Is There Clinical Name For Someone Unable To Say "no"??

Lounge By Cali6422 Updated 14 Jul 2016 , 9:09pm by costumeczar

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Cali6422 Posted 14 Jul 2016 , 2:46pm
post #1 of 10

Arrrgh … Apparently I have a tattoo on my forehead that says “SUCKER … Will Not Say No”.


I’m not in business, I only do cakes for friends, gifts, or office charity raffles.  An outlet for creativity and practicing techniques then let friends enjoy the results.


Rewind, back a few weeks.  A close friend asks if I would do a graduation cake.  I was thrilled to do so - Put more hours into it than I care to count, but it turned out well and all were happy.  In the meantime, another friend asks if I would do a cake for her husband 2 weeks later … After a slight hesitation, I say “Sure … I can do that”.  A week after that, she asks if there is any way I can do a cake for her mother’s birthday. Guess what I say ... Yup ...  “Ummm … Okay … I think I can fit it in” (As I mentally calculate how in the world I can actually accomplish that).


I proceed to pre-plan, bake freeze, etc.  I’m right on track … I should only have to stack, fill, frost and pop finished decorations on it tonight.  Easy ... Right ?!!   WRONG!!!  In a conversation this morning, it comes out that it’s not the husband’s cake that is needed tomorrow … but the mother’s cake.  Yup, switched dates in my addled mind.  ARRRGH …  I have NOTHING done for the mother cake … nothing baked … no decorations NOTHING!  Can't even start on this until after 5:00 this evening.

I believe I’m hyperventilating  - And figuring out how I will work my full time job tomorrow since I’ll probably have no sleep tonight).  Are there any others out there who are genetically unable to say “No”??

9 replies
-K8memphis Cake Central Cake Decorator Profile
-K8memphis Posted 14 Jul 2016 , 2:59pm
post #2 of 10

yes but like you are still in in process -- eventually we burnt out real crispy and figured out how to say it -- 

the clinical word is "wus"

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-K8memphis Posted 14 Jul 2016 , 3:13pm
post #3 of 10

y'know what you could do -- call her and say 'hey -- I got the dates mixed up and I'm as disappointed as you are' -- albeit for different reasons -- 'so I what I can do is a 9x 13 in your flavor --but I just don't have time to do what we planned' 

you have nothing to lose and your rightful night's sleep to keep/gain/protect -- it is more than not right for you to stay up all night just for some one's dumb cake -- seriously -- especially since you are not a business -- 

it's awkward, it's a little embarrassing -- but it's ok -- you can still provide her a cake -- good enough -- stuff happens

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Webake2gether Posted 14 Jul 2016 , 3:47pm
post #4 of 10

I don't have a hard time saying no anymore at all. MY time is valuable regardless of what it's for or who it's for. Saying no isn't to be mean or even bc you don't want to do it but no is meant to keep you sane, healthy and happy. I'm sorry that you switched the dates around nothing worse than a honest mistake to mess everything up.

If I were a hobby baker and this was a free of charge deal she'd get what she gets. Probably sounds harsh but that's life when things are free. I don't think I would lose a second of sleep over a free cake.  For no money to be exchanged doesn't really seem worth it to me to stay up all night over a cake. Even for a paid cake staying up all night isn't worth it. im someone who honors the commitments I make but I would like to believe that a true friend would be understanding of a honest mistake and have some grace in receiving what you are able to give at the least amount stress on your part. That's the kind of friend I would be anyway and the type of friends I keep :) 

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Cali6422 Posted 14 Jul 2016 , 4:18pm
post #5 of 10

the clinical word is "wus"

BAWHAHAHAHAHA ... K8memphis - YES ... I looked it up in the dictionary.  Right beside the word "wus" is my picture!!  smile.png Yup, after this round is completed, I'm not committing to more than 1 cake a month.  It just sucks up too much time from other areas of my life.  This is burning me out a little.  I'm feeling a bit dry, crispy, and over-browned around the edges.

Webake2gether - Fortunately, frosting and filling is same I'd already prepared for the cake I thought was due.  So that's done.  And I do have some useable fondant decorations pre-made (I make out of extra fondant and keep around).  Maybe I'll manage to crank something out and still salvage a few hours sleep.  It just won't be quite as ambitious of a cake as I would have undertaken if I had the dates correct.

I'll just look on the bright side ... I'll have practically nothing to do for the cake due the following weekend.  Hey maybe I should tell the co-worker who asked if I could do an anniversary cake next week that I'll be free.  hahaha ... kidding ... JK.

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-K8memphis Posted 14 Jul 2016 , 4:39pm
post #6 of 10

well there many many faces pasted underneath yours and there's one covering yours up already --

 hey idea for you -- when someone asks you for a cake, start saying automatically , 'I'll get back to you' -- to give you time to consider everything --

if they press you say 'oh no I can't do it'

sounds like you really need to put up some cozy boundaries 

best of the best to you including sleep blush.png

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carolinecakes Posted 14 Jul 2016 , 5:18pm
post #7 of 10

I believe the term you are looking for is People Pleasers..........I was in recovery several years ago and now I'm there is hope for you yet blush.png

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jgifford Posted 14 Jul 2016 , 6:59pm
post #8 of 10

I believe the technical term is "doormat" . My ex-husband got me over that, may he rest in peace.

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Pastrybaglady Posted 14 Jul 2016 , 8:34pm
post #9 of 10

Ah yes, don't be a wussy-people-pleasing-doormat! I agree with K8 that if you train yourself to automatically say, "I'll have to get back to you" it will give you a chance to have a good talk or a smack down with yourself!

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costumeczar Posted 14 Jul 2016 , 9:09pm
post #10 of 10

Hahaha! I read the title of your post and thought that the term is "sucker," then I read the first sentence where you said that you must have that on your forehead. So I'm going with "sucker."

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