I am speechless. I have never seen a hat cake that beautiful before. Your work is "Art".

I wish I was that talented. If I were you I would call and let her know that it's no trouble on the sugar and it will be your pleasure to do a cake that is equally as wonderful as the last one and that we all love Granny and want her days, however many that might be, to be full of all the good that she gave.

I have one Granny left and she's 86 and I think when I go to visit her next month I'm going to take her a cake decorated with cookies that have a Miami theme. She moved from Miami to Albany, GA to be closer to her sister and other family members.

Thanks and don't ever stop your passion and never let anyone steal your joy,

cakeymom

OMG! Are you sure we're not related?? lol My mother does the exact same thing to me! I will tell her how my sister will act and then the next thing I know my mom is either calling me back or my sister is calling me explaining that what I was "feeling" was totally off! And things I dont want repeated she tells my Aunt who is the biggest big mouth! She cant keep a secret to save her life! So telling her something, you know its going to get around, not to mention embellished!!

I just wanted to say that your cake to your grandmother was, WOW, so beautiful.

You know why we have these nasty family members dont you?

BECAUSE we allow them to exist!!!!!

When I was very young, I got very tired of my familys advice on how I should live my life, so eventually I told them in a nice, but firm way that I appreciate their opinions, but I like my way best, and so I will be doing it my way. Nothing mean, just telling them like it was. My family soon learned that you could give advice, but that didnt mean I would take it and do it, so they soon learned why bother and gave up.

Now for my MIL, well, lets just say I wasnt the right person for her son, so soon after we married I gave up trying to be her friend. When she called, or came over, I would say hello, and then say just a minute Ill go get your son. And, Id just turn her over to him I didnt care what kind of face he gave me, Id just tell him that shes was his mom not mine.


I think you were saying that you are looking for ideas for her Birthday Cake, well:

What hobbies does she have?

Did she ever tell you a special story or moment from her childhood or young adult life that could be turned into cake?


I wish you the best of luck,
Tammy

she's jealous, plain and simple. Oh don't have her bring a cake that upshines my cruddy bean dip that anyone with half a brain could make, would probably have been more truthful. i'd bring the most awesome cake I could and place it next to her lame veggie plate and then turn and smile, watch her turn green, trust me it'll be fun!

Now hold on everybody... I'm one of those old ladies like the Op's aunt.

The aunt didn't write that to the OP, she wrote it to the Op's mother. I can't believe she intended to have the OP read it. Who would forward a private message to someone else?

If granny is 92, aunt is probably in her late 60s or early 70s. To that generation a huge cake, and all that 'extra stuff', no matter how beautiful is a waste of sugar - especially in these times, when people are worried about keeping jobs and roofs over their heads.

It was polite to let the OP know there would be a vegetarian menu, and if her children wanted hot dogs or something, they would need to bring them.

Why so much anger?

I don't think the aunt needs to be told anything. I think the OP should make the cake for her nanny the way she'd like to make it. Should the aunt mention something about it to the OP, a possible response might be, "I appreciate your consideration in reducing my cost I may incur on this cake. This is my way of showing Nanny how much I love her....there's no such thing as a waste of sugar in this case. But, really, thank you for thinking about it."

Okay...here's how it should go down. Bring in stunningly beautiful cake, set it in front of grandmother. In front of aunt busybody, say " Grandmother, i know this cake is probably more than you ever expected, but i love you that much. I almost didn't make it because aunt busybody said it was a waste however, you are very important to me, and i would NEVER consider you a waste of my time. Happy Birthday grandmother, and i will always cherish you ! " Oh yeah, i think i would take her to the floor. It sounds so mean, but man, oh man...this chaps my cheeks.

quote: In front of aunt busybody, say " Grandmother, i know this cake is probably more than you ever expected, but i love you that much. I almost didn't make it because aunt busybody said it was a waste however, you are very important to me, and i would NEVER consider you a waste of my time. Happy Birthday grandmother, and i will always cherish you ! :unquote

That would be extremely mean.

Aunt mentioned something privately to her sister, and you want the OP to act like a complete ass in front of the entire family?

Apparently everyone is entitled to an opinion except the aunt?

You need to lighten up. Everyone is kidding. No one here is that mean, everyone is just joking about what they'd like to do, not what they would actually do.

I don't know, I'm thinking age, generation, dysfunctional issues and whatnot shouldn't be a license to be rude or obnoxious or say something without thinking how it might make someone feel. But what do I know? I just bought a ton of sugar tonight, on sale for 99 cents at County Market, and plan to use every last bit of it.

It's a very good point that the Aunt was talking to her sister not the op--that's pretty important.

I don't know--some of my family never wanted me to make cakes for anything. Some that would like me to make cakes gave me a pass when traveling (500 miles to a family event) that I did not have to make the cake others would request it. I just went with the flow, bring or not bring.

Clearly if it's a pot luck type thingy my 1st thought would be cake but I can make a casserole too.

I mean my cakes like a lot of yours are big hits and steal the show in some cases--I mean we have to decide if we want that at a celebration for a dear family member too. It can be cool it can be overpowering.

I mean we all want to share our gift too. And you gotta factor in if G'ma would be ok with not getting a masterpiece too.

It's a balance huh.

But I really think Auntie needs the break here. Sugar most definitely was rationed during her lifetime when things got tight like they are now. So...I would not take offense myself at this one.

Auntie was not anywhere near rude or obnoxious though for sure.

I think your Mom however should be taken to task for sharing what obviously is a private communication that has potentially painful ramifications to you. What was she thinking?

Auntie told sister to tell OP not to make "fancy cake because it was a big waste".... HMmm Idk, we don't know, only she and God know how she meant it. In these types of situations in my life, I just say to myself WHO CARES!

I love the idea someone had of making a super-special mini cake for Gram as your gift to her and then taking a super plain cake as your contribution to the party.

Oh Indy I would TOTALLY do the same thing!

While it does sound fun to make a mini special cake for Grandma and a lousy cake for everyone else, just remember that the other guests don't know what your Aunt said. So if you do that and make some snide remark, you're the one who will end up looking like a total jerk, not your aunt. Ask your grandma what SHE wants, and make it with her in mind, not your aunt.

If I were in this situation...I just ignore dear old Auntie and make the best cake I could for my grandma (I called mine MomMom). I wish she was still here so that I COULD be put in a situation like this (God bless her soul). I do like Indydebi's idea, though.

Even if the reason behind dear old Auntie's remark is generational, I'd still honor my grandmother in the best possible way I could and wouldn't care less about what Auntie feels or has to say. I agree with several of the posts who mentioned that there are people in everyones family who are mean and say things without thinking of how their words will be received. My mom is like that. She can place a meanspirited comment while giving a compliment (if that makes sense).

Don't even sweat it. Enjoy making that cake for your Grannie.

BTW...the Hatbox cake is BEAUTIFUL!

Hmmm...if you make the cake for free, you get to do WHATEVER you want to it! I'm pretty sure that's the rule!

I'd be making a cake styled like a bag of sugar saying "sweet Nanny" on it. With sugar piled on the sides, like it's opened and is pouring out. And a figurine of Nanny eating the sugar with a spoon. (If I had the talent, that is.... LOL).


Grrrrrrr I'd be flipping mad too if I were you!!

Sadsmile,
I just looked at your Mother's Day hat box and I must say, it is stunningly beautiful!! AND your aunt needs to BUTT OUT! You do exactly what you want for your Nanny's cake. I can't wait to see what you come up with.

I read a few pages of this thread and then skipped to "post a reply".... (so sorry if I'm repeating something).

You can't know what your aunt meant by her statement. I've been through a lot in my life, and the most important thing that I learned is that people do the best that they can. Your aunt may or may not have meant to be mean. But if she could do better, she would.

Don't worry about it. It's better to take a glass-is-half-full attitude. Make a cake that you think your Nanny will love, and put your heart into it. And DON'T worry about what her intentions may have been. Like I tell my three little girls when someone was (maybe) mean to them, "just say a prayer for them, there's probably a reason they acted that way".

Have a great time baking whatever cake you think your Grandmother will love, and use as much sugar as you want (the more, the better, in my opinion)

I think that it doesn't matter who the email was sent to, calling a beautiful work of art like that hatbox cake "a waste of sugar" is a catty, nasty remark. And how many mothers are not going to take offense at their own daughter's being insulted that way, whether the comment was made to the daughter or not?

If my mother had received such a remark from a family member, she would have returned an email to the effect that she would talk to me about making a cake but only because it was for Nanny and not Aunt Nasty. Formal and polite language that nonetheless would be letting Auntie know that the remark was not appreciated.

I would make the cake that I wanted to make for Nanny, in the OP's place. I would bring it to the party. And I would quietly have a word with auntie and say, "I make the cakes I do as an expression of love. If you do not want fancy cake for yourself, I will not make cakes for you, but please do not try to spoil my pleasure or the pleasure of others in my craft."

I would be this nice because the original email does seem to indicate that making the cake is entirely optional, more of a, "If she doesn't want to make it let me know so I can get one elsewhere if she doesn't" than a "MAKE THE CAKE AND DO IT MY WAY!" demand. But Auntie does need to be let know, in a gentle way, that you will not tolerate being put down. Perhaps ESPECIALLY if she didn't intend for it to sound as spiteful and hurtful as it did, because how else is someone to learn? It might very well be that she blinks and goes, "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings, I just meant that everybody peeled the fondant off and threw it out, next time I'll say it more directly." Or, she could get all huffy and "I can't believe your DISRESPECT!" at which point you walk away, and when she complains to other family members, they will remember that you made a lovely cake and that you talked to her privately and didn't humiliate her in front of everyone, and conclude that she is bitter and jealous, or defensive and angry, or whatever.

Either way, handling it this way makes you look as good as your cake.

Sadsmile, your hatbox cake was gorgeous. Take into consideration that words in print rarely come off sounding they way a person intended... this entire post is a lesson in just that. How many replies sound just as mean-spirited as you perceived your aunts remark to be? Yet, I'm sure the writers (at least most of them) did not intend for their remarks to come off "sounding" that way. Shoot, I've read many posts by people upset they because they were not asked to bring a cake to the function! At least she acknowledged you are the "cake person" in your family. I'm sure she just doesn't get it --and she's probably thinking that, with your 4 kiddos underfoot, and four mouths to feed, that's an awful lot of money going into a cake. Generational indeed. Take the high road. Say nothing. Make whatever cake you wish as it is your gift and it is from your heart. Letting the words fester only keep the wound from healing which will then take the joy out of making your beautiful creation.

Many of the replies do indeed sound mean-spirited to this woman who told her sister in private that an elaborate cake cost too much money to make for a woman with young children to support.
It sounded to me as if she is concerned, not jealous and bitchy as so many of you have claimed. If I knew the aunt I'd stop over and give her a big hug.
I will stop watching this topic now.