I have been reading all the comments and you really helped me see one thing I hadn't thought of before: maybe indeed my offer was inappropriate because of our distant relationship. I never thought of the fact that if I make her cake, then she has to invite me to her wedding too. And to be honest, she would never invite me to her wedding, without the wedding cake thing. I figure that must be it!
No, your offer was NOT inappropriate! Maybe unexpected, obviously unappreciated, but by no stretch of the imagination inappropriate. Your offer was worth hundreds of dollars. I would happily add someone to the guest list who was so kind that they wanted to give me such a generous gift, especially considering how incredibly talented you are (assuming of course that there wasn't a past... perhaps with someone else they believe is close to you... that caused some sort of REALLY strong negative feelings or wariness about you sabotaging the wedding by making something awful).
And like everyone else has said, even if they didn't want to accept your generous offer, there were so many ways in which they could have declined nicely that the manner in which they turned you down is appalling.
Oh, OK...I totally know why the cousin said what she said...she's NUTS! Completely nuts!!!
I can understand if she had a favorite cake designer already in mind to do her cake, and if that's the case she should have the cake designer she wants, but for her to say your cakes aren't professional??? I'll say it again...N-U-T-S!!!
I didn't have time to read all the posts...
but she's seriously has issues. You have gorgeous cakes!
So good, you have better uses of your time anyway.
Go and buy some shabby towels and be done with her gift.
Your cakes are not only very professional and gorgeous but your offer was way too generous - her loss. She probably thinks she can save $50 on dinner to not invite you and doesn't realize you are offering her a $1000 cake
She's going to find out soon enough
Are you sure that your cousin looked at the right website? I would be thrilled to have you make a cake for me. She must want a plain, drab cake. Your cakes are professional, lively and exciting. Oh well, her lost.
Like everyone here, I think your cakes are great and she is wasting her money! There is no excuse for replying to your offer in such a rude way!
One thing does remind me of a situation once (this was completely different situation though). One of my friends was getting married. The mother of a friend of a bride told the bride she was making the wedding cake for her wedding present. (The mother owned a successful cake business.) She never offered or asked, but basically told the bride she would be making the cake. The bride wanted to get the cake from her favorite bakery. It caused a lot of drama. The mother of the friend was mad and refused to go to the wedding.
Just curious if you actually responded to her email already?
It's killing me wanting to know what was running through her mind when she responded rudely! 
Did she feel insulted that you thought she couldn't afford a cake?
Did she think you invited yourself by bringing a wedding cake?
Did she not realize how much a wedding cake truly cost? Definitely not. 
I forgot already how you find out about this wedding. Would that info come into play at all? Is she thinking "how in the world did you expect me to invite you to my wedding when we haven't seen each other in a decade and then offer to bring me THE cake?"
I can't wrap my mind around telling you that they prefer professional looking cakes!!! Surely they were looking at the colorful topsy turvy and assuming you would make them a party cake and not a wedding cake?
Very, very strange. 
To each is own. I think it's rude to call this relative "rude" just because she politely declined your offer. Maybe she has a close friend that is a cake decorator, you don't know - just because you're family (distant none the less) doesn't mean your instantly entitled to make the cake. She has her own opinions and it's her day - cut the relative some slack. She deserves to have her idea of her perfect wedding cake and if it's not made by you, you have no reason to get your panties in a bunch.
Just curious if you actually responded to her email already?
I haven't sent a reply yet. I am not really sure what to write. And well, I don't want to 'discuss' the whole thing with her, you know. If she doesn't want it, well so be it. I just would have preferred a nicer 'no', though. Her tone in the e-mail message just hit a nerve with me. I will send her a reply tomorrow morning 
I agree w/ Sagebrush. Your offer in no way seems inappropriate. Perhaps if it was worded, "I am giving this to you as my wedding gift", instead of simply making the offer, it made her feel like you assumed it was a done deal. Stefy is right that family is not obligated to use you. Your post doesn't indicate to me that your issue was with her decline, but in its rude delivery. A simple, "Thank you, but we've already made other arrangements.", would have been sufficient. Get your panties in a bunch and then let it go. She's not worth the grief you're causing yourself by worrying about it.
To each is own. I think it's rude to call this relative "rude" just because she politely declined your offer. Maybe she has a close friend that is a cake decorator, you don't know - just because you're family (distant none the less) doesn't mean your instantly entitled to make the cake. She has her own opinions and it's her day - cut the relative some slack. She deserves to have her idea of her perfect wedding cake and if it's not made by you, you have no reason to get your panties in a bunch.
Hi Stefy,
Well, I never called her rude, but I don't think she turned the offer down 'politely'. And of course she deserves her idea of a perfect wedding cake.
Wooooah! You guys are way too harsh - poor bride! This is simple. See it from your cousins point of view - here you are on YOUR big day and everyone turns up and starts talking about your awesome cake and nobody pays a single bit of attention to you because your cake is THE centreof the show (well with your talent it's gonna be and if you are there receiving plaudits then that just rubs salt into the wound) no no no way! Let's just get a nice professional cake from walmart then bride is the centre of attention and normality is restored. Silly girl - would you like to be my cousin instead id even get married again just to receive one of your cakes laugh this one off shes not worth the stress and justbe glad you were raised with better manners and decorum than she was.
X
Haven't read the whole thread, but just wanted to say that your cakes are awesome & very professional! Maybe she wants a particular style that's not on your website. I think a lot of people have no idea that a new design can be made that's not pictured in a portfolio.
You may have caught her off guard with your offer, and out of awkwardness, she was rude. Some people just can't interact socially. I'm also thinking that you may not have been on the guest list.
It's her loss! If she decides to ask you to do it for her later, please be booked!
First of all, your website and your cakes are wonderful! After looking at your website, I came to the same conclusion as Amanda - it's not that she doesn't think your cakes are not profesionall looking enough, it is that she was not planning on inviting you to the wedding because, as you said, you are distant relatives and accepting your offer would mean having to invite you and the rest of your family. That said, I can understand her not wanting to invite folks she hasn't communicated with in a while, BUT I think she could have come up with a better excuse than your cakes were not professional looking enough. She could have just said, "thank you, but we have already ordered and paid for our cake" or some other excuse. Or, hey, why not trying being honest and saying, "thanks so much for the kind offer, but to be honest, we were not planning to invite distant relatives" - may not be such a great thing to say, but in the end everyone could have respected her reasoning and her honest.
To each is own. I think it's rude to call this relative "rude" just because she politely declined your offer. Maybe she has a close friend that is a cake decorator, you don't know - just because you're family (distant none the less) doesn't mean your instantly entitled to make the cake. She has her own opinions and it's her day - cut the relative some slack. She deserves to have her idea of her perfect wedding cake and if it's not made by you, you have no reason to get your panties in a bunch.
It doesn't sound like the bride "politely" declined the offer. A polite decline would have been "Thank you very much for the offer, but we already have plans to go with another bakery. Thank you once again for your offer" as opposed to the brides response of indicating that mireillea's cake is not professional looking. Also I don't get the tone that mireillea feels entitled to make the cake. She was just taken back on the brides response to her offer to make the cake.
To each is own. I think it's rude to call this relative "rude" just because she politely declined your offer. Maybe she has a close friend that is a cake decorator, you don't know - just because you're family (distant none the less) doesn't mean your instantly entitled to make the cake. She has her own opinions and it's her day - cut the relative some slack. She deserves to have her idea of her perfect wedding cake and if it's not made by you, you have no reason to get your panties in a bunch.
It doesn't sound like the bride "politely" declined the offer. A polite decline would have been "Thank you very much for the offer, but we already have plans to go with another bakery. Thank you once again for your offer" as opposed to the brides response of indicating that mireillea's cake is not professional looking. Also I don't get the tone that mireillea feels entitled to make the cake. She was just taken back on the brides response to her offer to make the cake.
Mayo... that's exactly what I was thinking... from beginning to end.
Bless your heart, don't take it personal it's definitely their loss. Your cakes are wonderful. I only hope to be that good one day. Just remember, when she finds out how much her wedding cake is going to cost, and comes crawling back, that you are so sorry you can't do her's you are totally BOOKED. Not professional enough HA
What?! You have got to be kidding! Be glad you're not doing it-- they're rude and have a screw loose!
She doesn't deserve your cakes!!! 
How rude can people be anyway?! Just when I think I've seen or heard about the worst story of ungraciousness, someone comes and lowers that bar even more! 
God don't like dirty!! But God and us sure like your cakes!! 
I don't know. I'm socially awkward ummmm.... most of the time. LOL
This was sent via email, correct?
She had time to word it in a nice way. She chose not to. There's caught off guard in a phone call and caught off guard in an email. She had time to consider her words and those are the ones she chose.
Sounds like a lot has changed with her over the past ten years. Be glad you know now so she doesn't take up space in your head anymore.
Hi guys!
I just sent her a reply. I basically said that I was sorry that my cakes didn't appeal to her . That I wish her luck with her dreamcake and that I, of course, would love to know what her final cake will look like.
And I didn't forget to wish her a long and happily married life! 
Your cakes are lovely and unfortunately she has no taste evidently. Do not take it personally.
Just hope that you are not invited to the wedding and have to buy her a gift.
This person has very little tact in her response to your offer. She should have been flattered and it is truly her loss
Your cakes are fabulous and you should only make them for people who seek out and appreciate your talent.
I read the beginning page or two when this was first posted, and a few more since but never commented. I agree with the rest that your cakes are very very lovely and you offered a wonderful gift. The wording of the email WAS rude.
But wanted to add that you should be prepared though...they may just be at the beginning of the planning - they'll shop around, get sticker shock and email you back (at a date very close to the wedding) with a sticky sweet email..."What were we thinking. We'd love to accept your kind offer of a free cake. We'd like 8 tiers, gobs of flowers, a fountain, lights and live birds".
Prepare to be busy that week!
I can't believe she said that. Your cakes are beautiful. She doesn't have class or taste
I expected to look at your work and say "oh yeah, her cousin was right" but NO WAY! Your work is past professional - you are kick a%$ awesome!
Hi guys!
I just sent her a reply. I basically said that I was sorry that my cakes didn't appeal to her . That I wish her luck with her dreamcake and that I, of course, would love to know what her final cake will look like.
And I didn't forget to wish her a long and happily married life!
A TRUE CLASS ACT -- both she and her cakes!
I think it's rude to call this relative "rude" just because she politely declined your offer.
Stefy, did you READ the cousin's response, seriously?
"but after looking at the cakes on my website, they decided to decline my offer because they prefer a professional looking wedding cake". How is that not rude?
I'm with Doug - total class act!
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