My mother is a hoarder sadly.
I dont mean a packrat, or messy, I mean she really IS a hoarder. It's very sad. And yes her hoarding for some reason also came along with a lot of filth.
We were always embarrassed to have people over as kids. I remember I let a girl from my bus stop who really needed to use the bathroom come into my house, and the next day at school, everyone was making jokes about how "dirty" our house was.
Sadly she still lives like that all by herself. It's not just one room, its the entire house. Its piled from floor to ceiling, literally. There is about a 1 foot wide walk way from the front door to every room in the house...kind of like a small path you follow. There is no surface to put ANYTHING on, except for a small space on the couch where she sits to watch Tv.
She has newspapers and pepsi cans that date back 15 years ago. And she refuses to get rid of any of it. If we also attemped to clean up (without throwing anything out even) She would completely freak out. I remember my dad once just got sick of it, and picked one of the garbage filled rooms and started throwing things out while we was away. When she came home...God. I remember thinking she was going to kill him.
It breaks my heart she insists on living that way. She also has no friends and all the neighborhood talks about her house. She also doesnt get why My husband and I stay in a motel when we visit and not her spare bedroom with the surface of the bed cleared off as a place for us to sleep.
I really do think it is a syndrome and she has no control over it or herself. She refuses to get help. Doesnt think she needs it. Its like she thinks its normal.

The saddest part is the "gifts" she gives me. Living in the middle east, she sends me care packages now and then. When I last went to visit her, she made me a suitcase filled with "gifts". It breaks my heart to say this, but I threw the whole suitcase away before leaving for the airport.
The suitcase was filled with: (keep in mind I would have to pay the airport extra for this suitcase): 2 ziplock bags of mcDonalds straws, 2 dentist mirrors, some mcdonalds toys unwrapped, some bibs from mcdonalds, some silverware she stole from restaurants, some chocolate molds that have never been used and instead of being clear they were brown and had mold growing on themyou get the idea. And she really felt like she was "PARTING" with these items!!

Hoarding really is a psychological problem, not just a bad habit. Clutter is a bad habit, hoarding isn't. The hoarders probably DON'T feel grateful when someone steps in and makes them throw their stuff away, because it provides some kind of mental security for them.

And I STILL haven't seen the show! I keep forgetting about it! I guess I could go look at the inside of my inlaws' refrigerator, which they've started to hoard food from the retirement home dining room in ...They don't have the same level of stuff they used to, but they're trying to junk up their new place just like they did in their house.

costume, the reason I so love this show is because they really dive into the psychology behind it...... trying to understand the person, the issues, the illness.

On a show I saw this weekend, I saw one organizer ask a woman "how do you feel because your children dont' come around becuase of this?" She said, "My kids aren't here, but my stuff is." That was so dramatic to me .... she really feels that her "stuff" is a replacement for any emotional attachment to her kids.

we are right now decluttering our home .... I have boxes everywhere, sorting things that go in the trash, to goodwill, to my sister's church, or to see if the kids want it. I don't think I'm a hoarder nor do I think I"m NEAR the point of having A&E cameras come to my house, but omg, this show is really motivating me. 20+ years of marriage and you do end up with a lot of "stuff". Time to clear it out and move on!!

(how DID we get so many freakin' coffee cups in this house? )

I watched the show last night for the first time,it was like crack ,I couldn't turn away.When it was over I got up and cleaned out the 3,yes 3,big junk drawers in my kitchen.I was shocked by what was in there,nothing belonged to me it was all my hubby stuff.His parent are hoarders.Nothing like the show but it was bad enough that my daughter didn't go over there until she was 1.I made my hubby watch the show and he yelled at me because his parents were nothing like that They literaly have mushrooms growing in the closet that's next to the tub because of the rot.Its really sad that people can live like this.But I have to say that it has made me get off my lazy arse and start cleaning,wel when I'm not on CC that is

That show is scary. My grandfather had a shed, under the house and a large garage filled to the tippy top with tools, left over materials and stuff. If you needed it he more then likely had it in some form or another. There was a winding path through the room. It was quite a challenge to find what was needed though. But as he saw things deteriorate and break he would throw it out. I don't think he was a hoarder but a a thrifty man who kept anything useful. Everyone would come to him before buying tools needed to fix something because he usually had it to lend out. I have his sewing machine he used and the dusty old tool smell brings back so many memories.

Hey Debi, I'll take all those coffee mugs.

I watched the one with the rotting produce and the one that was on last night where they actually found 2 dead (and flat) cats under all the garbage. The son is 28 and she still had toddler diapers in the house. This woman was unbelievable. They even found half of her false teeth but could not find the bottoms and she seemed pissed that they could not find the bottoms. I am not one of those people who keep an imaculate houe but I hate clutter. My kids know that they need to clean up after themselves and take pride in what they have and where they live. I just hate what the parents habits do to the kids. I too like the psychological side of the show.

So how do you get someone to stop being a pack rat or move their clutter? My MIL is definetly a pack rat! She has stuff just about every where. Her living room and den are failry clean, but not clutter free. The bedrooms, forget about it! She has so much cooking stuff...and doesn't even know how to cook or really even cooks. It's just her in a 3 bedroom rancher. EVERY closet, plus a couple of stand closets have clothes...with price tags on them. Shoes? So many that at one time they were stacked, lining the hall way. I tell my husband to talk to her about it, cause I am not going to be cleaning up that house when she passes. And that is not any time soon. She has decades to still collect stuff.

My grandmother and mother are hoarders. Not to the extreme that some of these cases on TV, but pretty bad. Luckily, they both have always had housekeepers, so the house was clean, just full of useless stuff that they think is worth something. Recently, my grandmother tried to give me my mom's old bras from the sixties. Mom's makeup from the sixties is still in the drawer in her makeup table, as are her old maxi pads that hook onto a belt. Their barn is full of old newspapers and God only knows what else. My grandmother uses these items to remember good times, if that makes any sense.

My mom is a totally different animal. She feels so worthless that she has to spend every penny she has on Frnaklin Mint collectibles, and other crap that will never be worth a dime. And she sends it to me, where it goes directly into the trash. Her barn is full of things she has bought and hidden from my daddy. Once, she cleaned her closet out and sent me thousands of dollars worth of clothes with the tags still on them. Expensive stuff from Nieman Marcus, Lilly Pulitzer, a $700 Roberto Cavalli gown, etc. I stopped counting at 30 pairs of pants. It was probably in excess of $10,000 in clothes that were the wrong size, out of style, and not my style. It's quite pathetic, because they are not rich people and don't have 2 dimes to rub together, and my dad has no clue what she is doing.

I must watch out for this show.

My sister was talking about it today, and wondering how serious her hoarding 'problem' is. The fact is she just likes to hang onto stuff, but her house is lovely and she certainly doesn't have a problem, but just seeing this show has made her clean out her fabric cupboard (anyone who quilts or sews has one, filled to the brim with bargain or gifted fabrics that one day will be made into something wonderful!) She said she can't throw the stuff away, but she is feeling able to give it to the thrift store. This is a big deal for her!!

(She did ask me before, that if she died, would I go in and clear it out so her husband wouldn't know how much she'd bought over the years!! )

Lol...yeah no kidding! But seriously, wouldn't it be great if it were that simple to change their lives for them like that?

Intervention is another difficullt one to watch. My DH went through a period of addiction to oxycontin after a difficult back surgery, and I identify with way too much on that show. Thank God, he's fully recovered from it now, but it was a purely hellish period for both of us. I told him straight up I'd never do it again. Chronic addiction goes way beyond "for better or for worse" in my book.

I AGREE! I've always told my husband,"Get an addiction, get a divorce"! My father was an addict all my childhood, so my tolerance, well let's just say there is none.

Yep, I figure I'm not obligated to care more about someone else's life than they do.

My husband was devastated to have gotten himself into the shape he was in, and by the way, his idiot doctor happily prescribed ALL of the oxy that he took. He just kept giving him more and more, and my husband was such a mess he just kept on taking it. He actually had to argue with the doctor to put him on a program to wean him off of it. It was truly the most horrible thing I've ever experienced.

I told him as long as he was actively working to fix it I was with him all the way, but that it was also a one-time-only offer. I'm not into co-dependency.

Yeah, I see that! I was wondering about that too...

All right - Have the two of you been naughty?

To whom are you reffering too? Costumzarina and Jaime?

Yes, I'm wondering what they did so they were surprised they could still log on...
...throw icing all over and not clean up?
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.
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Hmmm, the floor seemed a little sticky when I came in to the lounge...

I was asking Jaime why she was surprised that she could log on...As far as I know I haven't done anything naughty...recently...

We are moving my Mom out of a 4 bedroom 4 level split to a 2 bedroom apartment. I knew we would have a lot to get rid of but I am now thinking she is a hoarder (or at least getting there!) We took a 24 foot trailer worth of "garbage" out of her house so far. Its not just the amount of stuff (her house was big and had 1 spare room, a couple storage rooms and closets filled) but its the emotional attachment and depression with it. She did almost no packing and sobbed as we threw stuff out. A horrible situation that I really don't know how to deal with anymore because her complete lack of help and responsibility really p@*$ed me off. She quit her job a month ago because she couldn't work and pack but leaves EVERYTHING to my sister and I and our husbands. We all work full time, have kids and I do cakes (thank goodness I only have 1 this week!) and have to do all the packing and moving because she was supposed to be out by midnight last night - it is now extended until tonight because we got a snow storm and the roads were closed. My husband got home at 2 am this morning and had to be at work for 8 - she didn't even come into town and unload because she wasn't "feeling" well.

Sorry, that is my little rant about it - I am trying to be a supportive daughter (my parents divorced a couple years ago, she went through a severe depression and is giving up her dream house because she can't -or won't-take care of it.) I keep trying to tell myself that moving to the city is better for her, she is to start school in February and selling this house (which my Dad paid off for her) will help her financially.

Ok, thanks for letting me get that off my chest - I've only really let it out to my sister and my husband because it is kind of embarrassing. I'm kind of sick of being that adult and level headed one in our relationship - I haven't been able to actually rely on her for years now.

How old is your mom, Carson?
I ask because it seems as if she's reached the stage of life where she is getting sick and tired of it all. Everyone needs to be able to retire, but women never can.
After multiple decades of doing all the work around the house, I know how she feels...
- Screw it. If somebody wants it clean, they can darn well do it themselves. Everyone has better health than I do; and what is painful and slow for me, is able to be done easily and fast by the others.
As far as all the crap that had to be dug out and tossed... If it isn't cleaned to the walls every year or two it builds up because everything is shoved in closets to deal with later.

My Mom is only 49. She was a SAHM her whole life and now has trouble being motivated to work (or do anything for that matter.)

Its not that we are nagging her to keep a clean house (because she never did when I was a kid either), I am upset about her not helping herself move! Its a big (ok, huge) job that she doesn't want to tackle so she cries the whole day (all while making my pregnant sister do all the packing of her stuff while looking after 2 small children.) Then she is mad at me because my DH didn't want to go out there last night because of horrible road conditions. He'd have to take a company vehicle (big box van for moving because she didn't have the foresight to plan for anything else??) and risk getting into trouble with his job if he has an accident on the bad highways - let alone his life. So DH goes out there (the 1 hour normal driving time ends up being 2 1/2 hours one way because of the snow storm) then has the nerve to not come into the city and help at all because she is tired. She quit her job a month ago because you can't work full time and move...wtf??? I did it...Didn't have the luxury to quit my job or my kids wouldn't eat next month.

There is being fed up with cleaning then there is this! We found presents she bought for the kids 6 years ago that she couldn't find so bought new ones. Its the emotional attachment to this stuff that is making me think she is a hoarder...and the amount of useless crap she buys constantly. Does anyone really need 16 soup ladles?

my heart goes out to you.

She packed everything into cupboards, closets and even locked rooms so it didn't ever look as bad. She certainly didn't have just a small cleared passage around her house like the extreme on the show, but its just too much. I'm trying to see this as part of her already diagnosed depression and this is just the mental illness thing, but its really hard not to be angry with her. If she just didn't blame us for the occassional time we have to say no and didn't want everyone else to fix everything for her I could probably put up with the crying.

Carson, I feel your pain...Don't feel bad for being angry, it sounds like you're dealing with a lot and not feeling like your mom is being helpful or taking responsiblity for any of the mess.

Would it be helpful to hire an estate sale person like we did for my inlaws? You literally hire them and walk away from the house. They clean, organize and run the estate sale (it doesn't have to be valuables, either, just garage sale stuff is fine). They take their payment from the proceeds from the sale, so you probably don't end up paying them anything out of pocket.

I would have totally felt like you did if I'd had to clean out their house. It was the best thing we ever did to hire someone to do it.