Difficult Brides

Decorating By ntertayneme Updated 16 Aug 2005 , 8:52pm by traci

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ntertayneme Posted 15 Aug 2005 , 11:18pm
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Ok.. it's vent time!! lol .. I want to know if anyone else has the problems I had w/the bride for this last wedding I did ... talk about take advantage of a person, I feel these people did .. first of all, this bride is in the military and was stationed in Germany... she's had her mother plan most of her wedding with me via emails .. I also spoke on the telephone many times with the bride and mother in a 3-way call .. the entire wedding cake was planned and the groom's cake, as the groom is from Montana and she said they don't do groom's cakes up there... so his mom knew nothing about groom's cake and left it up to the bride... ok, here's the part that really got to me... the brides cake was always to be 3-tiered square but all aligned... they had originally wanted 2 side cakes with stairs coming from the side cakes to the main 3-tiered cake.. well they decided later, they didn't want this and asked me if I could adjust my price since they didn't want them anymore .. so I did .. then she calls and changes the entire way she wanted the cake decorated .. original plans were to cascade flowers all the way down; no cake topper ... later, she decides on a cake topper and then ribbon around the second tier and flowers from the bottom tier coming around to the front .. she wanted roses to begin with ... so she changes the flowers to lavendar mums and asks me to adjust the price again, which I did, again ...

the next call was to discuss the groom's cake ... now she had already decided on the paintball theme since he was really into that .. well she calls me 2 weeks before the wedding and tells me that now she thinks that would be silly to do .. I asked why, and all she could say was she didn't want that anymore ... she wanted just a chocolate groom's cake but she wanted the inside to be chocolate/chocolate chip instead of just plain chocolate .. and of course, would I change the price since I didn't have to do as much detail to the cake .. I told her no, that since I had to add all the chocolate chips, the price for all the cake remained the same...

well it's a week before the wedding now and they call me.. the bride is in from Germany and wants to meet me and they also owed me the remaining half of the money for the cakes ... so I go to meet them and to actually meet the bride face-to-face .. now this is where it gets good... I was informed that the reception location was changed in a backhanded comment right before I was about to leave "oh, by the way, the reception is going to be at blah blah blah, instead of the church" .. by the time I got home, I was just fuming .. my husband can't understand why either .. he said "you're getting paid to do it, so where's the problem".. I tried to explain that you get everything set in your mind of exactly what you need, how you're going to do it and the time you need to load all the cakes up and head off to the reception hall to assemble everything... oh, I forgot to mention, the location change made the cake delivery another 20 miles further away ... I told my husband, from now on, all cakes will have a $25-$50 upcharge to them to compensate me for the last minute, backhanded changes that people feel they can make on you when you're committed and obligated to them to do their cakes .. ok, let me step off my soap box now! icon_biggrin.gif

am I wrong in the way I feel?????? did I have a right to be upset about all the changes (especially the reception location change... sheesh)???

19 replies
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cakeconfections Posted 15 Aug 2005 , 11:22pm
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I dont think you are wrong to be upset. If the location was changed at the last minute i would have charged them. Your cake was figured on a deliver that was closer and if you have a contract it is stated that is where the delivery should be. Since it is farther, and with gas just going up, it is now eating into your profits because of both time and gas.

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cakegal Posted 15 Aug 2005 , 11:28pm
post #3 of 20

That's too bad that happened to you...
You should put a clause in your contract /planning that if any thing changes the charge will go up...OR... just tack on a set-up and delivery fee...
I hope I never get one like that...

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nanni Posted 15 Aug 2005 , 11:30pm
post #4 of 20

You can be guaranteed that a caterer or someone else setting up things would have charged them extra for change of plans. I have it in my contract that the changes can be made up until 2 weeks before the wedding after that there will be an upcharge made on each change-how many tiers is one charge, location is another charge, cake flavor another charge etc. You can change the date however you see fit-I've never run across a bride like that so mine says 2 weeks-however if I do I will probably change the date/timeframe....you stick to your guns-I am sure she will love the cake-and if she doesn't you certainly can't take blame for it-lets see if she changes her mind about the groom...........

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tcturtleshell Posted 15 Aug 2005 , 11:40pm
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Sooooo Sorry Cheryl that this happened!!! I remember you telling me about this. Vent some more girl if it makes you feel better!!! Did they change the plans just this week??? And the wedding was in a week? I can't believe you didn't clobber them!! Just joking! That bride just doesn't know what she wants.

I would put a clause in your contract saying that the cakes can not be changed in the last 2 wks before the wedding. That might make it easier. Had you already baked & frozen the cakes yet? I would really be mad if you did! I would call them & charge them extra for the delivery too. If your going futher then they need to pay more!

Hang in there Cheryl!!! Keep the smile on your face & grit those teeth! It'll be ok~

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ntertayneme Posted 15 Aug 2005 , 11:51pm
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Thanks everyone .. I think what bothers me most is the fact that you get it all set in your mind how you're doing to do it so it'll come out just perfect, then they change it all .. I met with another bride-to-be right after I set the cake up this difficult bride .. she didn't really know what she wanted but did choose a cake and told me, she didn't care if I made some changes to the cake as long as it was pretty and simple .. that she wouldn't be mad at all and she totally trusted my judgment ... why can't they all be like this?? lol arrrrgggghhhhh!! this last wedding made me question why I was even doing wedding cakes lol

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tcturtleshell Posted 15 Aug 2005 , 11:54pm
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Don't question yourself Cheryl~ You do it because you love it!!! That will be only 1 bad bride in the bunch ok!!! Now all the good brides are standing in line to buy your cakes!!!! Don't worry Be Happy!!

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ntertayneme Posted 15 Aug 2005 , 11:59pm
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lol .. thanks tc icon_biggrin.gif I had 2 this month and 2 for next month

I'm holding out hope on another one that I'm hoping to get .. HUGE HUGE wedding at a very chic casino/resort next year .. I was told I'd be getting a telephone call .. keep your fingers crossed on this one ..

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dodibug Posted 16 Aug 2005 , 12:20am
post #9 of 20

Good luck on the big job and we will keep our fingers crossed that she is not a bride from h**l!! I think some people just like to be difficult for the sake of being difficult! But this does give us good ideas of what to put in contracts-so sorry it is at your sanity's expense! Just don't pull all your hair out-people will stare icon_lol.gif

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ntertayneme Posted 16 Aug 2005 , 12:32am
post #10 of 20

Hahahaha .. too funny dodibug ... well hopefully I won't have another difficult bride like the last for awhile .... for one thing, she didn't really know what the heck she wanted .. then she was only 19 years old .. maybe all that factored into this too icon_smile.gif

thanks everyone for your words of encouragement icon_smile.gif

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dodibug Posted 16 Aug 2005 , 12:39am
post #11 of 20

Oh, I think the 19 says it all-not that there is anything wrong with that (Seinfeld)! I can't imagine getting married at 19!! Shoot I had to wait until I was 31 to get married! Finally kept one around! icon_lol.gif

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nanni Posted 16 Aug 2005 , 12:55am
post #12 of 20

Maybe mom had a play in it too----sort of the controling type but sneaks in the backdoor type...didn't sound like bride was allowed to do it all on her own with what she wanted.....that and maybe being 19 didn't help! But you were a trooper and it will show on your beautiful cake......keep your chin up and telephone number handy......Good luck!

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debsuewoo Posted 16 Aug 2005 , 1:29am
post #13 of 20

dodibug, I was 31 when I got married too..... took me that long to find one I didn't laugh at when he asked me to marry him ( Yeah, I had two proposals that I went into hysterics over, fun guys, but not husband material).

I think that when I start doing wedding cakes I'm going to put in a clause that says 'price adjustments will result in a refiguring surcharge' or something to that tone.


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ljberry Posted 16 Aug 2005 , 1:31am
post #14 of 20

Hi Cheryl,
Get this, we had a difficult bride once. She had to have her cake red, white and blue for starters not that that's asking much but she wanted them to be, get this, 6", 4", and 3". Now, have you ever tried to cut a four inch and three inch cake and make it double layered? She claimed that her friends and family didn't like cake much so she didn't need a lot, lol. We spent hours trying to make those itty bitty cakes even and not lopsided. Finally, success! They were beautiful (or cute). Then she decided she didn't want them delivered she would send her fiancee to pick them up and that we were to put them in boxes. After the wedding she called back and complained about them being in boxes or something like that. We did everything we could to accomodate this woman and at no point in time was she satisfied. The real kicker is that following our pricing guide for wedding cakes, her cake came to a grand total of $35.00.
Probably the cheapest, smallest wedding cake in history, HA HA HA.
Needless to say, after that wedding we set some stricter guidelines and a minimum for doing weddings. icon_confused.gif

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Ironbaker Posted 16 Aug 2005 , 1:38am
post #15 of 20

I can completely understand why you'd be annoyed and upset. I am the same way...you get it set in your head what you're going to do, how you're going to do it and when you're going to do it. Any monkey wrench just sets you off.

Next time you get an "oh just so you know...", hit them back with a "oh and just so you know, there's an upcharge for any delivery over ___ miles."

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kalikw Posted 16 Aug 2005 , 3:32am
post #16 of 20

I understand your dilemna, I have not had a difficult bride but difficult clients. I had a graphic design business on the side. Clinets who did not know what they wanted and always changed their minds at the last minute. After a while I wrote in my contract that any changes past a certain point was twice my hourly fee and a minimum rate of 2 hours would be charged. I also charged a premium for rush or late changes. Hope that helps, I think you handled yourself well. You make great cakes and they are going to be more "nicer" brides in your future. Hang in There.

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PurplePetunia Posted 16 Aug 2005 , 3:43am
post #17 of 20

I just went through something similar today!! Not as big as yours, but a difficult customer who couldn't make up her mind over the last 3 weeks about a birthday cake for this Sat. She changed her mind about a million times and last night said she would confirm the details today (Mon.) for sure after I told her I won't do it after that. Well she confirmed alright!!
She cancelled the whole thing!! I normally don't wait that long, and now I know I won't give in again!!

Hang in there. Just do your very best and knock their socks off!! icon_smile.gif

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ljberry Posted 16 Aug 2005 , 8:23pm
post #18 of 20

I just realized you're from Lake Charles. I'm from Sulphur. Small world.

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MrsMissey Posted 16 Aug 2005 , 8:47pm
post #19 of 20

You poor thing Cheryl, I know what you mean..I think us cake decorators have a common gene built in us. We are "planners"...we visualize the cake, make sure we have the supplies needed, start getting stuff together in our minds way ahead of time and pretty much schedule our lives accordingly! It totally throws me off when brides start changing things!

I wish you the best .....don't worry..you're gonna WOW them in the end!!

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traci Posted 16 Aug 2005 , 8:52pm
post #20 of 20

Hi Cheryl! I am sorry you got stuck with a difficult bride and mother! I have been really lucky so far. Anyway...your wedding cakes are gorgeous...so don't stop doing weddings because of one bad bride!!!!! I will keep my fingers crossed that you will get the BIG wedding cake order...and hopefully they will be easier to work with!
traci icon_razz.gif

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