Alright, there's not enough drama on this board, let's see how well I can string everything together:

I baked a cake, from a box mix, with ingredients that sat at room temperature for fourteen hours. My hairy dog and seven cats both sat on the counter and watched while it baked. When it was nice and underdone, I removed the cake from the oven. I promptly put one layer right on the counter to sit for an indefinite period of time. The other layer I wrapped tightly and stuck in the freezer, hoping to seal in as much moisture/harmful bacteria/pet hairs as possible. Later, I took some frosting from a can, mixed it with some frosting from a bucket and covered the layers. I got my idea online and copied it to a T. I added some Wilton fondant accents, and then I sold it, without a license, to an elderly neighbor for either over $2000 or under $10. I told her the entire cake was from scratch and my original design. She called me nineteen days later, screamed that she had been poisoned! And the cake was UGLY! but was grateful I had let her pay in foodstamps. Gee I like to make cakes.




There, that was as many controversial topics as I could muster, but I may have missed some. Feel free to add any. (And if this story sounds like anything real, I'm sorry. I tried to make it as far-fetched as possible)

Well, you did miss the fact that your hands had open wounds the sported a Staph infection, which you then gave to the elderly lady who had acute diarrhea and that she ended up in the hospital and that the HD couldn't find you because you went underground to make a cake in your secret cake catacomb where the network of underground bakers bake. And that you used milk that your son drank from the carton with, and that you left the bowl of icing in the icebox and that your husband brought home steaks and that the steak juice dripped into the bowl of icing. You also had your other child with the norovirus sitting on your counter as you assembled the cake.

THERE.

And don't forget you're NOT LICENSED!!

Wow! And THAT is what keeps me a "Junior Member" who must bow down to greatness when she sees it. Very nicely done, Summernoelle!

was the cake covered in licensed disney characters and say "happy marriage life"?

Didn't you post a picture of the cake in the gallery and, like 500 people marked it as a favorite, but you only got 100 comments, and most of those were "cute cake" or "pretty cake".

Was it perchance a politically-themed cake? Or maybe sold on a Sunday, when nobody should be selling anything?

And it was religious / anti-religious themed?

I stole it, Miss-Tiff, from Kolache Guy from the Legal Texas Bakery thread.

Someone actually has a catacomb, huh?

No. Yesterday at the House hearing, a HD guy got up there and started griping about all the underground bakers. So some of the girl yesterday were making fun of him, saying we must have secret cake catacombs kind of like the Underground Railroad.

The Secret Cake Catacomb is still secret because the number one rule of use is "Don't talk about the Cake Catacomb" Great, now it's been talked about, and we're all screwed!!! LOL

sorry...computer issues.

The Secret Cake Catacomb is still secret because the number one rule of use is "Don't talk about the Cake Catacomb" Great, now it's been talked about, and we're all screwed!!! LOL

Don't forget you had the flu and didnt wash your hands and you overcharged $300 for this cake!
Edna

I love how the Secret of the Catacomb was mentioned 3 times

oh...and don't forget that my dog licked the side of the cake and i wiped off the frosting at that spot and re-iced it and it looked like it never happened.

You forgot the fact that you dropped it on the floor too! Stuck your finger in it to taste then...added some vanilla then stuck the same finger in it to taste again!

Sneaky, sneaky! You forgot to mention that the cats hacked up hairballs, which you incorporated into the design.

I love this thread!

Theresa

Ohhh!..And the bird that escaped from the cage and pooped on top of it while flying!...It got covered with a fondant detail!
Edna

Oh, Edna, I thought those were rice paper feathers on the cake, but I guess not.

Theresa

Now, this is funny! I don't think you guys missed anything. Thanks for making me laugh!

Melissa

I'm impressed. I have a lot to learn from the CC community. I now pledge that my next cake will be better - featuring more inflammatory designs, a higher price, droppings from at least one animal, anatomy in some form, and overall more germs than you can shake a dirty spatula at.

Maybe then I can be invited into the secret catacombs. I'll bet they don't need to refrigerate even their peanut butter in that magical land!

Hmmmmm, I'm not sure why this is so controversial - doesn't everybody make cakes this way ???!!!

Oh and the son who was sticking his fingers on the nose and OOPS!...wanted a taste of the buttercream!
Edna

And the cake was both baked and decorated in 3 minutes flat and then messengered over to the old lady COD.

And the box got all mess up in a crash on the delivery!
Edna

...and what about the fact that EVERYBODY in your house...meaning all 14 kids and ex-husband who lives with you with his live in girlfriend were all sick with the stomach flu and throwing up in the kitchen sink and coughing throughout the house as you tried to bake this nice cake for the nice old lady.
Don't forget that you also tried not to let your cigarette ashes that were an inch long fall onto the cake, but hey sometimes crap happens...you just covered it up with the mound of frosting made to look like a rain cloud.
...also those cabinet doors are brand new! They just started falling off the hinges yesterday! I swear!
What are you talking about grease stains?? Those aren't grease stains all over...thats my custom sponge paint job...I like the earthy tones!