Friends Sister In Law "nicley" Taking Over.....

Decorating By motherofgrace Updated 16 Aug 2009 , 7:13pm by motherofgrace

jimandmollie Cake Central Cake Decorator Profile
jimandmollie Posted 10 Aug 2009 , 12:34pm
post #61 of 111
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mensch

Geezy peezy. Why is everyone making a mountain out of a molehill?

The solution is just so simple:

1) Stop all communications with these people.
2) Make the pig cake anyway.
3) Bring said cake to luau party.
4) Watch gleefully while SIL embarrasses herself in some far-out way.




Couldn't agree more! thumbs_up.gif

JoJo0855 Cake Central Cake Decorator Profile
JoJo0855 Posted 10 Aug 2009 , 12:55pm
post #62 of 111

[quote]enjoy yourself and if possible try to spill something on SIL

Quote:
Quote:



Anne Marie, I like the way you think!

BTW, who brings chips, cheezies and pretzels to a Hawaiian party anyway?


Texas_Rose Cake Central Cake Decorator Profile
Texas_Rose Posted 10 Aug 2009 , 1:10pm
post #63 of 111
Quote:
Originally Posted by JoJo0855



BTW, who brings chips, cheezies and pretzels to a Hawaiian party anyway?




SIL needs that to soak up all the booze she's making everyone bring.

pianocat Cake Central Cake Decorator Profile
pianocat Posted 10 Aug 2009 , 1:29pm
post #64 of 111

Dear (sil)
I was asked by Jen to do a specific cake for her that SHE wants for HER BD luau. I promised her I would make it, and I will be doing that for my friend. I hope that you understand my obligation is not to anyone else but to give the birthday girl what SHE requested. All said and done the only problem that we will have is that we will lots of wonderful cake. Look forward to seeing you at Jen's party.

ajmccray Cake Central Cake Decorator Profile
ajmccray Posted 10 Aug 2009 , 1:35pm
post #65 of 111

I know others have said this but I want to reiterate, for a woman who is having post partum depression issues, you really need to either talk to her or just make the cake. I didn't have full blown post partum with my kids, but my hormones were enough out of whack that something like that would've ruined my birthday party. I know it sounds trivial but if I've asked someone to make a cake and helped plan it and then they didn't do it, I would be very hurt. I understand you don't want to make matters worse, but not bringing the cake she has been looking forward to may just do the very thing you're trying to avoid. Good luck!

Angela

tararenee29 Cake Central Cake Decorator Profile
tararenee29 Posted 10 Aug 2009 , 2:15pm
post #66 of 111

ok ive oly skimmed through the responses since i read this-

Im making Her the cake she loves the most its choc two layers with a nice center filling and cream cheese icing with the best choc in the world smothering it!!! I made it five years ago she loved it she always bugs me to make it for her so i always said for her 30th!!! the choc i buy is really expensive but worth it!

so maybe someone already said this, but if she loves Jen so much and is so worried about making her day special then the price of chocolate shouldn't be a problem , and how expensive is good chocolate anyways? and why wait 5 YEARS to make her a cake she's been asking for? that must be some good chocoloate that she had to take a 5 year loan out for it so she could make it again on her 30th bday.

Jen80 Cake Central Cake Decorator Profile
Jen80 Posted 10 Aug 2009 , 2:21pm
post #67 of 111

I really hope you change your mind about doing this cake.

She probably feels the same way you do about her SIL (might not be post-partum depression after all).

I wouldn't like it if somebody who I wasn't fond of planned my special day just to get the credit for it.

Not to put any focus on me but just to try to put things into perspective:
My SIL will visit for hours and the conversation is always about how wonderful she is. She rants and raves the whole time about how she does things better than anyone else. Words can't describe how badly up-herself she is. In the end I am so mentally exhausted that I just want to cry.


Then (if I'm lucky) my best friend turns up...............................................and all life is restored.




So, what I'm trying to say is, your cake might be the only thing about her party that will really make her happy.

Butterpatty Cake Central Cake Decorator Profile
Butterpatty Posted 10 Aug 2009 , 3:35pm
post #68 of 111

I, too, hope that you go ahead and make the cake. If I was your friend that had planned on this awesome cake for 2 months, I would be disappointed and hurt when it didn't show up. If you don't do the cake, she just may be holding onto hurt feelings because of thinking "she knew how much this meant to me; why didn't she just do it?"

Shelle_75 Cake Central Cake Decorator Profile
Shelle_75 Posted 10 Aug 2009 , 3:38pm
post #69 of 111

I have to chime in here and say that I agree with whoever said make the cake and try to spill something on what's her name at the party!

Life is too short to stress out THIS MUCH over a cake.

kilikina_24 Cake Central Cake Decorator Profile
kilikina_24 Posted 10 Aug 2009 , 4:45pm
post #70 of 111

I have to jump in too--PLEASE make this cake for your friend!! She asked you for this cake--that's all that matters. If her sis-in-law is always this controling (if all her in-laws are for that matter) this may be the one thing in this party she has control of. She asked for it, it's her birthday, give that girl her cake icon_wink.gif Have fun with her at her party!! Sounds like she needs a good friend!!!

Carolynlovescake Cake Central Cake Decorator Profile
Carolynlovescake Posted 10 Aug 2009 , 4:54pm
post #71 of 111

Put yourself in your friends place. Play it out in your head and how would you feel if she showed up with out a cake you requested 2 months ago?

Secondly, get out and make some more friends that are not related to this family.

Use the backbone the good Lord gave you and stand up to this SIL and stop letting her walk all over you.

Also, talk to Jen. "Hey I just wanted to confirm this idea with you for your pig cake... how about shooter glasses on fire like the pig is being roasted?" - That gives Jen the out "oh friend I am so sorry but my SIL is taking over everything and to save the family unnecessary drama can we just use her nasty chocolate cake she thinks I love and have you do a cake another time."

As for bringing a gift or bottle of booze if SIL brings it up again. Give her a firm "I can't and won't be bringing anything. The gift I was supposed to bring was a special designed and carved cake Jen specifically asked for. I bought the ingredients before you cut me off at the knees and are refusing me to bring my gift so there will be no gift from me . See you at the party."

From there on out no more conversation with her.


Seriously though, advise Jen there might not be a pig cake some how... when suffering from depression little things like this just add to it and that's not fair to Jen. She's the one loosing here, not you, not SIL.

tararenee29 Cake Central Cake Decorator Profile
tararenee29 Posted 10 Aug 2009 , 4:56pm
post #72 of 111

You definately need to make this cake, especially if she asked you months in advance for it. It sounds like this luau isn't shapping up to be a lua without it just a regular party with chips and crackers and lots of booze. And hopefully your friend isnt a nursing mother or she wont even get to enjoy that.

motherofgrace Cake Central Cake Decorator Profile
motherofgrace Posted 11 Aug 2009 , 5:21am
post #73 of 111

I want to thank everyone for thier help.

On facebook today, just posted that she did not want a cake for her party. So obviously something was said. I could not ask her if she wants anything else because she had important dr.s appointments today.

But as an added bonus, the SIL commented on her post saying " ill make the canke for thanksgiving, who wants sweets and booze anyways, yuk"..........witch.

Thank you again all for trying to help!

ceshell Cake Central Cake Decorator Profile
ceshell Posted 11 Aug 2009 , 5:35am
post #74 of 111

Yep, just as you feared, so now she's putting it out there for everyone because she wants to try to "stop the madness". Can't believe SIL said "Who wants sweets and booze anyway." Um...EVERYONE??!!! icon_mad.gif

Please go ahead and make her the cake for the day before the party. She obviously doesn't want to be in the middle of this but that doesn't mean she cannot get a nice treat from you. If you make it before the party, it relieves her of any obligation to "choose" your cake for party...(but if she wants to do so she could still bring it.) She will appreciate your effort and also the fact that you are a great friend and not trying to push her into taking sides in SIL's battle.

Meanwhile, just sit back and be glad that chick isn't YOUR SIL!

motherofgrace Cake Central Cake Decorator Profile
motherofgrace Posted 11 Aug 2009 , 5:44am
post #75 of 111

lol thanks ceshell

yummymummycakes Cake Central Cake Decorator Profile
yummymummycakes Posted 11 Aug 2009 , 5:52am
post #76 of 111

Did you stop to think that maybe she posted on facebook because she is well aware of your cake, that the two of you designed together.

maybe she has said this as she is expecting your cake.

Make the cake

CakeRN Cake Central Cake Decorator Profile
CakeRN Posted 11 Aug 2009 , 9:18am
post #77 of 111

Make the cake and take it the day before. She can enjoy it at home or if she chooses she can save it for the party. It would be her choice. Either way she will have a cake that she wanted and she can keep it to herself or share it with everyone else. Plus...who is to say that You actually saw it on facebook to begin with. I don't always check my facebook postings and end up missing a lot of stuff.

make the pig cake....a day early...take it to her...sing Happy Birthday...go home feeling good.

Teri

newnancy Cake Central Cake Decorator Profile
newnancy Posted 11 Aug 2009 , 11:15am
post #78 of 111

I agree, make the cake & take it to her. It is HER birthday & she can do whatever she wants with it....save it & eat it all, whatever.
I hope your tongue isn't too sore from biting it after this party. Good luck with the party & avoid the b**** all you can.

Evoir Cake Central Cake Decorator Profile
Evoir Posted 11 Aug 2009 , 11:18am
post #79 of 111
Quote:
Originally Posted by CakeRN

Make the cake and take it the day before. She can enjoy it at home or if she chooses she can save it for the party. It would be her choice. Either way she will have a cake that she wanted and she can keep it to herself or share it with everyone else. Plus...who is to say that You actually saw it on facebook to begin with. I don't always check my facebook postings and end up missing a lot of stuff.

make the pig cake....a day early...take it to her...sing Happy Birthday...go home feeling good.

Teri




I agree 100% with you Teri!!!

And I think that its the best solution all round because:
1. The OP already has the ingredients that she had budgeted for.
2. The OP is 100% fulfilling her friends cake order
3. OP gets to wish friend happy birthday in private as she presents her with her wished-for cake, and then she can let this friend do whatever she wants with the pig cake, whenever she wants - in front of her bizarro inlaws or not.
4. The OP can keep well away from the lunacy that is going to be the "chip'n'dip" luau party. Once you've delivered the cake to the friend in private on Friday, my advice would be the keep the h*** away from that family!!

Brenda0217 Cake Central Cake Decorator Profile
Brenda0217 Posted 11 Aug 2009 , 12:13pm
post #80 of 111

Please make her the cake she wanted, she was telling people all about it at one time, so she is excited to have it at her party, and it fits with the theme that she wants, I would not disapoint my friend, stop listening to SIL or anyone else, do what the two of you discussed two months before hand. She is probably looking forward to YOUR cake and you more than anything else. And besides she will have two favorite cakes there, if the other one is REALLY her favorite . And besides just would not look right having a loau party without a pig being there. So please make the cake for her and make her day.

redrosenj99 Cake Central Cake Decorator Profile
redrosenj99 Posted 11 Aug 2009 , 5:53pm
post #81 of 111

Yes! this is my first post... icon_surprised.gif I just wanted to say .. when friends ask me to make them a cake I do it because.. 1. they are my friend.. 2. because I love to see how happy it makes them to see it... 3. They know I will give them what they ask for....4. friends are always there when you need them..ssooo please make the cake!

motherofgrace Cake Central Cake Decorator Profile
motherofgrace Posted 11 Aug 2009 , 9:17pm
post #82 of 111

Jen and i had a nice long talk. It was actually depression related that she ended up saying no cake. She was aftrad of me doing all this wrk and no one eating it.

I explained to her that if its just decoration then thats fine too. And that if she wants a roasted pig at her party, there will be one there

So i am making the cake. And going to the party!

Thank you all for your help!

Doug Cake Central Cake Decorator Profile
Doug Posted 11 Aug 2009 , 9:24pm
post #83 of 111

happy ending...

no wait....

almost happy ending.....

----

finish to make a happy ending.....

at the party, CD showed up with her custom roasted pig cake with flaming jello shooter tiki torches as special present for Jen.

All the guests except the evil SIL just ooohhhhed and ahhhhhhed and cooooed over the cake and how great it was.

Evil SIL came over to have a look--fully intending to make some catty comment.

However, SIL's hair caught on fire(!) from the shooters and her friends promptly pushed her into the pool.

SIL, being unable to swim and despite being several sheets to the wind - enough to power the largest schooner -- went down for the count and had to be pulled from the pool and hauled home to dry out (in both senses!)

The party proceeded beautifully and no one even noticed the SIL's absence.

Jen80 Cake Central Cake Decorator Profile
Jen80 Posted 11 Aug 2009 , 9:25pm
post #84 of 111

Woohoo!! icon_biggrin.gif LOL!!

I'm so glad you two discussed it and that you're making the cake.

You've made my day. thumbs_up.gif

I hope she's feeling well enough at her party to enjoy herself.

Don't forget to post pics.

Brenda0217 Cake Central Cake Decorator Profile
Brenda0217 Posted 11 Aug 2009 , 9:36pm
post #85 of 111

Me too---so glad you are making that cake, you had me on the edge of my chair waiting to see what you were going to do. You will be glad you did that for your friend when everything is done and over with. Now go and enjoy yourself and your friend. and please post a picture if you can.

motherofgrace Cake Central Cake Decorator Profile
motherofgrace Posted 11 Aug 2009 , 11:10pm
post #86 of 111

i will definatly post pictures!!!

I only hope that it can live up to your expectations!!!!

7yyrt Cake Central Cake Decorator Profile
Brenda0217 Cake Central Cake Decorator Profile
Brenda0217 Posted 11 Aug 2009 , 11:43pm
post #88 of 111

I am sure it will look wonderful, as long as you and your friend will like it, that is all that counts. I am just so glad you decided to do it.

motherofgrace Cake Central Cake Decorator Profile
motherofgrace Posted 11 Aug 2009 , 11:44pm
post #89 of 111

So thanks to you guys ive toughened up!

SIL emailed me today, saying she changed the theme. I just asked what it is now.

Jen is gettting a theme chake, and the SIL can do nothing about it!

Brenda0217 Cake Central Cake Decorator Profile
Brenda0217 Posted 11 Aug 2009 , 11:46pm
post #90 of 111

Like we all have been saying, don't pay attention to the SIL, just keep in touch with Jenn and you will be fine no matter what the theme is.

Quote by @%username% on %date%

%body%