Pt My Toddler...i Need Help! (Long)

Lounge By Niliquely Updated 7 Apr 2009 , 11:15pm by Niliquely

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Niliquely Posted 2 Apr 2009 , 12:25am
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So I'm trying to potty train my two year old daughter and it is not going well. icon_mad.gif I've tried so many things and everyone says, "Girls are so easy to train!" and mine doesn't seem to be! I talk talk talk to her about all the lingo and she gets stickers for going and sitting on the potty (because originally she refused) and she is using both disposable and cloth training pants right now but she still doesn't seem to mind being wet or dirty. We read books, we watch videos....I don't think she gets it! She is really smart and has a big vocabulary and my pediatrician says she is ready. My step mother-in-law keeps nagging me saying her daughter was potty trained at 18 months. My mom is very busy and when I ask her she just says keep doing what I'm doing. My friends my age do not have children and my older friends seem to have potty-training amnesia because they can't seem to remember how they did it! Is there a secret I am missing??? If you have any thoughts or advice I would appreciate it as I am getting discouraged and tired of people asking me, "Is she STILL in diapers?!" icon_cry.gif

20 replies
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Deb_ Posted 2 Apr 2009 , 12:47am
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Well it's been a while since I potty trained my kids, they're both in college now, but I can tell you that every child is different.

I hate when people say things like "She's still wearing diapers" to another mother, that's just damn rude.

My daughter was exactly like yours.....she was very intelligent but she was definitely more difficult to train then my son was. I did all the things you're doing, books, videos, rewarding the little "tinkle" in the potty when it appeared but the bottom line was she wasn't ready.

It seemed like one day she just woke up and decided that "this was the day that she would not wear a diaper anymore", and from that day forward she never did. She was about 30 months old.

I think what kind of messed her up was my son was born when she was 17 months old, so she wanted to be a "baby" like him.

Now my son was very easy to train. He LOVED "watering the flowers" outside icon_rolleyes.gif My husband's bright idea! I swear he was trained in 2 weeks time but he sometimes had accidents in bed.

Don't get discouraged, I really don't have any other "tricks" to add to what you're already doing. Sometimes if you back off a little bit, a little light will go on and she'll start on her own. Leave everything out at her disposal and when she's ready she'll do it.

Good luck!

P.S. It cracks me up when Pediatricians tell you "Oh she's ready", how the he_ _ does he/she know that? There's no test to tell ya! Man, that gets me, they see your kid for 10 minutes every few months and they all of a sudden KNOW when she's ready. icon_mad.gif

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mbelgard Posted 2 Apr 2009 , 12:52am
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Every child is different so well girls might NORMALLY be easier to train taht doesn't mean they always are.

How smart your child is only really matters when they have developmental delays and that might delay potty training a couple years depending on the child. Both of my boys are so smart it's scary and neither of them trained early.

If your daughter isn't interested she might not really be ready.

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Niliquely Posted 2 Apr 2009 , 2:18am
post #4 of 21

Thanks gals for the encouragement. I will just keep going I guess and be happy knowing that "no one walks down the aisle in diapers".

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Carson Posted 2 Apr 2009 , 2:26am
post #5 of 21

My dd is 29 months and is not potty trained...or anywhere close! I feel your frustration, my first was fully potty trained at 25 months in 2 days! I tried a couple months before and nothing...then all of a sudden it was like a light went off over night and she knew. This second one of mine is being a little more stubborn and seems to have no interest at all.

Its frustrating...after the first I thought I had it all down...but guess not! I am hoping by the end of this summer we will be done, as I find the warmer weather helps, she doesn't have to have so many clothes on and can run around in a dress that's easy to get on and off the potty.

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summernoelle Posted 2 Apr 2009 , 2:33am
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My daughter is 3 1/2 and really is just now to where she doesn't have any accidents during the day or night. She was not interested at all and really resisted it. Ignore your MIL and everyone else. When she's ready, she'll do it. With things like this, you have to learn to roll with it. Don't worry so much! She will do it!

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Niliquely Posted 2 Apr 2009 , 2:48am
post #7 of 21

Yes summer will be easier with dresses and right now we are in the middle of calving and my husband constantly needs help and I have to drop everything to go help him feed or whatever. It is so frustrating and none of us are getting good sleep since he gets up throughout the night to check the heifers!

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Karema Posted 2 Apr 2009 , 2:49am
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My daughter was potty trained at 2 years old but it wasnt easy. I brought her a pair of underwear in her favorite character. She was in love with Dora. I brought her these and let her run around in them. When she peed in them I would say Oh my goodness you peepeed on Dora. She would look down and realize what she did. I also put her on a schedule. Which meant I had to stay home for a few days. She woke up got on potty. Ate breakfast got on potty. Had a snack got on potty. Lunch, then potty, Then before nap potty and after nap potty. Get the idea lol. I did that until she got the feeling of how to go potty. Then it just clicked and she want potty and was trained even over night by the time she was three.

My son was another story. He didnt want to go even when I tried. When he turned two I tried just like my daughter. He did not want to go. Then I waited until he was 27 months. Then it just clicked over night. He just got it and went potty even over night. I do not like pullups because they dont work. Children treat them like diapers. They are a waste of money. Just be patient. It takes time but I've learned that yelling or screaming does not work. They do not respond to negative attention. When they had an accident I would just ignore it and say oh well lets try again. Good Luck.

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jules06 Posted 2 Apr 2009 , 3:05am
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My daughter was 3 before she was toilet trained ( she still wears a nappy at night ).........honestly, if it's hard work, then they're not ready - I just ignored all the comments from family ( she's still in nappies ??) & every now & then I'd try it - she finally decided she was ready & it was a piece of cake !!!
My boys were all toilet trained around the 2 - 2 1/2 yrs, so I wasn't stressing about it ( stressing & trying to fit in with the " norm " doesn't help you or your child !!! )


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bengals Posted 2 Apr 2009 , 10:20am
post #10 of 21

Hi i have been working with children for 13 years and have to stress that they are all different and will only crawl,walk potty train when THEY are ready so many parents feel that because people are making comments to them that they have to do something about it.

do not stress or worry about it as the child only picks up on this and this will delay the process i am a nanny for 4 kids just now and potty trained the little one at 20mts she was happy to go but had not yet mastered how to pull up her trousers and pants!!

The youngest is 13mts and i have started taking her to the bathroom with me and she sometimes sits on the toilet step that the others use to get on the toilet children learn by observing and imitating the adults in their life (the good and bad habits) now that she can walk and stand confidently i now dress her standing up and put her nappy and clothes on this way and she has started to lift her foot into her trousers and push her arms into her tops.

It's all the little things that add up take your time and keep up with all your are doing taking her a regular intervals and singing a potty song are always good.

Best of luck thumbs_up.gif

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shelbur10 Posted 2 Apr 2009 , 10:34am
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I feel your pain, neither one of my kids cared much about potty training, but my DD was definitely the hardest. Like yours, she is very intelligent and she seemed to understand the concept, she just wasn't interested. I worked with her for a year to no avail, then when she turned 3, she started using the potty and only had one or two accidents after that. She's the type of child who won't try to do anything until she's sure she can do it right.

Keep doing what you're doing, ignore the rude comments and have faith that she will 'get it' in her own time!

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Niliquely Posted 2 Apr 2009 , 2:07pm
post #12 of 21

I think you guys are right...I just need to chill out right now about this. I don't know why I get so stressed about this stuff...I probably wouldn't if people weren't so concerned - especially the step MIL...I wonder if my little one can sense the stress???icon_confused.gif She was really late to walk (17 months) and step MIL stressed about that too and it stressed me and I would practice and practice with DD to no avail. Finally I gave up - we went on vacation and sure enough, she took her first steps! I guess maybe I need to be more nonchalant about potty training too?!

Oh and can I just say that I love that you guys say "nappies"?! I can almost hear your fun accents...I may have to stalk you now just to see what other fun words you use! icon_lol.gif In high school I would call 1-800-DOWNUNDER just to hear the automated Aussie talk! icon_rolleyes.gif

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dldbrou Posted 2 Apr 2009 , 2:51pm
post #13 of 21

I am no expert, but I spent 15 years potty training 2 year olds. I had an infant to 3 daycare for 15 years and I came across all types of children.

First, relax. Just think, have you ever seen a child walk onto their graduation stage in a diaper? It will happen eventually, so just relax. When she sees that you are not obsessing, but are serious, she will come around.

Now, the way I always approached potty training is, no pull ups, no diapers, just pantys or underwear. Make sure to involve them in picking out the ones they like. The theory is that they don't want to wet or poop on (scooby, bert, ernie or whatever character they choose).

Next, watch out how much fluid intake they have and at what time. Is she drinking out of a sippy cup? No bottles. If she is still taking a bottle, then she is getting too much liquid for her bladder to control on demand.

Now for the hard part. Never ask, "Do you need to go potty." The answer will more than likely be "NO". Instead say, do you want to go outside? "Yes"-child. Then you say, okay, let's go potty and then we can go. Or substitute outside with whatever activity you want to do with her. (park, favorite television show, snacks, grandma's house, etc.)

Make sure that when you give her a drink or a snack/meal that you take her to potty about 20 minutes later (with some type of incentive, like reading a book or coloring/painting, etc.)

The reason this method works, is it is positive reinforcement for potty training. You can then start with a star chart when she starts to respond to your request. Get a calendar, put it at her eye level and when she takes a bath at night and did not have any accidents, then she gets to put a star for the day. After 5 days, take her to pick out a treat. It can be something from your cupboard that she isn't allowed to have often. Or you can make a trip to the dollar store for a treat.

When I was able to get the parents to follow this method, it usually took 2 or 3 weeks tops for complete potty training.

Hope this helps. Oh, make sure she doesn't drink liquids after 7:00 p.m. This helps with going through the night without wetting the bed. It's okay at night for her to wear a diaper, but as soon as she starts waking up dry, switch to panties.

Good Luck icon_lol.gif

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jules06 Posted 3 Apr 2009 , 6:08am
post #14 of 21


I bet bengals sounds [/b]very different to me, when she says nappy !!!


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krysoco Posted 3 Apr 2009 , 4:05pm
post #15 of 21
Originally Posted by dkelly

P.S. It cracks me up when Pediatricians tell you "Oh she's ready", how the he_ _ does he/she know that? There's no test to tell ya! Man, that gets me, they see your kid for 10 minutes every few months and they all of a sudden KNOW when she's ready. icon_mad.gif

How the hell does the Pedi know? icon_confused.gif That's what I was thinking.

It sounds to me like she isn't ready. I say give it time. 2 y o change like the wind. Try again in a few weeks. Or maybe those rewards arent working for her. Reward her w/going to the park or getting an ice cream cone. I wouldn't push it though.

I've also let one of mine run around naked from the waist down during PT. GL

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Niliquely Posted 3 Apr 2009 , 6:28pm
post #16 of 21

Okay then I have another question...if I do panties or naked, what about my couch, love seat, carpet, etc.??

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pebblez87 Posted 6 Apr 2009 , 5:05pm
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well first off i only have 1 daughter shes not of potty training age but i do care for my neice who is goin to be 3 soon so im getting my pt training wheels with her haha

so far ive actually set timers for about 30-45 mins depending on how much she has drank and when it goes off she knows to go the potty i have a few books in there so she can "read" which keeps her on the potty instead of sitting for a second and jumpin up and honestly when she does pee i make the biggest deal about it and it makes her feel good and as the day goes on i tone it down and she still gives me the same results i never did candy or stickers she was happy with a big smile and a Yay , ive also tried the no panties method luckily i have wood floors so its an easy mop i also explained to her only big girls get to sit on the couch so when you can go pee pee in the potty you can sit with me until then you and baby stay on the floor i dnt think its mean or anything and she gets happy and she starts getting a goal

sorry if this is a jumbled post just tellin ya what ive gotten so far good luck and be patient

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janelwaters Posted 6 Apr 2009 , 5:35pm
post #18 of 21

OK - my daughter is 2 1/2 and we just finished potty training. We have hardwoods, so we did naked or her favorite Dora panties.

We tried about 1/2 a dozen times before she was ready - and once she was ready it was really easy!

We did the potty every 30/45 minutes and then I got a bag of mix mini candy and after she peed she got to pick one candy out of the bag and she got 2 for pooping - she never had a problem pooping on the potty.

Your daughter just isn't ready - don't push her and tell you MIL to back off! Don't stress about it.

Good luck!!


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VannaD Posted 7 Apr 2009 , 9:56pm
post #19 of 21

I dont think shes ready either, every child is different. I started w/ DD #1 when she was 18mths, she had the jest of it but it took a while for her to totally get it, probably about a year. She then started staying dry at night so when she turned 3 we did away with the nightime pullups (which i agree are a waste of money). NOw with DD #2 i said ok ill try at 18 mths do it a few days and if she gets it ill keep at it and if not ill wait and try again later, well she sure had me fooled. Within 2 days she had it down pat and within a week she was completely potty trained (night time too). Im still super proud and impressed with her, but i can hardly take all the credit and "brag" that I had her trained at 18 mths b/c she pretty much did it herself, i just put her on the potty and cleaned her. I think your stepmom needs to back off b/c every childs different, and just b/c her child was P.T.ed so early doesn t mean shes the "worlds greatest parent" and it also doesnt mean tht other kids are going to be ready at tht age. I'll step off my soapbox now.
Oh, i also wanted to say it helps alot that I am SAHM, im sure for those of you who work it can get pretty tricky trying to Potty train. I also kept the kids OFF the furniture when training, if they wanted to sit by mommy they had to either have just pottied or had to go potty first. GOOD LUCK!

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janelwaters Posted 7 Apr 2009 , 10:01pm
post #20 of 21

Hey - if your MIL is so smart - send her your daughter and tell her to get her trained! guarantee in a day or 2 she will say - "oh, well I guess she just isn't ready"

A friend of mine did that with her mother - they went on a cruise and her parents came to keep the kids. Her Mom said, I can't believe he isn't trained yet - my friend said - be my guest. Her Mom says - he'll be trained by the time you get back. When they got back he was still in diapers and her mom says "he just isn't ready yet".

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Niliquely Posted 7 Apr 2009 , 11:15pm
post #21 of 21

icon_lol.gif Ha - Thanks Janel! You are right, I seriously don't think she could handle it, even though she swears her daughter was trained at 18 months!
I think I'm going to try the cloth panties - my daughter loves Dora so we will go get some of those and try the "oh no you peed on Dora" route. Once the weather warms up we can go outside too and try some nakey house time...
I am already trying to use the timed potty time - going in about 20-30 minutes after eating or drinking.
I really appreciate all the ideas and advice - this is way better than anything else anyone has told me!!!

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