Well guys, I'm OLD and I'm " SUTHUN ". My dad wouldn't ALLOW me to date any young man that didn't come to the door to get me AND if it was a first date had to meet the parents and talk for a while. Then he had to bring me back to the door BEFORE curfew. Hallow3.....I'm right there with ya! LOL

It is so refreshing these days when I "come across" a "young un" that says please and thank you OR that compliments me on something. My Pastor's little girl is 5. I made a cake for him for his birthday and she said "Oh, B (calls me B and hubby POPS. We are the adopted grandparents.), I LOVE the way you put a yellow sun on the cake!" LOL She loves the color yellow. Of course, "I" said "Why Thank You so much Mia!"

It's society........sad, but, true!

It's nice to see that manners will live on with us cakers and pass on through our children! My DH and I are constantly being told that our two kids are the best mannered young adults people have met in a long time - they hold doors for people, they help waitresses clear our table at restaurants, and I have even seen my son (13 years old) helping a lady at Walmart with some stuff she had dropped - no one asked him to do it, he just ran over and did it. Yes, I'm a proud mama!

And if anyone ever PM's me to ask a question, please expect a small conversation out of the bargain - that's just my way of striking up a friendship (as my signature states)!

Along with the "please" and "thank you" I also get annoyed when people don't say "bye" when they're done talking to you on the phone. Sometimes I feel like the call was cut off and I'm not really sure what happened! I always try to say please and thanks (and BYE!) and have been teaching my son the same manners. Trouble with him is, he's an Asperger's child and does NOT understand some of the other social graces...but at least he's polite!

Along the same lines, does it bother anyone else when perfect strangers call you "sweetie" or some other cutesy pet name? That is another one of my pet peeves...

johnasmom, I lived in the south for a long time and everyone there is a "sweetie, honey, hon" and so on. I just become so accustomed to it. I am one of the offenders because it is what was ingrained. We don't really mean anything by it but it makes my "day" that I could be a "sweetie" somedays it is better than the alternative names.

Yeah, I suppose I would take sweetie or hon over something negative (as I'm sure I've been called some of those too over the years - behind my back!).

hallo3,
>>I was also addressing some one the other day and I said " Miss Diane" as also taught and I got the funny look. What goes here in the north?<<

I can answer this one. I am thouroughly offended by being called "Miss Brenda" or "Mrs. Brenda". It makes me cringe. I tell children they may call me by my first name, or "Mrs. Lastname" (name not given on forums).

Why do I feel this way? Becuse I was taught in 3rd grade by a great teacher. You use formal address (ie. Mrs., Mr., Miss, Ms.) only with the last name, never with a first name. This is proper grammar. If you are on an informal basis with someone it is appropriate to call them by their given name. A child should never call an adult by their first name unless they specifically give permission to do so. You always go by the adult's request. The only time you should ever use a formal address with a first name is if the adult tells the child that they should, then the child uses that out of respect, but it is not proper grammar.

I have been known to stop a child who calls me by an improper address and tell them, "Please do not call me Miss Brenda. You may call me Brenda, or Mrs. Lastname." Many times, they opt for Mrs. Lastname because their parents insist on "good manners" and not to just use my first name (which is ironically not a problem for me at all...lol... I don't mind them using my first name alone).

Oh... and I'm 41, so not exactly a prudish old lady. My 3rd grade teacher was pretty strict, but she sure taught well!

eta...
I didn't address the fact that you are an adult, not a child (my examples were mainly for children since the discussion was about how people are raised). As an adult, I would expect you to use proper address. If you don't know me and feel the need to use a formal address, you should use Mrs. Lastname. Otherwise, it is appropriate to call me by first name. The rule of thuumb that I was taught (by said 3rd grade teacher) is that you use the form of address that the person uses when they introduce themselves. That is what they want to be called.

Thanks for this thread! I needed to hear all of this! Not that I am rude, but easily offended. When telemarketers call the house I try to be so polite and say "Oh, I am sorry, I am not interested, but thank you." You would not believe how many of those telemarketers just hang up on you. It is crazy! No, "Oh, okay, have a nice day." Nothing. Some even hang up before you finish! Maybe it is just the rudeness that they have received over the phone, but it is awful.

Sahrow, glad that you brought up what is grammatically correct in using first/last names. I am a teacher, and am pretty used to being called Mrs. Lastname. It comes natural to hear kids call me that. I have a friend that I do playdates with (we have children the same age). She always refers to me as Miss Jessica to her kids. ("Ask Miss Jessica...") It really drives me nuts! I didn't know if it was just me, or if maybe I was being picky. I would rather just be Jessica or Mrs. Lastname. Thanks for bringing this up. The next time her kid calls me Miss Jessica, I will know what to do! Thanks.

Well, I know just how to get rid of the telemarketer really fast. I pulled this trick a couple of times.
Telemarketer: Hello is Mrs XXXX there
Me: Hello?
Tele: is this Mrs. XXXX
Me: Hello?, Hello? ( little louder)
Tele: MRS. XXXX Hello
Me: Banging the phone on counter, yelling DAMN Phone and hang up.

I let children and adults call me by my first name (and I'm 35)~
"Mrs. whatever" just sounds too formal and uptight (but I'm very laid-back and don't like making people feel uncomfortble).
However, In a school setting I do think "Mrs. Mr. etc" is somewhat necessary to maintain order, or what-have-you. School's not exactly a casual setting.

To me, respect is ALL about tone of voice, not how I'm addressed. I also believe respect is something your earn, BUT I feel courtesy is something we should extend to one another automatically. (Please, thank you, etc.) Respect builds over time...
I don't want strangers calling me "Mrs." once they've learned my name. Everyone's different and has a preference.

My daughter calls me "Mommy", not "Mrs. Mommy"