I don't post very often; ok almost never even though I regularly browse this site for years.

My 16 yr old daughter avoids cooking and pretty much the kitchen like it's the plague.  Yet she is the worst at coming to me asking for cakes, cookies etc for different things often on short notice or near impossible to do.  

Yesterday afternoon I still had halloween costumes to finish making, things for my son's class party and what seemed like a million other things to do last night/ this morning.  In fact I was so busy it slipped my mind that it was my 9 yr old autistic son's early day out and the school had to call me because he was the only one left not picked up.  Oops!  

           So I  pick up my high schooler and she hits me with the fact that she needs a two tier cake that feeds 100  for dance team halloween party at noon today.   I can't!  Not only is there not enough time in my busy schedule, but also I had a stroke a few weeks ago.  While I'm making a full recovery I'm still pretty weak.   I caved on the condition that she help with every step of the process, which she did including piping.   I tried to talk her into a sheet cake...nope had to have 2 tiers.  While we were working she kept saying "I'm never working in a bakery"  " I'm never doing this again"  On and on and on.  We worked late last night and up early this morning to finish.  She was wore out as she went to school this morning, but she truely has a better appreciation for what she asks of me. 

I'm so wore out that my left arm barely wants to move, but so worth it for the bonding experience and the huge grin of accomplishment she wore when she carried her cake into school. Then again when she told how it was gone within minutes of bringing it in with not a single piece wasted because they thought it was so good.

That was a nice lesson!  My husband had a stroke 3 years ago right before we opened our restaurant.  He has also made a pretty quick, full recovery, but we worry every time he has an "odd" symptom that he's never had before.

Please take care of yourself, and rest over the weekend!

Liz

You are one heck of a good mother!!!  I would not have been able to do the same, simply too much work!!  Your daughter is very proud of you!  

Also, what your daughter was saying  "i'm never doing this again…I could never work in a bakery"…e.t.c….It's what I say every time I am doing an order  r LOL  

Great way to teach her both appreciation of what you do for her, what it takes to make a cake and have a great time of bonding w/your kid.  Good for y ou and good for her - I'm sure she now knows not to ask for such difficult things :)

AI would have caved too! How can you say no to mums/daughters etc?

ABoy, I'm mean. i would have said no and told her to go do it herself and here are the pans if she needed that so badly.:grin:

Children will always try to get away with whatever you let them get away with. I am glad you forced her to help you make the cake. That way, maybe she will think twice next time and tell you way ahead of time when she wants a cake. Now she knows that whipping up a two tier cake is not as easy as she thought it was!!!

My son would have gotten a sheet cake and the case would have been closed for discussion with me. I guess I am mean also but my son (when he was little) knew that he did not always get his way. You must be a very patient mom and very understanding with your daughter!!!

AMine would have gotten a ride to costco. And I wouldn't have gone inside to pay for it either!

"ride to costco"--hahaha--make 'em walk uphill both ways--ride their bike!!!  dog sled-- mush! mush!  jk jk jk no but i totally get the sentiment-- un-sentiment? ;)

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i think this is a sweet story--yes hope you to get rested up big time this weekend--thanks for sharing

♥

ANot saying she would, but What are the chances DD takes all the credit and wants to start her own business? Some kids would.

Aand yeah, dd would be getting a ride to Walmart for a sheet cake, unless she had a learners permit. Then she would drive while I took a ride to Walmart. Sheet cake! And if she didn't have the money then she would be working around the house a bit more for next couple weeks.

it could be worse--i home schooled for a couple years and for 'home ec' my dd made bavarian waffles--they are yeasted of course and you beat the egg whites separately and being an idiot i probably had her make a double or triple batch--i don't remember the particulars but it took her forever and ever to make them--she got it all done--and she hung up her spatula for ten years.

we've done wedding cupcakes together and she bakes like a pro now--but there are 'alternate endings' to this adventure ;)
 

Are you kidding me?  It sounds like you've got 'Doormat' written on your forehead.  I'm sorry, but if my daughter had demanded a two tier cake due the next day with everything you have on your plate I too would have handed a couple of boxes of cake mix or a recipe,  the pans and a good luck pat on the back.  It sounded like she complained all through the process.  If that's bonding then your interpretation of it is different than mine.  Yes, I know I sound harsh, but i really think you  need to look at everything you wrote and see what I saw...a woman stretched to the breaking point who is letting her life run her instead of her running her life.

You really can say no to a 16 year old girl.  They'll survive!

At least you did make her stay up with you to work on the cake, and if you think she learned from it, good.  I think she learned she can continue to talk mom into doing anything no matter how inconvenient. 

Again...I'm really not trying to be mean... though you may think so.  I just feel for women in your situation and think you need to stand up for yourself and take care of yourself so you don't have another stroke.  "Just say no"  is actually quite liberating and you are one person who IMHO think needs to say it more often. 

Good luck and take care of yourself!  I hope your daughter really does appreciate your hard work and sacrifices.

OP, I understand not wanting to write a long story, but apparently you left out important details. It's not fair to give limited information then jump on people who post.

in this big bad world we live in--i give you permission to jump anyone who jumps you first and anyone who needs to get jumped before they jump you--

i'm being sarcastic toward your accusers--yes you need to hold quite still, op, whilst we flay you for posting a sweet story and then you have the nerve to try to defend yourself against someone who had to write disclaimers for being  'harsh' and 'mean', their words not mine.

leave her alone for crying out loud leave her alone just stop with the self righteous bull sh*t stop it stop picking her apart --go ahead jump me for sticking up for her--wtf is wrong with yous?

Hmm. With the exception of once, in my childhood, I have yet to bother with anything more elaborate than either a single-layer sheet cake, served in-pan, or a naked pound cake, baked in a Bundt mold. The only times I've been tempted to go beyond that were with the Leland Award cakes for this year and last year, and I stopped myself simply because I have no safe way to transport a decorated cake unless it's "served in-pan" and baked in the one 9x13 I have (a nice, heavy-duty one by, if I remember right, NordicWare) that came with a fitted cover.

The OP took the lemon life handed her, and used it to make lemonade. And it sounds like this is far from the first time life has handed her one.

I'm thinking the same thing carmijok is. Can't get past the "demanding". 

AI liked your story, fun2bmomx4. Glad you posted it.

good for you and your daughter..I have three older children so I can relate...

So I was watching this thread very curious how it would twist and turn.

You didn't ask for it, but I'm going to give you my honest opinion.  When I first read OP's post, my thought was "wow what a selfish brat. How dare she (being of age to know better) wait until the last minute then demand an elaborate cake which required all night and part of the next morning."  No, OP didn't say she demanded.  Certainly by the tone it was written, it sure sounded like she was dealing with a child who 1. didn't respect timelines (having a caking mother she must know them) 2. couldn't be persuaded for a compromise. 3. completely disregarded the OPs physical limitations and difficulties.  That equates to someone being selfish.  May not have been intended, but as is all writing it was easy to interpret that way.

I then read on to see that the child helped.....BUT complained the entire time ("on and on").  Again, this was my interpretation of what was written.  

This all reminds me of the Shel Silverstien story The Giving Tree.  Some people read that story and they think "wow, what a wonderful loving tree who gave so much to the little boy she loved." I read it and think "WOW, the tree gave up her SELF.  Now, she's just a stump." 

Life is perception.  Many ways of looking at things.

I do encourage you to set and maintain boundaries in your life.  I recommend that not only for you but also for your children.  Guilt is a dangerous motivator.  It's hard to be a parent, but it's very important you don't parent from guilt.  I'm not assuming you don't.   I don't know you.  But I do know it is sometimes difficult to be a strong, confident woman who is first self FULL and cares for herself.

AWell despite my earlier comment the truth is I probably would have just made the cake for my older daughter, who also got an autistic baby brother at age 6. As the sister of an autistic brother myself, I have always tried to make sure she doesn't get left out because I know too well how that goes, but it has translated into me over-indulging her at times.

I commend the OP for choosing to turn the situation into a learning and bonding opportunity, although I still think that the lesson should really have been that mommy has a lot going on and that you can't simply expect a complicated cake to appear out of thin air on a moments notice.