Why Don't People Say Thankyou.....pet Peeve

Decorating By Kiddiekakes Updated 15 Mar 2009 , 5:16pm by kellertur

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Kiddiekakes Posted 13 Mar 2009 , 7:51pm
post #1 of 39

I don't know about the rest of you but it really irritates me when someone has emailed me asking for pricing info or even a question and then doesn't even have the decency to respond.."Thanks for your Time"or "Thankyou" or "It is a little more than I wanted to spend"...SOMETHING!...I mean I took the time to respond to your question.... icon_confused.gif Twice this week I have had emails or PM's requesting information and never recieved a "Thanks for the info" or "Okay great" nothing... icon_evil.gif

Okay...I'm fine now!! icon_razz.gif

38 replies
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marmalade1687 Posted 13 Mar 2009 , 8:25pm
post #2 of 39

I hear you Kiddiecakes!! But...it's all part of the business - that's where the thick skin comes in..! icon_wink.gif I've spent the better part of a week emailing responses to questions, only to get dead air for the most part.

I had a bride email me back 5 MONTHS LATER icon_confused.gif after I had sent her an estimate (and receive no response back from her)...it felt really satisfying to be able to tell her that she was WAY too late to book me because I was fully booked for her date! icon_twisted.gif

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foxymomma521 Posted 13 Mar 2009 , 10:31pm
post #3 of 39

Ohhh... you know what I can't stand? When someone wants instructions on making one of your cakes, and instead of asking nicely, with a please or thank you, they say "I need the instructions". I was so annoyed the last time I got that as a comment on one of my pics... I mean, I'm all for sharing tips and instructions, but ask nicely!!
Lol- sometimes I think people just take other peoples time for granted.

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mis Posted 13 Mar 2009 , 11:17pm
post #4 of 39

This isn't business related but...I emailed someone in charge of the memory books for my DD's school some pictures of the class that I was asked to take and I didn't here anything for over a week. So I emailed this person again asking if they had received the pictures I sent. They replied back later that day with a yes and thank you. Personally I think you need to at least acknowledge the person emailing you to show that you have indeed received the email. I mean what if I didn't pest this person with another email asking if they received them and then she actually didn't and my DD's class wouldn't be included in the book.

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misserica Posted 14 Mar 2009 , 12:11am
post #5 of 39

People are just not nice these days. Manners are long gone.
Quick example: I was out to dinner with my cousins and one of my aunts (group of us girls are really close ages range from 24-35). So we are ordering our meal and it is my turn, I look up at the waiter and say "may I please have the ___ (forgot what I ordered) for my appetizer and I would like to have the ___for my entree, thank you"...my cousins and aunt, all of which are older than me (Im the youngest, 24) said "wow you are so polite"....WTF!? What is wrong with people?

It seems as though please and thank you have gone away. I find it shameful, I get offended when someone does not say please or thank you. I verbally and loud enough for the person to hear, say thank you when someone holds a door for me or anything. People are in such a rush these days they forget that manners matter.

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Allidsk8 Posted 14 Mar 2009 , 12:19am
post #6 of 39

OMG! I totally agree with you. I have worked in the restaurant business for 13 yrs and really am starting to think that please and thank you have left the english language. We do political fundraisers in the morning at one of our locations and I swear the higher up in the so called "food chain" the more inconsiderate you are. I have a woman that I see at every fundraiser she demands things we don't even offer. Un-real

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dailey Posted 14 Mar 2009 , 12:19am
post #7 of 39
Originally Posted by foxymomma521

Ohhh... you know what I can't stand? When someone wants instructions on making one of your cakes, and instead of asking nicely, with a please or thank you, they say "I need the instructions". I was so annoyed the last time I got that as a comment on one of my pics... I mean, I'm all for sharing tips and instructions, but ask nicely!!
Lol- sometimes I think people just take other peoples time for granted.

that is my HUGE pet peeve. i hate to say it but i don't *always* answer my PM's anymore simply because i get so turned off by the same song and dance. the email is always full of compliments and "please" and "thank you's", however, *all* manners are gone after you give the instructions, recipe, etc.

seriously, how hard is it to respond with a simple, "thanks".??

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Skirt Posted 14 Mar 2009 , 12:21am
post #8 of 39

Listen to us... we've become our parents! Hahaha

Just so you know that not all is lost:

I was at the cash at a store when 2 guys came up and seemed in quite a rush to get out. You know, glance at watch, tapping of foot, etc. One of the clerks rushed to the next cash and offered to serve them there.
We ended up leaving at the same time and I stepped back a bit to let them go by since they seemed so pressed for time. Well, they did pass in front but the 2nd guy stopped and held the door for me (and I was empty handed BTW). I said something to the effect of "Oh, how nice of you" and he quickly replied that he was in a rush but that he was NEVER in that much of a rush.

He made my day!

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misserica Posted 14 Mar 2009 , 12:23am
post #9 of 39

I do not know what is so hard about it...does it hurt to say the words, like do something weird to your tongue or something?
I babysit for two young children, 4 and 3, and they say "I want this or I want that" so I will go and fetch whatever it is and then they look at me as if to say "well hand it over" and I stand and wait. They have since gotten the hint that it means please and when they have gotten said item they say thank you. I do not care if their mom does not make them say it but heck if they wont say it to me.

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Allidsk8 Posted 14 Mar 2009 , 12:27am
post #10 of 39

I hate to say this but my 3 yr old has better manners than most people I come in contact with. (and I owe it all to my mother, she watches her m-f) icon_wink.gif

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BCJean Posted 14 Mar 2009 , 12:30am
post #11 of 39

When my grandson, who has always lived with me, was about three years old, I was trying to teach him to always say "Please". I started an arrangement where if he didn't say please, I would ignore his request. "Pass the bread" got no response. "Pass the bread please", got him the plate of bread.

When he was 4 he started preschool and after about a week his teacher contacted me and said he would never do anything she asked him to do. "Okay, put your books away" or "Let's form a line by the door"....etc.

I questioned my little grandson about it, and his answer was, "But she didn't say please".

I explained the situation to his teacher and from then on all of her requests included that magical word.

Maybe you should just ignore all questions which are not followed by the word please.

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tripleD Posted 14 Mar 2009 , 12:31am
post #12 of 39

I know what you mean. Manners have gone not only with cakes its every where.
I was always taught please, Thank you, yes mame yes sir shop to the right say excuse me yadayyada.
I was thanked for being a nice customer at a deli a couple of weeks ago. First the lady before me (cringe) was on a cell phone at the counter and held a finger for the worker to wait a moment (rude). Then she insisted on three medium slices of about 6 different meats.?? Then she had the nerve to smart off to the worker. she did nothing wrong. When it finally came to my turn I could see that she was frazzled. I gave her my simple order and when she handed me the meat I told her thank you for her time. I thought she was going to cry. She said that was the first time she was ever thanked like that. But I know how she feels.

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Kitagrl Posted 14 Mar 2009 , 12:31am
post #13 of 39

Oh I know, that "I need instructions" thing on here really gets to me. haha

Actually though to me what is worse than not saying "thank you" is totally someone who pretends they are interested (maybe they are scared of the price but won't admit it) and then leave you hanging!

I'd so rather just not hear "thank you" than really think they want to book a cake and never hear from them again. I had a couple tasting cancellations this weekend and I am almost wondering if they are truly going to reschedule, or its their way of saying "I found someone else".... now THAT bugs me.

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KrissieCakes Posted 14 Mar 2009 , 12:33am
post #14 of 39

BCJean - I do the same with my kids! Tone of voice is included too...if you are whiney it doesn't matter if you say please...it's a package deal - tone and please. Even my 11 month old says please - in sign language since she can't talk yet!! icon_smile.gif

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summernoelle Posted 14 Mar 2009 , 12:37am
post #15 of 39

Funny-it doesn't bother me at all when clients do it-just wehn people here on CC ask me for help or advice and never say thank you. Now THAT gets me going. icon_lol.gif

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sweet1122 Posted 14 Mar 2009 , 12:49am
post #16 of 39

I can't believe that people wouldn't say thank you for asking you to share something that you did with them. I'm simply stunned. I've never had the courage to ask anyone anything like that through PM, but OMG if I did I can't imagine NOT saying thank you.. How do you not?

I replied to a post a few days ago and the person PM'd me to say thank you for my response. I felt it necessary to PM back, You're Welcome!

I mean, Hello! What's happening?

My almost 4-year old says thank you for EVERYTHING. Sometimes he even brings me to tears. Like, "Mommy and Daddy, thank you for the birthday party." or "Mommy, thank you for taking me to the park." Things you don't expect to be thanked for...

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kellertur Posted 14 Mar 2009 , 4:47am
post #17 of 39

I agree... I'm happy to help anyone (so many have helped me).
However ~ There was one weekend (I kid you not) that I sent around 35 PMs out to people requesting recipes only to receive "thank you" from about 1/2. (that's just not polite.) It took me a long time. Some of them were a bit demanding, and didn't even bother to ask. I remember once not getting back to someone within the same day and getting a "reminder" PM that was rather rude. I don't understand the whole "expect and demand" philosophy, but that's me and I'm weird. icon_cool.gif

It's just nice to know that someone "received" your message. Half the time I wonder if my message was lost, until I open my sent folder and see it was "received" icon_sad.gif . To me, that's a bit rude - even if it's not intended to be.

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summernoelle Posted 14 Mar 2009 , 5:05am
post #18 of 39

Yeah, a week or so ago, I got a very nosy PM from someone, wanting me to tell them how to rent a kitchen, how to get insurance, how to price their cakes, how to involve the HD, on and on. I spent about 30 min giving her an answer. She never wrote back to say thank you. How rude is that?

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hallow3 Posted 14 Mar 2009 , 12:16pm
post #19 of 39

Well, I have one that is totally opposite and really do not know how to address, I lived in the south for 28 years and was ingrained to say yes ma'am, no sir ect. No I am living in the North and when I say these things I get a funny look and they tell me "I am no Ma'am" ect. OK, so what is the correct way to address these people here I was also addressing some one the other day and I said " Miss Diane" as also taught and I got the funny look. What goes here in the north? I was brought up in the north from age birth to 11 and was still taught to call my grandmothers by their last names " Grandam XXXX may I have xxx". I am so confused now. What goes? Do these people not want manners or never heard of it? I gave a lesson over lunch on how we "people" in the south do things. Such as men opening car doors ect. I know not all southerns are this way but as a lady I expect these kinds of things because I was brought up this way.

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Eisskween Posted 14 Mar 2009 , 12:31pm
post #20 of 39

I always say thank you when someone answers a PM question for me. It's just rude not to. Maybe they haven't seen their emails yet? Or else, just bad manners.

Have a fabulous day!

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sweetjan Posted 14 Mar 2009 , 12:42pm
post #21 of 39

I'm with the rest of you and hallow3, raised in the south where it ---used to be---unthinkably rude to not say please, thank you, ma'm, etc.
Not now....kids calling adults by their first names still shocks me, and I think it's wrong. (and I'm not an old lady!!). A little eye contact, please, thanks for your time, etc. just show respect for another human being in my mind, and I don't intend to change (yes, I've been made fun of, too!).
It's all about respect. So there! icon_smile.gif
And let's don't even get started on the rudeness of cell phone use now. Total, engrossed conversations with someone on the other end of the phone....with you standing right there??? All we can do is the right thing ourselves and teach our children the concept of respect. Hopefully it will get better rather than worse.
Have a good weekend, all!

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Deb_ Posted 14 Mar 2009 , 12:58pm
post #22 of 39

hallow3 I'm from the Northeast born and raised. When someone calls me ma'am my first thought is "Oh no, I got ma'am'ed!" which to me translates to "I'm getting old!"

Lately I'm just so happy when someone takes the time to say "Thank you ma'am" that I don't even get offended anymore. LOL! Besides, I am 40-something so I guess I am a "Ma'am" now..........sigh

Now having said that, if I'm in the South and someone calls me ma'am, I'm not offended at all because I know that it's meant as a form of respect and not that I'm getting old. KWIM? icon_wink.gif

I'm not trying to defend some of the "PM offenders" but I know there are a LOT of members here that don't write or speak English as well as others. I've had a PM in the past that went something like this............"You will send me recipe for ________ now", and that was the entire content no "please", no "thanks", nothing. icon_lol.gif

I could tell by the screen name that they were not from the US and English was obviously not their first language. So I sent it and wondered if they could even read and understand it. icon_rolleyes.gif

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Caths_Cakes Posted 14 Mar 2009 , 1:03pm
post #23 of 39

personally i think its lazyness, thats all it is, my mother brought me up to say please and thankyou. its amazing how often you see such a disregarde of just general, niceness. . i mean it doesnt take more than a few mintues to hold a door open for a woman with a pram, or some in a wheelchair. my cousin who is 14, was ridiculded by his friends because an old lady dropped her walking her stick in a shop que, and he ran over to pick it up for because he could see she was struggling, and no one else bothered to help, so he went and helped her, she told him thankyou very much and he said its no problem , and his friends laughed at him for it!!!! it cheeses me right off because if i go into a shop, or get of a bus, i always say thankyou , or have a nice day or what ever. . . you know what they say, one random act of kindness will change the world. at least i know it makes ME feel better, so i imagine the person of the recieving end would feel good to!

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bigsisof3kids Posted 14 Mar 2009 , 1:10pm
post #24 of 39

To all you former Southerners... There is hope! I'm a Michigan girl, born and raised, and my parents taught all of us to be respectful and polite. Yes, I get the strange looks too, especially if I say "Ma'am" or "Sir" to someone my age or younger! (It just slips, lol icon_smile.gif ) So not ALL of us northerners are impolite icon_biggrin.gif Although most are, I agree.

To the person that posted about being polite to the waitress... THANK YOU! Waitressing is awful, some people treat you like trash, or their personal slave or something. I understand that it is a our job to take care of you at a restaurant, but don't expect us to refill your Coke faster than you can blink. So when a person is nice and polite, it really makes your day! I make sure to be EXTRA nice now whenever I eat out icon_smile.gif

Don't get me started on the cellphones....

Thank you for posting this thread, KiddieKakes icon_wink.gif

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lapazlady Posted 14 Mar 2009 , 1:14pm
post #25 of 39

We feel a Please and Thank You are common courtsey, but that isn't true in all cultures. Here, in Mexico, when you get a phone call the person on the other end is likely to "whose speaking"? You have to adapt. Life is too short to get worked up over small things. (Oh, and a cake is accepted, praised at the moment, and don't expect to hear another word.) Yes, we expect to hear Please and Thank You, and even want to hear it, but are the questions being answered to be helpful or to get a pat on the back?

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Brownie1954 Posted 14 Mar 2009 , 1:15pm
post #26 of 39

Hello....Just wanted to say that I was born and raised here in the North, and I, as well as a lot of us have manners. I say Yes Sir, Yes Mam, Excuse Me Please, Thank you etc. Society as a whole EVERYWHERE has just gone downhill in manners, and how others are treated. It shows in the way people drive, push up in lines, conduct themselves. Ill manners are not just a "Northern thing"
I am new to CakeCentral, and I would like to know what the abbreviations MMF mean? Couldd someone please tell me what this stands for? Thank you..... icon_razz.gif

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Rexy Posted 14 Mar 2009 , 1:18pm
post #27 of 39

I had something similar happen this week. Had a lady email me an order for her twins' 1st birthday. We went back and forth at least 6-7 times, until she said she had enough information and decided to go with someone else. The other person had the edge because she had tasted her cakes and not mine! The thing that got me was that she wanted to order the cake and never told me she was considering someone else! icon_mad.gif

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hallow3 Posted 14 Mar 2009 , 1:32pm
post #28 of 39

MMF means Marshmellow Fondant. You welcome! icon_biggrin.gif

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Trixyinaz Posted 14 Mar 2009 , 1:39pm
post #29 of 39

Yeah, manners have fallen by the wayside and it is really really sad. When I moved from AZ to MI, I couldn't believe how RUDE people were. We lived in Southfield and every time I'd go to the store and someone was coming in behind me, I'd stand and hold the door, not just shut it in their face like most people do. 9 out of 10 times they NEVER said thank you! How annoying. I'd pass someone, smile and say "HI", mostly I got nothing in response, but if I was lucky, I'd get a GRUNT. WTF? Go through a grocery line and get to the cashier and say, HI, How are you? Again, 9 out of 10 times they ignore you. I was so frustrated and HATED Michigan people. I thought for sure I had moved to the RUDEST state in the United States. But then we moved to another suburb. OMG! Night and day. People hold the door for you, they say HI, they say Thank you, Please, etc. While at the grocery check-out stand, you actually get to know the cashier and talk to them...sometimes on a personal level. So refreshing to be with civilized people again - and only 30 miles away from the RUDE CITY.

There are just certain areas in cities, states and the country where you will encounter people with no manners. I'm not sure what it is....or why, but I have no use for those type of people. I think people like that feel some sort of entilement and think they are above having manners.

Thank you for taking the time to read my post... icon_lol.gif

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hallow3 Posted 14 Mar 2009 , 1:42pm
post #30 of 39

just a funny story about manners. When my now husband went out on our first date. We met at a Walmart parking lot to meet up. When we got out and started talking we decided to go in his truck, to a park to walk. He opened my door for me, " 10 points for being a gentleman" Opened the door for me when I got out "another 10 points" then as we went to leave, he got in his truck and I stood outside until he got out again, walked around and opened my door for me. "-10 points buddy, lesson learned" I told him "I am not his typical woman you just met but, I am a lady and you will treat me like a lady and Ladies always get their door opened" to this day, I still get my door opened. with the exception of we are in a hurry. But when we go to dinner or somewhere nice it is always expected and I will sit in the car or wait outside until he comes and opens the door. You have to train them right and from the beginning. I really can't believed he married me but he said it was because "I was a lady" from the first day met.

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