the sheet cakes, no one else will do it that cheap.

Oh, Ang she is happy with the sheet cakes, if we can't do any better than that. Yes, I know this is your business and the ingredients aren't free. I just thought you would help me out a bit, you know cuz we're so close.

lol, I laughed until I cried. icon_biggrin.gif
Anyway, I have her coming over tomorrow, I'll let you all know what she says after seeing me in action.

xstitcher Posted 26 Apr 2009 , 1:52am
post #42 of 92

Your friend offered to pay $0.40 per serving????? You can't even buy a candy bar on sale for that much! Even $525 is a total steal!

I really like the suggestions that jlynnw had. Charge the $100 then get her to buy all the supplies and help out with everything too.

Quote:
Originally Posted by jlynnw


........
OP, tell your friend to buy the ingredients, boxes, boards, etc and beings your "friends" you can do it for the minimal $100 charge she is talking about, just to cover the basic charges of electricity, water, soap, and use of equipment you have invested in. You know, that as your friends, she will also provide you family with meals while you are working on this as well as being the clean up person for you. The meals will have to be take out as your kitchen is working on the cake and you don't want to violate the health code by having raw meat near the cake. You wouldn't want the guests to get sick would you? Also, as you do have a family to tend to, what hours do you work on your cake, the regular 9 - 5 or do you have a "real" job that will require her to help you until 2 or 3 a.m. to get the cake done? Sorry to vent, but these "friends and family" need to get a check of reality!




thumbs_up.gif

jlynnw Posted 26 Apr 2009 , 2:18am
post #43 of 92

That still would not be a good idea. I bet the cake from start to finish will take at least 10 hours or better. That is only making $10.00 per hour. I think you should write out the actuall cost of the ingredients, pan spray, cake boards, drums, boxes and everything. Plus the time in the oven for it to bake and the hours the cake will need AC on. I don't know how much electricity is for you, but for 2 days with an oven on isn't cheap! The AC needs to be on in some places due to humidity and all. Then there is the refridgerator. Plus the cost of the supplies you have on hand. This is not a cheap hobby! This is not a cheap business! After all that, point out how many HOURS you will have to work on it, the inconvenience to the family. What all are you giving up to lose money for a family friend of a friend of a friend. The ask her would she give this up IF SHE has the skill? I think not. An honest days pay for an honest day's work? NO. She needs to realize you have blessed her and the children for your love of them and your craft. To continue to give when she has advertised you as a cheap decorator is not only insulting as a friend but a slap in the face to the artist you are. If she can not see that, have her take the kids cake pics and get the price. Your not a cheap decorator just a friend with a lot of love to give!

costumeczar Posted 26 Apr 2009 , 3:20am
post #44 of 92

I'd charge around $900 for a cake to serve 250 people, so your price is a steal. This would have pissed me off tremendously, so stick to your guns and don't give her ONE PENNY discount! If she starts with the "but we're frieeeeends!" crap, Tell her that yes, you are friends, and you can't believe that she would want to take advantage of a friend the way she's trying to do to you!

My brother-in-law started in with me today about "how's the sucker business" going, referring to wedding cakes. (According to him anyone who spends that much money for a wedding cake is a sucker) After I "politely" explained that people are paying for the cake, shopping time, cleaning time, decorating time, planning time, time to answer too many emails and phone calls, and that I don't work for minimum wage, he seemed to get it. He got married about 25 years ago, and a friend made their cake for free for them, and he said that he didn't realize what a big favor she had done for them until now. DUUUUUHHH! icon_mad.gif

jlynnw Posted 26 Apr 2009 , 3:36am
post #45 of 92

It amazes me when people expect a free or cheap cake but when you want their talent in some way, they are really valuable. It seems they think their hobby and skill is worth something but a cake is just flour, sugar and eggs, so why so much? I don't expect my haircut, electrical work, plumbing, tile work, car fixed for nothing so why do you all think your cake is FREE? icon_confused.gif

Shelle_75 Posted 26 Apr 2009 , 12:59pm
post #46 of 92
Quote:
Originally Posted by xstitcher

Your friend offered to pay $0.40 per serving????? You can't even buy a candy bar on sale for that much!




I have never thought about it that way, but what an excellent point!!

solascakes Posted 26 Apr 2009 , 1:11pm
post #47 of 92
Quote:
Originally Posted by jlynnw

It amazes me when people expect a free or cheap cake but when you want their talent in some way, they are really valuable. It seems they think their hobby and skill is worth something but a cake is just flour, sugar and eggs, so why so much? I don't expect my haircut, electrical work, plumbing, tile work, car fixed for nothing so why do you all think your cake is FREE? icon_confused.gif





But what do you mean, they are right, its just FLOUR,and a bit of sugar,....................ok maybe some eggs.It's not like a dress or a holiday,please chill out.You can make the cake for $20. icon_lol.gif

gscout73 Posted 26 Apr 2009 , 1:39pm
post #48 of 92
Quote:
Originally Posted by shelly101

lol...that's funny. How did you handle it. I swear i have a little sign on my forehead that says i am a weeny and i can't say no so please feel free to take advantage of me.




Me too! I used to see it when I looked in the mirror when I would come home from work. icon_cool.gif
I've been laid off now for 3 months and not coincidentally, I have not seen it in my reflection lately.

rsaun Posted 26 Apr 2009 , 1:45pm
post #49 of 92

This happened to me, and stupidly, I bought the sob story...and did a 4-tier wedding cake for $125.00 (I know...shoot me now). Then, when I went to deliver it to the address I was given, I was certain there was a mistake, because it was a huge, beautiful reception hall, decorated PROFESSIONALLY. Then, I put my cake on the cake table, and while I was assembling it, another woman brings in an extremely fancy groom's cake and places it on the table, too. I asked if she was family, and she said, "No, I'm from ___ bakery." I said, "Oh." She said, "Yeah, they only ordered the groom's cake for me, since you were willing to give them the wedding cake for a GREAT discount," and then she smiled and winked at me. Let me mention, that in the background we were listening to the clinks and clanks from the kitchen as white-jacketed PROFESSIONAL CATERERS were preparing food for the reception. Finally, as the final straw of insult was placed upon my already weak and weary back, I heard someone say, "What time is the limo with the bride and groom arriving here at the reception hall again?"

Yeah, I just about lost it. These poor, young college students DESPERATELY needed a "deal" on their wedding cake because they decided to get married "quickly" before she headed off on a trip abroad to deworm orphans in Somalia or something like that and he started taking classes at seminary. I thought, okay, mission work and pastoral care, sure, I'll help them out. I was taken, plain and simple, and will NEVER do that again! icon_redface.gif

indydebi Posted 26 Apr 2009 , 1:58pm
post #50 of 92

First, I always (ALWAYS!) find it amazing that these people want a big ornately decorated piece of sugary art, but when they can't get it for nothing, then SUDDENLY a crappy sheet cake is "ok". icon_confused.gif

Quote:
Originally Posted by costumeczar

After I "politely" explained that people are paying for the cake, shopping time, cleaning time, decorating time, planning time, time to answer too many emails and phone calls, and that I don't work for minimum wage, he seemed to get it.



I had a lady call for just a couple-three hot dishes she wanted for a party (drop-off, not my full catering). I sent her the quote and she replied "Wow! I'm so out of the loop! I had no idea catering was so expensive!" and she told me she'd just go ahead and do the food herself. She said she rarely even goes to the grocery (job - travels a lot) so she's not even sure what regular groceries cost anymore. She was actually very nice about it.

I replied "That is fine. Unless you do a lot of entertaining, most people are unaware. They can figure the cost of the food, but don't stop to think that they are also paying for the labor to buy the supplies, prep the food, cook the food, the equipment, the delivery, the clean-up, etc..." (I then offered her some suggestions on where she could get some good prices on bulk food items.)

They think they are paying for THE FOOD. It's much, much more than that.

solascakes Posted 26 Apr 2009 , 2:01pm
post #51 of 92

rsaun what did you do to get over it,I would have called them after the wedding to let them know how cheated i feel(you never know they might have a concience).I'm not looking for more money but so maybe they won't do that to someone else.
And of course i'll have a good cry and wallow in self pity,till I snap out of it.

bethola Posted 26 Apr 2009 , 2:06pm
post #52 of 92

My Best Friend is a Florist. Recently her step daughter got married and, of course, I did the cake as a gift. I wanted to do it because she had given us a HUGE discount (like cost) when my son got married and even provided free equipment to decorate the reception. So, I felt like it was the very LEAST I could do.

We were shopping last week and I wanted to buy a pair of MBT shoes (check 'em out ladies...they ROCK....literally! LOL) so when I went to pay for them she gave a wad of cash to the salesman. I'm protesting and she is INSISTING...you know the drill. I finally gave in but before I did she told the salesman "She just made a GORGEOUS $500 PLUS cake for my stepdaughter's wedding. This is the very LEAST I can do!" THAT'S why I do things for my friends. They are literally ALL like this! Gift cards, little gifts that I enjoy all seem to come my way as their way of saying "We appreciate your hard work". That's NOT why I do it...but it sure does make me feel good to know THEY "know"!

Beth in KY

I know this is kinda "off subject" but just wanted to share a GOOD Bride story since "Its a Beautiful Day in MY Neighborhood!"

christeena Posted 26 Apr 2009 , 2:09pm
post #53 of 92

rsaun,

I so would have wanted to take my "cheap" wedding cake right back out the door. I would have then called them and said that you are positive that they gave you the wrong address for the reception and you couldn't find their location! Besides that, don't you have a contract with the clause about no other cakes but yours at the reception?? Another reason to take said "cheap" wedding cake to the nearest homeless shelter!

solascakes Posted 26 Apr 2009 , 2:49pm
post #54 of 92

bethola can you introduce me to some of your nice friends please,mine just seem to use me esp my ex-best friend of 15 yrs.(yes i'm bitter).

edited to add the ex

rsaun Posted 26 Apr 2009 , 2:54pm
post #55 of 92

Solascakes, I got over it by saying "no" next time they needed a cake. I quoted my price, and she said, "Could you come down on that any?" I said, "No. That price is firm." Well, she said she was going to look around and then called back about a week or two later and said they wanted to go with me after all, but by then, we had just learned we were moving from Ohio to Oklahoma, and so I couldn't do it. I was somewhat satisfied to do that, because I know she had to then go with someone more expensive.

Christeena, No I didn't have the "no other cakes" clause in my contract at the time (I was brand new at doing this...learning from mistakes, no doubt), but you'd better believe it is in there NOW! icon_rolleyes.gif

sugarMomma Posted 26 Apr 2009 , 3:05pm
post #56 of 92

I have gone through the same thing many, many times with so many "friends". After making a wedding cake for a friend's wedding for free (my wedding gift to her) I am expected to do free birthday and baby shower cakes for her and everyone I know.

Last year my manager at work was mentioning that her birthday was coming up the next month, so I asked her what her favorite flavor was in case I had time to make her a cake. A week beforehand, she told me that her husband asked her what to do about the cake for her party and she told him not to worry, I was going to do it. (Party??) So I asked her how many people did she expect. She replied, oh about 250 or so, don't you think?
Unbeknownst to me, she had rented out a local restaurant and sent flyers out to all the local bars where we work in the restaurant industry...And this was all 2 weeks after the 150 person free wedding cake (to which only about 60 people showed). And I never got my cake boards back from either event. Can't really charge against their deposit...
Last week this same manager called me about her husband wanting one of my cakes for his birthday party--"chocolate with chocolate mousse filling, peanut butter icing and chocolate ganache drizzle, or whatever flavor you feel like doing, but you don't have to..." knowing this is a hint that they expect it for free. Ironically she was having my DH take her to do some grocery shopping, so I gave him a list of the ingredients I wanted her to pick up for the cake. I know she wasn't expecting it, and he said her eyes got real big and she was shocked at the amount of ingredients. "She needs all this? For one little cake." Since when is 14" little?
I relayed that story and list to my friend for whom I did the wedding cake, and she replied, "oh, I just thought you made cakes from a box.."
Which I don't, but even if I did, do they think a cake costs us the face value of only the box itself? People are so clueless...
This same friend came over to borrow a small cake pan to do a bridal shower cake, "unless I wanted to do it" she said. (A simple "No" was all I said) and she later sent me a pic of the finished disaster. I sent her back a message saying "Now maybe you have a new perspective on what I go through." She whole heartedly agreed...

From now on, I am charging for the wedding cake and buying them a crockpot.
Sorry this ran long, don't mean to hijack, but all your stories got me fired up and I had to vent also.

sugarMomma Posted 26 Apr 2009 , 3:12pm
post #57 of 92

And I didn't even mention that my birthday was last month, and though I am expected to make cakes as my gift to them, they didn't so much as give me a card. And they knew it was my birthday, being I was so broke I picked up a shift to work on my birthday. (A funeral at that)

costumeczar Posted 26 Apr 2009 , 4:43pm
post #58 of 92
Quote:
Originally Posted by sugarMomma

I relayed that story and list to my friend for whom I did the wedding cake, and she replied, "oh, I just thought you made cakes from a box.."
.




Yeah, you open the box and the cake comes out totally baked and decorated icon_lol.gif

jlynnw Posted 26 Apr 2009 , 5:53pm
post #59 of 92

Of course there is nothing to doing a box cake. Pan spray, eggs, oil, water, the pans in the oven, the cooling racks, the saran wrap, refridgerator, canned icing of course, bags, tips, couplers, and I do suppose I should have towels and cleaning products for all of it. Yes, I can do your cake for 25 cents a person. My family really doesn't eat much, I will just take it out of the family budget. Yea, I am so poor doing cakes for all my "dear" friends and family I may have to look into food stamps to feed them. I know, I know, I should really charge what the cakes costs and all but you, my "dear' friend only want to pay me the 99 cents for a box of cake. tapedshut.gif
Just got a call for an impromtu wedding (sure, she is not preggers, just gained a bump icon_confused.gif

angelicconfections Posted 26 Apr 2009 , 6:28pm
post #60 of 92

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