Help Me Respond To This Email... It Involves My Child!!!

Business By SugarBakerz Updated 15 Dec 2008 , 3:44pm by SugarBakerz

SugarBakerz Posted 2 Dec 2008 , 6:30pm
post #1 of 64

I got this email today after I sent the mom "photo" ideas for a cake for her little girl. Mind you I have done tons of work for her in the past and she has been very pleased and grateful for the amount I charged.

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I really like the diva girl cake. I was thinking?!? Al%^$ (her childs name) really needs no toys or presents what about making the cake as her gift. I know that tier cakes is probably more expensive for you to make so if you what to do this just make a cake and surprise us both. Just let me know what you think!




How am I supposed to respond... why should my 5 year old be the only one not bringing a gift, and the money it would take to make a cake like she is wanting wouldn't be what I would spend anyway.... any suggestions! They have to be polite because she is from a big well to do family in my area and could really hurt my name if she wanted too.

63 replies
-K8memphis Posted 2 Dec 2008 , 6:34pm
post #2 of 64

First of all--remove all your fear about her being big and powerful and you not. You are as powerful as she is.

Just say that that's a sweet idea but you keep business separate from pleasure.

__Jamie__ Posted 2 Dec 2008 , 6:44pm
post #3 of 64
Quote:
Originally Posted by k8memphis

Just say that that's a sweet idea but you keep business separate from pleasure.




Perfectly said. No need to ponder it further.

FullHouse Posted 2 Dec 2008 , 6:46pm
post #4 of 64

That is such a tacky suggestion, even if she cldn't afford it, for a birthday, you order what you are willing to spend. If the decorator wants to go above and beyond, that is up to them to offer. I agree that you should just let her know that you keep your business finances separate, she is more than welcome to order that cake at $xxx or you can discuss something else that would better meet her budget; and that your daughter would feel left out not to have an actual gift to bring.

FeGe_Cakes Posted 2 Dec 2008 , 6:47pm
post #5 of 64

Or tell her your daugher has already picked a gift and want to present it to the girl. (hopefully the statement is true).

Just simple state "I don't give cakes a gifts", "it makes for ackward situations with other clients".

Misdawn Posted 2 Dec 2008 , 6:49pm
post #6 of 64

I agree. Tell her it was sweet of her to offer, but you keep business separate. And add to it that you wouldn't want your child to feel bad being the only one without a gift to give.

Galler Posted 2 Dec 2008 , 6:50pm
post #7 of 64

I totally agree with k8memphis business IS separate from pleasure. But...and here is the but..if she is a good client maybe it is business for you to do this one? Personally I think she has a lot of nerve! I would be one thing if you had suggested it!

Rosie2 Posted 2 Dec 2008 , 6:51pm
post #8 of 64
Quote:
Originally Posted by k8memphis

Just say that that's a sweet idea but you keep business separate from pleasure




That is the best response ever!!

And BTW I agree, you're as powerful as she is!!

Karema Posted 3 Dec 2008 , 2:56am
post #9 of 64

I'm sorry but I wouldnt even do a cake if she paid me. That is rude and she shouldnt have put u in the situation. Tell her that you are actually booked that day and you are not able to make the cake and your daughter brought a gift for her already.

cakebaby59 Posted 3 Dec 2008 , 3:07am
post #10 of 64

Don't some people just beat all!!! I think these replies are right on the money and any one you choose should defuse the situation. Boy...some people!!! LOL...good luck...Linda

indydebi Posted 3 Dec 2008 , 3:08am
post #11 of 64
Quote:
Originally Posted by SugarBakerz

...because she is from a big well to do family in my area ....



Proper etiquette and good manners dont' cost a dime. She's no "better" than some skid row bum with a Marboro hanging out his mouth as he asks you for money when you walk past him.

JaLa90016 Posted 3 Dec 2008 , 3:21am
post #12 of 64

She just wants a FREE cake...Everyone is right, tell her that your daughter would feel awful if she didn't have a gift to bring to the party.

Good luck...

calynmom Posted 3 Dec 2008 , 3:27am
post #13 of 64

In keeping with the keeping business from pleasure theme, I would just tell her that you already have a cake booked that weekend and wouldn't have time to do it.

No feelings get hurt.

CakeMakar Posted 3 Dec 2008 , 3:29am
post #14 of 64
Quote:
Originally Posted by FeGe_Cakes

Or tell her your daugher has already picked a gift and want to present it to the girl. (hopefully the statement is true).

Just simple state "I don't give cakes a gifts", "it makes for ackward situations with other clients".




I agree with FeGe

CarolAnn Posted 3 Dec 2008 , 3:32am
post #15 of 64

Guess the lady thinks she is very well off and powerful in the community. Maybe you ought to quote her your price for the cake she wants and also let her know that since her child really doesn't need and toys or gifts this year your child won't be bringing one. How nice of her to let you off the hook about the gift!! Good for her!!

Yep, some people have steel ones. Don't you sometimes just wish you could nudge them with your foot to hear them gong!! LOL Sorry.....been a long week already and I reeely need to get to bed.

Jopalis Posted 3 Dec 2008 , 3:42am
post #16 of 64

I have a little girl too. I would say that my daughter already picked out a gift and would be hurt not to bring it. Tell her your daughter likes this being about her and her daughter and you don't want to steal her thunder. You could also say that you have some other orders right now and would not have time to do it anyway. Don't be bullied into it or let fear rule you.... Tell her it's also just easier to keep your business separate... Of course you need to not do a cake even if she offers to pay... It's a busy time.

Seriously...for your sake and other bakers ...don't do it. It would be different if you were the one that offered...

eriksmom Posted 3 Dec 2008 , 3:45am
post #17 of 64

Don't think she's so powerful that she can influence everyone in town, including her family. It may surprise you that perhaps several of her family members would agree with you. They, obviously, aren't well to do because they gave stuff away all their lives!
Yes, it is true, too, that business and pleasure don't mix. She of all people should understand that if her family is so prevalent in your area.
Good luck!

GI Posted 3 Dec 2008 , 4:00am
post #18 of 64

Sheesh, Miss Manners would really have a hey-day with this one! Especially in the South! icon_eek.gif This lady has no manners.

Just tell her what the others said, "I'm sorry, I keep my business separate from my child's personal life with his/her friends."

Make sure you let that southern drawl out right kind!

Dripping like honey butter on a warm biscuit

icon_biggrin.gif

lifonahil Posted 3 Dec 2008 , 5:00am
post #19 of 64
Quote:
Originally Posted by JaLa90016

She just wants a FREE cake...Everyone is right, tell her that your daughter would feel awful if she didn't have a gift to bring to the party.

Good luck...




I totally agree.

xstitcher Posted 3 Dec 2008 , 6:21am
post #20 of 64

The nerve of some folks!!!!

I think anyone of the responses mentioned would be great to use.

Keep us posted...

Denise Posted 3 Dec 2008 , 6:33am
post #21 of 64

she must have married into the family....she is a clod with absolutely no manners or social graces.

I would so sweetly decline like others have said about not mixing business with pleasure and yada yada yada.

I'll give the old girl this - she has huge cajones and the hide of a rhino. I would steer clear of her. UGH I wouldn't want my child to pick up bad manners from her!

miny Posted 3 Dec 2008 , 6:41am
post #22 of 64

Some people are shameless!, icon_eek.gif I can't believe she had the nerve to ask. Now I don't do this as a bussiness but the times I've offered a cake as a gift is because I WANT TO, not because they forced me, don't let that bully get to you, icon_mad.gif show her you have manners and politely say no. I think the best thing is as they say, "I'm already booked for that day". thumbsdown.gif

BlondiezBakery Posted 3 Dec 2008 , 7:01am
post #23 of 64

I agree with all of the previous responses. I really like the comment about 'you have already purchased her gift' on top of the business/pleasure comment. That is so frustrating that she would ask you for that.....

Not to mention I remember when I was five, and I am pretty sure that I would have liked a toy over a cake anyday. icon_smile.gif It's not like she is 13...and that excuse could actually work.

candynumber1 Posted 3 Dec 2008 , 7:03am
post #24 of 64
Quote:
Originally Posted by CakeMakar

Quote:
Originally Posted by FeGe_Cakes

Or tell her your daugher has already picked a gift and want to present it to the girl. (hopefully the statement is true).

Just simple state "I don't give cakes a gifts", "it makes for ackward situations with other clients".



I agree with FeGe



Sounds like a winner! Don't worry, you are as powerful as she is. You have something that she doesn't, the ability to make edible creations that others want.

superstar Posted 4 Dec 2008 , 12:02am
post #25 of 64

I also think you should politely say that your business & your family life are not interchangeable & your daughter would be very upset not to take a gift to the party. It was bad manners on her part to suggest such a thing.

DebBTX Posted 4 Dec 2008 , 1:08am
post #26 of 64

Hi Lori,
I thought I would check in on you to see if you have decided what to do.

-Debbie B.

Jopalis Posted 4 Dec 2008 , 1:43am
post #27 of 64

OK Lori.... you have gotten us all riled up and now we want to know. LOL!

summernoelle Posted 4 Dec 2008 , 2:03am
post #28 of 64

I don 't think she is meaning to be snotty or difficult. I would hate to be in that situation! I would NOT do the cake as the gift, either. Not unless it was for a BEST friend or a CLOSE family member (not a customer/acqaintance). The only person I have done that for is my cousin, who I'm pretty close to.
Leave money out of it, just say what everyone else says-you keep business and personal seperate.
Good luck!!!!!

adunfag Posted 4 Dec 2008 , 2:08am
post #29 of 64

The nerve! I like the idea of telling her that your daughter already picked out a gift ...good luck!

dailey Posted 4 Dec 2008 , 2:20am
post #30 of 64
Quote:
Originally Posted by summernoelle

I don 't think she is meaning to be snotty or difficult. I would hate to be in that situation! I would NOT do the cake as the gift, either. Not unless it was for a BEST friend or a CLOSE family member (not a customer/acqaintance). The only person I have done that for is my cousin, who I'm pretty close to.
Leave money out of it, just say what everyone else says-you keep business and personal seperate.
Good luck!!!!!




i agree, it doesn't sound like she was trying to be rude. perhaps she thought this was actually doing you a favor?? . most people don't realize how much time/effort it takes to do cakes. you would not believe how many people think i make their cakes the night before delivering, lol!

politely decline...

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