OMG!!! Where do I start??? ditto to pretty much what everyone one else said..
I know this is a pretty tough situation & you have to be careful as there are little children involved here...However something needs to be done ASAP! Someone earlier mentioned writing down all the details as they happen, that is good advice. I remember on the Oprah show the episode where the woman was abused & was caught on video, I believe her co-worker or her boss wrote down all the details she knew like coming in late, when she had marks on her, days she didn't come it, etc & finally those notes helped when they went to court & was convicted...
What she is doing is wrong in everyway way... She can not continue to do this for eveyones sake, someone will get seriously hurt & I can guarantee it wont be her... Who knows what happens behind closed door when you aren't there. I know it might be harder for your brother to look for help outside, however if you or your Mom could get him started maybe he can see a way out & save those children & himself. He has rights as a father, remind him of that everyday if needed.
Hello everyone, I know I haven't responded to this thread in a while, alot has gone on this the last month between cake and hubby's deployment and the drama.
Here's an update:
We had a family discussion and I addressed my concern for the children and her behavior towards them and my brother. More for the children of course and she is currently seeking physcological help. She was diagnosed with bipolar disorder (that still doesn't excuse her behavior) and her mother is staying with them watching over the children. I have seen some improvement with her towards the kids and my brother and I can honestly say that I am a little bit happy about that. The 2 year old has been seen by a doctor and seems to not have any major psychological issues other than not getting the love and attention needed at his age but he seems to be getting better (according to the doc) He has been around children his age and behaving well. ( not that he was bad, it just took a little getting used to) So far so good.....
I wanted to say thank you to all of you for helping me with this situation, I had a very hard decision to make and I didn't want my brother to hate me for making the right decision. Even though I don't like what she was doing I have been trying to get close to her for the sake of my brother and the children. I see them about 4 days a week and I can happily say that the situation is getting a lot better. Thank you all for your support. I don't know how I would have handled it without you all.
Hugs to you during this terribly stressing time....I cannot imagine what you are feeling. My brother and sister in law are divorcing (they have 2 kids) and they get along and she is nice, etc....and I'm stressed over it just because of the akwardness (sp)....I would be eating xanax if I were you..lol
Good for you. I know that was a difficult decision (DH and I had to commit my MIL for mental instability) but in the long run the whole family wll be better for it. Especially the children. Love and consistency are what children really need, whether or not they get it makes all the difference. God bless you for saving them.
OMG....she sounds exactly, EXACTLY like my FORMER sister-in-law. My brother turned a blind eye to her wackadoo craziness while he was with her. He worked 3 jobs and she worked none. Yet she complained that he wasn't taking care of her!!!!! She left him three times.....I think trying to get a rise out of him. The last time he told her she wasn't coming back. SHE STILL BLAMED HIM FOR NOT TAKING THE TIME TO FIX THEIR RELATIONSHIP!
Girl you and I could talk for HOURS about crazies!!!!!!! I feel ya!
OMG....she sounds exactly, EXACTLY like my FORMER sister-in-law. My brother turned a blind eye to her wackadoo craziness while he was with her. He worked 3 jobs and she worked none. Yet she complained that he wasn't taking care of her!!!!! She left him three times.....I think trying to get a rise out of him. The last time he told her she wasn't coming back. SHE STILL BLAMED HIM FOR NOT TAKING THE TIME TO FIX THEIR RELATIONSHIP!
Girl you and I could talk for HOURS about crazies!!!!!!! I feel ya!
Are you sure they are not the same person? 
She's been better with the kids but she really does not like my mother and tries to interfere with their relationship but I tell my mom that sometimes when people are not happy with themselves nothing will ever make them happy. They could have everything in the world and something will always be wrong. I feel bad for her because she's only nineteen and already has two kids and no kind of education or work experience. She just wants to sit at home and let him work his butt off and then tells him what he can spend his money on.
I'm glad they listened to me because I really have enough on my plate already and I can't handle anymore drama. I might start having a glass of wine every now and then just to try to get through the deployment that is creeping up too quickly on hubby.
People are so strange! Surely, she understands that your husband is leaving for a while and he is much more important than a CAKE!
Some people don't understand the situation unless they go through it because they don't think it will ever happen to them. She's young too so I expect that from her. I have met a lot of people that have understood and been very helpful for me up to this point and it's not too bad yet. When he leaves is the hard part, I don't know if I could handle that, I can't sleep at night with the idea running through my head and it gets hard, reaally hard when I look at him and realize that at some point he's not going to be here. It makes my stomach turn because we have been together for the last 5 years and only apart a month or two. This is going to be really hard for me, but i'm glad that I have cc and all of my friends on here to help me when I get weak. I know that I really can't count on my family because i'm the tough one and they always come to me. I can't really explain it too well but we have issues and I try to keep my marital things separate from my families ears. I would rather talk to a complete stranger about it. ( the smallest things tend to get blown out of porportion more than they need to be and then dragged on for centuries)
I had a verbally abusive mother, the "I wish I never had you, your stupid/ugly" & my personl favorite "You are nothing but a parasite leaching off me" type mom. I also had my first at 17, so age is just an excuse! I took care of my child by myself, not cause her father wasn't there, but he deployed when she was 2 weeks old (the 1st Iraq War) & didn't come back until she was 8 months. I SO feel for you even more then it was me.It's a total different situation this time around. I'll heep you in prayer. Also, as we used to say "I respect your gansta!" on how you handled the situation. I have 2 sons & 5 DAUGHTERS, and as I like to say,"My son's have 5 sisters. I wish a girl would think to act crazy!".
Curtsmin24, thanks for posting the update, and I am so glad to hear that you spoke up and that she is getting treatment and also assistance (meaning, her mom helping out). The fact that she sought psychological help AND was diagnosed is a huge step and could lead to lots of improvement. (((hugs!)))
Bipolar is a big deal, so kudos to you for stepping up and helping her get/seek treatment. You guys may never be friends, but it is great that you can remain civil with her.
My best wishes for your husband's health and safety on his deployment. And for yours.
Margaret
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