Wow!! Am I the only person asking this question? This is someone you call 'friend'? I have customers that refer folks to me all the time that would never presume as much as your 'friend' has.

I forget who said this here on CC, but I quote it often to my Business class students, "we train our customers how to treat us". No truer words were ever spoken. And let's take it one step further....we train people how to treat us.

You will never succeed at this business if you can't stand up for yourself. What better place to start than with this 'friend'.
Good luck!!

Claire, this person is threatened by, and jealous of, your TALENT. She's trying to feed off of your success by being able to say that she sent you customers. She sees you as competition--artistic competition--and that's why she minimizes what you do--by saying she could do it "except for...", by interfering with your pricing, by influencing your customer base.

I don't call someone like that a friend.............I do like the vampire analogy, though.

If you can talk calmly and directly to her, set her straight, and let bygones by bygones, that's great.

If she's a real friend, she'll see where she's been wrong, apologize, & be glad to not have lost a friend. She'll go forward being more aware.

Sadly, I wouldn't put a dime on this outcome. I'll bet that she makes it all your fault for not going along with her, not appreciating her "help", and her telling you how you're wrong.

The old saying, "With friends like this, who needs ememies?" certainly originated from a similar experience.

Rae

[quote="QTCakes1"]

Quote:

Originally Posted by costumeczar

Quote:

Originally Posted by Claire138

The vampire suddenly burst into tears, and we all asked her what was wrong. She said "She's just so HAPPY!" And, no, they weren't tears of joy, she was really upset that my roommate ws doing well.

OMG!!!! I just had to bust out laughing in disbelief at this one. That's not even a vampire friend, but a devil! You have to be some kind of evil soul to cry sorrow when your friend is doing good.

Yeah, no kidding. She was a "delightful" person.

Claire, I agree that if this is the second time she's done this you need to set her straight. No need to be nasty about it, but don't be surprised when she acts like you've committed a personal attack on her. She sounds a little...."privileged," shall we say.

Just remember that if you get a reputation as the "cheap cake lady," it will be much harder down the road to raise your prices to what they should have been in the first place.

I do agree that this friend is trying to dictate your business some what. It also gives her some power over you (getting discounts for people she knows) and her other friends by getting them a "cheap" cake.

Push overs do not get very far. Now I'm not saying to be nasty, but stand up for yourself. If this woman did it once to you before, you need to have a conversation with her. IMO not an email one either. Although, I do like the idea of an email where you list step by step the process of making a cake so that she knows you don't have a magic wand in your kitchen.

I had made a massive castle cake for my son. It took hours upon hours as it was very detailed. A friend who has a son who is a Harry Potter Fan asked about the cake. I explained how long and involved this cake and she realized what she was asking for was too much (time and money).

This person really has a lot of nerve to tell her friends that.

Good luck getting this worked out, you'll feel much better after you've set her straight.

Is there such a thing as a

Cake Pimp?

Is there such a thing as a

Cake Pimp?

Oh my god! I used to have a *ahem* "friend" like that.
I was her friend for seven years in school.
She was always out to get what she could, and when birthdays and christmas used to come I used to spend quite a bit of money on her presents (well seemed like a lot of money at the time, because I was a school girl) and she used to give me stuff from charity shops and stuff from her house she didn't want! (and she was never low on money!)

When I left school I suddenly realised what she and my other friends really were!...........I saw them for what they really were, when on the last day of school they all went home early and left me on my own.....

Its been maybe.... 4 years since I've seen any of them, and recently three of them emailed me asking for a reconciliation!

I ignored the emails, but I would have loved to have sent some back and told them what I thought of them!

Ditching them was the best thing I EVER did!

I'm with the others. I am doubting she is a real friend. It almost sounds like she is trying to sabotage your business efforts. She sets you up to disappoint potential 'customers'. Not only is she doing this but because of it, they won't give you a fair try because they've had what they consider a bad experience. They are also a source of negative word of mouth reviews.

I think a direct, but calm and matter of fact, confrontation is in order. If she persists then I would explain to any friends that she refers that the 'discount' is that the difference is paid by their 'good' friend....since she is so fond of offering deals!

ps-she isn't a friend

You know, it's occured to me that your basis for having this discussion with her is not you not affording to give discounts - it's the PRINCIPLE of it. Prices on work you have done, in your business, under your name should be decided by you. Period. What you can and cannot afford is irrelevant. It's about boundaries and respect.

I know just about every post has said this, but I can't let it go. If you have already spoken to her and she pushed back and got pig headed about it instead of realizing she was wrong and backing off - she doesn't have your best interests at heart. Friendship is a two way street... I don't buy that she is trying to help by referring people to you. If she was, she'd have backed off, she wouldn't denigrate your work and say it's not all that and she could almost do it herself etc and she certainly wouldn't take sides with her other friend regarding um, your prices! See the pattern?

THis post just makes me want to pull my hair out. I don't care if you aren't a confrontational person. That's fine. But don't let someone walk all over you. If you want anyone to treat you with respect then you need to have self-respect.

This woman is NOT your friend. I don't care how long you have known her. If she is calling you up and telling you to give her friends a discount...please.

I'm sorry sweetie but you really do need to grow a pair. Starting now. If this a hobby fine. But if you are doing this as a business and you want to stay in business then either make your limits very clear and stick up for yourself with everyone or be prepared to lose a lot of money and become disillusioned with cake decorating.

If you can't stomach a phone call then send this woman a text or an email but you need to deal with this now. Tell her that while you appreciate her trying to get you some business you will NOT be giving her friends discounts. Your pricing is the same for everyone and you will not longer be able to give her a discount either.

And if you lose her business or her "friendship"...you aren't actually losing something if you never really had it in the first place.