Hi everyone!
I'm new to the forum. Anyway I am a vegan baker and my business is going into its 4th year now.
My wholesale clients are still sort of small, but I'm starting to take on more clients and I want to streamline things so that I'm not driving myself crazy or losing money.

So here's a brief rundown.
First I was doing consignment in a local restaurant and things were going GREAT. Then I took on a wholesale client and that was going GREAT, too!
THEN the wholesale client started messing up. They weren't paying me for orders then expecting more products after not paying me for weeks (hi, with no money I can't make more stuff..?) so they ended up dropping me.
I got another wholesale client which was amazing for me. Ten stores in the area doing cupcakes, cookies, and muffins.  They ended up cutting back on their bakery items and that meant cutting me. :( But I never had any production issues with them aside from the occasional messed up cookie.

The first restaurant decided to change to wholesale instead of consignment. They insisted it was going to be better for both of us. It has not been. Consignment was working great for me because I was using them as my "home base", basically. Promoting their restaurant to my customers as a location for my products. Every day or every other day I would stop in, check inventory, make sure the case was full of fresh products, and keep track of what was selling. We were doing between 10-20 dozen cupcakes a week with some other baked goods. Now we are down to one dozen cupcakes, a dozen slices of cake, two dozen brownies and a dozen baklava.
That's not really my complaint.
With them, my concern is more that now that we are doing a wholesale relationship the manager tends to treat me like an employee. I don't like this. He talks to me like I am working for him. I understand that yes, I am baking products that he sells, but I am not under him, he's not my manager.  The other day he approached me and said, "I'd like for you to provide me with a pricing plan" or.. something like that. I can't remember the exact wording. Because he wants to get the same items he's been getting from me but cheaper. I'm more than happy to see if I can offer more products for a cheaper price, but.. the way he asked me rubbed me the wrong way.

The previous store that messed up the payments with me has new management and wanted my items back. So I started selling to them again last month. It's been.... inconsistent.

They don't know how to submit orders on time and give me proper quantities
The manager sent me emails two weeks in a row like this...

"hi for this week I would like some crumb cakes.. some cheesecake slices... and a few baklava"
Like two days before the delivery date!

WHAT??

So I wrote back and asked for clarification and for the orders to be submitted sooner so that I can prepare (I have to purchase the ingredients and take them to the certified kitchen to bake, the process takes a few days).

The next week I get the same thing. A day late.   Yet they were upset with me for being two hours late on the delivery day (I was having problems getting their order, that they didn't clarify with me until less than 24 hours before it was due, finished.............)

I have a new client starting next week with two restaurants. She seemed unsure as to what she should order. It's an Indian restaurant, she has a lot of clients that are vegan or don't eat eggs so she's very excited about being able to offer desserts but it was obvious she wasn't confident about which items she would need. We're starting with a small sample order to see what her customers like and going from there.

ANYWAY.. all of that to preface this question. Do any of you sell wholesale to cafes/restaurants? How much power do you give them?
How much say do you have in how they present your merchandise?
For example, one cafe puts all of my items in their to go case while I feel that some items would look better on display by the register.
One restaurant was getting complaints about my cupcakes being dry. The cupcakes obviously dried out because the store employees were putting them out too early and they were sitting for a long time (I always tell them to put just a few out at a time and keep the rest of them stored so they stay fresh).

Do you consider yourself an employee of your clients? or your clients as your customers?
I don't know how to word that question.

Do you set limitations on what they can demand from you?
Lower prices? For one dozen brownies a week? ....that sounds stupid to me.

I don't want to lose my customers/clients because they find it hard to do business with me... but I need to be profitable or I will fail. This is the make or break year for me. I'm working on educating myself and getting help with eventually opening my own store as I feel that if I have a good location and full access to a kitchen with some employees then we will be able to make things work much smoother, but it's going to take time and money to get there. My wholesale clients are the bulk of my income right now with customers ordering custom cakes and cupcakes after that. So.. I just want to make sure I'm doing this right.

Sorry for the long post, thanks for reading and I appreciate feedback! Thank you!

Let me start by saying I do not sell wholesale, custom cakes only, but I do have a good idea how I would handle these situations.

1.  How much power do you give them?  How much say do you have in how they present your merchandise?  In my opinion, once the product has been purchased, all you can do is recommend the strategy you feel would be most beneficial.  It is their store and their product, so their decision to make.

2.  Do you consider yourself an employee of your clients or your clients as your customers?  Absolutely, they are your clients.  Why on earth would they consider you their employee?!

3.  Do you set limitations on what they can demand from you?  Absolutely!  From your position, you are the boss and completely in charge of your business!  It sounds to me like your wholesale customers are making you crazy.  The long and short of it is, I don't work with anyone, for any reason, who makes me stressed or costs me money!  You are every bit as much a business professional as the clients you are supplying.  It it their job to get the most for their money.  It is your job to do the same thing, so do not let them force you to under sell your products.

none -- tell them what you can do for how much & when -- 

give them an order blank to put their order on -- they can check off how many baklava etc. you can easily control things this way --  for example -- baklava are sold in full or half pans quantities or whatever then at the bottom say something like -- your signature here is your agreement to my delivery and payment terms -- or you could say -- your placing this order is your agreement/understanding to/of my delivery & payment  terms --

say they need to purchase so much at one time -- all that kind of stuff -- but don't make it a book to read -- make it an order blank -- going forward they can sell the goods for whatever price -- you just give them your price --

do all their thinking for them -- tell them what you can do for them --

best to you -- hope it works like crazy

and see business owners are part crazy -- seriously -- they have to be aggressive to survive so you have to keep them in their place which is out of your pie kwim