Crazy Relatives, Vent

Lounge By CakesByJen2 Updated 23 Feb 2010 , 4:11pm by ccr03

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CakesByJen2 Posted 20 Feb 2010 , 4:03am
post #1 of 20

This is the first time I've really had to deal with a close relative acting totally irrational and stupid.

It all started on Facebook. In a post on my page a couple of weeks ago, answering a post from my sis, I mentioned something about our cat. My brother then decides to make some stupid, anti-cat comments. May be he thought he was being funny, but it just came across as stupid and kinda crazy, and I didn't want other people seeing that crap on my page, so I just deleted it. Well then, he posts about half a dozen more, filling my page. So, of course I deleted that to. Didn't respond, just deleted.

Well, evidently that made him mad, and a week later he posts a nasty comment on my page about how I think I know everything, and don't tolerate other peoples opinions, etc. So, I deleted that too, and changed my privacy settings where he couldn't see everything on my page, so he'd have nothing to comment on, stopping short of defriending him. Well, that made him even madder, so he defriends me, but then goes to my sister's page and writes a post bashing me on her wall, so I'll be sure to see it. thumbsdown.gif

Good lord, this is such high-school girl behavior! Oh, and he is 40 years old and has nothing better to do that spend all his time playing games on Facebook. icon_eek.gif

19 replies
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Mrs-A Posted 20 Feb 2010 , 4:45am
post #2 of 20

i hate facebook, it seems to cause so many problems

pick up the phone and talk to your brother - before this stupidity causes a huge rift

hope you feel better after your vent and goodluck!

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yummy Posted 20 Feb 2010 , 4:49am
post #3 of 20

You're not alone in the ignorant family member club. My mother, brother, niece and daughter are absolutely riduculous with their sh#%!!

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CakesByJen2 Posted 20 Feb 2010 , 5:01am
post #4 of 20

I've been on FB for a year, and this is the first time I've had a problem. I originally got on to see what it was like before deciding whether or not to let my daughter have a page, and then to monitor her. Then I reconnected with high school classmates, and we ended up organizing a very nice 25 year reunion, that otherwise wouldn't have happened, and use it to keep up with a few other new and old friends, so it can be useful.

This stuff with my brother came totally out of nowhere, completely unprovoked. He is extremely immature and never takes any responsibility for his actions or his part in any problem. He's a bit paranoid, too. Our father's the same way, so I guess he got it from him. There was a similar incident with my daughter in the fall when he posted a snotty comment on her page because he was evidently miffed that she didn't invite him to her birthday party (she didn't have one, which he knew but I guess didn't believe). Then he defriended her, too. (What teenaged girl wants her crazy uncle on her FB page anyway, LOL).

There's no point talking to him, he's too irrational and immature to deal with like an adult. Its probably best to just avoid him for a while and let it blow over...

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mrspriss0912 Posted 20 Feb 2010 , 3:09pm
post #5 of 20

Sorry for your delima..... I hope you are right just let him cool off for a while. Facebook and my space can be a fun thing when used right but they can also be very damaging I dont think people really understand that typing something out dosent show emotion and leaves much room for missinterpertation. Keep your chin up icon_rolleyes.gif

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Deb_ Posted 20 Feb 2010 , 3:23pm
post #6 of 20

ugh that stinks and I know how you feel.

I had a niece "de-friend" me last year because I called her out for a false comment she made on MY page. She's 35 and should know better.

FB can be a great place to reconnect with old friends, but I find that you have to be so careful of what you say or do on there because it can be interpreted in the wrong way.

If you think it's better to just let it blow over for a while then maybe that's the best thing to do. It doesn't sound like your brother is open to conversation and it may just upset you further.

Good luck!

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CakesByJen2 Posted 20 Feb 2010 , 4:06pm
post #7 of 20

It's just ironic, the reason I was hesitant about letting my daughter have a page, and monitor who she friends and what is said, is because I know this kind of thing goes on all the time with the tween & teen set. But in the year we've both been using FB, my middle-aged brother is the only person to ever post anything stupid, mean, or inappropriate icon_rolleyes.gif

I'm not upset, just really annoyed & aggrevated, and simply disgusted with his immaturity and stupidity. I'm just tired of dealing with his immaturity. This is the same brother I've mentioned before that fights with the little nieces & nephews over their toys, and teases them to the point that none of them really like him anymore.

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LaBellaFlor Posted 20 Feb 2010 , 4:31pm
post #8 of 20

icon_lol.gificon_cry.gificon_lol.gificon_cry.gificon_lol.gificon_cry.gificon_lol.gificon_cry.gificon_lol.gificon_cry.gificon_lol.gificon_cry.gificon_lol.gificon_cry.gif You got to be fricken kidding me when you say he is 40!!!!!!!!!!!!
I think he needs to be told he's 40. He may have forgotten.

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prterrell Posted 20 Feb 2010 , 11:06pm
post #9 of 20

Don't feed the drama llama!

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costumeczar Posted 20 Feb 2010 , 11:08pm
post #10 of 20

The problem isn't facebook, it's morons who use facebook as their little platform to make their moronic comments public. I use my facebook business page more than my personal page, but I've never had any problem with it.

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CakesByJen2 Posted 21 Feb 2010 , 4:26am
post #11 of 20

OMG, it gets worse! A cousin who I haven't had any contact with in 25 years had commented on my brother's crazy post, and I had a feeling he had probably continued his bashing on her page. I know I shouldn't have looked, but I did, and she is stupid enough to have her page open for the world to see, which I'm sure he didn't realize.

So they go on the long tirade back and forth about how I have a superiority complex, think I'm Martha Stewart, etc. Then, they go on to bash my parenting about how I never let my kids do anything, go anywhere, just be kids, etc! Now, this is coming from my brother who has no wife or kids, and my trashy cousin who has 3 kids by 3 different men, and who has never seen my kids and knows nothing about me, yet is commenting on my parenting!

It also becomes apparent that my father has been going to them complaining about how I never "let" them see their grandkids and never let the kids do anything. Now, we live 15 minutes away and my parents are welcome anytime, but they don't ever bother to see them. He also complained about me having everyone over for Thanksgiving, then "resenting them for showing up". I don't know where the hell that come from, but guess who will NOT be invited this year!

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Deb_ Posted 21 Feb 2010 , 2:23pm
post #12 of 20

ughhh Jen that's a shame. I know it bothers you because it would bother me too.

I would just TRY to ignore them and make all of your stuff private except to your friends.

They want to get a reaction from you but I wouldn't give them the satisfaction of knowing that this is bothering you.

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artscallion Posted 21 Feb 2010 , 2:57pm
post #13 of 20

I'd been on facebook for years with no problem. It lets me connect with old friends, keep in contact with acquaintances, etc. Then about a month ago, my sister joined...great, now I can keep in touch with her without having to spend an hour on the phone. Then her kids join, then by aunt, then my brother and two cousins who had been on discovered that I was on...Suddenly, my entire family is on my facebook page.

At first it was okay. But then I started to notice that my whole family dynamic had taken over my page. My brother & sister started making snipes about how my mother always favored SIL started with little nagging/joke comments about how we're sooo busy all the time, etc., etc. All those itchy little things that you accept at the family gathering seem overwhelmingly intrusive when laid out for your friends and the world to witness. Plus it made it seem like I was at a family gathering every day, and that's way too much family for me.

So, I just up and unfriended every last one of them...Boom! Kicked to the facebook curb. They can post nasty things about me all they want on each others' pages. I won't see it because I'm can no longer see any of their pages. Now I can happily enjoy the witty banter and love of my friends again. There are some places in my life that family just does not belong. And facebook is one of them.

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costumeczar Posted 21 Feb 2010 , 2:59pm
post #14 of 20

Wow, how stupid are people? Personally, I'd call them all up one by one and ask them what their problems with you are. Depending on their stupidity level, they'll either shut up, or go back on facebook and complain some more. If you know that they're this way, you also don't have to deal with them. I have some doozies in my family (don't we all) but I don't bother messing with them. Just because you're related to someone by accident of biology doesn't mean that you're obligated to endure them in person.

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Deb_ Posted 21 Feb 2010 , 3:00pm
post #15 of 20
Originally Posted by artscallion

There are some places in my life that family just does not belong. And facebook is one of them.

Cake Central is another one of them! icon_wink.gif

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Mike1394 Posted 21 Feb 2010 , 3:09pm
post #16 of 20

Just because they are family doesn't mean you can't write them off, and live happily ever after.


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mkolmar Posted 21 Feb 2010 , 7:00pm
post #17 of 20

Ditto to what Mike said. I've wrote off some relatives and my life is sooooo much easier because of it.

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prterrell Posted 22 Feb 2010 , 2:33am
post #18 of 20

And this is why I refuse to join Facebook, Myspace, or any of the other social networking sites.

I've got Cake Central--What more could a girl need?

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CakesByJen2 Posted 23 Feb 2010 , 3:38pm
post #19 of 20

Artscalllion, you are so right! I never really wanted my brother on my Facebook to begin with, but didn't know how to reject his friend request without starting the same kind of thing that ended up happening anyway. How did you handle de-friending all your relatives? Any fallout?

Believe or not, I just got 2 friend requests from two other cousins, sister of the one that was trashing me with my brother. I'm trying to decide whether to simply ignore them, or send them a brief message saying that I've found family & FB don't mix.

We've decided to cut my brother out of our lives completely. My husband never liked the way he behaved to begin with, and after reading his irrational comments, does not want him anywhere near our kids. I'm also furious with my father for gossiping about me to his trashy relatives, and telling such total fabrications, so he's out, too, unless he is willing to apologize profusely and call up every one of the people he's gossiped to and tell them he was lying.

My mom is unfortunately going to be put in the middle, but I'm tired of putting up with their nonsense, and everyone making excuses for my brother. At some point, it's time to grow up and take responsibility for your life! I had the same crappy childhood he did, and I chose to rise above it and make something of myself, not wallow in it.

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ccr03 Posted 23 Feb 2010 , 4:11pm
post #20 of 20

Yeah, FB can be werid sometimes. I have a friend that we get along GREAT and joke around alot dumb stuff. She'll crack on me and vice versa. But we really do love each other.
Once day we went back and forth for a while on FB messing with each other. Then after reading it all, we commented to each other that if others read it & don't know how we get along they will think we are serious.

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