I need some advice from all of you helpful people here. My husband and I have been trying for 2 years to have a baby, and now I'm 12 weeks pregnant and everything is going really well. But I'm due in October and I had already booked a wedding cake for that month before I was pregnant.
So now I'm not sure what to do or what to tell the customer. It is actually a guy I went to school with and he contacted me over myspace just to tell me to save that date. So I don't even know what kind of cake they want or how big. I just feel really bad and would love to do it. The wedding is Oct. 10th and I'm due Oct. 23rd. I just could really use some help. I'm not sure if I should just tell him what happened and that I can't do it. Or if any of you had any other options I could give them. Thanks so much for taking the time to read this. Have a great day-Alison
First of all - congratulations! You and your DH must be so excited.
Wow - that is a tough one but my first thought before I even read your post was definitely to cancel somehow. Wedding cakes are stressful and your main concern should be the health of you and your baby. That's just a personal view - I'm sure many people are churning out beautiful cakes right up to their due date. I found it hard to be on my feet and bent over decorating that long for even simple 8" round cakes when I was late in my pregnancy.
I would actually also suggest canceling the wedding cake, especially since you haven't made it to the planning stages or taken a deposit on it. Priorities, right?
What you could do is refer the customer to one or two other cakers you know to help them out.
It would be better to let him know now that you can't do it than to get to October and find it's impossible for you.
Best wishes with the new baby - Libras rock!
that is a tough one. you never know if the baby will come early or you will have complications either. do you have any friends that do cakes that could take over if necessary? not sure what to tell you. i would probably cancel
It will be tough, during my last pregnancy I had bad back pain, but was still able to do cakes. It's a matter of pacing yourself... but keep in mind I don't do weddings What is your gut instinct?
Oh, and congrats!!
Don't feel bad about cancelling ... you aren't doing it just for yourself and your baby, but the couple as well. You want to be sure they have what they want and you never know what could happen in a pregnancy. Due dates aren't always exact and health issues are never sure things. With so much up in the air, they'd probably feel better about knowing they'll be getting a good cake rather than hoping they get one at all. Best of luck to you during your pregnancy! Remembre to take your vitamins and drink a little oj for folic acid every day.
I would contact him and just let him know you are expecting. Maybe another CCer can do it for him?? At least you may be able to help him find someone else that can do it for him.
I was due for my youngest on Oct. 8th but we scheduled her c-section for Sept. 25th...I made a cake and was in a wedding just 11 days before her arrival..but with your first baby..you just do not know when the little one will arrive...I would play it safe for you and baby...
I think I'd cancel it too. You are leaving them with plenty of time to find another decorator. You are not going to want to be decorating a cake.
Congratulations!! I have been trying for alomst the same amount of time and I know how hard it gets. Right now we are in the throws of IVF and it sucks, but the reward is well worth it. Here's to a happy and healthy 9 months.. well 7 months.. .
congrats on your pregnancy. find out from your friend how extravegant of a cake they want and if its simple and your pregnancy goes well and you feel up to making the cake why not. if they want something difficult and extremely time consuming cancel and dont feel bad about it and im sure they will understand if you do cancel.
Congratulations to you and your hubby! That's pretty exciting news!!
My suggestion would be to contact your old friend and tell him simply the truth. It would be a mistake to take something on when you don't know if you'll be able to actually do it when the time comes. And you really ought to give them as much time as possible to find someone else to make their wedding cake. I understand if you hate to pass on this job but you have no way of knowing that you'll be able to handle the job come October.
Make your health and your baby your first priority and you won't be sorry. The other is just money and money isn't worth it.
Congratulations! Enjoy the special time that pregnancy is.
I would say definitively refer to someone else. It is impossible to organise anything right before a baby is supposed to be born. Babies have their own schedule and decide when they want to be born, which often has relation to your due date. Both mine were born ahead of schedule while most of my friends' children were born way after due date. So not really fair for your client to have to make alternative arrangements with days to go to his wedding, in case you need to cancel. I am sure the client will be more than understanding and thrilled for you!
Oh my gosh!!! Congrats! How weird- I'm in the same boat as you- 12 weeks pregnant and due October 31st!!! This is my second, and so I already have a pretty good idea of how my body responds- believe me- throws you for a loop at the end! I personally, have already blocked out Oct 15-Dec 1st as NO ORDERS!! I'm anticipating laying around and resting- and you'll need time afterward to just BE with the new baby! If I were you I would cancel- like everyone else said- he's got plenty of time- and it's for a good reason- you're not just blowing him off!
It's up to you. However, I will add, the last 4 weeks of pregnancy can be very physically demanding, busy and stressful with baby showers, decorating baby rooms, doctor appointments once per week and braxton hicks contractions to name a few. In addition, anytime after 36 weeks of pregnancy is fair game for the baby coming and trust me you are going to need every waking moment to get your mind prepared while enjoying the excitement of anticipation.
Just things to keep in mind.
I guess Iâd be the one here whoâd give you the thumbs up to go ahead â If YOU are feeling up for it!...
... Iâm currently 16 weeks pregnant with our #3, our boys are 2- and 4-years old. As demanding as those 9 months can be, you know your body best â are you pretty active, would you rather spend time outdoors or in front of the computer, how does your body respond to stress in general, were you able to pull all-nighters (studying, baking, partying, whatever) and live the next day before getting pregnant? ... I was mountain biking until I was 5 months pregnant with our first one, then my doc said to calm it down a notch and if I really wanted to, to at least stick to level groundsâ¦ I took maternity leave 24 days before my due date and I got completely stir-crazyâ¦ It was December, so that meant hours upon hours everyday mall-trottingâ¦ Then, I baked up a stormâ¦ Made 60 (!) large cookie gift boxes and mugs, for everyone I could think of (donât ask me how many batches that wasâ¦) as I simply had to find myself something to do (the nursery was already ready, baby shower had taken place tooâ¦)! The night before I gave birth, I set out to reupholster an armchair that had been an eyesore for me for monthsâ¦
Soooâ¦ In retrospect, a wedding cake 2 weeks before MY due date with #1? Sure!
(But with #3 â absolutely no way, #1 and #2 take up all that mountain biking / baking energy!)
On the other hand, there is plenty of time, and Iâm sure your customer will understand if you explain the new family developments and will be excited for you, rather than upset for canceling on himâ¦
Congratulations to you and all the best!!!
I was in the same situation. My husband and I set up each of our friends and after dating for a while they decided to get married...on my due date. Then asked me to do the wedding cake (and the shower and do everyhting else but thats another story for another time). I told her I would love to do the cake, but what happens if I have the baby that day and can;t make it to set it up, or have the baby early or I'm not up for it.
The best thing to do is cancel it. Its your first baby and you don;t know how you will feel. You don;t want to get to the last minute and realize you can;t do it. That would be so sad for you and the bride.
(I had my baby 5 days before the wedding by C-section, left the hospital, got dressed and went to the wedding!!!)
Congratulations to you and your hubby!!
I'd definitely cancel...even if you are just sitting around waiting for the baby to arrive, at least you'll be doing it without any stress! Enjoy your free time now, make the most of it, and get all the rest you can!
Sharing that boat....
I'm just shy of 18 weeks myself. As soon as I found out I was PG, anyone who contacted me to book a wedding cake for fall 2008 got a special, this-circumstance-only complete refund clause in their contract in case I had to cancel for pregnancy related issues. I closed all other orders for Sept and Oct. That gave me a way to say NO without actually saying it. No one really wants to take the chance of me cancelling!
This will probably be my only child and I want to enjoy the experience and give myself a chance to fully recover!
I wouldn't feel bad about cancelling at all. I can't image anyone being mad. It's not like you just don't feel like doing it, you know?!
Congrats! Happy and Healthy 9 months to you!
Thank you all so so much for taking the time to respond to my little dilemma. Sometimes I just need to hear opinions from other cake decorators who understand. I just felt a little bad about canceling, not because of the money, but because I really like the groom and it would have been nice to be a part of his wedding. That being said, you guys are all right in saying I should just cancel. I just don't need the added stress. And this will be my second baby actually, so I already will have a 4 year old at home. Plus, your right about not knowing what might happen by then. I feel great now, but that could all change. I guess I just needed to hear you all tell me it would be best to cancel. So thank you so much. You've really helped me out a lot. YOU ARE ALL LIFE SAVERS!!
And thank you for all for the support and the excitement of my pregnancy. I really appreciate it. You are all such great people!!
jkalman-Thanks so much for your response. I really feel for you and your husband. I know how hard and stressful it can be. I got pregnant with my son really easy, but we've been through a lot trying for another. I was seeing a fertility specialist for a year, and had a miscarriage and then nothing for several months. I was at the point of giving up hope and then it happened. So please don't lose hope. There are so many things they can do these days, and though the road can be so long and stressful, it will end soon and you'll have a darling baby before you know it. If you ever are having a bad day and need to vent, just pm me. I would be happy to listen. I'll keep you in my prayers!!
cakesonoccassion- Thanks so much for your response. And congratulations to you too! How neat! Have you been feeling well? This is my second as well, though I'm already feeling completely different than the last time. Since I had to have fertility help this time and it has taken so long, I feel like this is my first! How old is your little one ? I think I'm going to block off Oct.-Dec. or Jan as well. You are really smart to do that, so thanks for the giving me that idea. Keep me posted on how you are doing. Thanks again.
Congrats to all of you who are preggers!
If it were me, I would at least leave part of the desicion up to your customer. He may not want the stress of wondering if you will go into labor or something.
But if you decide to go for it, maybe you could make up a nice dummy cake ahead of time, JUST IN CASE! At least then they would have a something to display.