Feel Weird But Wanted To Share....

Decorating By lastingmoments Updated 25 Oct 2005 , 8:46pm by PinkPanther

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lastingmoments Posted 21 Oct 2005 , 6:14am
post #1 of 46

icon_cry.gif I was in remission for 12 months until two months ago my blood work came back showing something that my Dr didnt like so I been ungoing testing to see If my cancer was back.

he called today and told me that yes it was back, I already suspected it because Of the info surrounding my recent lab work. but its still hard to here Ive been on this no Iodine diet for ever and off my meds for weeks and it sucks......thats means no Iodized salt, eggs, bread, nothing with artificial flovoring, no canned or frozen veggies. Everything fresh and natural.......not even TAp water was allowed it had to be distilled. Hes allowing me to eat regular food again for a couple of weeks...but Will have to go through a series of test to determine if I need additional surgery ( already had two to remove the cancer last time) and then my non-invasive chemo. again. I have a 3 yr old daughter 4 in two weeks....and when ever I goes throu this I have to be hospitalized for days....and cant hold her or cook for her or risk the radiation be passed to her.......

I feel weird talking about this but have been holding it in and lashed out at my husband and realized that I needed to talk to someone We go around here acting like nothing is wrong.....Heck I been almost ALL of my Drs appt alone.... Ive been so sluggish and tired from lack of my meds and diet....still am left to do all the house work....

Im not throwing a pity party but just puting my thoughts into words has helped ......I KNOW I WILL NOT DIE!! because I have faith that i can overcome anything, and since I was diagnosed in stage one theres alot that they have been doing to treat me.....so Im lucky and greatful....
I was diagnosed early.......May I just add since Ive been on this stupid diet I ve had to make 7 cakes...that was hell in itself because I SOOOOOOOO wanted to take the corner off and eat it ever time!!

Well I know there was a couple of other CC memebers that were going going through tuff times ...as well and seemed that sharing made it easier so I figured I would give it a try......

If anyone going through something similar wants to talk......pm me Ill be happy to listen.... not everone situtaion is the same but I know we can relate.
TIA - sorry so long
Nancy

45 replies
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cindy6250 Posted 21 Oct 2005 , 6:31am
post #2 of 46

Keep your chin up. You must have an iron constitution to have stayed out of that cake....It is very tempting to me when I'm making one too.

I have not been thru what you are going thru, but I lost my father to cancer a few years ago and my best friend had breast cancer last year. I think it is one of the scariest words in our language and it just makes people freeze.

I don't know what your relationship is with your husband, but I think it would help if you felt comfortable sharing your feelings with him. You need his support and most likely he is feeling insecure out of fear, but communication is the best thing...Once everything is out in the open you can go from there....

I wish you all best wishes for a speedy recovery.

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tanyascakes Posted 21 Oct 2005 , 6:31am
post #3 of 46

Hi, Nancy. I am not going through anything right now. But I want you to know that I hear you. Sometimes we just have to let everything out in order to heal ourselves emotionally. This site helps with that. We talk to each other about everything and that's a good thing. I am so sorry to hear that the cancer is back. But I know that prayer and faith can move mountains! It sounds like things are pretty tough for you now. But we are always here to listen and support. Never feel like you are burdening anyone with what you have to say. I will listen, no matter what. Each moment of our lives is filled with opportunity to help someone else. Maybe this moment for me is to help you cope with what is happening. I have never had cancer, but my sister has. And I had an uncle die from it 2 years ago. So I can relate to some of what you are going through. I am just glad that you felt comfy enough to put it out there in the universe for us to hear. I will pray for you and your family. And anytime you want to chat, just feel free to PM me or something. You are such a great person, from what I see on the site. And anything I can do to help, I will try to do. Please take care of yourself. And keep us informed. God bless you, Nancy.

Tanya

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ShelbysYummys Posted 21 Oct 2005 , 7:09am
post #4 of 46

Nancy,
My heart goes out to you. I am not in your situation. I have a close freind who is and it is devistating.
I obviously don;t know your husband but I am sure he is hurting. He is probably sad inside and can only show his anger.
Be strong. Be strong for your kids. You will get through this again.
I know it's hard to be away from your kids. Especially little one's.
I understand this.
I have to say that I admire you for expressing your feelings. It takes a lot to do that. Take care of yourself. Right now YOU come first.
Take each day one at a time. Don't worry about the house. If someone offer's to help you TAKE IT!! Whether it's dinner, cleaning or so you can take a rest.
You will be in my prayers!
Michelle

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blessBeckysbaking Posted 21 Oct 2005 , 7:21am
post #5 of 46

May God ever so bless you and when your weak may your family be strong I know God is able

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ShelbysYummys Posted 21 Oct 2005 , 7:44am
post #6 of 46

that was beautiful blessBeckysbaking !!!!!

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jenie Posted 21 Oct 2005 , 8:27am
post #7 of 46

Hi Nancy,

Your CC family is always here to listen icon_smile.gif I will keep you in my prayers. Be strong, not only for yourself but also for your family. God is Good and I know you will be fine. Take care of yourself and God bless you and your family!

Jen

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Egotrip77 Posted 21 Oct 2005 , 9:35am
post #8 of 46

First of all I wanted to thank everyone for their posts and for their prayers. It is very hard having my DW going through this and me working in a diffrent city, but having friends she can talk to dose help. Thank you again for all your support

John

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tcrema Posted 21 Oct 2005 , 9:57am
post #9 of 46

Hi Nancy and John,
Nancy, I'm so sorry for what you are going through and I will be keeping you in my prayers. I know that it has to be so hard on you being sluggish and not having energy...expecially with an almost 4 year old. I pray that you will regain your strength and that you Beat this!!!! Keep your chin up, relax as much as possible, and always know that we are here for you if you need or want to talk.
John, I know that you are worried about your wife and scared too I'm sure. All I can say is just be there as much as possible. It's hard when you work in a different city and you can't always be there. I know that when my DH is concerned about me with my health or anytime I've had to be hospitalized he kind of retreats and I feel like he isn't there for me. But I also know that is his way of showing his fear. May God bless you both and I'll be praying for you. If either of you need to talk Pm me and I'll be there to listen

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vitade Posted 21 Oct 2005 , 10:16am
post #10 of 46

Nancy, don't ever apoligize for needed to lean on a friend. Talking about things help you heal emotionally. You need to be strong emotionally to help you get through this. Though we can't be there to give you a hand or a hug, know that we can be there to listen and pray for you. AND WE WILL. Be strong, you can do this!

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cakebybek Posted 21 Oct 2005 , 10:18am
post #11 of 46

Nancy, God bless you and your family. I can say I have never had cancer but I have a mom with cancer who I take care of and a father with cancer who I also help take of.

So keep your chin up pray with your family and let me say god will answer you. God is good and he will help you through this!!!

All the love in the world to you and your family.

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SweetCreations Posted 21 Oct 2005 , 12:11pm
post #12 of 46

Hey Nancy,
Please know that your in our Hearts and Prayers and we also have John and your daughter in mind that GOD Bless and Keep them Strong for you. But its got to be a very hard thing to Be the Strongest person all of the time for fear and anger play a major roll in this as well. & You have Every Right to have a Pitty Party Let it out it will probally help . If you need to Scream Pm me I will take it. I just know your going to beat this and Come through this with John and your daughter at your side. You know your Cake Central Family will always be here for all of you.

~Sweet~=0)

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briansbaker Posted 21 Oct 2005 , 12:26pm
post #13 of 46

Reading your post has really hit hard.. I can't imagine going what your going through... I don't know you, but it seems to me that you are a very strong, strong, willing and beautiful woman.. No one can take that from you.. God hears your prayers and mine too.. I hope the best for you and your family.. Keep us in touch, I wished I was there to give you a big hug..
{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}

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Mac Posted 21 Oct 2005 , 12:41pm
post #14 of 46

Nancy--
My prayers go out to you and your family. I will put you on our prayer list at church if that is OK? I believe in the power of prayer and God heals ALL things.

Never feel that you are burdening any of us when you need to talk. We are here for each other (caking or otherwise) or we wouldn't come to this forum.

Men always have trouble showing their feelings. It is ingrain in them from birth, I think, to suck it up and be men!!! My DH's dad has been diagnosed with CBGD (Parkinson's Plus) and watching him deteriorate so fast is a strain on MIL (She is truly a wonderful lady). I have yet to see my DH really express what he is feeling.

Remember to keep us updated as you can and keep your faith strong. May God bless you with his love, strength and most of all, peace--Pam

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thecakemaker Posted 21 Oct 2005 , 12:41pm
post #15 of 46

Please know that we are here and that you will always have a lot of people that care for you and support you and are willing to lend and ear or a shoulder. I can't imagine what you feel or what you are going through but I do know that I have been in a position that I needed someone to talk to and it didn't seem like anyone was there. You are in our thoughts and prayers.

Debbie

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alracntna Posted 21 Oct 2005 , 12:43pm
post #16 of 46

God only gives us what we can handle and then from there he takes over. put it in his hands and tell him you will not accept this and so you want him to have it. stay close to your family and dont give in and say "my cancer" you tell that doctor you dont have cancer and you believe it with your heart and your faith. believe in him and all things are possible.

Lord, please watch and protect our friend and take her bourdon. make her whole again. get her and her family through this time when they are scared and not sure what to do. help her to fight this thing. Love her and keep her close to you. Lord in your name we pray in unison, Amen

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denise2434 Posted 21 Oct 2005 , 12:44pm
post #17 of 46

Dearest Nancy, You and family are in my thoughts and prayers. I know you will beat this!! Lean on us for support.....there is always someone here for you day or night.


Hugs....~Denise

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Mac Posted 21 Oct 2005 , 12:51pm
post #18 of 46

Denise--
Your avatar made me smile!!!

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TickledPink Posted 21 Oct 2005 , 12:55pm
post #19 of 46

You and your family are in my prayers.

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abbey Posted 21 Oct 2005 , 1:36pm
post #20 of 46

Nancy,
I am praying for your family that God will meet not only your physical needs but your emotional ones as well. Sometimes it is very difficult to reach out to people around you but it is also important to share what is inside you to help keep you emotionally well. You will always have friends here who will pray for you and listen when you need an ear. God Bless You!!

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toddsgirl Posted 21 Oct 2005 , 1:45pm
post #21 of 46

I can not begin to imagine what you are going through. I pray that God will be strong for you when you can't be. He is sufficient to meet all our needs if we just ask. Are you in a good church? I just know that there are people there who would love to help you with meals, rides, babysitting. Also, our church has cancer support groups where people can really relate to what you are going through. I will be praying for you.

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potatocakes Posted 21 Oct 2005 , 2:02pm
post #22 of 46

I just want to let you know that I'm also thinking of you and keeping you in my prayers. Please cry/vent/laugh/yell or whatever you need to do anytime here. That's what we're all here for.

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BritBB Posted 21 Oct 2005 , 3:10pm
post #23 of 46

Nancy,
Please know that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. With such a positive attitude, you're going to pull through this.
God bless.
Barbara

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SquirrellyCakes Posted 21 Oct 2005 , 9:13pm
post #24 of 46

Hi Nancy,
I can't even pretend to know what this must be like, but it is really common, when folks are worried about something, to lash out at those closest to us over something totally unrelated. Common and understandable. Please feel free to talk about this with all of us here. You have every right to feel as you do kiddo! We are hear for the good times and the bad.
I just saw your post, somehow I missed it. I wish you well and will have you in my prayers and thoughts as will all of the other folks here, I am sure.
You have beat this before and you will beat it again. Don't sweat the small stuff, let things around you go as you feel fit. You are the most important thing right now, the housework will still be there waiting.
Hugs and God Bless,
Squirrelly Cakes

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lastingmoments Posted 21 Oct 2005 , 9:36pm
post #25 of 46

Thanks to everyone for there kind words and inspiration. I am pretty strong, Im the oldest of 5 children Im 26 we range inbetween my youngest sister is only 6 years old ...( I Know she could be mine) I am in a leadership postion here and am often the glue, so to speak. I think I set myself up for this....this is how we always handled it last time it took well over a year to beat it and it was always business as usual. If someone said oh my Im sorry to hear it my response would be "It ok, Dont be sorry, Im gonna be okay" Noone would ever look at me and could tell I was sick...." I was in the hospital one time after surgery and after throwing up because of all the morphine was like wheres my make up??? My aunt came to visit the day I got out of the hospital and there i was with a large cut in my neck and I was trying to move and dust off my patio furniture.....
So I think thats how everone sees me and I know they dont know what to say....because I dont look like Im sick. My mom says if I start doing stuff for you youll just get spoiled.....!! okay mom thanks I guess for keeping me inline....but the being that Im trying to take in the situation again and prepare myself for the steps I have to ahead I felt it had to come out and if I felt this way then Im sure there are others out there who have trying times as well...And am hoping that this helps.....

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Kiddiekakes Posted 21 Oct 2005 , 9:52pm
post #26 of 46

Hi Nancy,

Boy do I feel silly complaining about my kids sleeping habits!!! icon_redface.gificon_redface.gif You are in my thoughts and prayers and keep up the strength that you have and I'm sure everything will turn out okay!! You can post anytime here when you need to talk!!!

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pastelitos Posted 21 Oct 2005 , 10:04pm
post #27 of 46

lastingmoments
may God bless you and your family.

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Lemondrop Posted 21 Oct 2005 , 10:08pm
post #28 of 46

Nancy,

I'm so, so sorry that you're going through this. My mother had cancer and it's a terrible disease. PLease don't feel that you can't talk about this. Talk to anyone about it. Your DH, Us, friends ....anyone. It sucks, and if you feel like complaining, my goodness, please complain!!

I wish you all the best {{{hugs}}}

Denise

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alimonkey Posted 21 Oct 2005 , 10:15pm
post #29 of 46

You'll be in my prayers, too Nancy! You're lucky to have such a large family for support, but what a bummer to have to do all the housework even when you're ill. I hope you're not still trying to be supermom with a spic-n-span house!

Here's a recipe that I found when I was cooking for a sick friend. It's super easy to make and unbelievably delicious. We couldn't keep them around our house whenever I made them. It may be time to make another batch.

Almond Quicks (or Nut Balls as we called them)
1 c. raisins
1 c. roasted almonds (I've also made it with raw almonds since my friend was on a raw food diet, but it's much better with roasted nuts)
1 t. vanilla
apple juice
coconut or carob powder (opt.)

1. Using a food processor or blender grind raisins, almonds and vanilla together with just enough apple juice to facilitate grinding (I think used about 2-3 teaspoons.)
2. Form mixture into small balls
3. Roll in coconut or carob powder if desired
4. Chill for best results

Anyways - your daughter would probably love to roll them into little balls. We never used coconut or carob powder. We tried dipping them in melted chocolate once but I really like them just the way they are. They're good for you and really satisfy a sweet tooth.

Take care of yourself. icon_smile.gif

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gdixoncakes Posted 21 Oct 2005 , 10:15pm
post #30 of 46

lastingmoments,

Please know our thoughts and best wishes are with you and your family. I know you are strong and can beat it! Keep us posted on your progress and know that we are here for you day and night.

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