Has Your Kindness Ever Bit You In The Butt??
Decorating By rnt96 Updated 10 Oct 2009 , 10:17pm by Lita829
I've done wedding cakes for friends on 2 occasions. The first one was a 3 tier white with buttercream and a chocolate grooms cake. I hadn't decorated in 5 yrs so I'm not sure what possessed me to volunteer to take on this task 
. Needless to say I missed the wedding and arrived right before the outdoor reception. To me it looked like crap, it was not level and the basketweave had to much space. Everyone liked it and it did taste good. The only thing that irked me is she didn't eat any. She had lost a lot of weight and was still dieting; whatever. She does enlist me to make cakes for her now and pays .
The 2nd one was earlier this year and it was 4 tiers. This was my friend's 2nd wedding and she was being laid off so she was on a budget. She enlisted the help of several of her friends. She knew the cake was going to be a big task so she pretty much left it up to me what to do and didn't want me stressing out. She was very appreciative of all of us and had thank you cards for each of us the day of the wedding. Plus she gave us one of the cottages so we could stay overnight.
Most of the cakes I do are gifts. I make cakes for my coworkers for their birthdays. I plan showers for coworkers and make the cakes and food. I do the cake for friend's baby showers. All because I want to and I can't really say I've had any bad experiences. Maybe I'm fortunate to have good friends and coworkers. I do work pretty much with all men so maybe they aren't as picky 
.
Things often go wrong when we jump up and offer our services as a gift and expect something in return (usually graditude, right?), but a real gift is just that, a gift. Did the person ask you for this favor? Then you are more than justified in feeling slighted if there isn't appreciation, but sometimes a person on the receiving end really doesn't understand how much of you is involved in your gift and would have been happy with much less. Only offer when it is totally from your heart and you don't require gratitude then you will always be rewarded (if only by your own satisfaction).
I don't think there is anything wrong with expecting a little gratitude. Whether it's a favor for a friend or a service provided to a customer, saying 'thank you' is showing gratitude and it should always be given by the recipient--it's common courtesy, which unforunately in today's society has seemed to disappear.
I think it's unfortunate that people are trying to convince others not to need or expect gratitiude rather than trying to teach the insensitive, rude jerks of the world to be grateful. Now, if your idea of gratitude is more gushing praise of every little detail, then maybe the advice not to expect it is correct but from what I've gathered from a lot of people on this site is that most of the time, people don't even say thank you for doing 'xyz' and just immediately start griping, complaining and whining. I honestly think if more people called out these rude people on a regular basis for their atrocious behavior, they would either start to get a clue and change or be made to feel very uncomfortable expressing their nastiness publicly. Either way, the nicer people win. Haha!
I've been bit there before too! One thing I always try to tell myself is something someone once shared with me: "If you do something for someone, and then resent it, the deed doesn't count" I remind myself that doing something for someone else is about me being kind to them and not contigent on their response. Not always the easy thing to do, but keeps my perspective in check. I know I don't have to do the good deed, so if I do, it better be because I want to and not for any reward (because sometimes, the reward is insulting and rude behavior)
Or, like my daughter says "Some people are just jerks no matter how nice you are to them." That's perspective too! 
let me tell you my butt has been sore for a while now!!!! my best friend is a pain in my butt!!!! i was the only person in the bridal party so i threw the shower she was going to get married in vagas but then changed it to something localand moved up the date at this point i had already booked the place and bought all the personalized vagas theme decorations so i went with what i had planned because i couldnt affond to change it!! and she kinda gave me that look of OMG really this is what she did vagas theme!! and then for her bachalorette which we did after her wedding while her hubby was in iraq( thinking it would cheer her up) she said no strippers!! so i rented 2 hotel suites bought booze and snacks and hired a personal massage theripest to come in and give everyone a 30 min message. and they could stay over and got spa gift bags i paid for everything and she was like i dont want a massage!!! and then all the other girls acted weird!!!!! well thanks for listening to me rant (it felt good) and i hope this makes you feel better about what ever your friend does or says. but im sure this wont happen to you not everyone cake be as B!tchy as my friend!!
You can be my friend anytime! People are so ungrateful!!! I wish someone would be so kind. Some people don't know what they have until its gone!
a friend said to me the other day ' Nice guys finish last? Nah, the nice guy won before the race even started '
ive been bit in the butt a few times, more than i care to go into detail, it still burns.
I will still help out on occasion for friends, But nothing major. Now i devout my time to more charitable help, The apreciation is ten fold, because it is REAL apreciation. I dont do it for the grafication, or the glory. but because i love doing the things i do, and seeing other people Smile for a little while who otherwise wouldnt makes it soooo much more worth it.
a friend said to me the other day ' Nice guys finish last? Nah, the nice guy won before the race even started '
ive been bit in the butt a few times, more than i care to go into detail, it still burns.
I will still help out on occasion for friends, But nothing major. Now i devout my time to more charitable help, The apreciation is ten fold, because it is REAL apreciation. I dont do it for the grafication, or the glory. but because i love doing the things i do, and seeing other people Smile for a little while who otherwise wouldnt makes it soooo much more worth it.
EXACTLY! Same here. That is why I do what I do for the organizations that I bake for. I couldn't have said it better myself, Caths_Cakes 
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