The Friend/customer Who Made Me Quit (A Long Story)

Decorating By Texas_Rose Updated 1 Feb 2013 , 8:56am by mcaulir

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renkly Posted 1 Mar 2012 , 12:22pm
post #61 of 108

What a terrible situation but like the posts say - a situation you let happen. As far as going back to school and starting a career - what would you have charged for this order if the situation had been differently? I started my business with a best friend. When we delivered the cake, she told everyone she made it!! So I started my own business without her and LOVE everyday of "work". You have the talent for sure - so follow your heart and the rest will come!!

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cutthecake Posted 1 Mar 2012 , 1:05pm
post #62 of 108

Those people are neither "friends" nor "customers".

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Texas_Rose Posted 1 Mar 2012 , 1:10pm
post #63 of 108
Originally Posted by Annabakescakes

Wait, did you have to walk home with kids and a car seat? Did you get a ride at all? How far did you have to walk?

The hotel was about 8 miles from the house...way too far to walk. I took the kids to eat at Taco Bell (which they love but I don't eat, so we save it for a treat) and then we went and walked around Garden Ridge Pottery until my husband got off work. If he hadn't gotten off work by the time Garden Ridge closed, we would have taken a cab home.

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Texas_Rose Posted 1 Mar 2012 , 1:13pm
post #64 of 108
Originally Posted by planetsomsom

What a horror show! I am so uncomfortable around people that I don't think I would have been able to endure shopping with practical-strangers and inviting them into my home...

It doesn't seem that Texas Rose is all that interested in receiving encouragement to start up a business. Maybe she knows her personal abilities better than we do... If she really wanted to start a business, this wouldn't have stopped her for very long. When you really want something, you eventually find a way.

To follow the TX cottage food law, you have to have the customer in your home at some point (or take checks by mail, but I wouldn't take checks at all). So this was kind of a trial run of how I felt having someone I didn't know well in my house.

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robinmarie Posted 1 Mar 2012 , 2:09pm
post #65 of 108

I'm curious, has she contacted you since the party?

your cake are beautiful, i hope you continue with your cakes.

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cindy458 Posted 1 Mar 2012 , 2:22pm
post #66 of 108

I have read through these posts and Texas Rose, I feel very sad for you. I have been decorating cakes for only a year and just now have started making cakes for the general public. Do you enjoy decorating cakes? From the looks of your cakes I would say, yes. Don't let people like them still your thunder, rain on your parade, etc, etc. You've heard of Karma, right? Get a plan together list what you make and your prices and go for it, girl! I realized if I was going to get serious about decorating, I had to have a plan and stick to it. I wish I could bake and decorate all the time, but unfortunately , I have to work a full time job, too. I had someone at work wanting me to make a cake so I gave her a copy of my prices and in that I have written *Please order two weeks in advance, and I'll be darn if she didn't wait until monday at work to ask if I could make a small cake for wednesday. My husband was having surgery on wednesday, so I couldn't do it, but I would have told her no any way because she knew I needed two weeks in advance. Didn't mean to make this about me, what I'm trying to get at, if you love doing this, don't let them take that from you. you have something to offer to the public and you should go for it. Make a list of how you want to run your business and put it in writing for your customers. The ones who matter will order from you and the rest, well, they don't matter. Good Luck and Remember: EVERYTHING IS BIGGER IN TEXAS so rise above this neighbors stupidity! icon_biggrin.gifthumbs_up.gif

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sole_ve Posted 1 Mar 2012 , 2:24pm
post #67 of 108

grrrrr icon_mad.gif you had too much patience!!! I don't what to do when my friends no too close said me plz a need a cake but I will pay you!.. anyways.. was a learning!! don't give up! keep baking!! icon_biggrin.gif

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cosmicbear Posted 1 Mar 2012 , 2:41pm
post #68 of 108

not to compare, but your cakes are far more beautiful than mine. and yet it wasn't until i started telling people "no" that i finally felt truly good about my talent. i understand how you feel. no one has done to me what was done to you, but i sure felt disrespected for my trade and as a person when people don't take my cake decorating seriously. it's as if it was the easiest thing in the world to bake and decorate a cake the way people dismiss my time. when i finally set rules for myself and told people "no" when said rules couldn't all be followed, that's when i felt a huge weight off my chest. and funnily enough, people wanted my cakes even more. i guess they thought i was in demand! LOL but it was just me being in control of my cake life. every once in a while, someone comes along who still makes me feel disrespected and therefore furious, but i have also learned to let go, it's their loss not mine. nowhere will they get a cake like mine for that price around here. i'm still the "sensitive" type about doing business with callous customers, but that's all the more reason why i had to follow the rules i've established for myself.

i got all these advice from here on cakecentral some years ago. i'm glad i read through forum posts like yours and put the words of wisdom i read into practice.

right now i'm also thinking about quitting the cake biz altogether but it's not because of these people whom i felt treated me bad. my kids are also all going to be in school soon so i can go back to working elsewhere and not have to stay home. i will still make cakes for my kids' birthdays that's for sure. i wish you success in whatever path you take for yourself now, and peace of mind. those are my wishes for myself too you see.

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Texas_Rose Posted 1 Mar 2012 , 2:52pm
post #69 of 108
Originally Posted by robinmarie

I'm curious, has she contacted you since the party?

No, she hasn't contacted me.

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natr1977 Posted 1 Mar 2012 , 3:32pm
post #70 of 108

This has definitely happened to me and I bet if you asked her the cake wasn't good enough for the 100.00 she spent!! Don't let this deter you from having a good time and making money doing something you love doing!!!! Please post a pic of the cake that you made for these losers. Good luck your cakes are really nice you didn't need to practice.

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meli23 Posted 1 Mar 2012 , 3:59pm
post #71 of 108

I think that something like this has happened to a lot of us, don't let this discourage you. I recently began to sell cakes also, under this new cottage law. In November I held a holiday open house bake shop in my home, I invited friends, family, people from church and teachers from my daughters school, they came to my home and sampled my cakes and cookies and preordered for the Christmas season. This was a huge success and I was able to buy my supplies with the money I received from the preorders. Be proud of your work, there are many who will appreciate it.

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KittyCakes88 Posted 1 Mar 2012 , 4:13pm
post #72 of 108

What an awful experience. My suggestion: make yourself a big sign that says CONTRACT.

I tutor students for SAT exams. At first, I had problems last minute cancellations and time changes, late arrivals, homework not done, and so on. Now I have a contract (OK: I call it "information for students and parents") that everyone must sign. Makes it easier to stick to my guns.

You can include the price for each order. If it is a close friend or relative that you are not charging, tell them that you still need the contract with a price of zero for your tax reporting purposes. Make them sign and keep a copy.

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FromScratchSF Posted 1 Mar 2012 , 5:02pm
post #73 of 108

In my Dr. House voice:

People ssssuck.

In my voice:

What jackholes!

The beautiful thing about what we do (solo pro cake artists) is we have the luxury to pick and choose the people we work with. Sometimes it takes getting burned to identify the warning signs and to weed out the people that will burn you. It seems counterintuitive to turn down business on a hunch or warning sign because we all want to make money, be busy, or attempt new projects, but you gotta do it.

You'll keep at it. I know you will. Doing this stuff is like crack. Once you get a taste you can't just... stop. icon_biggrin.gif

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Mothersuperior Posted 1 Mar 2012 , 5:18pm
post #74 of 108

Wish I had the time to read everyone's post but... let me first tell you that your cakes are beautiful and I hope one ungrateful neighbor will not discourage you from your caking. I think this is a lesson learned and whether or not you start a business you should continue with your caking and if you ever feel the need to practice or bake a cake that you will not be paid for, bring it to your local police, fire, nursing home they will be most appreciative of your work and kindness unlike your neighbor. Also look into your local animal shelter, they sometimes hold fund raisers and they would be lucky to have one of your creations to sell or ruffle off (no business license needed) Good luck and God bless.

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Chiara Posted 1 Mar 2012 , 6:16pm
post #75 of 108

Please do not allow this very selfish family to make you quit your passion.

Get your cottage licence and then make sure you never let a person do that to you again. A tasting apt. maybe but beyond that have a contract even if the cake is free and itemize the entire process so that it is documented.
So she helped with most of the cake did she? Well you live on the same street. I am sure at some point the people will notice that she can't bake so how is it she came up with such a piece. Just avoid them and keep your passion going.

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Rosie2 Posted 1 Mar 2012 , 7:26pm
post #76 of 108
Originally Posted by BlakesCakes

Actually, this experience points out why you should WANT to start a paying business.

With a paying business, you wouldn't have been begging for the money for ingredients....
With a paying business, you wouldn't have had the woman hovering over you at the grocery store or at home while you're baking.
With a paying business, you never would have allowed her to touch those cookies....
With a paying business, you never would have hitched a ride with DH
With a paying business, when someone claimed that the mother had done most of the work on the cake, you would have loudly told her that she was dead wrong.....

With a paying business, you'd never, ever, have to tolerate beggars wanting to be choosers...

With a paying business, you would have heard the words "not enough money left over for the cake" and you WOULD HAVE TOLD HER TO GO ELSEWHERE FOR HER CAKE.............

This will sound harsh, and it's not meant to be but I don't know how else to put have every right to be angry with these people, but you can only be taken advantage of by others if YOU allow them to do it. You did, and I'd imagine that deep down, you're angry with yourself right now. It's natural & it's OK. Learn from it.

Once they ASK you for the cake, YOU are in the driver's seat and YOU need to stop the bus the second they try to grab the wheel.


Ditto 10 times!!!! ----

And yes reading your post made my blood boil. What it got to me was when she told you to leave and come back to cut the cake, what???!!! just like a servant huh? wow, she has some nerve... but like Rae said people can only take advantage if YOU allow it---it's YOUR call not theirs. So, lesson learned and move on.
I'm also a hobby baker and I've had people that forget to say 'thank you' or complaint that the cake was 'too sweet' or act demanding when they're getting a free cake, etc ---well, you know what? when those peope come back and ask for another free cake you know what I say? a very definite and clear "NO" that's it.

Good luck to you and don't let people discourage you from doing something you enjoy.

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KarolynAndrea Posted 1 Mar 2012 , 11:00pm
post #77 of 108

As I was reading this I could feel my blood pressure rising! This is over the top ridiculous. There are so many red flags!! You weren't even getting paid for it. I can't believe they treated you like that. I have learned from experience, that if you don't put your foot down, people will walk all over you. You can't let that happen. ESPECIALLY since you aren't getting paid!
The last straw is that lady who said not to take credit for her work. I bet you wanted to throw that cake in her face and leave!
Don't let this discourage you, let it be a lesson learned...YOU make the rules and if people don't want to abide by them...PEACE!

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Deborahwhitman Posted 2 Mar 2012 , 12:37am
post #78 of 108

icon_biggrin.gif I am a Chef and run my business baking custom cakes from my home. I have been fortunate enough to never run into a situation like yours. Perhaps it is my training as a Chef that taught me to guard myself and my work, or maybe I just work for nicer people! When I am contacted by a client for an order, I get up front what they are expecting, and I let them know what I am willing and able to do for them. NEVER WORK FOR are telling them your work is worthless! Let them know what your bill will be and don't let anyone push you around! Your cakes are great, I would hate to see you let one bad apple spoil your ambitions! You just gotta get business savvy and toughen up! Good Luck!!

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cakeLady4AR Posted 2 Mar 2012 , 2:29am
post #79 of 108

I know exactly how you feel! This "FREE" Cake thing ha happened to me alot along with the "DISCOUNT" Cake! I think people watch Cake Boss and all those other cake shows and that's the cake they want. I really wih they would how the prices for Duffs cakes and all the other cake how prices. People want the $2500.00 cake they aw on TV for $50.00! I don't do cakes too much anymore just for that reason.

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ckeel127 Posted 2 Mar 2012 , 2:04pm
post #80 of 108

Why on earth would you want to quit. You make AMAZING cakes and have such a beautiful talent. You could continue to go after your dream. I try to learn something with every project I take on and this would definitely be a learning experience. I'm sure this will NEVER happen again because you know better now. The next time anyone tries to get a "free" cake, you'll turn the other way (especially if they're not family or a close friend).

Please don't get discouraged. It's people like you that give me (a novice a baking) inspiration with the beautiful cakes you make.

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Runjhunk Posted 3 Mar 2012 , 12:10pm
post #81 of 108

OMG this is really frightening and easily might have become my story if i hadn't said no.

A neighbour who moved into our apt recently had kids who got freindly with mine so i invited her to my kids b'day party. I had made a big cake and lotsa goodies, sugar candies , lollies, caramel apples, jellos and some indian snacks as well.

She behaved rudely in my kid's party and both her kids came when only one was invited. i din't mind as the more the merrier and my hubby gave them both return gifts. these kids at first turned up their noses when they saw the gift which was a pretty cool volley ball. but later came back and took it.

She had asked me earlier to become an organizer for her kid's gala event. I hardly knew her and i'm just a hobby baker. i have although made some stuff for close friends' parties. i told that lady i am not into this professionally and i politely refused.

She still kept on pestering by calling up afterwards. i just ignored her calls and then didn't speak when I saw her outside in the apt grounds. I had a bit of an idea of her snooty and arrogant attitude from frens.
the kids altough kept meeting in the bus as they go to the same school and they had a few arguments.

and then her elder kid started bullying my baby doll. and now and i am really stressed out on the whole issue.

After this, at the school bus stop, where we pick up our kids, She even tried to force money in my purse in lieu of the return gifts i gave her kids when they came to my kid's party, which i shirked away.
I felt like crying that day. I was so shocked i was shivering the whole day.

till now i can't sleep at night thinking bout the bullying and name calling happening to my kiddo in the bus and school. Past three days she has come home sad and depressed.

but then you see meaner people and get some courage.

Mean People SUCK

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icer101 Posted 3 Mar 2012 , 12:55pm
post #82 of 108

I,ve replied a couple pages back. I have reread this story by Judi and i think she is pulling our legs lol!!! The title of the thread was friend/customer.. she was neither. She was a neighbor that Judi doesn,t even know that well. When she told me that my house was messy and that it was ugly etc. (rest of the story) thats when i would have went off on her and stopped at what i was doing and let that be that. It was a good story though, lol!! too many pretty cakes and too much knowlege to do something for free for practice.

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vtcake Posted 3 Mar 2012 , 6:05pm
post #83 of 108

I find it hard to believe that the OP went thru all this supposed abuse, and then ended the story by taking her kids walking through a bad part of town.

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Texas_Rose Posted 3 Mar 2012 , 7:28pm
post #84 of 108

I've noticed that whenever there's a long thread, someone starts calling the OP a liar. Here's a question...what would I have to gain from making up something like this?

The woman I baked for lives two blocks away, which is actually a neighborhood built by a different builder. Her house is twice the square footage of mine, but mine has 10 foot ceilings and lots of nice upgrades like 42" cabinets and ceramic tile, a bay window in the kitchen, and the hubby has put in nice light fixtures. My kids have been in her house and said it was dirty and looked like they were in the middle of moving in, although they've been in their house a couple years longer than I've been in mine. I met this woman about a year ago when I started riding a bike for exercise and have probably talked to her once a month since then, sometimes for more than an hour. My kids have played with her youngest child, we've seen them at neighborhood events, run into each other at yard sales, etc.

The reason I didn't stop making the cake when she started going on about my house was that I can't stand to leave a project unfinished, and also it's hard to quit in the middle of things, I had all the fondant made, the gumpaste work done, the boards cut and covered, and the cakes half baked. There was no way she could have turned it all into a cake at that point. I didn't want to leave her kids without a cake.

And yes, we did end up walking after we dropped off the cake...I was going to call a cab, but it was so late that I figured hubby would be off work any minute. I had condensed my cake kit into what would fit in a quart bag so I'd be able to stick it in my purse and just go. It was a little weird taking the carseat into Garden Ridge, but nobody said anything to me. We just stuck the carseat into the cart and my 6 year old sat on it while we shopped. I never know what time my husband is getting off work, it could be 5pm or it could be midnight.

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Rosiepan Posted 3 Mar 2012 , 8:14pm
post #85 of 108

Why on earth are you trying to justify yourself to the last two posters?
There is nothing to gain from what you wrote. You just needed to vent and that is what you did.Some people just need drama. They should go bake a cake.

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The4manxies Posted 3 Mar 2012 , 9:21pm
post #86 of 108

Texasrose, what a shame you encountered such a horrible woman . She has the problem and in my experience, is not the norm. I too make cakes and started with family and friends, then started getting requests from friends of friends and it's grown from there.

I posted a picture of a Moshi Monster cake I'd made on facebook and one of my sister's friends 'liked' the photo. One of her work colleagues saw the photo and was gobsmacked as the lady who'd ordered the cake had claimed she'd made it herself for her daughter's birthday. Just shows, she'll be found out in the end, mark my words!! As a laugh, the work colleague asked her how she'd made the Moshis - I wish I'd been there to hear her response.

In my experience, the majority of people who order cakes are extremely appreciative and delighted with their cake and appreciate the hard work and skill it takes to make them ( plus the late nights). I love seeing their faces and reaction, it truly is the best part of the cake making/decorating experience . icon_evil.gificon_biggrin.gif

Keep calm and carry on.... best wishes Debbie in the Isle of Man

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karateka Posted 3 Mar 2012 , 9:53pm
post #87 of 108


I never doubted your story. Sad as it is, you can't make this crap up.

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HeidiL Posted 4 Mar 2012 , 1:59am
post #88 of 108

So sorry you got taken advantage of like that. Sadly, there are people like that in this world. They obviously did not appreciate what you were doing for them, and completely underestimated the value of what they were getting and all the time and hard work that went into it. It's mind boggling that the husband did not grasp the idea that you were not getting paid for what you were doing and acted as if he was doing you some kind of favor! I'm not sure if you want encouragement to pursue starting a business or not, so I will not speak to that, but I do agree with those who said you should just take some time to pick yourself up and reflect on what you really, really want. You are obviously a very nice person, and you handled the situation as graciously as anyone could have. I applaud you for that!

I'm also sorry you came here to share your disappointment with others and instead of giving support, or just not saying anything, some felt compelled to question your honesty instead of taking your words at face value. I always like to give someone the benefit of a doubt before sending them to the electric chair!

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step0nmi Posted 4 Mar 2012 , 2:01am
post #89 of 108
Originally Posted by karateka


I never doubted your story. Sad as it is, you can't make this crap up.

agreed icon_sad.gif

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Runjhunk Posted 4 Mar 2012 , 2:16am
post #90 of 108

I don't think any one will go to these lengths to grab attention. i do believe texasrose's story is correct.
and yes its really difficult to drop things midway. if one has made sugarpaste figures and half the cakes, one does want to finish the project off, no matter what the difficulties.


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