pnnllj Posted 2 Feb 2009 , 12:55am
post #1 of

I had to call and cancel a 2nd consultation tomorrow because my son has come down with a kidney infection and I have to get him to the doctor in the morning. She was very put out and said 'well I guess your son in more important than my wedding cake'. He certainly is to me!!! I apologized several times and set up another appointment for 4pm when dad gets off work. Her wedding's not till September for Pete's sake. I was so upset I wanted to tell her she could get her cake at Walmart for all I care...but I bit my tongue and apologized again. I would like to know how anyone else would handle these types of situations. Thanks for listening, I needed to get that off my chest.

61 replies
antonia74 Posted 2 Feb 2009 , 1:04am
post #2 of

I'll bet you'd rather tell her to "stuff it" and you wouldn't be wrong in doing so! icon_mad.gif Some brides are so self-centered when it comes to their wedding day that they just lose track of life going on around them.

To be polite, if she argues the matter, I'd just say...

"I apologize for having to reschedule on such short notice, but a family emergency has arisen that was unforeseen. The same consideration would of course be given to you if you were in need of delaying an appointment with me. I do hope you understand. Thank you."

And if she just doesn't "get it". Send her...

"Thank you for your inquiry. Here are a few recommended bakers in our area that you can contact for your wedding cake. I will not be filling your order at this time. Have a wonderful wedding."
thumbs_up.gif

southerncake Posted 2 Feb 2009 , 1:11am
post #3 of
Quote:
Originally Posted by antonia74

I'll bet you'd rather tell her to "stuff it" and you wouldn't be wrong in doing so! icon_mad.gif Some brides are so self-centered when it comes to their wedding day that they just lose track of life going on around them.

To be polite, if she argues the matter, I'd just say...

"I apologize for having to reschedule on such short notice, but a family emergency has arisen that was unforeseen. The same consideration would of course be given to you if you were in need of delaying an appointment with me. I do hope you understand. Thank you."

And if she just doesn't "get it". Send her...

"Thank you for your inquiry. Here are a few recommended bakers in our area that you can contact for your wedding cake. I will not be filling your order at this time. Have a wonderful wedding."
thumbs_up.gif




Perfect!! Exactly what I was thinking!!

jillmakescakes Posted 2 Feb 2009 , 1:14am
post #4 of

I totally agree with Antonia74. If she REALLY thinks that her tasting appointment, not even her actual wedding cake, is more important that your son (is he OK? hope so) than you should definitely tell her that she will have to look elsewhere.

cakesdivine Posted 2 Feb 2009 , 1:22am
post #5 of

You held it together much better than I would have. I would have answered her question with a big resounding YES! my son is more important to me than your wedding which is 8 months away, and if you are that self centered of a human being to not understand that, then I don't think I want to reward your narsacistic behavior with one of my amazing creations. GOODBYE AND GOOD LUCK!

But that's just me. Don't mess with my family... icon_wink.gif

Chef_Rinny Posted 2 Feb 2009 , 1:27am
post #6 of

Wow! icon_surprised.gif People never fail to amaze me with their self centered views. Of course your son is more important! Poor guy! I hope he is ok!

indydebi Posted 2 Feb 2009 , 1:31am
post #7 of

Good thing you have folks like Antonia to advise you on how to handle this properly, because I probably would have mouthed off "you bet he is, b&tch!" icon_mad.gif

Geesh, somebody thinks she really is the center of the universe, doesn't she!

As I said in an earlier thread today ... just because you are paying for my cake and my time, doesn't mean I have prostituted myself to take anything you want to dish out.

The door swings both ways. Don't let it hit you in the rear end on your way out.

Eisskween Posted 2 Feb 2009 , 1:32am
post #8 of
Quote:
Originally Posted by antonia74

I'll bet you'd rather tell her to "stuff it" and you wouldn't be wrong in doing so! icon_mad.gif Some brides are so self-centered when it comes to their wedding day that they just lose track of life going on around them.

To be polite, if she argues the matter, I'd just say...

"I apologize for having to reschedule on such short notice, but a family emergency has arisen that was unforeseen. The same consideration would of course be given to you if you were in need of delaying an appointment with me. I do hope you understand. Thank you."

And if she just doesn't "get it". Send her...

"Thank you for your inquiry. Here are a few recommended bakers in our area that you can contact for your wedding cake. I will not be filling your order at this time. Have a wonderful wedding."
thumbs_up.gif




::APPLAUDS:: This is perfect. You have to think about this one. Do you really want to deal with a selfish, spoiled, heartless, brat? Is it worth it? I know I wouldn't want to deal with someone like that. She will be nothing but trouble. But that's my opinion. Good luck.

Also, I hope you son feels better soon! icon_biggrin.gif

swoozie Posted 2 Feb 2009 , 2:18am
post #9 of

Hope your some feels better soon!
I am soo glad that I am among people that have tasted foot in mouth!
Sometimes I taste ankle!
The disease has eased a bit the older I get, or maybe I am just getting craftier at my comebacks.

pnnllj Posted 2 Feb 2009 , 2:47am

Thank you all for your advice, I wish I could think faster on my feet! She caught me so off guard. Anyway, thank you also for your concern for my son. He's as miserable as you can imagine a 9 year old with a kidney infection, at least that's what the medi-center doctor diagnosed. Still, we are going to see 'our' doctor in the morning to double check.
Thanks again!

jamiekwebb Posted 2 Feb 2009 , 2:59am

I have two little boys and when they are sick everything stops.... EVERYthing. That includes cakes. Good grief what a selfish moron. Hope he gets better soon.

sarahpierce Posted 2 Feb 2009 , 3:02am

Definetly price high! I would at least double your prices for this PITA. You need to make it worth dealing with her. icon_twisted.gif

FromScratch Posted 2 Feb 2009 , 3:02am

I would have told her to stuff it up her selfish a$$ (moderator edited). Who says that???? I would have told her to choke on a Wal*Mart cake. And this was for a 2nd consult? As in there was already a consult? People don't get 2nd consults with me unless there is something drastic changing with their cake. She sounds like a selfish brat and frankly I'd tell her to get packing.

"In light of our recent conversation, and your apparent lack of concern for anything but your precious little self, I can no longer feel comfortable providing your wedding cake. Good luck with your wedding and your life."

B@tch (moderator edited). How shallow and self absorbed do you have to be to not understand that, yeah, someone's son having a kidney infection and needing to go to the doctor is WORLDS more important than your 2nd consult.

littlecake Posted 2 Feb 2009 , 4:22am

please don't do this selfish brat's cake.

i've sent more people to wal mart than i'd care to admit....i'm not rude, but i don't try hard to spare their feelings either...

i've told several of the self centered @#$%^ thatv "i'm so sorry, i don't think i'm your baker, i don't think i can please you.

the look on these pampered !@#$s faces is priceless....they aren't used to being put in their place.

AND I PROMISE YOU....if you ditch her....a nice person will come and fill her slot...that's how the universe is.

they think we really need their money, so they can treat us like dirt...don't let her.

liapsim Posted 2 Feb 2009 , 4:36am

I'm glad Antonia's advice was first and I'm glad it was you in the situation instead of me (sorry)!

I have two kids: My daughter who is 7 and has an unknown bleeding disorder-her nosebleeds last about 2 hrs and they happen AT LEAST 4 times a week, this started when she was 2 years old. She also has kidney reflux disease for the past 3 years. Doctors have told us she will never grow out of either illness. My son, who is 2 1/2 yrs old, has gastronal problems where he has a hard time digesting his food....which leaves him severely constipated. he has had to have an enema EVERY night of his life since he was 6 months. He also has a very rough case of RSV (respiratory virus). He has had it 11 times since he was 3 months old. Last year it almost killed it on Valentine's weekend. Doctors said he will never grow out of it, but it will turn into a severe asthma.

So when it comes to my kids, I'm serious. You can do anything you want to me, but when you mess with my kids....you mess with hell. I have no fear when it comes to protecting my children. And to me, that is a personal insult with what she said. I would have had a hard time being polite.

So, kudos to you for being so polite and keeping your cool and I think Antonia has a very polite answer for you.

Butterpatty Posted 2 Feb 2009 , 4:42am

Does your contract include a line item charge for being witchy? icon_evil.gif - if so, mark it twice!

Deb_ Posted 2 Feb 2009 , 12:58pm

Bridezilla syndrome is running rampant these days, isn't it?

First, I hope your son is feeling better, the poor little guy, kidney infections are so uncomfortable.

Second, If it were me, I'd call her and cancel the consult, for good. You don't need the stress that this spoiled brat will dish out to you.

I had a similar situation a couple of years ago. My Dad had died unexpectedly overnight and I needed to obviously cancel a consult for that next morning that was scheduled for 11 a.m. I phoned the girl at 8 a.m. to explain to her that my Dad had died the night before and her response was not "I'm sorry" like any person with a heart would have responded with, but she said "so I can't come for my consult?" icon_eek.gif
Emotions got the best of me and I told her that I didn't think I'd be able to work with her on her cake at all. Looking back, I'm not sorry that I sent her on her way.

The great thing about being self-employed is we CAN choose who we do and don't want to work with, and it's very liberating to tell someone to "Go screw!" icon_lol.gif

grama_j Posted 2 Feb 2009 , 1:16pm

Are you SURE that she was being b@tchy (moderator edited) ? I know YOU were upset, so did you hear her correctly ? Whenever my husband and I are "ouchy" with each other, we say " He said, she heard"..... so many times we are in our own misery, and don't hear things quite right...... If you are SURE, then I wouldn't do her cake at all...... she isn't going to" improve with age"....

MaxTRexmom Posted 2 Feb 2009 , 1:23pm

I'm sorry your son is sick! I hope he's feeling better soon.

If this bride is already a jerk imagine how she will act when she is stressed out on her wedding day! thumbsdown.gif I think if I were you I would suddenly discover that I had overbooked the weekend of her wedding and send her somewhere else...

costumeczar Posted 2 Feb 2009 , 2:21pm

grama_j...I see your point, but in this case the girl said the thing about her cake not being as important as the baker's son, so I don't see any way that isn't b@tchy (moderator edited)! Some things aren't open to interpertation (but your willingness to try to give her the benefit of the doubt is admirable. I'd have hung up on her.)

grama_j Posted 2 Feb 2009 , 2:28pm

Costumeczar...... the quote from the bride was "'well I guess your son in more important than my wedding cake''
That is why I questioned it..... I guess it would depend on HOW she said it..

costumeczar Posted 2 Feb 2009 , 2:33pm

Ah, I see your point. You're right, it would mean a different thing if she said it with or without a "tone"

indydebi Posted 2 Feb 2009 , 2:37pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by dkelly27

I phoned the girl at 8 a.m. to explain to her that my Dad had died the night before and her response was not "I'm sorry" like any person with a heart would have responded with, but she said "so I can't come for my consult?" icon_eek.gif



Happened to a friend of ours. He's a politician so he gets calls from the public all the time. He had just gotten the call that his dad was dying and was heading out the door. The phone rang. Thinking it was about his dad, he answered. A constituent wanting a political favor. Friend explained he was on his way to the hospital because his dad was dying. Constituent said, "You mean you can't take 5 minutes to talk to me!" Friend said, "My FATHER is DYING! No I CAN'T take ONE minute to talk to you!" and hung up on him.

People are just self-centered jerks. And unfortunately, not all of them are brides.

threematbros Posted 2 Feb 2009 , 2:46pm

Wow - amazing how self involved people can be. I only bake as a hobby, and the more stories I hear like this I'm glad that's all I do. Good luck and I hope your son is better soon.

-K8memphis Posted 2 Feb 2009 , 2:52pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by grama_j

Costumeczar...... the quote from the bride was "'well I guess your son in more important than my wedding cake''
That is why I questioned it..... I guess it would depend on HOW she said it..




That ran through my mind--some people digest things out loud. It could be that she was lining up the ducks.

I mean I tell people specifically 'ABC only' all day long.
They go, "Oh so what about D?".
What part of I said 'ABC' did yah not get.
No they gotta be specificially told "NO D no E no F no G no H no I, yada yada yada. Even though you clearly said "ABC only" in the first place.

No cyrillic alphabet, no Japanese alphabet, no Chinese characters, no hieroglyphics. Could we just not stick with 'ABC only' and be done with it.

Thanks I feel better now. (dumb dang people)

icon_biggrin.gif

-K8memphis Posted 2 Feb 2009 , 2:54pm

But I have to as patient with the next person as I was with the previous person and go through all the 'what about's' with them. <grimace> icon_lol.gif

We now have a recorded message that loops--you never get to the part where you leave a message. Yah gotta love technology. icon_biggrin.gif

confectionaryperfection Posted 2 Feb 2009 , 2:58pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by pnnllj

I had to call and cancel a 2nd consultation tomorrow because my son has come down with a kidney infection and I have to get him to the doctor in the morning. She was very put out and said 'well I guess your son in more important than my wedding cake'. He certainly is to me!!! I apologized several times and set up another appointment for 4pm when dad gets off work. Her wedding's not till September for Pete's sake. I was so upset I wanted to tell her she could get her cake at Walmart for all I care...but I bit my tongue and apologized again. I would like to know how anyone else would handle these types of situations. Thanks for listening, I needed to get that off my chest.





well i first have to say if those are her exact words f**k her!! however if you remove the words " i guess" then she may have just been agreeing with you; ie: well your son in more important than my wedding cake'. be careful not to lose the order because you heard wrong.
hope your son is better, i have been thru those kidney infections god they hurt!!

-K8memphis Posted 2 Feb 2009 , 2:59pm

Oh yeah, my other thought is, is this the second cancelation or the second consult?

-K8memphis Posted 2 Feb 2009 , 3:03pm

Which let me hasten to say no question that your boy comes first but it just adds to the possible reason she vocalized the re-arrangement of her wedding cake buying day.

And I hope your boy is better real soon.

And Liapsim, o m g --hope your babies do grow out of those conditions.

(((hugs all around)))

Lorendabug Posted 2 Feb 2009 , 3:22pm

I hope your son is going to be alright.

Sometimes people just don't think before they speak and other times people are just rude. Lately there is a lot of that going around. I try not to react to such bad attitudes, but there are times that it is impossible for me to not say something. Family will always come first and if someone can or will not understand that then maybe they should not be around me.

I think a simple response like Atonia suggested would do. What will this person be like when it comes to her wedding day. Has this bride been like this in past interactions maybe she has something going on in her world that is making her act in a way that is not normal for her? Still there is no excuse for her actions that your son is not important. Family is everything!

I am curious to how the later appointment turned out.

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