That they have to follow the rules? I only make cakes for friends and family for the cost of ingredients. I tell everyone that they have two choices. They can buy the ingredients themselves (from a list I make), or they can give me money to buy the ingredients. Either way, I must have either the money or the ingredients two weeks before the cake is needed. I had to start doing that because everyone would want to wait until the night before to drop off the stuff, and, as you all know, this is a multi-day process.

So, a month ago my SIL asks me to make a cake for her mother's birthday. I agreed and told her my policy. She said she'd send the money to me within a week. Well, fast forward one month and still no money. I sent her a message reminding her of my policy. She rights back that she's been busy and was sick for a few days, so she couldn't get the money from her family. She says she'll send it by next Monday. I reply that the money is due by Saturday, not Monday.

Now, I'm getting pressure for being mean to family. Ummmmm, no! I'm sticking to my policy because if I break for one person everyone will do the same thing. It's just so annoying.

Oh, and it's not like she's been fun to work with so far anyway. I asked what flavor cake. She said "wedding cake." I asked if she meant a flavored white cake. She replied, "I don't know, just whatever they serve at weddings." Maybe it's for the best that this is falling through.

From the sounds off, you're much better off if she doesn't send the money. I wouldn't be sending her any reminders if she's already a pain

Here we go ... the every popular one-way street when it comes to family.

YOU are being "mean" for asking them to get you what you need when you need it, but for some reason THEY are not being "mean" for taking advantage of you and imposing on you by not getting you what you need when you need it .... to do basically a FREE cake for THEM.

family are the WORST when it comes to this. It amazes me every single time ... as much as it shouldn't, it just freakin' amazes me.

Debi's philosophy? "Allow me to bend over to make it easier for you to take a flyin' kiss at my big 'ole behind!"

deb.. you're my hero !!!!

family are always the worst...is there some kind of rule that says..oh she bakes lets make her our cake slave...chained to the oven we are.. and usually for just pennies a slice...

also...what is it with family that they ALWAYS complain about something on the cake and say..I could have done that... (THEN WHY DIDNT THEY) !!

okay done venting.. can you tell my sisters wedding cake is due in 3 weeks !!!

That is annoying!

I only offer to do cakes I have time for. I do it completely free though so I often count it as my gift. Thankfully I don't have a lot of family nearby, but boy some of my friends are in the "You have to wait until I have time" column. But I may have to use your 2 week rule soon, it sounds like a good system.

I'm sorry you're having trouble with this, because caking should be more of a passion than a stress. It sounds like the family knows your rules though, so hopefully it should be on her head at the party. Good Luck!

Oh my if I could only count the times I made cakes for family and friends for the cost of ingredients without getting the money in advance! I NEVER got paid for most of them. Finally I started doing the cakes as gifts if someone asked me and only on my terms. I also learned how to say NO a lot! It was very liberating. Stick to your guns on this one!

I really hate when family do that!!! I think the problem is sometimes the cake shows. People watch the shows and they see cakes made in half an hour, so they think you can do magic too. People don't know what's behind the scenes. I'm a fan of cake shows, but sometimes people want a Duffs cake at a Wal-Mart price in half an hour.

This is why my friends and family cakes are gifts. If I feel like making and giving one to you as a gift, you get one. If not, Publix is down the street.

Let me tell you, I don't do cakes to my family-period!!!
When I first started i used to give them away for three reasons: one-so they can taste the cake and order from me, two-refer friends to me and three-I needed the practice and didn't like wasting ingredients and efforts. But not any more, they can get their cakes elsewhere. I don't even talk about cakes in any form when we see each other. They only get to see and eat my cakes when its one of my kids birthdays- where they come in and simply go gaga over it. If they dare to call- i am always too full even for one more order.

My sister always ask me to do her children's cakes. My nephew's birthday is April 9th and she called and ordered his cake at the end of February. AND she always pays me and insist on paying what anyone else would have to pay. Love my little sister

Here is a sort-of-related bad "family" cake story.
My brother was getting re-married after his first wife passed away and asked me to do the cake. I was going to do it for a discounted price. About 2 weeks before the wedding I find out that my ex-husband (nasty divorce) is the BEST MAN!! So I got my brother and future SIL on the phone and told them they would need to find another baker & WHY. My future SIL was under the impression that he had told me, so I know she chewed him out too!! I am STILL proud of myself for not taking that-and our relationship is much better for it!

Lol my family is the same way. I am like you I have them get the ingredients or give me money. I had one aunt that wanted a cake and she says oh I need something small and simple to take to my bday party to feed 50 people so can you just make something that wouldn't cost you anything to make. (Which means she didn't plan on paying for the stuff to make the cake). So I took a piece of paper and drew a pic of a cake and gave it to her and said this is they only type of cake I can make that doesn't cost anything to make...lol. I swear what is with some people if you ask a stupid question you will get a stupid response...lol

LePetit, Congrats for sticking to your policy. You are NOT mean, she is RUDE. Argh, family - well some of them anyway. For me, the ones that don't expect anything are the ones I want to pull out all the stops for (like my dad).

HAHAHAHAHA!!!! I have tears-LOL!!!
Cake_Newbie that was hilarious!!! I can't stop laughing!!!
You would think that your family would be the first to help you make a living out of this. But noooooooooo!!! They would rather pay someone else!

Thanks everyone. Y'all made me giggle. At least I'm not the only one who has to deal with this junk.

That being said, the Friday deadline is now two days past, so I will NOT be making that cake. Best part is, she actually went out of town this weekend to go out with some friends. This is the same woman who was too sick to bring me the money on Friday. I am seriously glad this feel through. I just know it would have ended up ugly (the situation, not the cake.)

i am guilty for faking a fullbooking, especially whenit comes to situations like these. when its a gift, don't tell me what you want or expect, you'll get what i am able to sqeeze in, that is often the case, the last minute "i know you're really busy, but i ......" when family and friends have to many expectations for a free cake and i can tell it's going to be a pain, i simply say "i can't wish, i could though" and that's that.

love the post cake_newbie1111 HAHAHAHA

THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE "I CAN'T, BUT WISH I COULD THOUGH" MY BAD

Reading these makes me love my family - they don't expect anything and are happy with whatever I make! And if I don't want to make something it's fine with them too

A quick update:

It did get ugly. My sil proceeded to tell everyone her side of the story, which, of course, was not what really happened. She then proceeded to make her own version of the cake. She's never taken any lessons, so it was bad. She didn't know to level the layers. Used canned icing and couldn't get it smooth. And had to pinch the bottom of the fondant, because she didn't know how to stretch the fondant.

So, I have become the person who destroyed the party, which I was not invited too.

For those with great in-laws, cherish them. For those with not so great ones, I feel your pain.

However, one good thing came out of the situation. My sil is starting Wilton class 1 tonight. I actually think she'll do very well, as she is very creative.

I take that back. Two good things happened. The other order I took went wonderfully! The cake was beautiful.

I was ask by a friend ( who is like a family member) to make a baby shower cake. Very specific design and flavor. Pink lemonaide cake with lemonaide flavor buttercream. 14" cake - 3 layers, completly decorated. This person offered to buy me some butter! WHAT THE H#@@!
Oh and then to top it off, they ask it they could also borow my silver cake stand. I was dumb founded. I'm like well is the cake fairy gonna buy the rest of the ingredients cause they don't give them away at Walmart !

I had told my niece I would make her wedding cake....as my gift to her. OK, fairly plain, countryish, no problem. Now it has blossomed into carrot cake and cheesecakes to feed 250 and two more cheesecakes for the rehearsal dinner!! Plus I live in southwest Colorado and the wedding is in Montana. What have I done!

I don't do/give or bake any cakes for free for family unless I decide to take it to the function or offer to make it as a gift!! They pay the same price as everyone else...No problems..no family issues!! That simple.

Recently a friend (Friend 1) called me about a cake for a baby shower for a mutual friend (friend 2). So i had given friend 1 a free birthday cake last year of a recipe I was trying out that I actually decided never to use again because I didn't like it. So then she goes on about how the cake I gave her was one of the best she'd ever tasted etc. I highly doubted it because she's either had really bad cake all her life or she was buttering me up. So anyway she wanted me to do the cake for friend 2. I told her what she wanted wouldn't cost anything less than $100. (She wanted the mod-mom theme, with a bouquet of flowers, a huge cake with serving sizes of 2"x2"x4" and 30 cupcakes with flowers on them). I've never done cupcakes so I would have to buy a pan and the size cake she wanted was bigger than the pans I had. So I said no less than $100 and she said she'd give me time to think. A week later I had "thought" and it hadn't come down so she said mine was too expensive and ended up ordering a huge sheet cake instead from a bakery.

I'm just starting out so every cake I make, I try and do something different with it so I can learn. I asked my mom if she liked lemon because I would like to try a lemon cake and I would give it to her for her birthday. She then started telling me all of these things she wanted me to do to her cake. It wasn't like it was for a party. I was just giving it to her to take home and enjoy and she knows I consider these practice cakes. Family.....ugh!

Hi my sister is a little the same, she has asked me to do her best friend a birthday cake which was fine as shes also one of my good friends as well....... it then went to a 3 layer topsy turvy in a "rock chick style" but couldnt give me a clear idea what that meant? and offered to buy the ingredients which shouldnt be more than £40 right? eeerrrr yeah it will and what about boards, fondant, gas , electric.
Sorry can u tell i'm a little peeveed lol x