I just got a message from my nephew's finance. She wants a cake for her brother's birthday (he's going to be 30), who is a baseball fan. She needs it to feed 25, wants it decorated with fondant and fondant decorations, and with a cream cheese filling...and she only wants to spend $50.00. I can tell you right now that there's not going to be a lot of detail happening at that price!

My boyfriend's mom gave me offered me 10 dollars for a carrot cake with cream cheese icing for her daughter to feed the entire family. I said that I wouldn't charge her for it but that this would be my birthday gift since I am close with the family.

But a a cake for a nephew's fiancee's brother is pushing it. As the fiancee I'd ask how much for a cake and what it comes with and go from there. It bothers me when people just assume that the measly amount of money they are offering for what they want is ok. It's not just about paying for ingredients people!

I'm glad someone brought up this subject, I've been toying with the idea of posting the question but haven't quite found the words, lol

My daughter called late last week. Her exacts words to start the conversation were " I called to put in an order " and actually it was 2 orders.

This is a normal thing for her to do. She dictacts what she wants, For the 1st cake she wants Dora the Explorer, flavor &.... do not use bc or fondant because they don't like it. Second cake, Meiter from the cars theme. of course no bc or fondant.

She does not offer to pay for it, she expects it to be given to her (or my grand & great grandchildren)

Before you all get any thoughts, I did teach my daughter to ask for things and say please and thank you, She teachs the same to hers and so on.

I thought I was the only person dealing with family demanding but feel better I'm not alone.

Unless someone is actually there watching you create these cakes, I don't think they realize what goes into making one. My butter cream is homemade, as well as the fondant. Here's how I do it:

Go to the store and get any supplies I'll need to make the cake. I don't always have everything on hand I need.

If the cake calls for fondant details (like people, flowers, etc.) I do those ahead of time so they can dry. Those things don't make themselves, and take time to do.

Make the cake. Bake the cake. While the cake is baking, this is when I make the buttercream and fondant. I do those one batch at a time (buttercream I make in double batches), so if I need more than one batch...I'm doing it during this time. Once the cake is out and cooling, I clean any mess I've made and do the dishes I've dirtied. Once the cake is cool, I level it, then torte it.

Once that is done, I crumb coat it and put in the fridge to firm up some. While it's in the fridge, I get everything around that I need to decorate the cake. Then I decorate. I put care and detail into all the cakes I make, so I don't go really fast.

Once the cake is done, I box it. After that I once again clean the kitchen.

I think most people have the supermarket cake mentality. I think they think I go into my freezer and grab out a cake (I don't freeze my cakes ahead of time. I make them to order), grab a ginormous tub of pre-made buttercream, and open a package of fondant, and away I go.

It's really hard to educate people.

..........daughter called...conversation ..." I called to put in an order " ......

An *ORDER* is a business deal.......seldom are they FREE.

Only YOU can prevent people from walking all over you. When they ask (as above) you reply with "that will be $XXX."

@ Kakeladi, I totally agree, rofl... What I told her first was to let me see what my schedule had and I'd get back to her in a couple of days. When I called her, I said "If someone gives me an order and tells me how they want it, that is a customer. They get what they want because they pay for my services and products, If someone ask me for a gift they can expect something nice BUT it will be bakers choice" Needless to say I haven't heard anymore about it.

@ debidehm, There's not much difference in my business either. I just buy larger quantities and try to keep what I use most in stock. I am not a retail bakery I am a commercial bakery.

It always makes me uncomfortable to deal w family and friends. They ask to place an order but then expect you to do it for practically nothing. I want to bake for family & friends because they're my biggest fans but at the end of the day it's a business and it's not gonna stay open by giving out free "orders"

It always makes me uncomfortable to deal w family and friends. They ask to place an order but then expect you to do it for practically nothing. I want to bake for family & friends because they're my biggest fans but at the end of the day it's a business and it's not gonna stay open by giving out free "orders"

[quote="BakingIrene]
And tell us please, when they don't want buttercream or fondant, what do you ice the cake with? and what on earth do you use to decorate it? Fairy dust?[/quote]

This is what I want to know....that puzzled me.

Can,t please family and friends. I just run the other way.

Hahaha fairy dust I was laughing so hard I had to stop crying to type

When I first started making cakes and still in many communities the cakes are iced with that imitation whip topping called Pastry Pride. It is good for a few desserts but you don't get much design with it.

I enjoy making 3D cakes and being creative. The Only thing I use Pastry Pride on are the iced coffee drinks nowadays.

If anybody can tell me where to get fairy dust, please point me in the right direction, rofl....

My brother in law asked for a birthday cake for my sister in law. I was fine with that, he didn't specify any details. I made a small cake, as they are a family of 5. He had asked for it to be done this past Sunday. My husband called his brother & asked him when he would be coming to pick it up. He said, oh I forgot to tell you I didn't need the cake this weekend after all. Uh too bad, your going to drive over here and get it & maybe next time I'm going to be too busy to make that cake.

My nephew's fiance sent me another picture of a cake she had in mind for me to make for her brother. It was LOADED with details. I then sent her another picture of one I found that was still really nice, but a lot less detail. Since she wanted a cake with a baseball theme, it was a base with a baseball cap on it in the teams color, and initial. She e-mailed back she wanted the one she sent because it had more details. That's when I about blew!

I don't ever get into what goes into making a cake with anyone, or how I come up with pricing, but this time I thought "screw it". I'm getting tired of some family members wanting a "designer" cake for the price of a generic one. She's one that if I don't nip this in the bud, she'll keep wanting "discounted" cakes from me. So I send her a brief explanation on all that goes into making one. I told her I would still love to make the cake for her, but that for the price she wants to spend, the picture I sent her would be more along the lines of what I could do.

I just got a one line reply back from her. It read " I think I'll just order a sheet cake from (our local discount supermarket)"!!!!!

I'd say Yeah!! but not sure of that. At least you won't be stuck with hours of work and feeling cheated either.

my mouth is hanging open after reading this thread!
i thought my sister was the worst of the worst, but I can see that she's just a member of a large club!

I am very happy to use my expertise to make a gift for a family member or friend. It's one of the few things I can offer that no one else can, but shame on anyone who looks that gift horse in the mouth.

my sister is one who calls to put in her "order" and expects results. after her comments about her wedding cake, i'm done baking for her. she can do it herself. i asked her to pick up my son from school on monday and she didn't even pause before refusing.

the free cake train is now retired.

I've got one. My husband has family in different cities that are each 2-3 hours away. Not only do that want a free cake because I'm the sister-in-law, but they want me to travel the 3 hours to them. I have done this only on two occasions, it was for my step-daughter's 15 th birthday and her graduation party. And I did it because our relationship isn't that great and I was trying to win her over. And because I would do anything for MF husband amd it was at his request.

OK time for a different family story about icing...

The winter before I got married, some second-cousins-in-law-to-be, a teenage brother and sister, nicely asked me into the kitchen for a private conversation. When we got there I said "what's up" and they said "do you know our grandmother's recipe for hard sauce? Can you please write it down for us?" I smiled and said that they didn't need paper or pen. Hard sauce was always served with steamed pudding for Christmas, after a feast of roast wild goose.

I told them to take some unsalted butter, mix in enough icing sugar to make it stiff, then to mix enough brandy or rum to make it soft. Their grandmother came into the kitchen to hear the tail end of this, and wanted to know why her grandchildren didn't just ask her. They said they thought it was suck a deep dark secret recipe that they would have to ask me...

So there are decent families. I had so much fun baking for these people that I never took the money which they always offered.

Great job standing up for yourself! I had to learn that from CC myself. I used to beat myself up for it, but now that we are so busy, I have no remorse! I have learned to say no and the stress has really eased up. Again, good job!

Yes, it did feel good to say what I would do, and what I wouldn't do based on her budget. I have already done a bridal shower cake for her for her sister, and went WAY above and beyond the budget she gave me...even telling her at that time I was giving her a one time discount. I guess she forgot!!

Cheers to her and her family on their sheet cake!